From Desert To Dust: A Fallout NV and Rwby Crossover

Chapter 4: The Headmaster and The Courier

As Alice followed blondie to the front door of the castle like structure, she couldn't help but keep her head on a swivel. But who could keep their eyes from examining every little detail of this place. It was unreal, the pristine stone, the well keepped grass and other vegetation, the clean looking water, and the fact that for the life of her she couldn't see any damage from bombs, bullets, blades, claws, flames, or anything else associated with combated in the Mojave. Hell the place was cleaner that anywhere on the Strip and the Sink in Big Mt. Combined. Though there was a more practical reason for her to have her eyes examining every nick and cranny, she was on the look out of anything out of place or potential ambush positions. The basics to wasteland survival really, a pile of garbage that might be hiding a land mine, a spot where a sniper could get good coverage of an area, potential corpses either signifying loot or danger. As the two of them came up to the door Alice was kind of disappointed that there was no ambush or sniper fire aimed at her, the place would have been an interesting spot for a shot out and it probably would have been a quicker way to figure out why this Ozpin guy wanted to talk with her. But as the two entered through the door those thought dissipated from her mind as she was taken back by the inside of the building. The architecture from the outside had carried over to the inside but branched off into different wings that contained weirdly shaped lockers as far as the eye could see. And where there was lockers there was loot, and loot meant new guns (or just more guns), drugs, cash, random junk, magazines, and other stuff that would make any wastelander drool at the possibility of riches.

"Miss Alice what exactly are you doing?"

Alice's attention was suddenly ripped from the corridor of loot and turned her head to see blondie staring at her while standing next to what seemed to be an elevator a few feet away. Apparently the possibility for loot had caused Alice to space out for a few moments or minutes or whatever, and now blondie was looking at her like she wore shirts as pants or some shit like that. Though seeing a fully armored person just standing in one spot for an extended period of time with no clue to as what they were doing is probably pretty strange. Especially if they don't know that your admiring untold fortunes of loot. Speaking of loot, while Alice would have gladly ditch blondie at this moment to start pilfering those lockers the look she was getting from blondie was telegraphing two things. The aforementioned looking like a weirdo and the fact that Alice could feel that blondie's patients were wearing thin. Thin patients meant that blondie would be more susceptible to being irritated and Alice knew what that would lead to. A meeting with a riding crop enchanted with the ancient power of fuck-you-ism. So in the interest of not being launched across the room – again – Alice made a mental to loot the place at a later time; preferably when blondie wasn't around.

"Nothing, just... you know... admiring the architecture... and stuff."

Blondie just stared at Alice with a look of skepticism that spoke of trying to unearth some kind of malicious intent underneath the piss poor excuse. Though whether blondie figured out Alice's desire to loot the ever living shit out of the endless lockers was lost to Alice. Because either due to lack of any evidence, not giving a shit, or just sick of this fucking day blondie just let out an exhausted sigh and walked into the elevator mentioning for Alice to follow to follow at the same time. Not wanting to piss off blondie for a second time today Alice followed suite and joined her in the elevator. As the doors of the elevator closed Alice spent a moment to look at the inside of the elevator. It was round in design with sleek white walls and the typical controls for an elevator. The only thing of interest however was on the floor of the elevator, engraved into it was a symbol of two axes crossing each other with a leaved circle behind them. Overall it had a simplistic but elegant feel to it, though it could just be the fact that the thing was clean. Usually when she rode an elevator they were dirty and barley functional, hell many of them weren't even working before she got her hands on their innards. And the Only other elevator she road were in Big Mt. and The Lucky 38 which were dulled and faded but worked every time. So she had to take her assessment of the elevator with a grain of salt.

