His lips were still so soft. His lips barely brushed against mine before he pulled away, fingers still cupping my chin. His forehead rested against mine and we exchanged breaths. My eyes were closed and I reveled in this intimacy that I had missed for a whole decade, but then I remembered who I was. Who he was. What he had done. And I pulled back, just enough to gather my wits.
"What... was that?" I was breathing hard, still rather dizzy from the whirlwind of emotions that swept from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head.
"It... it was me saying I am so sorry. Oh god Clary, I am so sorry," his whispery voice was still hoarse and choked with tears. They were streaming down both of our faces.
No. I backed up and turned away from him, my lips still tingling. No, concentrate, focus focus FOCUS. I screamed internally.
"Jace, I don't know..." I cursed myself for my inability to articulate like he could. He came around so we were once again face-to-face.
"Clary I am so sorry. When Sebastian," my face paled at the name, "told me you had cheated on me, I was so angry. My parents had just been murdered and I needed you there for me." He choked up.
"And I would have been!" I whispered back, a fresh round of tears streaming down my face as I remembered how much it broke him to loose his parents.
"I know. I know. I was so self-centered I couldn't see through my own depression to see what I was doing to other people. I realize that now." He looked at my bare arms holding up that sheet. They were bruised in the shapes of fingers. All the way up and down. Where they weren't bruised, they were scarred or scabbed. He ran his fingers up and down my arms, in the gentlest whisper of a touch. I still got goose bumps from his touch. He looked like he wished he was dead, and that scared me.
"Jace, I was angry earlier and I am sorry but this isn't your fault." He tried to speak but I put my finger over his lips. "Jace, I am not angry at you for this. This is what I have tried to avoid telling you over the past decade." He winced when I once again unknowingly reminded him of how long this had been going on. "I am angry for what YOU did to me. Ignoring me and hurting me." His head hung in shame. "But you have to understand something." I pulled on his chin like he had done to me, not moments before. "I still forgive you." He jumped a bit in surprise. "Yea. As crazy as you may think it sounds, how could I stay mad at you? You got me through all those years." He had some doubt in his eyes. "The thought that you were safe. The knowledge that you were safe from him" I swallowed around this large knot in my throat, "kept me fighting. You kept me fighting." I swallowed again, a tear slipping out of my eyes. But this one wasn't of sadness. I was happy he was here. Finally.
He looked at me and still looked disgusted with himself.
"I still love you Jace. I always will." My smile grew wider when he once again leaned forward to lay his forhead on mine.
"What have I done to deserve you?"
"You saved me." And then, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his, pouring all of the love I felt into that one kiss. It grew heated but when he tried to put his hands on my waist I gasped, the sharp pain of the burn still present. He broke away from me and looked at my back. His fists tightened with anger.
"Please. Can I see what that bastard has done to you?"
"Jace, I don't think thats a good idea." I said weekly, knowing that he would see my body and think it ugly. He took a gently hold of my neck and kisses me, silencing my protests. He grabbed the sheet from my hand, and started to pull. I whimpered a bit and he stopped, putting both hands to my neck. A few minuets later, he pulled again, and I gave in. I let him pull away the sheet and he just kept on kissing me. I put my hands to his that rested on my neck gratefully. He slowed the kiss and looked up and down my body. He backed away and I put my arms over my chest, self-conscious of my ugly body. He gently grabbed my hands and pulled them away, kissing me chastely one more time.
"You are beautiful. I just need to see what he did to you. Okay?" With my eyes closed, I just nodded. He circled around me and saw all of the bruises and all of the scars I had from the past decade. There was silence for a while so I turned around so see him barely containing himself.
"I will kill him. I will cut his nuts off and put a bullet through his fucking head for this.
HEY GUYS SO I KNOW THAT I HAVENT PUT AN AUTHORS NOTE FOR A WHILE SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY A FEW THINGS. SMALL CHAPTER, SORRY JUST WANTED TO GET THIS UP THERE SO I CAN ENJOY THE REST OF MY WEEKEND WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT THIS.
REVIEWS ARE LOVELY GIFTS OF LOVE SO LEAVE THEM PLEASE!
POST THINGS ON FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM OR TUMBLR OR SOMETHING TO GET THIS STORY A FEW MORE FOLLOWERS OKAY?
ALSO, I AM NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT TO PUT SOME CITRUS IN THIS STORY. COMMENT BELOW ON YOUR OPINION! OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE CLACE AND IT WOULD NOT BE CRUDE OR NASTY, BUT SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL THIS COUPLE MADE TOGETHER. SO YEA.
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