chiv-id: Hello again! Okay, I know that I've been updating really quickly, but I'm still excited on this! I also have to explain a few things: okay, to start off, the military loaned an abandoned warehouses facility to the Autobots that serves as their base. (This was set up by Captain Lennox himself) And this place is pretty huge...anyway, Ironhide, would you like to do the honors?

Ironhide: (snorts) Stupid human femm:

Disclaimer: chiv-id doesn't own Transformers, but she does own Leanna (shoots a few death glares now and then at chiv-id)

chiv-id: (sweatdrops) Well then...um...on with the chapter!

What It Means To Be Human

Chapter 3: Working at the Car Wash

"Hey, medic, wake up," said a gruff weapons specialist, poking the yellow bot's head with his cannon. He looked at the yellow medic who had taken a power-down at the desk, his feet up on the desk crossed with a pleased-looking (no, not that kind of pleased you sick perverts, you) female human on his chest near his spark. Likewise, Ratchet had his finger lightly placed on his patient's back, a small blue wave passing from his finger to his patient every so often, a subconscious scan that helped him monitor the health of the young girl on his chest.

"Hm…what is it?" asked the drowsy bot, his optics coming back glowing a dim blue to indicate that he was about to come on-line, "Oh, Ironhide, I see you've come to see Leanna…"

"Hmph, I didn't come to see her, I came to see if…if my guns were alright, I got entangled with Barricade, if you do not recall with that small thing you call a processor," Ironhide responded in defense, holding up his cannon, which was completely spotless and looked good as new.

"Mmm…" said a sleepy Leanna, waking a little to the sound of voices, but eventually snuggling closer to the medic's spark and went on sleeping.

"I see you have become more acquainted with your…patient…" Ironhide retaliated, a frown crossing his face, his optics zooming in a little on the small girl on his chest.

"Yes, and she's also helping me with my research," Ratchet commented, looking toward the monitor which still held the information he had typed up from the night before, "Due to her injuries, I've compiled new data on the human body and on the female side, nonetheless! Usually it is Sam who gets into these accidents and often injures himself, giving me much data on the male side, but Mikaela is much more level-headed. It is rare that she ever gets wounded or hurt, so this human girl is much like, as they say, a blessing from above." Leanna was now beginning to awaken due to Ratchet's rant on his "discoveries", yawning and looking up at Ratchet with her head up.

"Morning," she said with a smile and put her head back down in a daze, not noticing the black Autobot next to her living bed, stroking the metal absentmindedly near the medic's spark. Again, Ratchet shuddered a little but smiled knowing it was good-natured. Again, a frown crossed Ironhide's face, unnoticed to the medic or the girl.

"And a good morning to you, too, Miss Keyes, I see you've had a well-deserved rest," Ratchet responded back, nudging her with his finger, trying to keep her up.

"Alright, alright, I'm up," Leanna muttered, getting up from her comfortable position and stretching, showing the brace under her clothes, "Sorry I used you for a bed." She smiled sheepishly and stretched again, only to have pain shooting through her right side again, making her yelp and grab her side while falling back on the bot's chest. Ratchet quickly righted her and scanned, noticing that her cracked ribs were inflaming the muscles around her ribs which gave way to the green and now slightly red bruises under the brace.

"I would advise you not to move around much, it will cause you only more pain and soreness," Ratchet advised, his thumb lightly rubbing the material on the right side of her ribs to emphasis how serious he was.

"Alright, whatever you say, you're the man…er…bot…er…guy," she ended firmly, a little embarrassed at her mix-up. At this, Ratchet chuckled and put her on the ground, to which she noticed a set of black metallic feet.

"Oh, Ironhide, 'ts up?" greeted Leanna, remembering her promise to be more benevolent to the mate-less alien. Ironhide just looked at her suspiciously with his icy blue optics.

"Yesterday, you were rude and ungrateful…now, you are as happy as Sam is when Mikaela goes to the beach with him. What has transpired here?" questioned the suspicious black bot, looking to Ratchet for an explanation.

"Oh nothing…well, am I ready to go home or not, doc? If this wasn't summer, I'd be dead right now because my uncle would find out that I hadn't come to school and come to kill me," Leanna joked, looking up at the medic.

