A/N: Howdy-ho. This took forever, man, but I have all these ideas now! Man oh man, I love AU fics something fierce. Quick reference to my other fic, Wild Thing, in here, but you don't need to read it to understand – not really, at least. It'd make more sense, but not much more. Read on, good one.
How do I get into these things?
Amarant looks up to the ceiling before shaking his head, eyes returning to Kuja, who's swaying on the couch. The CD has ended and Lani has taken Zidane to her apartment to get something – he can't remember what, exactly, it was, but he knew it was innocent and didn't mean there was a sordid affair going on behind his back. Kuja is looking at the ceiling with an interested, mildly confused look on his face, and suddenly he looks at Amarant, catching him in the act of staring.
"I'm going to bed," he concedes, "If you want – I don't know. If you want, you can sleep on the couch, but I think Lani has a pull out bed in her apartment, if you'd rather." He stands and makes it about halfway to the hall before having to rest against the wall. "Oh."
"Again," Amarant sighs, standing and going over to the other male, "No pills or other questionable substances?"
"I hope not," Kuja mumbles and Amarant lets the silver haired man lean against him, starting down the hall. "Second door on the left," he says, and Amarant takes a minute to open the door. The room has white walls and white carpet, but the prevailing color is dark purple. The desk in the corner has piles of half-finished sketches and there are larger, full-sized sketches pinned to the walls, bohemian dresses and weird shirts, but they all look pretty good. The bookcase is completely full of books, DVDs, and CDs, and other than the bed there's not much else – a stereo on top of drawers and a laptop, but otherwise the place looks kind of barren.
"Here you go," he mutters and puts the other down on the bed.
Kuja groans and stretches, smiling sleepily – stoned – at Amarant. "Thank you," he says, "I'm sorry."
"What for?" Amarant asks, already looking over sketches and books.
"For dragging you into Treno. And for convincing Lani to disclose your address." He grins, "You looked very confused about me being there."
"Not a big deal." He turns to look at Kuja and frowns. His silver hair is mused and hanging in his face, and he looks so soft. "You're like a girl," he mutters and hopes his face isn't red.
Kuja laughs a little, "I get that a lot. Would you sleep with me?"
Amarant blinks, "No."
"Then I guess I'm not a total girl, am I?" he giggles, before grabbing for the comforter. "When you see Zidane tell him not to wake me up."
"Alright," the redhead sighs and leaves the room, closing the door and heading out to the living room. The couch looks okay but honestly, he doesn't want to sleep here. It's too... clean.
He heads out and leaves the paperclip under the welcome mat for Zidane, and uses foggy memories to remember what room Lani was in. He manages to make it with only a few missed hallways and knocks on the door – three fast, three slow, three fast.
"Comin'," Lani says from the other side of the door, and a moment later she leans out, smirking, "Couldn't handle Kuja?"
"He's asleep. He said to send Zidane up and tell him not to wake him up."
Lani laughs softly and lets the other in, "Yeah, the poor kid's wonked out on my couch." She jerks a finger and indeed, the blonde boy is asleep on the old leather couch that – Amarant suddenly realizes that's the same couch they stole from the staff room at school all those years ago.
"Oh, man," Amarant mumbles, "I love that couch."
"Me too," the girl whispers, "Come on, you can sleep with me."
"Hah, I thought you didn't want any passionate heterosexual sex?" Amarant responds cheekily, and she rolls her eyes, leading him to the bedroom. It's got the same white walls and carpet as the other apartment, but instead there are posters for Broadway musicals and a few underground bands Amarant's only vaguely heard of.
"So, how do you feel?"
"What do you mean?" Amarant asks the girl, who shrugs, pulling off her tank top.
"Prolonged exposure to Kuja. Are you still straight?"
Amarant rolls his eyes, grinning and sitting down on the edge of the bed, "Yeah, I'm still straight."
"Great," the girl chuckles, crossing her arms easily over her bare chest, "Wanna fuck?"
The redhead blinks, but is generally unsurprised. Lani will always be sexual, will always be hot, and will always be blunt about it. The Three Laws of Lani – they beat the shit out of Newton's. "I thought you were in a relationship with a girl?" he asks.
