It was spring when everything shattered.
It had all been okay. Alfred's parents were fine with it, they had even been happy. Kiku might have had to endure constant teasing about his "Prince Not-So-Charming" from Li Xiang and Yong Soo, as well as getting his dates stalked by a yaoi-hungry Mei, but it was fine.
He loved his family.
Mei had started planning a wedding, while Li Xiang had made a "special" fireworks display for the fourth of July.
Kiku had met Matthew, Alfred's identical twin. Yong Soo had joked that it would be embarrassing if Kiku kissed Matthew by accident, resulting in him getting chased around the house and Matthew revealing that he did get mistaken for Alfred a lot.
Lucille, Alfred's adopted sister, was a sweet girl who liked the ocean and wanted to be a marine biologist. Tobias and Christian, two boys that reminded Kiku of Yong Soo and Hyung Soo, wanted to be ecologists. Tobias was mature, responsible, and liked sheep. Christian was wild and had an evil-looking stuffed koala.
They had gone on dates, seen all the superhero movies. Sure, there had been teasing at school, but then everyone had been introduced to Ivan. The tall Russian was Yao's boyfriend, and upon seeing him, everyone clammed up.
College applications were the cause of a lot of stress, but nii-san, a good big brother as always, had ensured Kiku would be prepared. And Alfred would come over every night just so Kiku could use his shoulder as a pillow.
It was okay.
So then why did the universe have to do this? To shatter this precious, wonderful thing that Kiku had?
Surely that person could have gone without a drink? Or called a cab? But no…
It was Lucille, the African girl that Alfred's family had adopted, who called them. Through a haze of tears, French and English, mixing together, it was all jumbled up.
But the gist of it was easy to get.
Alfred
Driving
Voiture (car)
Truck
Mort (dead)
Dead.
Why? How could the world be so cruel?
Sisha
Si le
Mort
Kiku barely remembered the funeral. It had not been an open casket funeral, for one thing. Kiku understood that decision. How could anyone bear to see Alfred dead when he had been so animated, so eager, alive?
Mei and Lucille had hugged each other while crying. Cheng had comforted Matthew while the poor boy sobbed his heart out. Li Xiang was feebly offering a tissue to him as if somehow things would be okay.
Yong Soo and Hyung Soo sat with Christian and Tobias. The two occasionally cast pitying glances at Matthew while holding each other's hands, as if afraid of losing each other.
Nii-san sat there patiently and kindly as Arthur wept. He was there, just like he had always been in Kiku's life, for when times got too rough. Condolences would be nothing more than words, but time and patience could numb the pain, and love could heal it.
At least, that's what nii-san said. But Kiku wasn't sure. He brushed past Sadiq, Herakles, and Gupta, running away…
It wasn't fair.
It just wasn't fair.
Why did the world have to be like this?
Mocking him, scorning him…
The spring morning was perfect in every way. Birds sang a sweet melody and flowers bloomed in gardens. Laughter filled the air.
Kiku felt his stomach twist.
There shouldn't be laughter. There shouldn't be joy. Not anywhere, in this cruel, horrible, terrible world…
A week passed as he stumbled around, in a daze. His grades were as perfect as ever, but his movements were robotic. What was the point?
And then, about a week later, nii-san had gripped his shoulder.
"Kiku, Xiao-ju-hua, please… my heart breaks seeing you like this, all of our hearts do, all over again. Find a way to push past this. If not for yourself, then for Mei, for your brothers, for me… you know Alfred would want you to."
And that was how Kiku found himself standing beside Alfred's grave. It was made out of white marble, with flowers scattered around it. Roses, white lilies, exotic flowers…
Kiku placed two roses near the gravestone. Roses had been Alfred's favorite flower. One blue, for loyalty, and one red, for passion. They were the colors of the American flag.
"Alfred…" Kiku whispered, remaining standing as the gentle wind blew against his back.
Do you remember?
Do you remember that fight we got into about whose big brother was better? Do you remember that time you saved me from bullies?
Finding his voice once more, Kiku managed to voice one of his thousands of questions. "Do you remember the first time we kissed?"
Kiku did. He knew that he would never forget that wonderful person that had made his life complete.
"We were so hopeful then," Kiku murmured, smiling bitterly. "Who knew this would happen? Surely not to you, the one that was so full of life?"
But Kiku was stronger now. With the words Alfred had given him, the love his family gave him, the kindness his friends gave him, he would make it through.
"Koishiteru."