"I believe that you should stay here, but you may return to gather your belongings from your home. I believe that those ribs should be monitored for the time being until I say they're okay," Ratchet replies firmly, "And if you should need to go back to your home for your belongings, I am giving the responsibility of looking after you to Ironhide."

"Highly unlikely," the older bot snorted, making a sputtering noise from his exhaust, "Are you sure you have not given her something to make her this happy?" Ironhide eyed her and her bubbly attitude, Ratchet chuckling, remembering the promise as well.

"No, she's just happy to see you I must imagine, after all, it was you who saved her," to which Ironhide snorted again, but Leanna smiled even more brightly and sweetly.

"Please, I just need to get some clothes and some other stuff and I'll…I'll give you a wash if you drive me to my house and back, please! After all, if I have to stay here, I might as well grab some clothes for the time I'm here. Please!" Leanna looked at Ironhide with puppy-eyes and held her hands together in a pleading gesture. Ironhide snorted again, but consented. Leanna then promptly glomped his leg to which he tried to shake her off, but did it so with care. She unlatched herself and grinned, winking at Ratchet unbeknownst to Ironhide.

"For the love of Primus, I'd like to keep whatever that was to a minimum," a startled, but slightly pleased Ironhide, happy for the sudden gratitude. He changed into his GMC Topkick form and opened his door on the driver's side. She smiled and climbed in, but let Ironhide drive and she again winked secretly to Ratchet to signal that she was upholding her promise. Then they pulled out of the abandoned hangar and proceeded to go to her house, Ironhide using his navigation again to find her house while she snoozed a bit. Ironhide couldn't help but give a deep rumbling purr as she kept rubbing the leather in her seat, a sort of weird habit of hers that she's professed.

"Hey, femm, we're here," remarked Ironhide, half grumbling and half purring. She rubbed her eyes and nodded, getting up and out of the truck who was still somewhat in a daze and sat back on his shocks in content. Leanna searched through her things and found clothes that she wanted to bring along, and brought enough for a week. She really hoped it only took a week, at least.

"Alright, I have my stuff, including my hygiene products and whatever. I'm ready to go…Ironhide?" she poked his door which snapped him out of his reverie.

"Okay, okay," he replied roughly, his daze gone and became more alert, "Just…stop doing that thing you're doing…"

"You mean…the weird stroking thing I do whenever I sleep? Usually I have a pillow and I dream about my sister and being with her and stuff…and I always end the dream with stroking her head…sorry, I got so used to it, I usually just do it unconsciously most of the time. Sorry if I bothered you or anything," Leanna responded.

'God, I don't even know why I told him that, now it's going to be awkward…' Leanna reprimanded herself harshly in her mind, exactly predicting the silence throughout the whole trip. But Ironhide wasn't thinking that she was weird or anything, just that she dreamed about her loved ones, a somewhat similar feature that they both shared. He too dreamed of his life that could have been with Chromia, remembering the Southern Belle accent she used when he told her of the Earth's language to communicate in English. Ironhide remembered the sweet Chromia and put it in the back of his processor and proceeded to keep his mind focused on the road and the eventual defeat of the rest of the Decepticons who he swore to stamp out. Ironhide pulled into the lot of abandoned warehouses and Leanna got out.

"Thanks, 'Hide, I guess I owe you o-…wait! I remember now! Since you did this for me, I was supposed to give you a wash!" Leanna exclaimed, Ironhide transforming back into his bipedal form and remembered too that she had promised it, but had thought that she would forget…at least hoped that she would forget…

"I can clean myself, there is no-" Ironhide stopped as he saw Leanna wipe a finger across his leg panel and held it above her head for him to look. It was a grimy black, the same as his armor.

"I guess you think you can get away with not looking all dirty just because you have black armor? Don't think so, pal!" she yelled, hands on her hips with a smile on her face, "Never knew you didn't like baths that much Ironhide! Well, too bad because I'm going to make you face your worst fears!" Ironhide would have blanched if he could and instead just crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared down defiantly down at his human companion.

"And how would you make me take this 'bath' of which you speak, puny Femm?" dared Ironhide, smirking at Leanna's stumped and insulted expression.

"Well, I don't know…but you really do need a wash, just by this smear I can tell it's been a while and it's really not very appealing," Leanna remarked, crossing her own arms and pouting as she realized that she couldn't really force him.

