Swivel Chairs and Naquadah

It had started out so innocently. Well, as innocently as any brainchild can be when borne from the minds of Jack O'Neill and Vala Mal Doran. Seriously, though, the SGC should have seen this coming. Jack was stuck on base for some ridiculous meetings with the IOA and Vala had been grounded due to an...unfortunate off-word incident. The rest of the team were off doing their own thing and they were bored.

Six hours ago...

Jack wiped a hand over his face as he made his way to Danny's office even though he knew the man was off-world. He was actually looking for his favourite alien accomplice. He'd just come from one of the most mind-numbing meetings in the history of mind-numbingness and he knew Vala was always good for a laugh. He found her exactly as he'd expected; twirling her hair and spinning in a swivel chair.

"Yo, Vala!" he called out.

"Hey, Jack," she responded, not even bothering to halt her antics.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I was thinking about hacking into the IOA's mainframe and redirecting some emails, but I just did that last week. Too easy."

"I'll make sure to tell them they need better security so it's more of a challenge next time." he said drily, not the least bit fazed by her confession.

"Thank you, darling." She beamed, finally stopping to look at him. "Are you free to leave the base yet?"

"Nope." he grumbled, taking a seat across from her.

"Bumper."

"Bummer." he corrected.

"Whatever." She shrugged and started spinning again. "Wanna go to the commissary?"

"What's cookin'?"

"Looked like meatloaf."

Jack grunted his distaste and started spinning with Vala.

"Good, because I think it may actually have been chicken." Vala spun faster. "And they ran out of red Jell-O hours ago."

"Of course, they did." Jack snorted as he spied a tray of empty cups on the desk as he made another rotation. They went on silently spinning for a few moments when Vala broke in.

"Who invented the swizzle chair?"

"Huh?" The random (even for Vala) question caught Jack off-guard and he nearly fell from his seat as he abruptly stopped.

"The swizzle chair, who invented it?" Vala effortlessly stopped her own and turned to him.

"Swivel chair, and how the hell am I supposed to know? That's something to ask Danny...or Teal'c."

"Well, they're not here so I'm stuck with you."

"Thanks a lot."

"Oh, you know what I mean. Never mind, I'll just Google it."

"You would get that one right." he grumbled.

Vala ignored him and booted up Daniel's computer. She prattled on about how the Tau'ri come up with the craziest contraptions so he tuned her out. It was a few minutes before he realised she'd stopped talking and he turned back with a suspicious glare. She had that look in her eyes, the one that always spelt trouble for him. Glancing over her shoulder, he noticed she was now on YouTube.

"I bet we could do this way better." she told him.

"Yeah, we could add jet packs." he responded sarcastically.

"Don't be silly, there are no jet packs on base. But a small naquadah generator could be-"

"No! Absolutely not!" he argued, letting her know she was not getting around him this time. Not even when she pouted...and started that damn trick with the single tear...Crap! How the hell did she do that, anyway?

Present time...

Hank Landry heard loud shouts emanating from the corridor near the science labs and he carefully led Woolsey in that direction. He had a bad feeling about this...

"You cheated!" Siler yelled, pointing a bloody hand in Vala's direction.

"I did not!" Vala challenged, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "It's not my fault you don't know the first thing about naquadah-powered motors."

"It-You-I don't-" Siler spluttered.

"Good, we agree." Vala smirked then looked down at his hand in concern. "Perhaps you should have Carolyn take a look at that hand, darling."

"Already on it." Caro stepped out of the crowd and grabbed the poor man's arm. "C'mon, Siler, you're regular bed's empty. Walter, bring my winnings to the infirmary."

"You got it, doc." Walter shouted as he stood collecting money.

"What the hell is going on?" Landry shouted, taking in the spectacle before him.

"Ah, General." Vala smiled brightly, sauntering up to him with a wad of cash in her hands and a guilty looking Jack behind her. "You just missed the races."

"The what?!"

"The swizzle-"

"Swivel" Jack interrupted.

"Right, the swivel chair races. Jack and I won. Well, mostly me because I built the motor but Jack was here for mortal support."

"Moral." Jack supplied before catching himself. "Why am I helping you?"

"Is that what you're doing?" Anywho, Siler bet me that he could build a better motor so, of course, I had to disabuse him of such a notion. Oh, hello, Mr. Woolsey!" Vala sent a cheery wave over Hank's shoulder to the dour little weasel man.

Landry stared speechless for a full minute before finally coming back to himself. "Miss Mal Doran, Sergeant Harriman, get this damn mess cleaned up! Jack, Mr. Woolsey and I were looking for you. We're about to start another meeting, if you would care to join us."

"Can't think of anything I'd rather be doing." Jack answered then grumbled under his breath. "Except maybe getting abducted by aliens and experimented on...again."

"And, Miss Mal Doran, you're officially ungrounded. In fact, you leave tomorrow morning at 0700 with SG-11 to consult on...whatever the hell they need. You'll be gone for a week."

"Thank you, General." Vala grinned and skipped off down the hall.

Hank rolled his eyes, wondering if this had all been some elaborate plan to get herself off-world. Shaking off the thought, Hank led Jack and Woolsey toward the conference room. It wasn't worth the migraine to figure out Vala Mal Doran.

The End