Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world belong to J. K. Rowling.

Chapter 4:

Harry fell into lethargy. Severus worried. He didn't think they were much at risk, and Harry urgently needed something. He was just a boy, barely sixteen. And what childhood had he had? Neglected and abused. He'd understood Voldemort too well. What goes with children and summer holidays? Severus Snape decided to take Harry to the beach. Not a wizarding resort, but a nice place in Devon that he remembered from his own childhood. As far as he knew, it was still much the same.

Harry made no objection. He didn't seem able to think for himself these days. There were two weeks left before school was to resume.

**xx**

Three days into the holiday, Severus watched Harry as he wandered listlessly along the beach at the edge of the water. He'd been surprised when the boy had said that he'd never been to the beach. He hadn't been eating, and again he looked skin and bone. He went back to his book.

Harry noticed a building project in progress, and looked at the sandcastle with awakening interest. Walls and turrets, decorated with shells. A girl of about twelve said, "You can help if you like. We need to finish the walls before the tide comes in."

Her sister said, "He's a boy. He won't play with girls!"

Severus was comfortable, a chair, beach umbrella, and the latest book by his favourite author. He enjoyed detective stories. He didn't even glance up for half an hour, and when he did, he didn't see Harry straightaway. He scanned along the shoreline, looking for the boy, and then searched out to sea, suddenly worried. Harry had been so depressed, and he couldn't swim well.

Severus stood, anxious, and walked toward the water, peering. Only when he turned did he notice the three children quite close, with their sand sculpture. He was astounded. The boy who seemed so adult, was sitting in the sand, carefully arranging a lining of shells along the top of a wall. He heard him comment, "The moat will soon fill."

The older girl said bossily, "The wall is good, Harry, but you have to make the moat a lot deeper." Obediently, Harry started deepening the shallow trench that was the moat. Severus shook his head, and returned to his chair.

Three days later, Harry bounced into the tiny flat they shared, and said, "Bess and Kate are going to a fun fair tomorrow. Do you have any objection if I go with them?"

"Of course not. I'm not responsible for you, you know."

Harry grinned at him, "I thought it only polite to ask."

"What about money. How much do you need?"

Harry looked confused, "No idea."

"I suppose you've never gone to a fun fair, either."

"I've scarcely been anywhere. I told you that."

Severus asked curiously, "How old do they think you are?"

Harry looked sheepish. "I thought it advisable to let them think I was not much older than they are. I think their mother might be suspicious of a sixteen-year-old."

Severus handed over some Muggle money, and Harry said casually that he was building up quite a debt.

"Do you want to visit Gringotts? You do have access to some of your money, don't you?"

"I have a certain amount I'm allowed to withdraw each year. Then once I'm seventeen, Dumbledore can't limit it. I'm not quite sure why he's allowed to limit it now. He's not my guardian."

"So, Gringotts? And we can get hold of your list of required books for next year."

Harry hesitated, and then spoke very quietly, "Severus, not yet?"

"No hurry. But I'll have to return to Hogwarts two days before the start of the school year."

"I could just stay here for a little while..."

"So you could."

Harry was relieved. There was still a terrible wound in him, but here at the beach, a long way from his own world, it didn't hurt as much.

A few days later, there was another friendship that surprised Severus even more than the one with the young girls. This time it was a woman who appeared to be in her late twenties. Severus remarked the third time they went out together that she seemed a little predatory.

Harry grinned, "And guess who's loving being the prey. Would there were more predators like that out there!"

Severus raised his eyebrows, "You don't mean..."

Harry laughed, "She told me she adores initiating sweet little virgin boys. She's here for a week yet. She might find another boy, of course. Maybe someone a bit better built."

Severus glanced over at him, "You're looking better every day. And I swear you're taller!"

"Am I?"

To Severus's amusement, Harry went to the mirror and studied himself. He finally said, "I don't look sick any more, but I can't see that I'm taller."

"In six days, school starts. What are you planning on doing?"

Harry looked down and finally said quietly, "I'm dreading going back. It's like being here... It's the first time in my life I've really been free. I know it can't last, but I don't want it to end just yet."

Severus said casually, "You're a good student. It won't matter if you're a little late going back."

Harry said gratefully, "Thank you, Severus. For everything."

Severus smiled, "Look at my forearm. The Dark Mark is no longer dark." And besides, Harry made him laugh. Severus Snape had not had much laughter in his life.