"I have to agree with Miss Keyes, your smell is absolutely appalling," Ratchet chuckled, causing Ironhide to swivel about and glare at his comrade, "You'd do well with a new wash. What were you suggesting, Miss Keyes?"

"One, Miss Keyes is a little too formal, call me Lea or Leanna, but I like Lea. Second, I was thinking of a car wash. You've heard of one of those, right?" asked Leanna, seeing the confused expressions on her alien friends. It took a moment for them to search the web for the word car wash looked back at her own confused faces.

"Yes, I believe a car wash would be fine for this bot, shall I retrieve the water and the soap?" Ratchet had to laugh at the scowl that Ironhide flashed his way, "How about this, if you don't want a bath, I'll be glad to take your place. I myself believe that I have gained a considerable amount of dirt and am in need of a good wash as well."

"Well, I'd love for you to get the water, but I have the soap myself," Leanna told them, not hearing a word of the whispered latter of Ratchet's deal. Ironhide looked at Ratchet a bit and then contemplated, sighing a little and then agreeing, transforming back into his Topkick. Smiling in delight that she could do something to help Ironhide, she went to her bag to grab the soap and a little something extra that she thought would make it a little worthwhile. Ratchet himself had to laugh a little and retrieved the bin of water and saw that Leanna had changed from her sweat suit to something…a little more revealing.

"Alright, I just changed because I feel that it would be really weird if I do a car wash in a sweat suit," answered Leanna, knowing Ratchet's question from his face. She had a bikini top on, a dark chocolate brown that matched her skin tone and short jeans that went to the middle of her thighs. She was drop-dead gorgeous, but the two other Autobots didn't really mind…well at least Ratchet didn't.

"I am going to have human sweat on me…" Ironhide grumbled, seeing how much exposed skin there was.

"Oh stop complaining, it's not even hot out," Leanna scolded Ironhide as she grabbed the bin and put the soap in, picking up her sponge, "Now…let's see, I guess we should start on your hood, that's probably the worst…"

"Hey!" yelled back an insulted Ironhide, to which Leanna and Ratchet just looked back and laughed, "Stupid human femme…shut up, Ratchet, before I shove a titanium cannon up your after burner." Ratchet just kept chuckling to himself, knowing he wouldn't hurt him. Leanna brought the sponge over and began washing, and though he didn't want to at first, Ironhide felt that it was rather soothing and he felt a little brighter at the prospect of feeling clean again.

"Ironhide…did you leave your engine running?" Leanna asked with a raised eyebrow, her hand vibrating slightly on the now soapy and clean hood. Ratchet himself looked at Ironhide as he awaited his explanation, but wearing a big grin on his face knowing that the old bot was in fact purring.

"Yes…because if I see you start to put your filthy human sweat I'll drive away…" Ironhide muttered, realizing that he had purred without intention and ceased.

"You're too weird Ironhide," Leanna laughed, now washing the splattered-windshield, covered in mud and god knows what, "Maybe its your windshield, man. Seriously, you really haven't given yourself a good cleaning in a while…" Ironhide snorted again, not taking the insult and revving forward away from Leanna.

"He-hey! Wait, you're not done! Stop! Jesus Christ!" Leanna cursed, throwing down the soap and the sponge after trying to chase Ironhide who just kept driving away whenever she got too near, "Fine, clean yourself! After trying to be nice, you know, I thought that you'd be at least a little happier you emo truck!" With that, Leanna stomped away with Ratchet following her to calm down, Ironhide stopping his shenanigans and reversed to face her. Ironhide rethought his decision to tease Leanna.

'Hmm…she's got some temper,' Ironhide thought, slowly driving up to where Leanna and Ratchet were talking.

"No! I don't care, I try to be nice because I know he saved me and then he acts all emo on me! No, I don't think so! Ratchet, you can wash him if you like," Leanna snapped, turning on her foot and again stomping away to the hangar. Ratchet shook his head and then slapped a metal hand into his forehead as he saw Ironhide zoom forward to chase after Leanna. Ironhide quickly slid in front of Leanna as she was approaching the hangar doors.

