Author's Note: Another Chapter! Yay! I love this story, seriously, guys.
Okay, question: Should Clary talk to Jace? I'm going with yes, but I want your opinion too! :)
Disclaimer: God, guys, I wish! But sadly everything belongs to the talented Cassandra Claire!
Okay, feedback is needed for this story to continue. I just want to send a shout-out to Cheshire15. Love that you loooove this!
Thank you so much for the reviews guys! Keep them coming for more chapters! :)
Happy Reading . . .
Clary and Jace sat in a rather large booth in the back of a little quaint restaurant, known as Taki's. Clary liked it. It was . . . homey. Which was a strange feeling to get from a restaurant, but still. Clary nudged Jace and he glanced at her, just as his phone buzzed.
Her: I told Izzy I'd meet her in the courtyard after school. Jon is going to flip.
He shrugged, "I texted all of them to meet us at Taki's. Keep calm. Everything is okay." He smiled and she glanced at him. They sat rather close and the fact that he invited others explained why he was sitting directly next to her with his arm thrown casually across her seat. He was sitting so that there was the least amount of distance between them. Which meant that he wasn't touching her, but she could still feel his body heat. She liked it. About as much as she hated it.
Perhaps she should have stuck to her original plan, her life plan of no friends. Or no anything else involving another person that doesn't share her blood. Clary new immediately when her brother entered the restaurant. Not just because he called her name, but because he was Jon. They had been trapped for two years together in a darkened cell. Her body was just wired to feel his.
He took a seat next to her and gave her his, 'what the fuck?' look while Izzy, Alec, and Magnus shoved him to the side. Jon crawled, yes, crawled over Jace so that he sat in between them. His arm shoved Jace's away and he looked down at Clary.
"What the hell?" He asked and she shrugged, glancing up at him.
"Everything okay, Jon?" Jace asked and he was ignored. Clary nudged Jonathon, a little annoyed at her brother's meanness. Just because she hated the fact that she was gaining friends and losing control, didn't mean she didn't secretly want to keep them. Jon was different, he was never in a shortage of friends. He didn't understand her absolute hatred for other people and her undeniable need for human contact, other than what she got at home.
"What are we doing here? Did this weirdo do something to you?" Jon asked and Clary face palmed herself while Jace choked on nothing.
"What the fuck, man?" Jace hissed, yeah, he didn't like that. Clary moved and cupped Jon's ear, whispering into it.
"Stop." She begged in a pained whisper.
"I want to be here." She whispered even softer. Her stupid SM worked in an oddly strange way. Her brain told her when it was okay to talk. It was okay to talk in public as long as she was alone with Jon or her mother. It was okay to talk at home. It was not okay to talk surrounded by a bunch of people. She was starting to question if maybe her diagnosis had changed in the last five years since she got it.
Jon frowned and leaned back as she sat again. Jon cast Jace a glance, "Sorry." He says curtly and Jace scoffs under his breath. Clary sighs harshly before digging through her bag and pulling out her sketch book. She hands the image over to Izzy. As soon as Isabelle looked at it, she gasped. Her eyes took in every intricate detail of the design.
"Clary! When – How – I don't get it." She says and Clary shifted in her seat before grabbing her phone.
Her: I'm a good listener. I heard you freaking out about the face make-up for your first home game of the season. So I drew one for you.
Jace handed Izzy the phone as the waitress arrived. Jon ordered two cokes swiftly and dismissively before turning his attention to Clary, "You're . . . texting him?" Jon asked and Clary ignored her brother. Watching Isabelle's reaction. Izzy pulls out her own phone and, most likely types in Clary's number, before tossing Jace's phone dismissively back at him.
"Wait, correction, you're texting them?" Jon was getting impatient and Clary turned her attention with a growl, before standing and storming out of the restaurant. Jon followed. They ended up in an alley and Jon raised his arms to the side and gave her a look.
"What the fuck is going on, Clary? You've known them for not even a day and you're texting him? And letting him talk to you? And now you're texting Izzy. I don't understand. When we got out, you didn't talk to me, hell you didn't even look at me for ten months. And then when you did look at me, it took you another four to even open your mouth. So, what the fuck is going on?" He demanded and she stared up at him.
Jon and Clary were trapped in that hell hole when Jon was eleven and Clary was ten. Both getting out two years later and they both came out having experienced pain and trauma like neither had even known existed. Jon took to self-harm in dealing with it and Clary took to not speaking.
Jon's abuse only started when he eleven. Clary's started when she was six and it ended when she was twelve. Six years to his two. His was only ever physical and psychological. He never got the sexual or emotional abuse that she suffered at the hands of the two people who were supposed to protect her the most.
He had to watch her get raped. She had to watch him get beaten. They were connected forever and the fact that she was connecting quicker with Jace and Izzy than she had with him, hurt him. He showed anger, but she saw hurt.
"I don't know." She finally answered and he scoffed.
"You don't know?" He asked and she nodded.
"Yes. I have found myself trying to refrain from talking to them. Actually, I think I can, I just won't. I don't understand. I like him. I don't want to, but I do." She says with a shrug.
"Are you attracted to him?" He asked, keeping his face void of any emotion. Clary frowned.
"No . . . yes. I don't know." She sputtered and he sighed.
"Clary, listen. You deserve that, you know that right? The relationship, romantic or friendship. You deserve those things." He said slowly, as if talking to a child and she flinched, not at his tone, but at his words.
"Jon." She shook her head quickly, wrapping her arms tightly around her middle.
"I'm broken. Damaged. Dirty. Used. Disgusting." She wasn't able to finish with anymore adjectives.
