Part Three

Where things get even more unrealistic because I'm just in one of those moods.

After five minutes of desperately quizzing nurses, Sam finally was at the door to his sister. She was in intensive care and he had no other choice but to sit and wait. He had no idea how long he'd end up sitting for, but there was no way he was going back to Dean just to be bombarded with questions he couldn't answer.

His phone must have buzzed at least fifteen times with missed calls and texts from Dean, who was still lying in bed, as well as an irritated phone message from Bobby telling him to answer his brother so he'd shut up. Sam shut it off, and shoved it into his pant pocket.

Eyes drooping, and feet tapping on the floor, flashbacks flickered behind his eyelids; the cracking of Caroline's skull on the ice, the blood seeping across the top of the frozen water, her blue skin beneath his shaking hands. Sam had never realized how traumatic his life was, and now he was crying. Even normal hunts would put a normal person in shock, it was a mystery to him how his family wasn't more affected. Well…no…Caroline obviously was, and had been for a while. If only he had seen this coming. How could he have missed this? He had tried to help her the past week, but obviously he didn't try hard enough.

Alone and weeping silently, Sam felt a hand on his shoulder. He jerked up and was met with a middle age man, complete with a greying beard and glasses.

"You're with Caroline Winchester?"

Sam nodded and wiped his eyes, "Sorry."

"Never apologize for cryin'. We're movin' your sister to another room. Her heart is stable, and her body temp is up. No signs of frostbite or tissue damage anywhere, our main concern is the hit from the fall. She fractured a few arm bones, and an ankle, but those are all easy fixes. Her head is what we're most worried about,"

Sam hadn't blinked since the doctor started talking and was just mutely nodding along.

"her cranial skull has a crack in it, which we are going to do emergency surgery on in a few minutes. As bad as all this is, kid is still pretty lucky. There was no extreme damage to the brain or any bleeding as far as we can tell so far. So she'll be under constant surveillance the next 48 hours." He stared at Sam, "I know that was a heck of a lot, you ok?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah sorry…it's been…a stressful day."

The doctor eyed him carefully, "We want to make sure Caroline's family is handling this well, so I'll try my best to make sure you all stay healthy and as stress free as possible. You got any questions for me?"

"Sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Doctor Henry Kroll, and I assume you're Caroline's brother?"
"Yeah, one of them."

"Right, right, the other one is being treated as well. Once Caroline is done, you can come be with her but I'm not sure how long that will be. So make sure you stay rested and fed. If you need anything ask one of the nurses or tell one to come get me."

"Thanks Doctor."

"No problem." Dr. Kroll began to make his way back to the operating room.

"Hey Doc?"

"Yes?"

"Will she wake up?"

Dr. Kroll gave Sam a look before finally answering, "I'll do my damnedest to make sure she does."

Sam gave a curt nod in thanks and put his head in his hands. This was a literal nightmare.

Caroline did not know what was happening. She was experiencing the strangest reality and felt as though she was floating and being crushed simultaneously. Her head was pounding, heart was thumping, and her eyelids felt as though they were being held down with weights.

She strained to hear everything around her; four hours she lay trying to determine her surroundings. Past the buzzing in her own ears, she could hear the beeping of monitors and machines and the chatter of voices in the distance.

At some point or another her left hand was being held and her face being caressed.

"…whatever it is…can't handle this…don't you leave me too…". A voice had been speaking to her for what felt like hours. For all she knew, she had been floating in and out of consciousness for days now.

And then she realized, she was still alive. It was hard to tell what emotion dominated her mind after that realization, all she knew was it wasn't a good one. The plan had not been to survive that fall. Well the plan hadn't really existed, not up until moments before jumping. But she had known she wanted to die; just didn't know the specifications of how.

Her head hurt but she could still remember what had happened. She hadn't planned on her brothers showing up, that ruined everything. It was as though the world wanted to give her one final exit, a big bang, one last mammoth disappointment. Well it had almost worked. And now the thought of having to see her brothers was tearing a pit in her gut.