"Oh hell no, don't start with me you emo truck!" Leanna said, speaking more like her father's side, "I ain't in the mood! No, I ain't gonna wash you! Hell no! Don't you be pushing me now!" Ironhide began forcefully driving into her, pushing her back to the bin of water and the soap and Ratchet who again was shaking his head as he saw his old friend's antics. Ironhide managed to push Leanna over to the bin and then slid right next to her, waiting for the wash and expected her to go through with it.

"Tch, I'm not dealing with this shit anymore, Ironhide. As I said before, wash yourself," Leanna replied back angrily, but as she tried to move around the truck, Ironhide caught her between his front and rear doors, trapping her with the bin connecting to the doors. Leanna glared angrily, but her gaze softened as he began to speak through his radio.

"I…I am sorry, Leanna…" Ironhide mumbled, "Please, continue, I will no longer cause trouble for you any further, just please…I am sorry…" Ratchet was surprised by his friend's sudden softness, knowing that he would normally just brush off the angry remarks and such and if given would indeed wash himself. Ratchet then thought of a theory and just smiled.

'So…opening up your heart again, Ironhide, my old friend? Just don't hurt Leanna…' thought Ratchet as he walked away and left the two alone.

"…Fine, you emo truck…just don't…don't do it again alright? If you make me chase you, you'll definitely have 'filthy human sweat' on you," Leanna joked softly, she herself was a bit surprised by the veteran truck's demeanor, "Well, I'm going to get started again, are you going to let me go?" Ironhide swung his rear door close to let her through, then closed his front door after she got out. Leanna picked up her sponge and proceeded to wash every nook and cranny she could get to. She considered going underneath, but felt that it would be awkward if she did. Finally, she finished up and pulled out a bottle of leather finisher (not really sure if that's what it's called, but its something that makes leather look and feel better…I think…not sure…).

"And that is…" Ironhide said suspiciously through his radio as she opened his driver's side door. Leanna just smiled and put some of the oily substance on the cloth she had handy and went at it. As soon as she rubbed the leather, Ironhide shuddered and she giggled a little.

"I'm guessing that you're pretty ticklish," Leanna giggled as she kept polishing the leather interior, "Sorry, but I promised to give you a wash, and when I give a car a wash, I do the inside, too." Of course, Ironhide didn't complain and thanked Primus that she hadn't really realized that it actually was a pretty pleasant feeling. He shuddered again as she did the leather divider, almost groaning. He kept himself in check though and just enjoyed the feeling of the leather polisher and the cloth. He wasn't just about to show that he actually liked the female human…wait did he just say liked the female human?

'I…I didn't think that! I never thought it!' Ironhide tried to mentally shake away the thoughts of possibly liking the female human, but it was no use. He had hopelessly become fond of the human femm (thought I was going to say love didn't ya, but nope). She then dried him off and wiped her forehead, standing back and looking at her work. Ironhide was spotless and absolutely dazzling, transforming into his bot form and looking at himself pleased.

"You're welcome," Leanna replied to the soon coming thank-you out of Ironhide, "Just tell me when you need another car wash and I'll be happy to do it for you, 'kay?" Ironhide nodded a bit and then turned to go to the hangar which left Leanna with the cleaning up. She just smiled and put everything away and lazily dumped the water on the ground where it would evaporate. Leanna then walked over to the hangar and overheard a little conversation that was going on.

"Hey, Ironhide, I see Leanna did a job well-done," complimented Ratchet, looking over Ironhide and practically shielding himself from the glare off of Ironhide's shining exterior.

"Yes, I have never seen you as clean as you are now Ironhide," Optimus commented before going back to work on searching for Barricade on his scanners. Bumblebee could talk, but enjoyed using his radio more and played a song that had everyone reeling: "I'm Too Sexy".

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt," the song played out in humor from Bumblebee's radio and everyone laughed while telling him to turn it off. Then Leanna walked in smiling and laughing a little, too.

"Okay, who played the 'sexy' song?" giggled Leanna, leaning against Ironhide's polished leg. Sam seemed to stare at Leanna and Mikaela whapped him on the head while coming over to congratulate Leanna.

"I've never seen Ironhide look so clean!" Mikaela said to Leanna with a smile, "Or you using the bathing suit I gave to you two years ago! Is there someone you want to impress or something? Usually you just wear a tank top and jeans."