Harry was having a wonderful time. The girls, Kate and Bess, left for home, but there were other people met at the beach. A young mother, who let him hold her baby and play with her toddler, a group of boys his own age, who liked to play a ball game, flexing muscles, and pretending every girl in sight was watching and admiring. And Catherina extended her stay. Sex was wonderful, and Harry confided to Severus that if there was absolutely nothing else, life was worth living in order to have as much sex as possible.

Severus laughed at him and said that it was time he found someone himself.

Harry asked, "You were married once, weren't you?"

"The healer said it was a brain aneurysm. She was only very young and there was no warning. It left a hole in me."

"I guess one just has to work around the holes."

"I guess so."

The time came when Severus said, "I leave tomorrow. I'll call in every few evenings, make sure you're OK, and I'll leave enough money to pay for rent. You know where the manager's office is. You can have as much time as you need."

Harry looked at him uncertainly and said, "Not forever. Maybe another two weeks. I am getting better."

"There's no hurry. Vriah will make sure you're well fed."

"Actually, I think it's better that Vriah not come. I'm perfectly capable of cooking, and if she's not here, I can invite Garry and Lisa over."

"Doesn't Garry have an older sister? Should I phone ahead? I'd hate to interrupt a seduction."

Harry grinned, "I've yet to seduce anyone, but a phone call would be convenient."

Harry was accepting a lot of money from Severus, but as Severus said, he was owed something. He felt that the wizarding world had never had the right to demand that he be the one to take on Voldemort. It was an unfair burden to put on a child, and part of his reluctance to acknowledge that Voldemort was dead, was because he resented that expectation. He didn't want them to know they'd got what they wanted from him. And the money? There was a large inheritance waiting for him at the Gringott's vault. Once he could access his money, it would be a minor matter to repay Severus. Severus. Funny that. Severus had never attempted to act like a father, even a guardian, but they'd become easy companions. What if Severus hadn't been there to pull him back from Voldemort? Voldemort would still have been left brain damaged, and few would care that Harry died doing it. Maybe Hermione, Neville, the others. He should really let them know he was alive. He supposed there was a post office somewhere...

Severus packed all his things the following morning, and said casually, "Best if there are no signs I was here." Harry nodded, feeling bereft. Severus said, "You won't be lonely. Make friends with Garry's sister."

"Her name's Amy."

**xx**

The Hogwarts students gathered on the platform at King's Cross station. Many were slow to board the train, looking for Harry. The newspaper stated that he was almost certainly dead, but his friends had seen him survive impossible odds before. There were reporters there, and two Aurors.

Minerva McGonnagal was also there. If Harry put in an appearance, stern handling might just be the difference between a tame return to school, or a further flight from his destiny. The reporters questioned her, and she confirmed that there had been no word of him.

"Do you think he is dead?"

"He was in poor health. I do not know what has happened to him, but I am not hopeful."

"Is it true that his aunt and uncle abused him?"

"There is no evidence that they had anything to do with his disappearance."

"Is it true that his aunt and uncle abused him?"

McGonnagal spoke in an exasperated tone, "Do you really think that Albus Dumbledore would have entrusted them with his care if there was any truth in that allegation?"

"Dumbledore himself placed him there?"

"Yes."

The line of questioning was dropped. Albus Dumbledore did no wrong.

Harry's younger acquaintances had gone. The summer was over, and there was school. Catherina returned to work. Yet still, Harry shrank from the thought of returning to Hogwarts. Every day, he walked, exploring the town. Every morning, he ran on the beach, only short distances to begin with, but going further every day. There were hills, but it seemed that he didn't yet have the strength to climb hills.

One evening, he impressed Amy, Garry and Lisa by putting on a dinner for them. It was a skill learned early, taught by Aunt Petunia. Putting on a good dinner was one of the few ways he could please her, but more importantly, he had sufficient to eat when he cooked. He had something in mind that night, and when Garry asked how he was allowed to get away with living all alone, he told them he was an orphan, and no-one much cared what he did. The four youngsters talked late into the night, and then Garry and Lisa decided it was time to go. Amy looked at Harry, and said, "If you offered another cup of coffee, I wouldn't say no."

Two hours later, Harry stroked Amy into wakefulness, and asked, "Will you be in trouble if you stay out all night?"

Amy replied, "I might," and kissed him. "You're better than any other boy I've tried."

"You make me very happy."

"Is it why you're sad, that you're an orphan?"

Harry said quickly, "I'm not sad. I don't even remember my parents."