After what felt like forever, the doors of the elevator finally opened and Alice was greeted by the sight of a white haired man sitting behind an interesting looking desk. And that was the only thing in the rather dull room, for fuck sake there wasn't even a rug to wipe your feet on! Not that Alice really gave a shit if there was one, but at least it would of liven up the bare room a bit. Though as Alice walked out of the elevator and towards the man, she did have to take back he statement a little bit, as portions of the wall and the entire ceiling had huge fucking gears in them. Speaking of the gears, they had to be breaking some kind of health and safety regulation. Especially sense there were no safety railings/barriers or glass in between the gears and an onlooker. But besides the 'meat grinder waiting to happen' in the walls the round room wasn't much to look at, as she mentioned before. Reverting her attention to the white haired man who she now stood in front of, he was wearing a suite jacket, vest, and turtle neck that seemed a little big around the neck. To top it all of he had a cross pined to the oversized turtle neck and some tinted glasses. What piqued her interest the most about the man was the fact that his cloth's were incredibly green. There was barely any variation in the colors he chose for his outfit, hell she had more variation on her current outfit and she had found being worn by a corpse in the divide which in on top of the fact that the clothing was over 200 years old. While Alice would love to examine Mr. Green Fever, he apparently wanted to move on to formalities.

"Glynda I see you have returned with our guest. Though apparently without incident – I hope it wasn't something too terrible?"

Apparently realizing that she forgot to wash her face, or at the very last scraping off the dried blood from her nose, blondie just let out a sigh while letting her head fall into the comforting embrace of her hand. Alice could tell that blondie was obviously trying to put their first meeting together into words while at the same time trying not to lose her composure, well too much at least. After sorting her thoughts out blondie lifted her head out of her hand and took another heavy sigh indicating she was done with this fucking day already.

"It wasn't anything dangerous Ozpin but it was surprising to say the least. And frankly I don't know where to truly begin, or if you would believe mat at-"

"I jumped off a cliff and slammed into her."

Alice's sudden intervention caused both Mr. Green Fever, who she now knew as "Ozpin" and blondie to snap their attention to her like she suddenly grew two heads. However the two of them had radically different reactions etched on to their faces. Blondie mouth was agape and her eyes were practically bulging out of her head as if she had accidentally walked in on some guy changing. The deep red glowing from her cheeks from embarrassment didn't exactly help that comparison. Ozpin on the other hand had a more modest reaction, his eyes were only slightly wider than they were a moment ago and the only other change was that one of his eyebrows were slightly raised.

"What? The man wanted to know what the fuck happened so I told him what the fuck happened. So can you stop gawking at me like I just flashed you blondie?"

Alice's comment was meant to try to calm things down a bit. But seeing as how blondie cheeks seemed to only get redder and mouth gape wider, Alice could safely say she fucking failed in that attempt. Though she may have had a little bit more luck with Ozpin as his facial expression stayed the same, though that could also mean he was in a bit of shock from what she just said. Weather Alice was right on either assumption Ozpin didn't give any clues as he stared at her.

"I see. Well then I think its time I formally introduce myself as you seem to have already got acquainted with Glynda. I am Professor Ozpin, Headmaster of Beacon Academy and Huntsman. And I must say it's a pleasure to meet you miss...?"

"Name's Alice, but most people know me as the Courier or Courier Six. I don't really care which one you call me so take your pick. Oh and drop the formalities, I don't give a shit about them."

If Ozpin had any problem with her request he didn't give even the slightest hint. Hell even dropping her nickname didn't get a reaction. Usually when she did that she would get one of two reaction – people looking surprised and (a good portion of the time) happy to see her, or too busy shitting their pants out of fear to do anything but babble like a baby. The latter also tend to end up dead with a third eye placed between the other two. Then again she wasn't exactly in the Mojave anymore so her name probably means less here. Where ever here was; for all Alice knew she could be in fucking England drinking tea and eating croissants. Or was it wine and biscuits? Point is Alice shouldn't have been too surprised by this revelation in hindsight. Yet it still made her raise an eyebrow when Ozpin picked up the conversation.

"That's a very interesting name Alice. I don't mean to pry, but could you tell me how you came to be know as this courier?"

"Took a job to deliver a package to a man named Mr. House in New Vegas and then got mugged by a town named Goodsprings. A bastard named Benny had hired some Great Khan thugs to help him get the package from me and put a 9mm between my eyes. Sadly for him I survived, thanks to the local doctor, and tracked his ass down to his casino in New Vegas. I then proceeded to clean house with my brush gun, and my trusty .44 revolver. I did some other shit getting to that point, but that's a story for another day."

