BPOV
"Edward" I said whilst combing my long thick hair. Vampires never sleep but for some reason it was tradition for Edward and I to get ready for the human rest. "What do you think of Nahuel?"
"He's a good kid…why Bella?" he asked.
"Well, Renesmee asked me where babies came from today and asked whether she would be able to buy babies with Nahuel! I think things are getting a bit serious. Well… as serious as they can get with a 3 year old." Edward looked at me with his famous crooked smile.
"Everything will be fine, she doesn't understand what she's saying…not completely at least!" He walked towards me to snuggle me in his arms, but this wasn't the time to comfort. Renesmee had just gone to sleep and we were finally alone. He could comfort me tomorrow but tonight I had a different agenda. As he reached out his arms I grabbed one of his hands and pulled him towards the blue bed in the centre of the room. A sudden thump came from above and I jumped straight into Edward's arms. After a few seconds there was another one. I looked at Edward who shrugged his shoulders.
BOOM!
A four-poster bed fell straight through the ceiling, demolishing the blue bed that we had been sitting on moments before. Dust filled the air, creating a thick fog. I heard Emmett laughing loudly, but not his usual roar, there was a hint of embarrassment to it. When the fog cleared, I saw that Emmett and Rosalie were sitting in their once cream bed, both shielding their obviously naked bodies with the satin sheets. I could already hear the rest of the family behind me. Esme's gasp was the only response, at least until Edward burst into fits of laughter. Alice and Jasper were quick to join him. By the looks of Rosalie's face she was not amused and I knew laughing really wouldn't be good for our newfound friendship, so I held my laughter and tried not to smile. I heard distance footsteps and Nahuel came running in. He looked at the scene in front of him.
"Would you like a condom?" he blurted out at the shamed couple. My lips quivered and I burst out laughing.
"What?" he replied innocently. Wait! Why did Nahuel have condoms????? Alice seemed to be thinking the same thing.
"Why do you have condoms Nahuel, why? WHY?" he looked confused.
"I don't? I was going to go to the store and buy some."
"Oh. Okay. I knew that. I know everything"
"Okay honey, come on" Jasper ushered his wife out of the room.
The next morning in an attempt to put the embarrassment of last night behind us, we decided to go the beach. I watched as Renesmee held Nahuel's hand as they picked up shells. Suddenly Jacob came running across the beach. "Oh no" I muttered.
"SHE'S MINEEEEEEEE" he roared and then tripped over his too-long legs and skidded to the floor. Renesmee laughed. He got up and tried to punch Nahuel but he ducked. Jacob became confused and hit himself instead. This time I laughed. Jacob lunged for Nahuel again but he calmly moved out of the way and Jacob ran straight into the rock that Nahuel had been standing in front of. He slumped to the floor unconscious.
"That got to have hurt" Emmett chuckled. He and Jasper walked over, picked him up and chucked him into the ocean.
Five hours later, after we had all returned to the house, there was a knock at the door. Emmett opened it to find a very soggy Jacob.
"Gross, you smell like wet dog" he said covering his nose. I came to the door.
"Jacob you're not jealous of Nahuel are you?" I asked.
"No. I'm not"
"Okay. That's good because he's sharing a room with Renesmee and there's no other rooms left so…"
"We made you a kennel outside" Edward laughed.
"Haha. Very funny Edward"
"No Jacob. We're deadly serious." He stormed off out the back door.
That night I went to Renesmee's room to tuck her down. Nahuel wasn't really staying in the same room as her, he had the sofa downstairs.
"Momma I need to go to the toilet"
"Okay sweetie, come on" I took her hand and walked her to the bathroom. There was strange noises coming from inside. I knocked on the door. When nobody answered, I opened it to find Rosalie and Emmett pushed up against the toilet, in a rather compromising position. Completely naked I might add. They hadn't noticed me standing open-mouthed at the doorway.
"I knew we'd find a use for this thing someday," Emmett growled. Rosalie nodded.
"Oh my god, you're having sex on a TOILET?!?" I shouted.
Emmett turned around. "Oh hey Bella, I didn't see you there. You alright Nessie?"
AN: I like the whole Jacob/ Nahuel rivalry! It's fun to write. Let me know what you think and review please!