Disclaimer: I own everything. HA!

Spinoza-off: I totally busted out laughing at your "Wren might have soft lips" comment, tehe. And yes, I love dream sequences. Dreams are awesome because they can be interpreted in so many ways, being the window to the subconscious and all.

Gaby2angel: Ssshhh… Just wait. ;)

LaughLoveLiveXx: Yeah, I'm bad at writing anyone drunk so, I just make them tumble because it's my specialty when I'm drunk.

Cha: Say thank you to your dad from me. ;D and funny you should mention Shay being half Filipino, I make note of that in chapter 6.

Anonymous person who said Spence & Em need to realize they want to fuck each other: You made me laugh way too loud at 2AM, but I agree.

Author's Note: Hmm, perhaps a love square is on the way?

Let no love fall victim to circumstance…

Circumstance

The entire night, Emily was in and out of sleep, waking up at the slightest crack the house would make. Or to a car driving down the street. A far away ambulance. Everything woke her up and she welcomed it as she had been plagued with dreams she couldn't quite remember but knew they involved a dead Alison, Maya breaking her heart, Paige trying to run her over- like that would ever happen- and a missing Spencer. The last one scared her the most. Spencer never returned her phone calls or her texts. Or anyone else's and when they called the Hastings home, there was no answer there either. All Emily could think about was finding Spencer much like Alison; dead and buried and that thought scared her hopelessly. She felt hopeless and guilty because a part of her, a big part actually, felt Spencer's disappearance was her doing. She was so ready to take someone else from Spencer's life away from her she didn't stop to think how Spencer would feel. Melissa and her may not have always gotten along but they were still sisters and Melissa was still a big part of Spencer's life and she had already lost Toby, she was drifting further away from her parents from what Emily could tell and there Emily was, ready to send someone else away. What kind of friend was she?

Needless to say, not only was she exhausted during school, she was anxious. Spencer not showing up didn't help her anxiety at all. At lunch she sat with Aria and Hanna and noticed they both looked a little troubled. "Either of you heard from Spencer?" she asked. Both Aria and Hanna shook their heads.

"I'm sure she's okay. She's just probably ignoring us," Aria said.

"Or Melissa stuffed her in the trunk of a car," Hanna added. It came off as cruel, but Hanna was genuinely concerned and she also felt incredibly guilty, much like Emily and Aria. Hanna had been the worst, however, and she knew it. After a lot of thinking, she knew she was in the wrong for jumping the gun and being so angry with Spencer. She was still angry, but not at Spencer or anyone else except herself.

"Hanna," Aria scolded, "Not funny."

"I wasn't trying to be," Hanna snapped, "Look, I know I was being stupid last night and I feel bad but I still don't trust Melissa. I probably never will. And if Spencer met up with her last night who knows what happened. Who knows if Melissa was still angry about Ian or Wren or whatever thing of Melissa's Spencer broke when she was three. Just because they're sisters doesn't mean we can trust Melissa."

Though Hanna had a point, Aria didn't think the situation would be that extreme, or so she'd hope. "We can't be jumping to conclusions. After school, we'll just go to Spencer's and see if she's home. Maybe she just decided to skip today."

Emily nodded hoping that was the case. Maybe Spencer was just mentally exhausted and needed to take a personal day off.

The rest of the day passed slowly, each class seemed like an eternity and when 3:00 came, Emily was overjoyed. She couldn't wait to get off the grounds and hurry to Spencer's. She quickly made her way to her locker to put some books away and was surprised to find Paige standing there, leaning against the lockers. She slowly approached her with a curious smile on her face, "Paige?"

"Emily!" Paige exclaimed and stood up straight, "Hey."

"Hi."

Paige fidgeted on her feet, obviously a little nervous. "So, did you hear back from Spencer?"

Emily's face fell, "No." She sighed and began the combination of her locker.

"No?"

"No. She hasn't called or texted, and she didn't come to school today."

"You think she skipped today?"

Emily finished gathering what she needed and closed her locker. "That's what we're hoping. We're actually going to her house right now." She began walking with Paige following her.

"Oh, okay, then, well text me if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure." Emily smiled and stopped and looked at Paige, "And thank you. For just listening."

"No problem." Paige smiled back and they held each other's gaze for a moment before Paige said, "See ya." Then she turned and walked away.

Emily stood and stared at Paige for a moment longer, wondering exactly why she was staring, but didn't pay too much attention to it. She had a funny feeling, she couldn't quite say what kind of funny feeling, be it good, bad or other, but she had one and she couldn't dwell on it right then, she had something to do, somewhere to be.

Aria and Hanna were waiting at her car when she got there. They wasted no time and drove directly to Spencer's. Once they got there they noticed Spencer's car in the driveway. There was a small wave of relief that washed over the girls, but at the same time it made them more anxious. Now it was more than a need to find Spencer, it was almost as if they wanted to scold her for making them worry so much.

The girls all but ran up to the door. Emily got there first and rang the doorbell. Aria pulled out her phone and dialed Spencer's cell. After a minute, Emily rang the bell again and knocked. "Spencer? Mrs. Hastings?" she called out.