She rolls her eyes and straddles him. "Oh, she slept with one of the guys from the music department last week. We figured that means I can sleep with anyone I want, you know?"
"Lani, you're one of the most fucked up people I've ever met." He puts a hand to her back and she laughs, kissing him.
"Yeah, I know. Still, I better have my fucked up way with you before Kuja makes you queer."
"You can't be made queer," Amarant mumbles and she shrugs.
"Kuja can make anyone anything."
When Lani and Amarant were in high school, they were considered the wrong kids to hang out with. They were the kids who sit in the back of class talking about their latest prospects – usually in voices loud enough so most everyone could hear. The kids who would punch you for looking at them wrong and very likely kill you if you did it again. For their senior prank, they led a girl on a wild, emotionally hazardous rollercoaster that involved them sleeping with her at different times, pretending not to know, and making the girl think she was the hottest shit on earth.
They didn't believe in using their powers only for evil. (Though, they eventually let it loose to the entire student body and got her labeled some unkind things.)
When Amarant's mother had died, Lani had been probably the only person who knew about it, and was therefore the first and only defense that the redhead had against idiots who took those fucking idiotic "your mom" jokes just a little too far. She had also been his steady girlfriend for about two years, until college came and swept her up in a haze of bigger and better things. Not that Amarant holds any sort of grudge against her – she was right to bail the second she could.
He is, after all, a train wreck waiting to happen.
He really hadn't talked to Lani much over the college years, other than occasional visits that usually ended up with them stoned out of their minds laughing over Blazing Saddles or something equally as stupid. Not that he minded much, either way – Lani was still a friend and, if he needed something she would probably be the first person to offer it to him.
The idea of sleeping with Lani just because she has a free "sleep with anyone" ticket and she thinks he's going to become gay over some silly, silver haired fool doesn't surprise Amarant at all. Lani's always been one of those people who knock on wood, double check the locks, and stuff like that. Jump in the water now before it gets too cold – that kind of thing.
But still, something doesn't sit right with Amarant later that night, when Lani sleeps half on top of him, hair all over the place and arms on his shoulders. He loves Lani and so he doesn't mind her sleeping on him like this, undressed, dressed, or any other way. But still – something seems wrong.
He tries to remember a time when Lani's predictions about himself were wrong. "Never get into college" – nope, he didn't; not for the reasons she had thought, but still. "Be that old lady on the street who has lots of cats and stuff" – kind of, it's coming true; he loves animals and he would happily live his life with just a bunch of cats if he could. "Have a fucked up sexual life" – she had seen to that one. "Go gay for Kuja"...
That's what's worrying him. All her predictions come true and suddenly she thinks he's going to start sleeping with men – men who look like girls, but still.
"Stop thinkin'," Lani mumbles against his chest, "Y' think too much."
"Ain't my fault you make me second guess myself."
"God," she mutters and looks up at him, eyebrows raised, "Don't tell me you're regretting sleeping with me."
Amarant snorts, "I don't think anyone can regret that, Lan."
"Oh, don't you 'Lan' me," the girl teases, "What are you thinking so hard about that it wakes me up?"
"Random stuff."
She stretches against him and then laughs, "You were thinking about Kuja, weren't you?"
Amarant wonders, briefly, if Lani has some kind of psychic connection to his brain. "No," he answers in a way that means yes, how did you know?
"Random stuff for you means personal stuff, and personal stuff for you means people like Kuja. You're not gay, are you?"
"No," Amarant mumbles, "Go back to sleep, Lani, you're bugging me."
"You're awfully easy to read, Red. My honest answer is stop worrying, would you? What happens will happen and you can't do shit to change it, so why bother?"
"That's a very finite way to think. No free will?"
"More like destiny and preordination and shit. Now, don't worry. Kuja's not going to bother you if you set boundaries now, instead of when you're both naked. Though, if it ever gets that far," She shifts and yawns, "You'll have to send me a copy of the videotape."
