Disclaimer: I do not own Yuna.

...Oh, or squaresoft.

Author's Note: Edited 1-24-06. Could you all do me a favor by informing me of any grammatical errors that I may have missed so that my OCD doesn't drive me to insanity and possibly homicide?

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Way # 3 - Rocket Launcher, Perhaps?

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Lights blasted into a billion colors as Luca stadium was being filled with Lady Yuna's fans. The crowds went wild as Yuna, in her sad copy of Lenne's songstress outfit, came skipping in on the stage, smiling.

"Hi everyone!" Yuna giggled as the rows of fans reached out to her. "I'm back! Due to popular demand, of course."

"Ahhhh!" The crowd roared in response.

Yuna momentarily was hit with a bout of sadness as she remembered that her cousin Rikku could not attend the performance.

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Flashback

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"Oh Rikku! I am going to have a concert tonight!" Yuna was positively batty over the CommSphere.

"Oh yeah, uh.. about that... I can't make it?"

"What?" Yuna batted her lashes, her eyes watering. "Why not?"

"Cause... Uhm.. I have cancer," Rikku coughed.

"Oh."

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End Flashback

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Wiping away a few stray tears, Yuna said, "Well, I am going to be singing 1000 words, just like at the Thunder Plains!"

Meanwhile...

Rikku sat hunched over, eyes glittering dangerously in an insanely, freaky, must.. have.. blood.. sort of way. Looking down from her hidden spot overlooking the stadium, Rikku clenched her rocket launcher possessively. She was softly singing a very different version of 1000 words.

I know you're a stupid bitch,

Aim.

Using pretty lies to piss me off,

"Muahahahahaha!"

Your lies were total crap,

And crap has never fooled me,

Not in the past week,

Rikku temporarily dropped her rocket launcher to do The Monkey.

Save your tears 'cause I'll come back (with a chain saw, too)

Break dance - "Oh yeah!"

I could hear that you screamed as I guillotined your head,

Sheepishly grinning, she picked the RL back up.

But still I tried,

To hide the blood,

As I went to hide the body,

Rikku aimed - errr, re-aimed.

Cremation might have been the answer,

What if I hadn't stopped to buy that slurpee at K-Mart?

But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart...

Fire.

"One... Two... Thre- Oh, look! A nickel!" The rocket launcher crashed to the ground as Rikku bent down to pick up the shiny coin.

The whole audience turned and faced Rikku's hiding spot. A little girl with blonde pigtails shouted out, "Oh, no! Yuna's jealous and spiteful Al Bhed cousin has plotted a malicious assassination attempt on our savior and, using secret Ninja techniques passed down from the Chowpungkailoochanghu family, is above us right now with a rocket launcher this very moment!"

The audience gasped.

Yuna smiled.

"Uh..." Rikku gulped. "Uhm.. That Yuna's a fake!"

"What?"

"KILL!"

And so the angry mob slash audience stoned Yuna to death with various carbonated beverages and junk food boxes.

Rikku was rewarded and thanked for unmasking the evil impostor.

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The End

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A/N: Kwee. On to the next... Erm, 997 ways...
Thank you for the reviews. I'll take you off my KOs list.