Riley awoke the next morning as the sun beat down through the window. She grabbed her phone to check the time. It was 7 am, an hour before school started and 15 minutes before Maya would be there to pick her up.

She loved Maya so much, more than anyone else in the world really. And she knew Maya loved her back. She knew her parents loved her and that Farkle and Lucas loved her too. Even Zay and Smackle cared for her. The problem was: it wasn't enough. She still felt sad. And to make matters worse, she felt guilty for their love not being enough.

After being trapped by her thoughts first thing in the morning, Riley got up and put a long-sleeved black shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. Brushing her teeth felt like it took forever, but she did it because stinky breath was not something Riley ever wanted to have. Then, she put on her deodorant.

Before she left her bathroom, she eyed the razor she had used the night before to cut her wrist. She rolled up her sleeve and found a place on her arm that hadn't been marked. Riley knew she was lucky that the night before when her parents had checked her wrist, they only saw the one that was bleeding badly. This reminded her to put a bandage on her two cuts and hide her razor in her bathroom drawer.

Not even two minutes later, she heard Maya come in through her window and say, "Where you at Riles?"

"In here, Peaches," Riley called from her bathroom, "Be out in a second."

"Okay honey!" Maya explained.

Riley then met Maya in her room and they both walked to the kitchen where Topanga had toasted some chocolate chip waffles.

"Ooooh, I don't mind if I do eat breakfast here today," Maya exclaimed, "I love chocolate chip waffles!"

"I know you do sweetheart," responded Topanga, and then looking at Riley, said, "You better eat this today."

"Okay Mom," Riley agreed.

Riley took a bite out of her waffle and chewed it slowly. It was hard to swallow, but she managed to eat about half a waffle.

Topanga looked at her beautiful daughter with sad eyes, and said, "Is that all you're gonna eat, Riley?"

"Yea, mom. I'm just not that hungry...I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I love you sweetie." Topanga responded and kissed her daughter's forehead and gave Maya a hug.

Soon after that, Riley and Maya headed to the subway. The walk to the subway and the ride to school were both uneventful.

Upon arriving at the school, Maya asked Riley if she was going to participate in gym today.

"I guess," replied Riley.

They arrived in the gym and they both went to the locker room. Maya changed out in the open and Riley usually did too, but today, she chose to change in one of the restroom stalls. This made Maya suspicious, but she stayed silent.

Riley came out of the bathroom in a hoodie and a pair of shorts. Maya became even more suspicious because of the hoodie, so she questioned the brunette, "Why are you wearing a hoodie? It's gonna get like really hot in the gym."

"I'm just cold, I guess." replied Riley.

"Okay..." Maya wanted to believe Riley, but she just didn't. There was a feeling in her gut that told her Riley was lying, but she didn't want to believe her best friend, the girl she loved more than anyone in the world, was lying to her.

Riley wasn't cold at all. As a matter of fact, she was starting to sweat and they hadn't even started to play whatever the hell they were gonna play today (it looked like they would be playing kickball again).

Riley knew that Maya was probably suspicious of her hoodie and her behavior lately. However, she just couldn't tell her what was going on, even though she wanted to so badly.

While everyone else was playing kickball, Riley did her best to not interact with anyone other than Maya. She was never exactly a person who was good at sports. However, that day, she didn't even try. She just kinda stood there and did what she could to avoid doing any physical activity. When she had to kick the ball, she would just kick it in the wrong direction on purpose. Despite being as inactive as she could be, she was still sweating. By the end of the period, Riley was sweating profusely causing Maya to eye her with concern.

"Are you okay Riles?" questioned Maya.

"I'm fine."

"Then why are you all sweaty?"

"I'm just a little hot."

"Why not take your hoodie off then?"

"Well, it's almost time to go change anyway, so I'll feel better when I'm back in my regular clothes."

"Okay," Maya responded with a tone of disbelief.

After they changed and headed to first period, Maya looked at her best friend and said, "You would tell me if there was anything wrong right?"

"Of course, Peaches. I love you more than anything in the world." Riley responded.

It was sort of true. She did love Maya more than anyone else in the world. However, she also knew she couldn't put the burden of what she was going through onto Maya. She just couldn't do that to her best friend.

Maya nodded and hugged her best friend and they both headed to history class, which went by uneventfully. However, third period was the one class they were separated in because Riley was in an upper level science class with Farkle and Smackle. Riley headed to her science class and learned that they would be doing an experiment that day. The experiment had to do with mixing certain chemicals together.

Farkle was about to pour the chemical he had into Riley's beaker, but Riley's hands were shaking, which Farkle didn't seem to notice. Right before he was going to pour the chemical into the beaker, Riley dropped it.

The brunette felt all the eyes in the classroom turn to her and her breathing became hitched. Tears flooded Riley's eyes and she ran to the nearest bathroom, with her backpack in hand. When she reached the bathroom, she locked herself in a stall, and looked in her backpack for something she could cut herself with. It took a few minutes but she finally found a pencil sharpener that was broken, and was easily able to take the blade out of it.

She then rolled up her sleeve and found an empty spot. Sighing, she thought to herself, "You deserve this. You dropped that beaker. You ruined your chances at a good grade. You ruin everything. Everyone hates you." These self-depreciating thoughts were all it took to leave 5 horizontal marks on her arm. At first, it didn't bleed, but then all of a sudden blood came gushing out of the cuts. Feeling relief at the sight of the blood, she got some toilet paper and put pressure on her wounds. Then she got out her first aid kit from her backpack, and put three bandages on and breathed a sigh of relief. She rolled her sleeve back down and was ready to leave the stall when she heard a familiar voice say, "Riley, are you okay?"

After Riley had dropped the beaker, Farkle was confused as to why he thought he saw tears in one of his best friend's eyes and he became even more confused when he saw her run out of the classroom. Two seats behind, he heard Smackle say, "Mrs. Spitz, may I go look for Riley to make sure she's alright?"

Mrs. Spitz nodded her head. This isn't normally something she would agree to, but the brunette had seemed off for a while now. Not only that, both Riley and Smackle were spectacular students, so she knew they would come back as soon as possible.

Farkle sat there stunned. He wanted to go help Riley too, but he knew it was probably best for Smackle to, as she was another girl. Her social skills may not have always been on par with the rest of them, but she was still very compassionate and caring.

Smackle walked into the nearest girl's restroom, which is where she was sure Riley was, and saw one door closed with two converse under the first stall. Before she could stop herself from shocking Riley, she asked, "Riley, are you okay?"

"Smackle, is that you?" Riley asked.

"Yes," replied Smackle, "I came to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine, thanks," Riley said as she walked out of the stall and washed her hands. She may not have actually used the restroom, but she didn't want Smackle to think she was gross. She also splashed her face with cold water as it was still red.

"Do you wanna walk back to class together?" questioned Smackle.

"Sure," replied Riley.

They headed back to the classroom, and right before they went in, Riley asked, "Why did you come check on me?"

"Because you're my friend and I care about you. Lots of people do."

"Oh," was all Riley managed to respond as they both returned to their seats. Mrs. Spitz acted like nothing had happened and Riley was beyond grateful for that.

She wondered if what Smackle said was true. Did lots of people really care about her or was that just something she said to make her feel better? Riley's thoughts were the epitome of conflicting. Because if people cared about her, why did she still feel the need to cut herself? Why did she hate herself so much when people supposedly loved her? She didn't have the answers, but she knew one thing for sure: she was going to try to beat this, whatever the hell it was.