The title is a song by Ian Van Dahl

I Can't Let You Go

It was now or never she thought to herself. She started looking a little nervous and Lucas looked at her confused. She took a deep breath, "Ok." She said and Lucas stared at her still waiting for her to answer "I think I'm in love with you"

Lucas was taken back by this. He wasn't facing her anymore he was looking straight ahead of him. So many thoughts were running through his mind. Did she just say she loves me he thought. He ran his hand through his hair and then looked at Peyton with a sort of sympathetic but also confused look.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that" she said getting up "I'm just …. I'm going to go"

"Peyton, this is your house" he said with a sort of laugh

She looked at him with a worried look, "I know but what ever" she said as she walked out of her room down the stairs and out her door. She didn't know where she was going but she just started walking.

Lucas stayed in her room still shocked. He couldn't believe what was happening. He had told Brooke he wanted to be with like two days ago and now Peyton tells him she loves him. So many memories of Peyton came rushing back, The time she almost ran him over, their first kiss, the road trip, the hotel, all the time they spent together. He knew they had something. Something that he could never share with Brooke. He wasn't sure what it was but they had some sort of connection. He got off her bed and paced around her room and then went into her closet and looked at one of her drawings. It was a drawing of him and Peyton at Nathan's, It read And Now We Can Have I. He remembered back to that night, it was Dan's kiss ass party and it was the first time him and Peyton ever kissed. He snapped out of his thoughts and walked out of her house and went to search for Peyton.

Peyton didn't know where to go and was just walking around Tree Hill. She wanted to know what he was thinking and she wanted to know how he felt about her. She wanted to know if this changed anything because she also knew they had a connection that neither Brooke nor anyone would ever share. She ended up at the river court and as she just stood in the middle of the court she wanted answers, answers from Lucas. She left the river court and walked to Lucas' house. She knocked on his room door but there was no answer. She decided to just sit on his porch and wait for him there. She needed to know what he thought.

Lucas searched all over town for her, he went to his mom's café, Tric, the river court and couldn't find her anywhere. He thought maybe she went back home already. He gave up and started walking towards his house. He felt numb. He didn't know what to do and didn't know what he was feeling anymore. He knew he tried to bury his feelings Peyton for so long and when he finally did, he was going to give his heart a chance with Brooke. He walked with his head down the whole way home and when he finally reached his porch he hadn't noticed Peyton there. Her head in her hands. She looked up.

"Lucas…" she said getting up off the steps and was now standing a couple feet away.

"Why now Peyton?" he said firmly with his hands in the air.

"Lucas, I tried to bury it. I tried. Remember you told me you were hiding with Brooke, well I was hiding with Jake. I thought I loved him and I tried to love him but I was just lying, I was lying to myself. He's gone, Lucas and I can't hide anymore. I love you, Lucas." She explained "I always have been." She said with a shy smile. Lucas didn't know what to think or how to act. He looked down then up and was just so confused. "Please say something, I need to know what you think. Is it still there? You and me?"

"Of course Peyton. It's always going to be there. But I'm so damn confused down. I don't want to hurt Brooke again, I can't!. And I know you don't to hurt too…right? I tried so hard to get over you and I ignored the pain I felt. I was over you, or I thought I was" he told her, explained to her… "…and now you're telling me you're still in love with me…I'm don't think I'm over you Peyton…But…."

"But Brooke…right?"

"Yea Brooke...two days ago I told her I wanted to be with her. And to tell you the truth I kind of do but now there's you and these feelings are rushing back" he said "Damn it Peyton why couldn't you tell me this 2 days ago!" he raised his voice. "It's not fair to me, to you, or to Brooke. It's even more damn complicated then the last time. I wanted you for so long…." He said "then Jake showed up and I figured you were over me and in love with him. that's when I started hanging out with Brooke more and that's when feelings for her started coming back…"

"You were the one who called Jake and look I understand if you can't be with me or don't want to be with me it's that simple." She said sadly looking down at the ground

"I called him because I thought you could use a friend since you didn't wanted to talk to me. I never thought you were going to become a couple. And this is not simple. All of this is not simple. Have you not been listening to what I've been telling you? It's so damn complicated because now…I think I want you too"

Special thanks to Ilay who helped me out with this chapter.

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