Amy kissed him again, gently, and then rose and started looking for clothes. Harry sat up, unselfconscious about his nudity. Catherina had been a very good teacher.

A couple of days later, he paused in front of a tattooist's shop, attracted by a design of 'The Giant Killer.' It was a pity he was so slightly built. That would look great on a brawny forearm. He had slain a giant after all. For the first time, Harry felt a very small pride in his act.

Amy grabbed his arm and hauled him away, "Don't you dare!"

"How about a piercing then? It'd be fun to go back to school with a ring through an eyebrow."

"You have to be eighteen. They don't allow children."

Harry looked back. "I bet they do."

"Don't be silly. You haven't got ID."

"Of course I have. It says I'm eighteen."

Amy turned and regarded him, finally concluding, "You look thirteen! And if you want to spend your money, I suggest you have your eyes fixed. Laser surgery is very good these days."

"I can't afford it. I will one day though." Not laser surgery, but there were spells that could correct vision. It would be nice not to need glasses, but when Madam Pomfrey had suggested arranging a visit to a specialist healer, Dumbledore had refused permission.

Amy said firmly, "Investigate. There might be a waiting list, but National Health probably covers it."

"You're right. I should investigate."

Severus called in that evening, and Harry raised the subject. Severus suggested, "Simply threaten to tell a reporter that Dumbledore refuses it."

"I thought of returning to school with no glasses, tattoos and a ring through my eyebrow."

Severus shook his head, "Sorry, even with a ring, you're not going to look very tough."

Harry heaved a mock mournful sigh, "I guess not."

Severus said, "That reminds me," and he pulled the Nisco Monitor out of his pocket.

Harry groaned, Severus smiled slightly, and said, "Indulge me!"

Harry held out an arm, and Severus checked the monitor and smiled in satisfaction, "You have a High Normal LV. This must be the first time I've actually seen what you should be." He pulled out another monitor, "Weight now, and then take off your shirt." Harry complied, and Severus was very pleased, "You actually begin to look like something other than a plucked chicken."

Harry grinned, "Amy doesn't say I look like a plucked chicken!"

Severus laughed, "You're doing all right for a boy of sixteen. You won't have the opportunities once back at Hogwarts."

"There are ways. Fred and George gave me and Ron quite a lecture about ways and means last year."

"You are talking to a Professor, Potter!"

"Severus, that's not fair! This is off the record!"

Severus grinned, "Do you think the teachers don't know every last hiding place for student trysts?"

Harry said brazenly, "Yes."

Severus shook his head, and asked, "Dinner?"

Harry went to the fridge, "Steak Dianne?"

"I thought I'd take you out."

Harry looked at him, troubled, "You're spending too much on me."

"I was left a fortune, and never have found much to spend it on. I only agree to let you pay it back because you insist."

"What if we're seen together? Wizards go to Muggle restaurants too, sometimes."

"Steak Dianne, then."

Severus regarded the boy in pure satisfaction that evening as they talked. He no longer looked pale and haggard, no longer had those haunted eyes, and he was positive he was taller as well as heavier. There were still times when he had a look of lostness about him, but it was becoming less often. He was still thin, just not as thin.

Harry asked curiously, "What?"

Severus smiled slightly, "Catherina. She'll never know how much good she did when she chose you."

"I was a bit cautious the first time. I thought it possible that I was actually for a man-friend, rather than for her. I couldn't believe she wanted someone so puny."

Severus asked curiously, "Have you ever struck anything like that?"

"Once. I was nine and decided to try whether living as a street boy was better than my uncle's. Had such a fright I didn't try it again. My uncle mostly only yelled, after all." He spoke in a perfectly matter-of-fact manner.

Severus asked, "Why didn't you tell Dumbledore? Ask to be removed?"

"I did. He insisted that having a home with blood relatives was vital for my safety, though he did mostly allow me to spend part of the holidays with the Weasleys." He smiled, "Mrs. Weasley. She's just such a mother, you know. Quite prepared to adopt me instantly." He laughed ruefully, "And quite prepared to bawl me out for getting into dangerous situations."

"Have you written to her?"

Harry flushed. Of course he had to write to her.

Severus said casually, "No doubt she'll survive a few weeks worry."

"It seems... I'll get around to it."

Severus asked probingly, "You're all right now?"

Harry looked down again, finally saying, "Soon. I'll be all right soon."

"They're talking about releasing your picture into the Muggle papers. You'll be found soon enough if they do that."

