A New Stabler Direction

From her seat by the window, Kathy had a clear view of Elliot as he approached the restaurant. He was dressed for court in a dark blue suit and as he strode down the sidewalk, he looked confident, powerful and very handsome. He spotted her as he came through the door, his eyes lighting up as he walked across the room.

Those eyes! They'd been melting her heart since they met in their senior year at St. Augustine's High School all those years ago. Intensely, sparkling blue, Elliot's eyes mirrored his every emotion. Right now, they looked happy and content as he leaned in to give her a soft kiss then slid into the booth across from her.

He looked across to where Eli sat next to her, sound asleep in his car seat.

"The appointment wore him out," explained Kathy. "He was not at all happy about getting a booster shot and screamed his little lungs out. "Fell asleep in the car on the way over here."

"Poor tyke" said Elliot, picking up his menu. "But it gives us a chance to eat in peace—when's the last time that happened?"

They gave their order to the waiter and sat, exchanging small talk as they waited for their food to arrive. Kathy filled him in on the details of Eli's Wellness Visit: he was right on target for all of his developmental milestones, 50th percentile for height and weight. Then she asked him about the case that had called him in early that morning.

In the past, Elliot would have brushed her off and told her just enough to get her off his back. He didn't like to talk about his work, feeling he needed to protect his family from the horrors he saw every day on the job. In their counseling sessions, it became clear that this urge to protect made Kathy unable to related to his job and see it as something alien that kept him away from his family too much of the time, and risked his life on top of it.

"It was pretty bad," he said, reaching across the table for her hand. He turned it over and stroked the inside of her palm as he talked, not meeting her eyes. "A young girl, about Lizzie's age, a prostitute we think. She was raped and strangled and left in an alley."

"How awful," said Kathy. "Do you have any idea who she is?"

"We're assuming she's a runaway and searching through the missing person reports, hoping that will lead to an ID. And of course, no one heard or saw anything in the neighborhood. A bodega owner found the body when he opened up the store and took the trash out to the alley."

Kathy sighed. "I can't imagine a girl as young as Lizzie even being involved in something like that, let alone ending up dead."

"I know." Said Elliot. They sat in silence for a few moments, holding hands across the table. Kathy was about to speak when the waiter arrived with their food. Eli slept through the clattering of dishes and silverware and grating of cheese without moving a muscle.

"He's going to be sorry when he wakes up and sees his missed out on pasta." Said Elliot, digging in to his own plate. Kathy, in anticipation of just that event, had already set some plain pasta aside on her bread plate to cool.

When they had finished their meal and were waiting for coffee, Kathy sat up a little straighter and looked at Elliot.

"I was really happy when you suggested this," she said cautiously. "Because there is something I've wanted to talk to you about." She could see the alarm flare in Elliot's eyes. "Nothing bad!" she assured him. "But I've been thinking about making some changes and I want to see what you thought."

"Ok," said Elliot, slowly. He pushed his plate aside and sat looking at her, totally focused. Kathy could see the wheels spinning in his head. The last time she'd told him they needed to talk, she'd dropped the bomb that she was leaving him, taking the kids and going to her mother's.

She took a deep breath. "I'd like to start taking some college classes." She blurted out. "I've been looking at the course schedules at City University and I'd like to start in January."

The waiter brought their coffee, and sensing he was interrupting, left quickly. Elliot picked up his cup and took a long sip before answering.

"What about him?" he asked, nodding at the sleeping baby.

"There's a day care center on campus," she said, and noting the instant flare in his eyes, continued quickly. "It would only be for a few hours a week, just while I'm in class. I'd start out part-time and see how it goes. It's a great day care, it's run by the Early Childhood Education department, and students do their practicum there, under direct supervision of the professors who teach the courses. You couldn't ask for a better set up."

Elliot was quiet, holding his coffee cup and watching her face. They'd agreed long ago, when they married at twenty, expecting their first baby, that she'd be a stay-at-home mom. They didn't want their kids being raised by strangers. It had been difficult financially at times to have only one income, but they'd managed. But at what cost?

"I know how you—how we- feel—about day care." She went on. "But it's different with Eli. The other kids—they all had each other. Maureen and Kathleen came so close together, and the twins had each other. But Eli—he's going to be like an only child in few years. It will be good for him to be around other kids."

Elliot nodded and she went on. "And Els….I need this. I really do. I've been a wife and a mother for the past twenty years. I've loved it—well, most of it," she shrugged, because it was impossible to pretend the difficult times hadn't ever happened. "But I'm 40, and I've never done anything for ME. You've got a job you love—"she looked at him pointedly and he nodded. "I've never had that. I'd …..I'd like to see what else I can be, besides a wife and mother."

Elliot sat forward, pushing his coffee cup aside and taking her hands in his. "I can see you've thought a lot about this, Kath. What do you want to go to college FOR? What do you want to do?"

She took another deep breath. "I'd like to study psychology, counseling. I think maybe I'd like to be a counselor." He looked at her, expressionless. . "All that we've been through, with Kathleen and her bipolar disorder, and your job…and then, when I saw how much Dr. Cooper was able to help us in marriage counseling…it all makes me wonder; maybe I could do something like that. It's something I could do part-time, while Eli is in school."

Elliot stood up and walked around to her side of the booth and slid in next to her. He kissed her and then touched his forehead to hers. "Kath, if this is what you want to do, I think it's great."

She pulled back to look at him. "You do?" she asked in amazement. "I was sure you were going to pitch a fit."

He shrugged. "A few years ago, I probably would have. I can't say I'm thrilled about Eli being in day care, but I can live with it for a few hours a week." He bent forward to kiss her again. "I want you to be happy, Kathy. I want that more than anything. You and our family are everything to me." Kathy smiled back at him, tears in her eyes. "And I think you'd make a great counselor. You've managed to keep this family together for all of these years. "

She snuggled up close to him, her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking about the different direction this choice would take the Stablers. Suddenly, Elliot looked at his watch and slid out of the booth. "I've got to get to court—I'm due on the stand in fifteen minutes. Where did you park?"

"Actually," she said, slipping out after him "I was thinking of coming to watch you in court."

He looked at her in amazement. In all of the years of his job, Kathy had rarely come to the station, and never to the court house. "Why?" he asked.

She reached over, straightened the lapels on his suit and tugged at the cobalt blue tie that brought out the sparkle in his eyes. "I like to see you in action." She said, smiling. She leaned in closer and whispered in his ear. "It makes me kind of hot."

Elliot drew back and looked at her, his face breaking into his trademark lop-sided grin. "Ok, then." He said, picking up still sleeping Eli in his car seat. "Let's go."