At breakfast the next day, Blink and David discovered the food wasn't poison. Spot discovered the same, although he didn't care, as he was so tough he was bound to be immune anyway. Race's stomach won over his fear of poison, and Skittery ate the exact same foods after so he could pick poison free ones. Race's stomach felt so happy that it was full, we doubt it would've even noticed the anthrax, anyway. Les didn't care, being near ten. Jack was still too freaked out to eat anything.
They were all handed schedules; Race and Skittery by a large green woman covered in dirt, Jack and Les by the woman who shot the terrible tree, Spot by a guy who looked like he needed a good lather, rinse, repeat, and David and Blink by a really short person who was humming under his breath.
All of these schedules were intricately detailed. All of these schedules were tossed into the bin.
For their first period 'class' (in which Race, Skittery, David, and Blink were supposed to be in 'Herbology' and Jack, Les and Spot were supposed to be in 'Charms' ('I got enough of that anyway' Jack scoffed. Spot did too. Race could use some.)) the newsies ran through the halls, jumping and kicking and flipping and whooping like Indians.
On the third floor (after narrowly escaping what could have been a disaster on the moving stairs *cough*Jack*cough*), the guy who looked like he needed a good lather, rinse, repeat came out of a classroom, his cloak and nostrils billowing.
"What-is-this-rumpus?" he said in a nasally voice.
Jack pointed to his left, where no one was standing. "He started it."
"Detention. Ten points from –" He paused and did a quick head count. "Ten points from Gryffindor, ten points from Gryffindor, ten points from Hufflepuff, ten points from Hufflepuff, ten points from Ravenclaw, ten points from Ravenclaw, and –" he paused for dramatic effect, because only Spot was left, "ten points from Gryffindor," he finished with a flourish, flourishing his robes as he swept back into his classroom.
"Well, that sucked," Jack supplied.
"On the contrary, I found it to be hilarious," Spot said.
"Oh, yea. Really witty," Blink scoffed.
"He was real hoity toity," Les piped up.
Their detention was served in the classroom the guy who looked like he needed a good lather, rinse, repeat taught in. His name was Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.
Besides the seven newsies, the black haired kid with the stupid scar and huge glasses was there. He had apparently talked sass to Snape, and was landed here, despite his many party invitations. (There were many of those.)
David, of course, was weeping in the corner while his hands argued with each other. "DETENTION!" he wailed. "I'LL NEVER GET INTO MIT NOW!"
The rest of the newsies ignored him. The Snape Man glided over and smacked him in the back of the head. David shut up.
The hairy potter grumbled on an on about Snape, the Malfoy kid spot didn't like, his ex girlfriend that Spot did like, his new love in the cute redhead chick Jack knew, and on top of all that, coaching Quidditch tryouts. All of the newsies were bored to tears listening to him. Jack was rapt in wonder. And awe.
"Wait, Quidditch? Like flying on brooms and scoring with Quaffles and avoiding Bludgers and catching Snitches?" Jack said with interest.
Race shrieked. "JACK'S TRYING TO PUT A SPELL ON US!"
The hairy potter eyed Race warily. "Yes, exactly like that," he said to Jack.
"I'm going to try out," Jack said loudly.
The hairy potter rolled his eyes. "Good luck. No first year has gotten in since… well, me!"
"Thanks!" Jack said, smiling broadly.
The Snape Man came in and dismissed them all. "Five points from Gryffindor," he said as they left.
"Wha…" Jack started to say.
The hairy potter waved him off. "Don't worry, it's just me."
Since they had gotten in trouble for skipping class, David forced them all into going to their classes. The first of which was taught by the Snape Man. Defense against the Dark Arts.
The idea of needing defending against dark arts freaked some of the newsies (Race) (Jack) (Skittery) out more than they cared to let on. Also, they had to sit at tables with eleven year olds. For Les, it was fine. For the others, it was humiliating. Especially since they had to sit in front and all the other students complained about not being able to see. Except the kid behind Race.
"Silence," Snape Man said.
There was silence. Race was absolutely positive it was because Snape Man had put a spell on them to make it so. That is, until Les sneezed.
"Today, you shall be learning the great art of the most difficult spell first years can ever hope to accomplish," Snape Man said dramatically. His cold black eyes swept the room, taking time to dwell intimidatingly on the newsies. "Dear me, they have raised the standards, haven't they?"
"I think he's insulting us," Skittery whispered to the room at large.
There was silence as Snape Man stared Skittery down. Then Skittery made a small, squeaky "eep"ish noise and VANISHED.
"O – M – G!" Race yelled. "THE CARNIVOROUS SNAPE MAN'S EYES VAPORIZED SKITTERY!"
With a faint pop, Skittery reappeared, shaking from head to toe.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Snape Man said loftily. "Turn to page three hundred and ninety four."
"The book only goes to page two hundred and seventy six," David said automatically.
Blink stared at him. "How could you possibly know that?"
"We don't even have the book!" Race said indignantly.
"What is this rumpus about not having a book?" Snape Man said dramatically, gliding up in a rather Snake Man-ish way.
David looked straight ahead at the black board, determined not to be vaporized. "We don't have any supplies, sir," he said bravely.
"Why?" The word was drawn out by Snape Man's Snake Man-ish tongue. It was rather creepy.
"Well, we didn't exactly know we'd be coming here…"
"No excuse." Snape Man's nostrils flared. "Turn to page three hundred and ninety four."
The newsies shrugged at each other and mimed turning three hundred and ninety dour pages. Spot was the only one smart enough to turn three hundred and ninety four pages at once (but he nearly broke his desk doing it).
"Flippendo!" Snape Man said dramatically. "The magical art of magical art that is Flippendo! It's great, wondrous, iridescent qualities that make it so luscious are…"
"What is Flippendo, exactly?" Spot interrupted.
Snape Man paused. "Anything, really. You just point your wand at something, and FLIPPENDO!"
He made Jack's head increase dramatically in size, Race's hidden aces fly out of his mouth, and David's hair stand straight up with one flick of his wand.
"Wow!" the newsies gasped in unison.
As an experiment, Spot pulled a nail from his desk and jabbed it into Jack's head. Instead of it cutting through flesh and blood, Jack's head POPPED like a balloon and zoomed around the room, deflating helium. It landed on Snape Man's head, then vanished. At the same time, Jack's neck (previously headless) grew another one.
"Whoah, that was so cool!" Jack burst out. "Talk about an out of body experience!" Then he wrinkled his nose. "Except being on Snape Man's head. Really, duded, I got two words for you. Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
"And I have two for you. Detention," Snape Man said silkily. "Back to Flippendo…"
The newsies failed that class miserably. Not only had they failed to perform Flippendo, brandishing invisible wands, but Jack had earned himself seventeen more detentions. Eleven of them for the same reason.
Don't you just love snow days? I finally have the time to do this!