Finally her eyes opened, she could make out the distinct blurs of her brothers on either side of her. The thought alone of being watched while she slept made her whole body fall into an uncomfortable sweat. The right blur was Dean, she could tell, it was bouncing its knee up and down at an incredible speed; which made the nonmoving one to her left, Sam. They were asleep, and the lights were coming through the door window. No one was watching her; she still had time to finish.

Getting out of bed was out of the question, she could barely move her head, so she had to find something else nearby. Eyes darting around, Caroline spotted the lump in Dean's left pocket. It was one of his smaller knives, that's where it usually was. If she could get it without waking him up, a few quick slices of the wrists would do it.

She tested the bed out by rocking side to side, satisfied to find that it didn't squeak. Exerting every last bit of energy she had left, Caroline reached down to Dean. His arms were folded, head back, and feet planted firmly in front of him. Caroline felt a ping of guilt as she took in her oldest brother's sleeping face and tears poured down her face. The closer her fingers got to his knife, the more out of control her thoughts were getting. She was in a manic state, with racing thoughts as her body heated up with nerves.

Slowly she pulled the knife from his pocket, it was a Swiss army knife just as she had thought. Rolling back into her original position she looked at the knife and flicked open one of the blades. Not giving herself time to think of anything other than the racing thoughts of death and sadness, she drew the blade across her left wrist. She could barely feel anything, just watched silently as the blood poured out. Then she slit her right wrist. This time she felt it and couldn't hold back the gasp of pain.

On either side of her she could see her brothers twitch in response to the noise. For some reason this upset her more than anything else and she had to clamp a bloody hand over her mouth to keep from sobbing. She dropped the knife onto the bed somewhere and covered her face as her arms bled out, her crying turning into hyperventilating.

That's what woke Sam and Dean up.

Dean had given the hospital staff literal hell while he was being treated. They finally released him early because they couldn't stand his questions and passive threats any more. He had found Sam not long after Caroline's doctor had spoken to the younger brother about the surgery.

And since that point, the two had guarded her room with an unyielding vigilance. Bobby would come and go, retrieving food and drinks for the boys, but could never get them to leave. Once they were allowed in Caroline's room, Dean had asked Sam to go get him some coffee. Reluctantly Sam did and left Dean alone with their sister. Dean had let himself cry as he cradled his little sister's hand, and begged forgiveness from his parents.

And ever since taking up his post directly next to Caroline, every moment of sleep Dean would get, was plagued by nightmares of John and Mary screaming at him in pure disappointment, and bursting into flames.

It was during a similar nightmare that Dean was interrupted by a small mew of pain from his left. He groggily rubbed his eyes and looked at his sister. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest.

All he saw was his sister finally awake; she had finally woken up five days later, but she was covering her face…and crying?

Dean immediately reached for her arm, to pull it away and look at her, "Carrie-" his fingers wrapped around her right forearm and instantly let go. He looked down at his hand, and could see from the hallway light, it was covered in deep crimson blood.

"Caroline!" he nearly screamed, jumping out of his seat, officially waking Sam all the way up. Dean grabbed his sister's hands and yanked them from her face. He could see her pale face was soaked with tears and streaked in blood.

"Dean what happened?" Sam cried out from across the bed, his hands gesturing around in confusion.

"Sammy, get help-"

"What hap-"

"Get help!"

Sam ran out into the hall and began yelling for a doctor.

Caroline was whimpering and sobbing concurrently as Dean desperately stroked her cheeks and tried to keep her hands away from her face.

"God, Caroline," now Dean was choking on his own sobs, "what did you do?" All he got in response was another cry of anguish from his sister who threw her head back in misery and continued crying. "Why? Why, why, why?" He kept repeating as his tears fell onto Caroline's already soaked face.

Sam had returned, with two nurses and a doctor on the way. They pushed Dean out of the way and took in the blood soaked sheets. Caroline began screaming and thrashing as the nurses tried to grab her arms to begin cleaning up, and successfully hit one of them in the face.

Dean and Sam stood off to the side, watching in a horrified silence. Their little sister was losing her fucking mind.