"I can play Quidditch this year. I'll be too late for tryouts for the team, but they like having extras to practise with."

Severus was encouraged. He didn't want to hurry the boy, but he didn't want him to coast forever, either.

Harry was walking again the following day, and paused, watching over the fence at a construction site. It was progressing quickly as massive pre-cast cement slabs were lifted into position. It was to be a block of holiday units, and he'd been following its progress for the past week. One of the men strolled over and said, "Back again, boy? Surely you should be at school!"

"I'll be late this year. I was sick." He pointed, "Is that for a swimming pool?"

"Underground garage. Do you want to see?"

Harry beamed at him, "Yes, please."

"I'm Clarry. We'll go to the office first, and get you a hard hat. Regulations."

Clarry enjoyed the diversion of showing the interested boy over the site, pointing out where things were to go, and what was scheduled next.

"There doesn't seem to be much happening today..."

"A delayed delivery."

Harry said thoughtfully, "Building things. It seems such a very positive thing to be doing."

"Well, when you grow up, maybe you could be a builder."

Harry grimaced at him, "I'm sixteen, not twelve. I am nearly grown up."

"You're sixteen?"

Harry said ruefully, "Just yesterday, I was told that I no longer look like a plucked chicken. You could at least pretend I look sixteen."

"Sorry, Harry. Do you want to see how the crane works?"

"I'd love to see how the crane works."

Almost every day after that, Clarry would talk about what they were doing, just as long as he showed up in tea or lunch breaks. He wouldn't allow him to help, though. "Against Regulations," he said, and Harry detected his thought that he might hurt himself, that he wasn't strong enough.

There had never been any sport at Hogwarts except for Quidditch, and that was for a select few. Wizards didn't value physical achievement as a rule, but Harry was very tired of being small and perceived as weak. There was a new sports centre close, and he started going every day, working in the gymnasium until he tired, and then swimming in the heated swimming pool. Better than cold sea-water. After the first few days, an instructor noticed the skinny boy stagger and clutch the handle of the rowing machine. He'd ignored him before, but now asked him his aims. Harry explained that he'd spent too long ill, but he was better now, and just needed to grow a bit, mostly. Harry worked under supervision from then on, and no longer exhausted himself.

Severus checked on him again and asked whether he was still seeing Amy. Harry said regretfully, that she'd gone home.

"Keeping in touch?"

"She said to, but she was just being polite. She wants someone older."

"It's a pity you're not a sweet little virgin boy any more. You might find another like Catherina."

Harry grinned at him, "I can be a sweet little virgin again, as often as I need. All I have to do is look confused, and say something like - you put what in where?"

Severus laughed, "Is that what you did with Catherina?"

"Not exactly."

"School?"

"Can I have a couple more weeks?"

"You're taking a long time."

Harry looked down. Severus said slowly, "Tell me."

Harry shrugged, "Just that I feel as if there's something missing. Like I've had a part of me amputated."

"Amputees learn to live again."

"Of course they do, and it's no longer raw. For a while, it was like a physical injury."

"Yet he was your enemy, who killed your parents."

"Yet he was Tom, a small child who was nearly adopted, and then rejected. If the woman had taken him, he would never have become Lord Voldemort."

"What happened, do you know?"

"I don't know. My guess is that he was no more than three. Maybe there was some accidental magic."

Severus said slowly, "I guess you grew to know him very well."

"In some ways."

He was looking grim again, and Severus sought to lighten the mood, "I always wanted to know whether he actually took Bellatrix to bed?"

Harry shook his head, "I never saw him involved in any sort of sexual activity, not even masturbation. I don't know why."

"He took a sexual pleasure in torturing people, maybe."

Harry shook his head, "I could feel it when he tortured people. It might have given him pleasure, but it was not sexual."

Severus reflected that if it had been, Harry would not have taken such an uncomplicated delight in sex. Really, for someone with his history, the boy was surprisingly undamaged.

**xx**

There was an Order of the Phoenix meeting a few days later. Severus was in attendance, and replied when Dumbledore questioned, "Nothing to report. I may have lost his trust. I've not been summoned for two months now."

Kingsley Shacklebolt, an Auror as well as a member of Dumbledore's group, said, "McKenzie has a theory that he's in Germany, recruiting. There have been several unexplained deaths, most of them Muggle, but two wizards known to be Muggle-born. It is believed that he is still waging war on the mixing of pure and tainted blood."

