A/N:Hello its renai again, haha. Ok I just want to explain the timeline a bit, chap 2 is ritsus life which leads to now and now is chap1. Chap 3 is a little bit before chap 1. Get it? Ok just ask me if youre confused, I was kind of worried about this. Ok that was long…sorry, and for gods sakes please read on~~

Five years. It's been five years since I decided to be Shins wife. Seriously, sometimes I forget that I was ever a guy, that I'm Ritsu not Riko. I feel like I'm losing myself, that I'm slowly forgetting who I used to be before all of this happened. Every time I looked at my reflection, I would see someone else. Long silky oak brown hair, glittering emerald orbs, white powdered face and lips red with lipstick, who was this?

I was already used to wearing those elaborate and colourful kimonos Riko loved to wear, but I still missed my simple yukatas. I rarely smile now, oh yes, in front of Shin I would fix that fake, bright smile on my face but it was all too obvious. Everyone knows how much I detest and loath him. They would all pretend that we were a happy couple, while my 'husband' would invite male 'guests' to accompany him for the night behind my back. Not that I mind, if he didn't touch me then I was only too happy. He could fuck anybody he wants as long as he doesn't have his dirty hands on me. I even flinched when he kissed me on our marriage.

I heard rumours now and then. 'The Wilted Lily' they call me and the reason was ( by the rumours anyway) is that the once beautiful and graceful princess now only holds fake smiles and strained laughter. There was another reason though. One day, one of the servants caught me walking by the lily pond outside. That time I was thinking about the past, when my family was still alive, when I wasn't so alone…..and how I wouldn't be here if I was with them. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I stared at the beautiful pond covered with lily pads. Suddenly I heard a stifled gasp somewhere behind me and thinking that someone had caught me. I quickly ran to the palace, praying that the emperor would not find out that I had snuck out of the palace.

The next day though, that weird rumour came out and, according to Saeki-san, the servant that saw me said that I looked so sad and beautiful that she couldn't help but gasp. Hah, I couldn't care less anyway.

By each passing day, hopes of me escaping dimmed and I wondered if I'm ever going to leave this place. I wasn't really fond of the idea of being a woman for the rest of my life.

Taxes were increasing every year and I know my people were suffering even though I was always stuck in the palace. Nothing escapes the palace walls anyway.

Then when I thought all hope seems lost, hope came again in the shape of, ironically, vicious marauding pirates.

"Pirates?! What do you mean? Why would they attack us?"

We were huddled up inside one of the small in the palace. After Saeki-san had pushed me out of my room we decided to stay in a temporary safe place so we could talk about what we were going to do next.

"I don't know!" Saeki-san whispered in exasperation.

Why was she whispering? I could barely hear my own voice through all the chaos outside. Gun shots rang while battle cries were shouted through the clashing of katanas and cutlasses. It was an all-out war out there.

"The only thing we should do now," she continued, her tone serious, "is staying alive. We have to follow the Emperor, his carriage is already on the way out of here. If we follow him we might-"

"What?!"I looked at her incredulously. She can't be serious. "Follow him? He's the reason we're here in the first place!"

I knew it. I could feel it sometimes by looking at her face. She was happy with the life she had now. No. She wasn't following the Emperor and leaving me, she was just relieved that she had survived the first onslaught* and I could tell that she wasn't prepare to risk her life on the second. I couldn't blame her everybody wants to be alive. But I had a duty.

"Ah, but Rik- I mean Ritsu-sama, I-we, have to go out of here, we might d-"

"No." I stated with resolution. She opened her mouth to say something but I cut her off.

"I'll stay here. Saeki-san, don't worry, the pirates won't get me." That was a lie of course," you go with the Emperor and tell him you couldn't find me. I'll hide somewhere until all of this die down." Yeah, if only it was that easy…..

"But Ritsu-sama! I can't leave you here!" she looked at me with panic in her eyes, "I can't leave you here!" she tugged my arm, desperate to persuade me to join her. But I can't. "Come on Ritsu-sama, come with me…."

Hah, I knew this was going to happen.

I glared at her and mustering all the drop of authority I had in my tone, I said," Saeki-san, I am your Prince and the last descendant of the Onodera clan, are you going to disobey me?"

When she ducked down at my voice, I almost felt guilty, but I knew I had to do it.

Sighing she gave me a whispered "ok". Then she clasped my hands close to hers and looked at me eye to eye, and said," Just promise me that you will stay out of trouble and be safe."

Haha, geez Saeki-san you sound like my mom….

I blocked out the desperate tone of her voice, I had time to cry later, but not now.

When we parted, we both knew that that promise wasn't going to stay unbroken forever.

He stared at the empty throne, breathing heavily, hands that were gripping a cutlass dripping with blood shaking slightly.

Where?

He gritted his teeth, not caring that he accidentally bit his tongue in the process.

The bastards not here…

He spat the blood at the floor, then turning to Yokozawa who was currently shooting at the guards streaming through the doors, he barked," Yokozawa! He's not fucking here!"

"Yeah I know!" Yokozawa shouted back, glancing quickly at Takano, he continued, "Mino said he saw a carriage miles from here," after shooting the last men dead, he looked worriedly at Takano.

"I'm sorry Takano, we were too late."

Takano roared in anger, rage taking hold of his mind. He stabbed the wooden throne with his cutlass multiple times, spraying the blood still fresh on the sword at the chair and on him, but he didn't care. Stabbing where a certain Emperor should have been sitting.

That bastard stole the most important thing in my life from me!

When the sword was stuck tight at the chair, he took out his gun and proceeded to shoot the wooden throne to shreds. Shots rang through the dark throne room, and after that was a silence so thick it was almost suffocating.