"There will be no videotape because there will be no naked Amarant and naked Kuja together in any frame. Sorry to burst your bubble."
Lani groans, "Okay, okay. Go to sleep already, you big ass. I have class in the morning."
"So-rry," he mumbles and puts his arms around her. She makes a motion with her hand and grabs at the blanket, pulling it up over them.
"If it's any consolation, you're a wonderful hetero fuck," she drawls against his chest and he chuckles, smoothing back her hair.
"Same with you. Though I'd suppose you're a wonderful lesbian fuck as well."
"There's nothing I'm not wonderful at," she answers, nodding.
Amarant smirks and closes his eyes, content for now to follow Lani's advice and just not worry.
Amarant sighs and stares up at the ceiling, feeling comfortably isolated from the entire world – especially the world that involves his father, who is out with Susan, at some stupid bridal shower or something. He's not sure what they're out doing, actually, and he's quite okay with that.
He's going to have to call Lani eventually and ask her if she was serious about going to the ranch with him – he's leaving in two days for a week and she'd never forgive him if he just left.
There's a knock at the garage door, and he smirks, standing. Maybe he won't have to call her after all. He heads out the door and down the short hallway to the garage door and pries it open.
It isn't Lani.
Actually, it's Kuja.
Amarant forces himself not to make any sort of surprised gesture and simply nods. "Hey," he greets.
"Hi." Kuja looks awkward, in the big gray sweatshirt he was wearing before, with grubby jeans and his hair back in a ponytail. He doesn't look at all like he did last night. "Oh!" he blinks, and shifts his messenger bag, reaching inside it and pulling out Amarant's CD case. "I – here, I forgot to give this back to you."
"Oh." Amarant takes it, looks at it blankly – what was it that he was so worried about last night, he was so out of it – "Thanks."
"No problem. Um, you..." Kuja blushes suddenly and Amarant knows there was a reason why he was worried last night, "You weren't too annoyed with us dragging you off last night, were you?"
Amarant raises an eyebrow and leans against the doorframe, smirking. "Not really. What else was I going to do, sit around and get stoned?" He shrugs, "It wasn't that bad."
"Oh, that's good," Kuja responds, looking very much relieved. "I thought you were... I don't know. Sorry, I'm just floundering now," he mumbles.
"That's okay, conversation's a bitch." Amarant blanks out for another moment and before anything can get too awkward he spouts, "Want to come in?"
"...Oh, uh... sure." Kuja looks surprised but comes in when Amarant steps aside, and looks around in mild interest. "So, Zidane tells me you and Lani had a nice evening," he drawls, smirking over his shoulder at Amarant.
"Aw, shit." The redhead rubs the back of his head, taking the lead and heading to his room again. "What do you want me to say?"
"Nothing. After all, I know Lani too – not as well as you, but enough to know that isn't a big deal in her books."
"Or mine," Amarant adds nonchalantly, without really thinking. "Want a smoke?" He offers up a pack of Camels and the other shakes his head.
"No thanks."
Amarant flops back onto his bed and Kuja makes himself comfortable on his desk chair. "So, what's up?" the redhead asks, "Did you come out today just to return my damned CDs?"
"...Well, yes and no." Kuja spins around a little on the chair and puts his hands on his knees. "I was going to invite you to dinner tonight with Lani, Zidane and I, but maybe I'm moving too fast for such a heterosexual guy."
Amarant smirks and nods, "Maybe a little. Where are you eating?"
"This little Japanese place by the shop. Good sushi and stuff. Zidane likes it, and it's more..." He waves a hand, "It's more like a little party for him and a few of his friends, because they got their first – oh, what do those hip young kids call it today, a gig, show, whatever – for their band."
"A band, huh." Somehow, this doesn't surprise Amarant in the slightest. He could see the little blonde singing in a whiny teenage voice about his girlfriend – oh, yeah, definitely, didn't she have a bodyguard? That's a Blink 182 song waiting to happen.
"Yeah. He does that whole guitar-slash-lead-singer thing." Kuja bats his eyelashes, "So, what do you say?"
"I'm not much for sushi," Amarant mutters, thinking for a minute.