Arthur Weasley said, "The kids say there's a rumour that Harry is with several Aurors, ready to duel him to the death."

Kingsley shook his head, "There's nothing like that, not even any Aurors missing. All we're doing is searching for Harry. We've even liaised with Muggle police, though they think he's just a runaway. We told them he's fourteen, apt to lie about his age."

Molly Weasley said, "You will be gentle with him, won't you?"

Kingsley answered patiently, "He has not committed any crime. It is just that he's the only one who can defeat him. We all know that."

Molly demanded, "How? He is just a child!"

Dumbledore looked as wise as he was able, and as benign. "Even now, he picks up any magic spell quickly and easily. He has exceptionally quick reactions. There is more. I had a Hecatema look at him in his first year. She sensed an enormous latent power. He will have the power the Dark Lord knows not, even if he doesn't believe it himself." He shook his head, "We must not blame him for being afraid. His is a difficult destiny."

In spite of his words, Dumbledore was furious with Harry Potter. He'd lost face with his protégé's disappearance. Once retrieved, he would not be allowed to escape again. Severus looked at the headmaster thoughtfully, and the following weekend, he taught Harry to apparate. He also reminded him that he could come to his office at any time, and added, "Even without provoking a Detention."

Harry supposed he should return to school. He supposed... A group of youths started pestering him one morning when he was running, and he wound up having a fist fight with Jimbo. Jimbo could hit harder, but Harry was far quicker. It was good having a fight that ended only in bruises. There was another first that same evening, when he was steered home by Jimbo and his mates, rollicking drunk.

There was also the gym, and Hermann commended him on his growing endurance. Then Clarry said that they'd be starting the next stage of the apartments shortly, and allowed him to work the crane a little, against all regulations, and Monica, a divorcee who was staying in the same block of units, laughed and agreed that she'd enjoy showing a naive young boy some new tricks.

Harry was having a glorious time, and ceased to think of his missing 'brother.' A Muggle policeman noticed him in the area and remembered a picture of a missing boy. He confirmed the sighting, and made his report. Special instructions coming from a very high level. No interference, just contact James Pettit, and there was a phone number.

**xx**

Hermione finished her essay and then carefully put her notes in a folder. Ron raised an eyebrow, and she said, "It's only been four weeks. As long as he has the notes, he can still catch up."

"He missed an awful lot of school last year. He didn't study for OWLs, so probably did poorly. If he does come back, they might make him do fifth year again."

Hermione looked appalled, "Surely they wouldn't do that to him!"

"They did it to two of the Hufflepuff boys."

"Yes, but they're borderline retarded. Inbred, probably."

"They're from highly respected Pure-blood families."

"Like I said, inbred. It doesn't do much for brains."

Ron Weasley felt a little insulted. His family was also a Pure-blood family, and his mother and father were second cousins. But he had brains. They all did.

**xx**

Harry said, "Yes, but Jimbo, I don't have the money to buy a leather jacket."

"It's getting colder, and that light thing you wear is just not good enough."

"It does me."

"Don't fib. You were shivering."

Harry looked at his friend, exasperated, "I told you. My money is limited."

"Have you tried a charity shop?"

Harry was abruptly stiff, "I don't need charity!"

"It's not charity. It's just a second-hand clothing shop. Profits go to charity."

Harry didn't find a leather jacket in the charity shop, but Jimbo's friend said that his old one was far too small. Harry couldn't resist. He tried it on, looked at himself in the mirror, and pronounced himself cool. It also made him look bigger. He liked looking bigger. On the back of it was a colourful design featuring the name of a Heavy Metal band.

Severus turned up, and Harry sighed, "Saturday. I'll return Saturday. I don't expect Dumbledore'll expel me."

"Saturday then. I'll arrange discreet transport to Hogsmeade."

"You will never know how grateful I am to you, Severus."

"It never occurred to me that I'd enjoy your company."

Harry grinned, "Nor me. You gave me far more than I expected."

Severus said abruptly, "I do not want anyone to know we were together. Please do not forget."

"I will not forget."

It was to be Saturday. Harry mentioned it to his various friends, and took care not to buy too many groceries. He made a final accounting of what he owed Severus, at least in terms of money. He thought he owed him his life. Severus thought he owed Harry his freedom, and very likely his life. But Severus had a very deep-rooted cautious streak. He would never otherwise have survived his years as a double agent. That he had any particular interest in Harry Potter was to remain a secret.

***chapter end***