I have decided to hide the result of the poll, so you'll just have to look very carefully at each girl to see who Zer0 goes with. This chapter will involve some Handsome Jack-ness, a new student, some Seg/ Zer0 master apprentice friendship, some TORGUE-NESS EXPLOSIONS!, and HOLY MOTHER OF THE DIVIDE! I'M ACTUALLY UPDATING THIS!

*Zer0 appears holding his katana at my throat*

*I gulp but is saved by a tackle from Segador.*

*Bloodwing flies in and squawks.* KA! Translation.: DiosSegador9898 doesn't own Borderlands 2. If he did, Angel would've still lived and and there would be MORE EXPLOSIONS!

Mordecai opened his eyes and looked around the room. At first he didn't know where he was and why he was so sore, but then remembered what the heck happened yesterday. He groaned, then realized he didn't have his mask on. He looked around and saw his mask was on the counter. He reached over and grabbed it. He used one hand to hold up his hair, while he used the other to tie the mask on. He looked around and saw that the bed Roland was sleeping in last night was empty. He groaned and got up. As soon as he did, Bloodwing flew from an open window and landed on his banded shoulder.

"Hey Bloodwing? How ya doin?" Mordecai asked his faithful companion. Bloodwing cawed in response. Mordecai just chuckled, then looked around for his boots. He put them on and walked over to the door where he hoped would lead him to his friends. He opened it and saw it did... among other things. When he walked out the door, he saw everyone sitting in a huge table, or collections of table pressed, glued, or welded together. While some of his friends were eating, others were occupied with other things. And when I mean occupied I mean little wars that involve a soldier and a commando arguing which turret was better. A gunzerker and BERserker yelling at each other on who's the strongest. And an a silent assassin taking people's food whenever they weren't looking. Mordecai was flabbergast to say the least, and Bloodwing had his (or her?) beak gaping open. Mostly at the food on the table. And without further ado, flew and took a plate of something that Zer0 was about to take.

Everyone jumped back in a surprise at the sudden appearance of Pandora's most notorious midget killing machine. Bloodwing however just started ripping away at what ever the plate of something was.

"Uh, good morning?" Mordecai said reluctantly

"Glad to see you up soldier." Roland said in usual military form. Axton just gave him a mock salute.

"Morning." Maya and Lilith chorused together. Gaige waved her mechanical arm and accidentally summoned Death Trap, who surprisingly also waved like his (or her?) creator. Zer0 nodded his head in greeting, as did Brick and Salvador.

"So, is there any breakfast left? Or has Zer0 and Bloodwing eaten it all?" Mordecai asked. Everyone was about to question what he meant, then looked down and most of them saw a good portion of their food had been eaten. They all looked towards Zer0 who had a exclamation point over his face. Then disappeared. The assassin knew when he should run. They all sighed then Brick announced he was going to cook some more food. This confused Mordecai. He was about to ask, but Axton stopped him.

"Trust me, the less you know about it, the longer you'll live." Axton said, and Mordecai buried the question.

"So." Mordecai started grabbing a chair and sitting down. "What are we going to do with the loot we got from yesterday?"

"Well for starters. We need to get everyone proper gear." Roland said. "Everyone can't be using borrowed gear from each other." Everyone nodded at his suggestion. "We'll do it after "school"." Then Brick came in wearing an unusually pink apron saying KISS MY FIST! and a plate full of skag bacon, and rakk eggs. Mordecai didn't know whether to laugh, salivate, or cower in fear at the sight before him. It was both scary, funny, and appetizing! (The bacon was. This is a completely straight fic.)

"Say anything and you're dead slab." Brick said darkly. Mordecai quickly stowed whatever he was about to say, and Brick put food on everyone's plate's. So after Zer0 appeared and everyone rolled their eyes at the assassin. They soon finished up breakfast and cleaned. Right now they were waiting for the suicidal bus driver Marcus to show up.

"He should be hear by now?" Maya said looking at her blue watch on her wrist. No sooner as she said that the familiar yellow bus with a rather large dust cloud following behind pulled up. The dust cloud passed right over the group. They all coughed.

"How fast did he go/ How is he a bus driver/ This is worse than Gaige." Zer0 said in haiku. Which caused him to get a slap from said mechromancer.

"All aboard the semi-functioning vehicle!" Marcus yelled in his accent. The soon-to-be-vault-hunters climbed in and strapped into their seats. They all prayed to whatever god was out their, as where the poor schmuks who were stuck in the bus in the beginning of the ride. Marcus closed the door after all the vault hunters entered and floored it. Someone let out an undignified scream as the yellow death trap speeded through the harsh dust caked road of Pandora to the school.

After several minutes of profanities being yelled, some hair raising turns, and a few "accidental" road kills, the yellow death trap that Marcus drove slowly screeched to a halt as all the students tumbled out of the bus. One psycho even hurled on the side walk.

"How is he a bus driver!" Lilith yelled trying to stand up straight, but the world to her kept on spinning.

"I don't know." Roland answered leaning against a wall to steady himself. Everyone else wasn't doing much better. Zer0 was sitting cross legged a big WTF over his mask. Salvador and Brick were swaying like they were drunk. Axton and Maya were trying to hold in their break fast like Lilith, and Gaige's head wouldn't stop spinning. After several minutes of nausea the group finally got better. They were able to get their first class. And the first thing that they saw in sharp shooting was a VERY large man being restrained by General Knoxx and Segador.

"C'MON MORE *BEEP* EXPLOSIONS!" the large man yelled the bleep censoring what he was about to say. And then to put money to his mouth a round of explosions exploded just under the feet of a few psychos poking at a dead bird.

"No Torgue." General Knoxx started holding the man, Torgue, in a full nelson. "Do that in your class mate. This is sharp shooting, not demolition!" Segador promplty decided to use the the steel handle of his sword to knock Torgue out. The seven all had sweat drops above their heads as they saw the rather comical transgression before them. Then their jaws dropped (or in Zer0's case an OMG) as Segador casually pulled the hulking man onto his shoulder and walked out of the room.

"Oh there are m students." General Knoxx said seeing the group.

"Who was that sir?" Roland asked.

"That. Is going to be your new teacher. Mister Torgue. Mister, strangely enough, being his first name." Gerneral Knoxx stated plainly.

"Wait. THE TORGUE!" Salvador and Brick said incredulously.

"Yes. The very one that manufactures Torgue brand explosive weapons. Apperantly Torgue owes Jack a favor, so Jack made Torgue work here. Why he asked an explosive addict like him I'll never get" Knoxx said shaking his head. Safe to say, at the word explosions the gunzerker and berserker were as giddy as school children waiting for his class to go to. Meanwhile to everyone were pretty much thinking the same thing. We're screwed!

One more thing before I-

Torgue: EXPLOSIONS! *I fly off when a large bomb exploded underneath me.*

I'M BACK *BEEP* -CHES!