Kuja simply pouts and swings around more on the chair. "Lani figured it was a lost cause, inviting you out two nights in a row."
"And you didn't listen to her?"
"Have you ever listened to Lani?" Kuja responds, grinning.
The redhead smirks and then shrugs. "I guess I'll come."
"Great!" The silver-haired man claps his hands together.
"...So long as there's no dress code."
"Oh, no, not tonight," he waves a hand, "I'll be the only decent looking one, as per usual." He leans back in the chair and crosses his legs. "So, what do you do for fun, anyways?"
"What do you mean?" The redhead cranes his neck to look around, "What you see is what you get."
"For some reason, I fail to believe that," Kuja responds, "You seem more like the kind of person to have so many nuances that it'd be impossible to map, rather than a 'what you see' kind of person."
"You asked what I like to do. This is it."
"Sit in your room, smoking, and watch TV?"
"You say it like that's a bad way to live. I've seen worse." Changing the subject quickly, he asks, "How's your brother handing his little breakup?"
"As most boys his age do – trying desperately to win back the affections that were never taken away. It's a shame it had to happen to my brother, of all people. He's such an emotional train wreck..." Kuja holds up his hands in surrender, "I guess he got that from me."
There's a sudden, loud barking from down the hall, and Amarant groans, cupping a hand to his mouth and shouting, "Shut up, Admes!"
"Who?" Kuja asks, blinking.
More barking, and Amarant rolls his eyes, "My dog. Probably saw a damned cat or something again... Admes!"
The door nudges open and a big, bulky German Shepard trots in, looking beyond pleased with himself and dropping a bone on the floor.
"How cute!" Kuja exclaims, and the dog notices him for the first time, whining and trotting over to the student. "Admes, huh?" he asks, petting the dog's fur, "He's gorgeous."
"That's what everyone says, 'till he comes up to them with a dead rabbit in his jaws." Amarant smirks over at the dog, "He's such a showoff."
"He brings home rabbits?"
"Yeah, puts 'em on my bed like I'm the one who's going to eat it later."
Kuja tweaks one of Admes' ears and laughs, "Aw, he brings you presents. How cute."
"Not so much presents as an order. Basically knows that I'm just going to cook them for him, so-"
"You cook?" Kuja looks more surprised by this fact than the fact that he cooks rabbits that his dog catches, and so Amarant nods.
"A little."
"Like I said, nuances. Still, if you don't want him bringing you dead animals, I'd suggest not cooking them up for him."
"I don't mind it. It means he's getting exercise and besides, the way he treats my dad, he deserves it."
"How does he treat your dad?" Kuja asks, looking down at the dog, "He's so nice!"
"Yeah, except he hates dad. Dunno why, but I can't blame him."
Kuja pets Admes for a few more minutes, and then says, "When Lani told me you were an animal person, I didn't believe her. No offense, but you kind of come off..."
"Yeah, that's what they call a 'front'," Amarant drawls, "I just don't like people so much. Tend to get on my nerves. Animals, though..." He clicks his tongue and Admes pulls away from Kuja, leaping onto the bed and laying next to Amarant, "They're just... better." He scratches Admes' side, and hopes he hasn't come off antisocial. Not that he isn't, but still...
Kuja gives him that look from last night – that one Amarant's not used to seeing from people, and shrugs, "You just have to know what kind of people to look for. You'd be surprised."
It rolls off of Amarant's tongue before he can stop it, "I think I am," and he feels suddenly self-conscious, because that's not something you say to guys. But Kuja doesn't seem to take it anyway other than a vague compliment from a weird guy, so Amarant doesn't feel too bad.
"So," the silver-haired student starts, eyes sliding over Amarant quickly – so quick that the redhead almost doesn't catch it and then wishes he hadn't, "Got any other quirks that I should know about?"
"Well, I enjoy long walks on the beach, carnivals, and," the redhead deadpans, petting Admes and looking at the other solemnly, "Sometimes I like to murder people and then eat them."
"Delicious," Kuja smirks, "We have something in common."
Haha, threw you for a loop, huh?