A/N: Ok, so this chapter is admittedly a lot of back-and-forth that is more comedic insult battles than anything else, but I figured it would be best to get most of the characters re-introduced and give you a glimpse of their lives before things get heavy in the next chapter. Besides, it gives me a chance to get the characters' mindsets set up. Some of you may notice a heavy Gryffindor vs. Slytherin vibe here, and that's because I wanted to establish that while there is a tolerance between the houses at the moment, the biases against each other are not completely broken, which is something I plan to explore a bit as we get into the actual crossover. In closing, enjoy the fun character-driven chapter because things are going to start escalating soon!

P.S. If any of you are on Pottermore, I am user CrimsonSpell4214, assigned to Hufflepuff house. I'm still fairly new to it so if you want to friend me there, feel free. I'll probably be posting updates as to chapter progress there, so you can get a feel for how far along I am. Thanks to all you who are reviewing! I just got the chance to read through them, and the help is much appreciated.

Chapter 4: Faux Floo and Wizard Wheezes

"Unbelievable! Absolutely unbelievable!"

Severus Snape vented to himself in an empty restroom on the third floor of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. This had been an unusually frustrating day as his Healer training program was giving on-the-job training by having him try making diagnoses and then giving them to the actual healer to double-check.

This wouldn't be so bad, except that the people he kept getting had incredibly basic issues, and there had been no fewer than three who had showed up with 'faux Floo' injuries because they thought they could make their own homemade Floo powder.

Severus was one of the best in Britain when it came to potions, and even he didn't try to make his own Floo powder. Because of this, he was having a hard time keeping calm when people who clearly paid no attention in Potions class came in because they suddenly thought they could crack the code to Floo powder.

Was there an epidemic of people becoming reckless after the war the first time? Or have there just always been this many idiots anxious to avoid paying two sickles?

Thankfully, he didn't have to contemplate this any longer this morning. Today, he was supposed to meet Lily for lunch. Even after all these years, Lily was still able to lighten his mood. She was still the girl who brought out the best in him.

He quickly assessed himself in the mirror to make sure he looked alright, and then went to check himself out for his lunch break.

As Severus went back toward the lobby to inform his supervisor, he heard a familiar voice who he was not expecting to hear today.

"Oy Snape! There you are! Get over here!"

Severus turned around to see Sirius Black of all people in the waiting room of the first floor. He was standing with his new bride, both fresh from their honeymoon a few weeks back.

He went over and greeted them. "Hello Sirius. Petunia," nodding to his wife, who nodded back. "I haven't seen either of you in quite some time. I trust the honeymoon you took was relaxing?"

"Indeed it was, Snape. We had a great time… all kinds of fun," Sirius said as he leaned in and gave a big wink. Severus grimaced at this act, as he really had no desire to know any of what happened between Sirius and Petunia on that trip.

Thankfully, he wasn't the only one.

"Oh, honestly Sirius! I don't need my sister's husband knowing our most intimate details!" Petunia scolded.

"Fine, fine, fair point. Anyway, I know we have Evan's birthday coming up on Sunday so Petunia and I wanted to see what kind of help the Black family could provide for the party."

"Sirius likes to refer to us as 'the Black family' now because he likes to show off that he's married," Petunia explained while rolling her eyes, "though personally I think it's just because you like to stick it to your family at every opportunity with the fact that they're related to non-magical folk now."

"Can't there be multiple benefits to it?" Sirius posed innocently, prompting another eye roll from Petunia. "But honestly, I know Lily and you asked my dear wife for a little help, and I wanted to see if any other assistance is needed, seeing as he is my nephew now."

Severus still had to wrap his mind around that. The two people across from him had caused him so much grief in his first life, and even in this one they had had their run-ins. Now, though, not only were they on good terms, they were family. And even he had to admit these two were much different than the Sirius and Petunia he'd dealt with before.

Finally breaking from his musing, he said, "Nothing more will be necessary than what we requested from you. You are free to choose whatever desserts you'd like to bring, but Lily was clear in wanting a chocolate cake. The icing will be white with red trim on the outside, and the words 'Happy Birthday Evan' are to be written in pale green icing, symbolizing both Gryffindor and Slytherin."

That last clause drew the groan from Sirius that Severus was hoping for. "Do we really have to do that to your son? I really don't want to see him starting down the path of the surly, greasy git so early in his life."

"You know full well from our dueling sessions a few years back that Slytherin is just as capable of producing respectable wizards as any other house. Even the Head Girl this year is from the house."

"Yeah, fine. You've made your point."

"Well if it's all the same to the two of you, I have a lunch date with Lily that I intend to keep, so I will leave you to your shopping and see you on Sunday."

"We'll see you all then. Bye Severus," Petunia said. Sirius and Severus nodded and separated.

Now that that was taken care of, Severus began to make the walk a couple of blocks over to meet Lily.

Ginny apparated to Diagon Alley after breakfast and walked over to the newly refurbished Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. The joke shop had been on hiatus for the first few months after the war – mostly due to George not wanting to start up again without Fred – but it reopened just in time to sell to students preparing for the winter holiday.