Wrapping up the jist of her tale, Alice took stock of the expressions of blondie and Ozpin had on their faces that was sort of becoming a pattern for when ever she talked. Blondie was slacked jaw and had bulging eyes, pretty much the same as before - though Alice thought she saw a hint of fear coming from her eyes. Ozpin on the other hand had changed dramatically in term of facial expression, the fucker had both of his eyebrows raised now. But besides the revelation that Ozpin could raise both eyebrow, the reaction she got from the two was pretty typical from what she got from anyone that heard the tale. They were probably thinking how crazy, or ballsy, she was to not only track down someone who brought her to death's door and then burst into his home to return the favor with interest. Even more so when the bastard was a chairman of a casino on the strip which meant one thing, he had the money and influence to protect him from pretty much anything. However blondie apparently was focusing on something that should have been fucking obvious.

"You killed him?!"

Out of all the things blondie could pick up on she decided to latch onto the fact that she killed Benny. And by the tone of her voice someone could make the assumption Alice killed her mother, or her pet molerat. Oh and then there was the fact that she made it out that Alice just committed a crime by going by the old expression of an eye for an eye. Seriously what did she want Alice to do? Call the non-existent cops who could be easily be bribed by Benny to look the other way? Anyways if Benny was going to go down, which he did, it would be by Alice's hands, which she did, and Alice's hands alone. After collecting from the sudden outburst and the randomness of the question blondie flung at her, Alice turned her head towards blondie and gave her a 'what kind of fucking question is that' look. Though it had absolutely no effect as she was still wearing her fucking helmet.

"Well ya. What did you expect when I said that I 'cleaned house' with guns? Did you think I put on some maids outfit and started to tidy up the place? Well news flash blondie I didn't. Instead I blew the mother fuckers brains out with the pistol he used to put me six feet under, well right after I crippled all of his limbs of course."

While Alice had meant to clear up any confusion blondie had, and make her look like a fucking idiot, the twitching eye and gritted teeth gave off the impression that Alice had failed in that regard. Which was only further expressed by the balled up fists at her sides that seemed to speak, 'I'm going to beat your ass like a cazador high on phyco'. Thankfuly before shit hit the fan, Ozpin got the conversation going in a more productive direction. Well, at least for the moment.

"Alice, while I don't agree with your methods or reasoning, I can't judge you for your actions. However I only say this because I have no information regarding this 'New Vegas' that you speak of, but from what I've heard so far it seems to be a rather... rough environment. So perhaps, you could tell us where exactly this New Vegas is?"

"Ya no problem, if you got a map I'll point it out for you. I kinda got lost in that forest so I could use a map myself."

With that little request a hologram of a map appeared in the middle of the desk, and frankly caught Alice off guard. No, not the fact it was a hologram as she had seen enough of those between Big Mt. and the Sierra Madre. What caught her off guard was the fact that the fucking map had continents she had never seen before or names of places either. Hell it was like she was in a new world, or a parral word, or in an alternate universe/dimension, or a new plane of existence, or … or …. fuck … she ran out of sciencie things to compare this situation to. But anyways, as she continued to stare at the hologram something clicked in her mind. Something that made her realize how fucking crazy her situation was yet something that made perfect sense for pre-war America. And with that realization Alice broke out into laughter to the absolute confusion of blondie and Ozpin.

"Those mother fucking idiots! Oh god this is too good. Those... fuckers... tried to invent teleportation. And instead, they invented fucking dimension jumping or some shit like that! Fucking hell, this... this is just too! Fucking! Perfect!"

Another round of laughter and the Alice's words on added to the confusion that the two others in the room. As the two of them didn't know who 'they' was referring too or what a of the world had to do with teleportation or crossing dimensions. To them it seemed as Alice had lost it, especially with the loud laughter she was emitting. But after sometime Ozpin was able to recover from his confusion and took a quick sip from his mug before he got to the bottom of whatever the fuck this was.

"Alice are you proposing that you are not from this world?"

"Yep."

"And you just want us to believe this? Without any kind of proof?"

"…. Yes?"

At this point blondie had also regain from the shock of Alice's laughter, and decided to jump into the conversation before things got even crazier. Also, there was the hope that Alice was just crazy and they could get rid of her with in the next few minutes.

"If you want use to believe your ridiculous proposal then I suggest that you provide some evidence. If you can't I'll personal escort you off the premise and make sure you have a nice trip back to emerald forest. However the parachute will not be included with your trip."