"The fuck you are. They are dirty and disgusting and first of all Clary, last I checked for people to be used the sex had to be consensual." He grumbled and Clary rolled her eyes at his logic.
"You know that's fucking bullshit. And Jon, I know you and mom don't want me to feel this way, but I do. I mean, what the fuck? I get along with Jace, I perhaps start talking to him. I get close and I start to want him, but he's not going to reciprocate." She says and Jon raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, little sister, when was the last time a guy walked you to your classes and wasn't a complete douche bag? Do you think guys, who don't like the girls, go around and text them for communication?" Jon squinted at her in disbelief.
"He's just being nice." She recovered.
"No, he's in the starting stages of becoming pussy-whipped." Jon explained.
"It's pity." Clary deflected.
"No, he doesn't know anything about you, to pity you. Besides, if he did pity you, would he have told you that he's adopted?" Jon asked and Clary's eyes whipped up.
"Were you . . . were you spying on me, Jonathon?" Clary hissed and Jon shifted his weight.
"Yes and no. I was skipping last period, because I had geometry and I started walking around the school. I heard Jace having a conversation with himself and then I noticed you. Look I'm sorry, but you guys seemed cozy, so there was no way in fuck I was interrupting. Awkwardness isn't my thing, sis, you know that." He says and she huffs.
"Then you walk away, dumbass." She said and he nodded.
"Yeah, I was about to, but then he said that he slept around and you looked like you were about to go into a catatonic state, so I got ready to attack. Then he explained and for fucks sake, the fucker was actually being truthful. I couldn't believe it. Locker room talk is my favorite part of the fucking day." He murmurs, almost to himself and Clary was still pissed off.
"You spied on me, Jon." She said, giving him a look and a realization dawned on him. His lips thinned and he winced.
"Okay . . . yeah, but you weren't like . . . naked, Clare." He blurted and she continued to just stare.
"That doesn't fucking matter, you spied, that's an invasion of trust and privacy. And it's wrong in regards to Jace. What he told me, you weren't meant to fucking know." Oh yes, she was pissed.
"Okay, I see we're protective of the wonderful white knight." Jon hissed, not liking it. Clary moved so fast and her hand collided with the side of his face.
"Jace is my friend. I don't know why and it scares the living shit out of me, but you will be nice and I swear to god, Jonathon Christopher Morgenstern, if you in anyway use the information you know about him wrongly, I will never speak to you again. Call my motherfucking bluff, brother." Clary shoved past him and back into the restaurant. He didn't follow her. She wasn't surprised.
•••
"Are you hungry?" Jace whispered in her ear and she shook her head. He frowned, but nodded. She slumped back against the booth and just as the waitress disappeared with everyone's order, she was dosed with a bunch of glitter. She glanced down at her chest that were covered in silver, shiny flecks and her sweater that it was sticking to.
She looked up to see Magnus innocently typing on his phone. She leaned forward and Magnus didn't react. She looked over to see Izzy, covering her mouth. Jace was outright laughing his ass off right next to her and Alec was smirking. Magnus, however, was calm and innocent. She kicked him under the table and he looked up.
"Yes, dear red?" He asked and she motioned toward her chest.
"That is a very nice pair of boobs; natural?" He asked and her lips parted, while Jace choked on his laughter, going into a full blown coughing fit. Clary nodded dismissively and then motioned to her chest and glitter again.
"Uh, 32C?" He questioned and her lips parted, okay, she had absolutely no idea how he knew that, but she didn't really care.
She glared at him and he sighed, "Glitter makes everything better and you looked down, so I thought, why not sprinkle her with some of my magic? Duh!" Magnus exclaimed and Clary's lips twitched.
"Did I get it into your bra? Because Jace could help you get it out." Magnus said.
"Magnus." Jace's voice was warning and Magnus shrugged innocently.
He did get it into her bra, but she wasn't about to admit that. "Clary." Izzy murmured and Clary looked over.
"I was just wondering . . . you know, if you could come over to my place Friday and help with the whole face paint thing. Magnus is a good artist and he could help you, but I really want you to do it. What do you say?" Izzy asked, bouncing in her seat. Clary stared at her, blinking a few times.
Then she nodded slowly and Izzy squealed, launching herself over Jace and hugging Clary, "Awesome, then you can sleep over and join us at Pandemonium. During the day we can go shopping and then we can get ready together. It's going to be awesome!" She squealed and Clary frowned.
"Pandemonium is a club." Jace confirmed and Clary frowned deeper, before shaking her head.
"Oh no! It's all ages, club, safe swear." Izzy nodded quickly and Clary didn't look like she believed her.
"We'll be there." Alec said, giving his sister a warning look.
"Shit happens, but it's not that bad." Magnus waved his hand and Clary shifted her weight, before smiling with a nod. She didn't want to go, but she did want to spend time with Izzy. So, she would go. For Izzy.
"Yay!" Izzy sat back and the food was put down in front of them. Clary took in a deep breath before glancing over at Jace's coconut pancakes. They did look really good. She stared down at Jon's coke, a guilt hit her stomach. What was she doing? She didn't know these people or at least she hadn't known them for a long time. Jon was her brother. Her protector. And she'd chosen them over him . . . no, she sighed, she'd chosen all of it. Jon would get over it.
Jace had cut his pancakes in half and piled one half on a separate plate, before getting rid of his bacon and setting it down right in front of Clary, "Eat, oh and you have to use the warm syrup, not a lot, just enough." He said with an affirmative nod. Clary glanced up, to see Izzy grinning at her dish, sharing a look with Alec and Magnus. Oh boy.