"No…I-I wasn't trying to impress anyone Mikaela! I just figured that…that…er…okay, I got nothing..." Leanna tried to explain, but ended up failing, "I just felt like wearing it, okay?" Mikaela smiled a small smile and hugged her.

"I'm glad you're finally showing off your curves! You've even got Sam drooling!" Mikaela giggled as she drew back and pointed to Sam who just looked a bit insulted, "While you're in that, I figured that we could go to the beach today! Wanna come?" Leanna looked over at Sam and realized by what Ironhide meant by how happy Sam would be when Mikaela agreed to go the beach with him. Sam had a nervously big grin, fidgeting a little and Leanna knew it was because Mikaela looked hot in her bathing suit. Leanna nodded and waved back to the other Autobots as Mikaela dragged her over to Bumblebee, who was in his Camaro form.

"OH MY GOD! A 2009 Chevrolet Camero!!! I can't believe you didn't tell you had one of those!" Leanna screamed, practically running over and hugging the car, "Will you let me drive?" Leanna made big puppy eyes, but stopped when everyone started laughing at her, including the Autobots.

"What? Is it so weird that I just saw the car of my dreams and want to drive it?" Leanna pouted and then turned at just began running her hand over the form of the car. She admired the yellow paintjob, a good color she thought. The car was pretty sweet, spotless, and when she went over to lift up the hood, she was giddy as she saw the massive horsepower generator.

"Sam, please can you let me drive?!?" Leanna pleaded, running up to Sam who was still laughing.

"Well, why don't you ask Bumblebee?" Sam said, a big grin and holding in his laughter. At this, Leanna looked confused at Sam.

"Bumblebee? But-" Leanna stopped as she heard the clunk of gears and turned around to see that the car was actually Bumblebee and was standing proudly in front of her, "Oh…sorry Bee…I'll just…be…bye!" Leanna ran away in embarrassment and remembered how she fondled the car. Bumblebee looked at her a little confused and Sam and Mikaela just laughed as the other Autobots also just stared after Leanna's form.

'Oh my god! He must think that I'm a perv or something! I just fondled a bot!" Leanna thought, totally ashamed and embarrassed and finally stopped and took a breather. She was at the other end of the series of abandoned warehouses. She heard a roar of an engine and saw Bumblebee again in the Camaro form and went up next to her to nudge her leg.

"I've been looking for a driver who qualifies…" Bumblebee's radio blared out Rihanna's "Shut Up and Drive", meaning that it was okay for her to drive.

"Sorry, Bumblebee, I never stopped to think that it was you…" Leanna said apologetically, but Bumblebee just softly nudged her leg again with his front bumper and played out "Shut Up and Drive" again just to say that he forgave her, but he wanted her to get in. Leanna nodded and opened the driver's side door and sat in, feeling the interior and putting her hands on the wheel and putting her head on the steering wheel and she heard a small purring noise. She sat up in surprise but then realized that it must be Bumblebee and she pet the steering wheel. More purring was issued and she smiled.

'He's like a big kitten…this reminds me of that Totoro movie with the giant cat bus…' Leanna thought randomly and she put Bee in reverse and she found the Autobots still examining the good job on Ironhide, Sam and Mikaela discussing something.

"Hey guys! You wanna go to the beach or what?" called out Leanna, the two humans looking over and getting in. After waving bye, they went to the beach and played in the sun until it set.

chiv-id: Okay! So, we have the third installment of "What It Means To Be Human"! How was that guys?

Ironhide: (looking himself over) I look good as new!

Leanna: (smiling) Yup! I take pride in my jobs!

Ratchet: In fact, I think we all need a car wash, wouldn't you say so Autobots?

All the Autobots: Sure, most definitely.

Leanna: (sweatdropping) Uh...I'm going to run away now... (runs away with the Autobots asking her to give them a wash)

Ironhide: (steps in front and points cannons) Stop before I shove a whole lot of Energon blasts up your afterburners. (everyone stops and apologize)

Leanna: Thanks! I thought I was going to be mobbed by giant pieces of metal!

chiv-id: Awww...see my plan's going perfectly for you two!

Leanna and Ironhide: ...What plan? (gives death stares and chiv-id chuckles nervously)

chiv-id: Well, er, I guess I better be going! See yals! Reviews, please I need them! (runs away with Leanna and Ironhide trying to get her to spill her plan)