Because of him Ritsu is…

Ritsu was….

Ritsu….

He couldn't finish the sentence, he was afraid that if he did, then he might just die too.

Well, after I bid Saeki-san farewell, I quickly thought of a plan of action. That's right. After this I would avoid the pirates, soldiers, anyone getting in my basically, grab Misaki, and get the hell out of here and find somewhere to hide. But before that I just had one little thing that I need to do…..

"Where is it?" I whispered. I was in the Emperors room, currently digging through his jewellery box. I know I couldn't leave without it, it was the only thing that was, well, mine. All the other things were either Rikos or gifts from the Emperor.

"Ahah!" I exclaimed, feeling the familiar material at my hand. Carefully pulling it out so as to not damage it, I gazed fondly at the ancient necklace. I brushed off the dust on the lustrous emerald stone of the necklace. The deep green colour giving me the picture of evergreen leaves in the forest in which I used to play with Riko. Fingering the intricate silver gilded chains of the necklace, I slowly put it over my head. I carefully tucked in the emerald necklace in my kimono, feeling the cool heavy surface of the green stone on my skin.

Eh, you bought this for me? But isn't this kind of thing for women…..?

It's okay, it suits your eyes.

Yes. I remembered somebody had given it to me, but for the life of me could not remember exactly who. Was it, Masa…Masa…Masato?

Argh, whatever. I remembered though, how I almost shouted back at Shin for taking it away from me. I didn't know why, but for some reason, I felt….safe with the necklace. Hah, I wish I knew who gave it to me.

"It's like some freaking donut hole*" I murmured.

Suddenly I heard footsteps coming from outside and they sounded like they were coming here really fast, I quickly looked around for somewhere to hide and spotted a huge wardrobe at the corner of the room. Pulling my kimono up so as to not trip, I ran quickly to the wardrobe. Then crawling inside, I quietly closed the wardrobe just as the door to the room opened.

It was stuffy inside, who knew Shin had so many outfits? I hold my breath, sweat forming down my back and my heart banging in my chest as I strained to hear the muffled voices outside. Pushing the wardrobe open a little, I peeked through the gap and saw two figures walking through the room.

One of them had blonde hair while the other was raven haired, I couldn't see their faces clearly but I could hear them prattling on like little kids. But that wasn't the reason why my blood suddenly ran cold.

They were pirates.

How did I know? Well if the clothing and cutlasses didn't put it off, what they were saying certainly did.

"Oi, Kisa! Why did you brought me here with you?" the blonde hissed.

The ravenette grinned before answering, "Ah, come now Shinobu-kun, you don't want to be a cabin boy forever don't you? I'm here to teach how to be a real pirate!"

The dust was really getting to me now, guh, it's really stuffy in here.

"Besides," the ravenette continued, "If we get caught taking our own booty, I'm not the only one getting the blame yes?"

"What?!" the blond eyes widened in shock," you know what Yokozawa would do if we don't share the booty right? He'll kill us!"

The ravenette only laughed at this and said, "Come on Shinobu-kun, you start over there and search for any valuable things and quick so they won't notice we're gone," then he grinned," and act like a pirate while you're at it!"

Are these guys idiots? I could feel an itch at my nose now. I quickly pinched my nose, to block the dust out. Oh no, please not now, don't sneeze now, please…

"Fucking pirate, "the blond muttered while throwing everything in the jewellery box in a sack. "Argh, fine….."

The dust was really getting to me now. I could feel the itch in my nose growing, it was only a matter of time before it reaches its peak. I shut my mouth, willing for my body not to sneeze, not now, not here. But it did.

"Yo~ho~ho-hold the fuck up!" the blond was singing before he heard something shift somewhere at the corner of the room.

"Kisa?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Somebody's here."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Who's there?!" the ravenette barked.

Why did I have to sneeze, why now? I couldn't go anywhere else, and they're definitely going to search the whole room for me.

I was horribly and painfully stuck.

Dust raised as the horses hoofs struck the ground, along with their burden, the carriage behind it. Voice as cold as ice broke through the silence, eyes as cold as his voice gazed outside of the carriage, his face though, held a cynical smile, "Ah pity, quite liked that place,"

"Haitani-sama, are you sure about leaving Onodera-sama behind? I mean she is your wife right?"

This man who had said this was one of the guards. He was new to the job. He was also new to being kicked out of a moving vehicle without any warning. If he had not asked that question he might have kept his job longer.

The Emperor smiled widely, seeing the man rolling on the dirt after being thrown out of the carriage.

That woman? She was better of dead, I didn't even remember her first name…hahahah

Haitani Shin looked to the north where his army was waiting for him. He chuckled to himself. Yes, he would come back here and take back what was rightfully his.

*this was when Haitani invaded them.

*hmmm.. this is actually based on a song, Donut Hole sang by Gumi and made by HACHI. In the song it says that,

"It's just like the hole in a donut

like trying to isolate that hole:

Proving you were really here

is something I can never do"

the narrator is comparing the fact that he can't remember the person's to the hole in a donut; the hole in the donut represents the person. there's no way to prove there was anything there in a hole of a donut to begin with, just like how he can't prove that the person he's trying to think of even existed, because, in the song, he can't even remember what they look like, their name, or what they did that made the narrator happy. sorry if that's a bit confusing, but that's about how well i can explain it.

Explanation was brought to you by tachola! Cuz I suck at explaining….

Urgh now I feel like donuts….

Hmmmmmmm, not much happening here… but next chap, our star crossed lovers will finally meet so stay tune~

Thank you for all of you who had review! I lurv you guys soooooo much!

So share your thoughts! And please Review! They'll be donuts!