Ron had taken up Fred's position in the store and was finally settling into the role of partner. He had even moved into the twins' old flat near the store with George. Hermione would most likely be by soon enough, so Ginny figured it was a good time to head in. Besides, she hadn't gotten much opportunity to talk to Ron and George without her very much since her time at Hogwarts ended.

The store looked as wild and whimsical as it did during its first run, although behind the counter now sat photos of the founders and scattered shots of all seven Weasley siblings together. The store had just opened a few minutes ago, so the store didn't have that many people in it yet. Ginny found George and Ron talking in the doorway separating the main floor from the back room and went over to them.

"Discussing what to get me for my birthday?" Ginny joked as she walked over.

"Oi Gin! You shouldn't be sneaking up on us. You might have found out about the loud, screeching rooster we're leaving for you that day… Oh, guess I ruined the surprise." George said.

"Very funny. So how is this place doing? Business must be up now that students can come by."

"You're right, Ginny. It's been a nice increase. They really seem to be enjoying our new merchandise." Ron said.

"We've actually hired a couple of people to work the register while we walk around to lend our expertise to the customers," George said.

"What? And you didn't think to ask me? I'd love the extra spending money."

"Why would we do that? You're leaving in a month and I know you won't want to work once Quidditch season starts. I still say you missed an opportunity by turning down Chudley, though," Ron said.

"Oh, you're just mad you won't get any free tickets to see them play… And that if I had signed, I'd have probably won them like six more games, bringing their win total up to, what, six?"

"HEY! Don't mock the Cannons! They have 21 titles."

"And in the time since their last one, a curse on the DADA teaching job has come and gone," George said, finding it amusing how easily Ginny can get Ron fired up.

"Oh, now you're taking her side?! We're supposed to be partners!"

"Honestly, Ron. Can't I ever walk into a conversation with you where you're not going on about something silly?" Hermione called from across the store.

"Hey Hermione! You're here early." Ron ran over to meet her and they kissed upon reaching each other, to which Ginny and George just turned around and waited for it to end.

"Well I knew Ginny was coming in today so I figured I'd take the chance to say hello to all of you."

"I was wondering when you'd finish up your grand tour of celebration. I can't believe your parents took you on a trip to New Zealand for finishing up at Hogwarts," Ginny said.

"Well when I sent them there after sixth year, they got really into life down in Oceania, so they wanted to take a look at the area again. If it wasn't such a distance, I swear they'd pick up and go there once my dad retired."

"So how was it?" Ron asked.

"I liked it. The climate was a lot cooler than I would have liked, but it's beautiful there. I understand the attraction to the area. So last time we talked, you told me your new workers weren't starting until next week. Will you all need any help?"

"Thanks, Hermione, but Ron and I have everything under control. You and Ginny can should head out and wait until lunch to come see…" Before George could finish the thought, though, a large group of about 10 kids walked in, and they knocked over two table displays in their mad dash.

"… On second thought, maybe you have a point. Are we going to do this or what?"

Hermione and Ginny smirked at each other and went to work at the cash registers while Ron and George went to maintain order throughout the store.

Ron and George had not expected any rushes this early in the summer, so they were glad to have Hermione and Ginny in place for the day. If Angelina Johnson hadn't gone with Katie Bell to visit Ireland, he'd have probably asked for a fifth pair of hands. Maybe they would have to re-open the application process.

But neither Weasley brother had time to consider that, as it was a nearly constant flow until closing time. George volunteered to lock up so that Ron could walk around outside with his sister and girlfriend.

"Well… that was a wild day," Ron said.

"I can't believe how excited your customers get for Muggle pranks and card tricks," Hermione said.

"I know! I don't see how a jar of peanut butter with a fake snake hidden inside managed to sell out faster than anything!" Ginny added.

"Well, it's the novelty really. And besides, snakes are really good for pranks. It's especially funny to see a Slytherin get scared by a snake," Ron grinned at that thought, and then sombered slightly. "Speaking of which, we'll be having a Slytherin working in our shop next week."

"Well that's not so bad. It's not like they were all bad," Ginny offered.

"I still don't trust anyone from that house. They all hid from the final battle and any Slytherin I've ever known, even when they were trying to 'help,' acted like a complete git. I only went along with George on hiring this one because he was probably the only applicant who appeared knowledgeable and willing to work."

"Maybe it's time to bury the hatchet, though, Ron," Hermione countered. "I mean, I definitely agree with you that we haven't really known any likeable Slytherins, but Harry seemed to think Draco and his mother were decent when they protected him."

"They were just protecting each other. And where even are they, anyway? Probably slunk off to Bulgaria or something…"

"Wait," Ginny interrupted, "you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Nothing."

"Do you know where they are?"

"No."

"Then why did you ask?"

"I didn't. You brought it up."

Ron threw up his hands and Ginny couldn't help but smirk a little. For years, she had been used to Harry sharing major information with Ron and Hermione only, so it was actually a new situation to know that Harry was confiding more in her than his two best friends. She beamed a little with pride knowing that their relationship had gotten this far along.

Ron was about to continue, but Hermione tugged on his arm with a degree of urgency. He looked down and saw she had taken out her old D.A. galleon, which was flashing a location. Based on the location, it didn't take any of the three a second thought to realize who was calling them over.

Harry was in danger at Godric's Hollow.