"Calm your tits blondie, you don't have to jump to the death threats right away. But anyways what do you want me to use for proof? Gunpowder, C-4, Oil, mutfruit, laser weapons, mini-nukes, plasma weapons, Sunset Sarsaparilla, Nuka-cola, power armor, the fucking hand of a deathclaw, or better yet one of the fuckers eggs? Because that's all I can think of that could prove that I'm from a different world, or alternate universe, or whatever."

"…"

"… Ozpin, please don't tell me that you actually believe this... madness she is just throwing at us. For all we know she could be making this all up!"

The stoic Headmaster responded with a sip of his drink, but besides that his expression stayed the same. Which is to say the bastard had the best poker face Alice had ever seen. Hell the old man may as well have been a stone statue with his expression, and it was kinda creeping her out in a way. Thankfully he finally made the executive decision to change his face from neutral to a slight smile before he began to talk.

"If what you say is true then that would mean you have no money, or identification that would work in this world."

"um... yeah... unless you guys accept NCR dollars, Legion Denarius, or bottle caps as currency."

"Then in that case I have a proposal for you. How would you like to teach here at Beacon?"

And for once that day, possible ever, both Alice and blondie agreed on one thing. Ozpin had fucking lost it. And in unison they made this statement quite clear to the Headmaster.

"Have you fucking lost it?!"

"Why the hell would you hire this thug?!"

"What kind of fucking school hires a fucking mercenary?! Also fuck you too blondie!"

Undeterred by the sudden outburst from his assistant and his potential employee Ozpinkeeped the slight smile on his face as he took another sip from his mug. His smile only grew further as both Alice and Glynda started to argue with each other about anything and everything. He watched for a few more minutes before he intervened just as the two of them went to draw their weapons.

"To answer your question Alice, Beacon is a school dedicated to the training of hunters and huntresses. These men and women risk their lives to protect the us from the creatures of Grimm, the very creatures that attacked you before you arrived here. Our duty is to make sure the future generations of these warrior's are prepared for whatever is thrown at them, and see as you have ample experience in combat I feel like you could be a useful member of the team. That is if you and Glynda don't kill each other in the next few minutes."

Many things were going on in Alice's mind as Ozpin described the role of his school. But here mind keep coming back to two key points. She had no money that would work here, and the fact that she had never taught anyone anything except the misfits at camp golf. Though the last point wasn't really worth much as pretty much anyone could have taught those guys. In the end however there was a job being presented to here and she wasn't about to skip a chance to earn caps, or whatever these fuckers used as currency.

"Ah, fuck it. You got yourself a deal Oz."

Author's Notes

And this months excuse for late chapter is, *insert drum roll*, lack of inspiration! I'll be honest I had a ton of ideas for the meeting between Alice and Ozpin. One of my favorite ideas was Alice getting the proposal as she was drinking and do a spit take that would hit Glynda or Ozpin. But because of how I left the previous chapter and started this chapter I couldn't really use any of those ideas. So I had to go back to the drawing board and do a lot of rewriting. On the bright side this chapter isn't as late as the previous one so I call that a win. Moving on to something entirely different, I'm going to have Alice give nicknames to the member's of team RWBY because why the fuck not. I already have two down which are High roller for Weiss (because she rich) and Gun runner for Ruby. I'm not too sure on Ruby's nickname though, and that's where you guys come in! If you want to leave a suggestion for a nickname PM me or leave it in a review. Speaking of reviews, don't forget to leave them as (again) any critics are helpful. And lastly, thank you to everyone who has followed and favorited this story between the creation of this chapter and the last one. It always makes me happy to know people actually enjoy this one man adventure into writing.

Slippingharpy: Dude you should have seen the store floor during the week before Christmas, it was packed beyond belief. And it wasn't that people were buying a lot, on average I would say maybe 2-6 pounds of various fishes, it was the fact that there was just so many people buying fish. But anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter and have a good day.

Akshka: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter man. I hope this chapter did the same as well.

METALHELLSPAWN: First off cool name dude. And secondly, she's not going to learn to not talk shit about other peoples weapons. Just not so much that she gets the shit knocked out of her. Also for the falling part, I'm glad you liked it as it was kinda a spur of the moment kind of thing but I just ran with it. So I'm glad it made someone smile and I hope something else in this chapter does the same.