Aria hung up the phone, "She's not answering."

"Damnit," Hanna breathed. "I'll go around back, maybe she's in the barn." Hanna left without waiting for a response from either Emily or Aria.

Again Emily knocked at the door, this time a little too hard and with more urgency and finally the door opened and revealed a very haggard looking Spencer with bags under her eyes, paler than usual, and hair all mangled.

"Spencer," Emily said as her and Aria both wrapped their arms around Spencer, who groaned in response. "Where have you been!" she shouted more as a scolding statement than a question.

"Oh damnit!" Hanna shouted as she rounded the corner and got back on the porch, "You jerk! You had us all worried!"

"You look awful," Aria said once she got a good look at Spencer, "Are you hung over?"

"Were you drinking?" Emily said.

Spencer groaned again "Don't lecture me," she mumbled as she walked back inside, leaving the door open for the other girls to follow, "Last one in closes the door."

The girls followed Spencer inside, Aria being the last one closed the door. Spencer didn't even look back as she plopped herself back down on the couch and covered herself with the blanket, turned her head away from her friends and closed her eyes. There was thick tension in the air, so thick they could have cut it with a knife, but Spencer didn't care. Her hangover had been lasting all day, even after eating a big, greasy cheeseburger- which did help a bit- and consuming about two gallons of water making her urinate about 20 times that day. She didn't care that they were standing there staring at her. She could feel them staring at her expectantly, wanting information from her. Wanting to know if she had spoken to Melissa and where she had been. She read their texts and heard their messages, most of them anyways. Well, just Emily's to be honest. Emily's voice was the only one she cared to hear, but she wouldn't admit to it right then.

"Spence?" Emily tentatively asked.

"Hmm?" Spencer didn't bother moving nor opening her eyes.

"Okay, Spencer, you've got to start talking," Hanna said.

"Yeah, Spence, what happened last night?" Aria asked.

"And why didn't you return any of our calls or texts?" Emily added.

Spencer opened her eyes finally and brought her head up to look at her friends, "Oh, now you want to hear what I have to say?" She couldn't help the bitterness in her voice.

"Spence-"

"C'mon, that's not fair," Aria tried to reason, "We got scared. There's too many people involved now."

"Yeah, people we didn't expect," Hanna added.

Spencer scoffed and closed her eyes again, vertigo hitting her slightly. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her mouth. She was very angry and hurt with her friends, she really didn't feel that she owed them any explanation. Opening her eyes again she glanced toward them and their pathetic faces. Aria, with her big eyes, looked at her like a child ready to receive big news, Hanna looking annoyed, but that was just the face she wore when she was nervous, not wanting to show people what she was really feeling. But Emily, now she wore her emotions on her face and her heart on her sleeve and Spencer's strong resolve faded when she saw Emily's pleading eyes. Emily, who was always first when any of them were in trouble. Emily who'd grabbed the stick and charged forward when they all thought Alison had been in trouble- oh, what a wicked joke that was- Emily the first to reach her and wrap her arms around her shaken body that night in the church tower when she was sure she was going to die at the hands of Ian.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to Melissa," Spencer finally admitted, "She was having pains and I took her to the hospital thinking there might have been something wrong with the baby." Although Spencer felt the tension lighten a bit, she felt their anxiousness at the continuation of her story. "And I," she started, but hesitated. Did she really want to tell them a variation of the reason she'd gotten drunk? She supposed it didn't matter, they knew she had to say something about drinking as "hangover" was written all over her face. Hell, it might as well have been tattooed on her forehead. "I got drunk because I ran into Wren. I went to his apartment and passed out."

"What?" the girls exclaimed all at once.

"Ow," Spencer said, covering her ears, "Not so loud."

"He didn't take advantage of you, did he?" Aria slowly asked.

"What?" Spencer asked in disbelief, "No. Of course not." She adjusted herself on the couch before continuing, "Not that I didn't try to do something with him."

"Whoa," Hanna said with an approving smile, "Go Spencer!"

Emily glanced at Hanna angrily. She did not want to hear someone egging on someone else about drinking then having sex. But she didn't say anything. She really didn't want to start some kind of uncomfortable debate about drinking and sex and mixing both of them when one is broken hearted. And besides, the thought of Spencer and Wren made Emily feel uneasy. She couldn't quite get why, but it did. So she kept her mouth shut and crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Spencer to say something else.

"Yeah, well," Spencer said, "He didn't go along with it and anyways, I passed out on his couch. Then fell off of it at some point because I woke up on the floor and threw up."

"Ew."

"Thanks, Han." Though it was sarcastic, Spencer couldn't help but smile and let out a small laugh. Leave it to Hanna to be unintentionally insensitive, but in a funny way.

"Take it from me," Hanna started as she sat on the coffee table, "I've had my experience with drinking and throwing up isn't fun."

"Neither is the headache or the dizziness."

"You need a ton of water and greasy foods."

"I know. I drank a swimming pool's worth of water and ate a cheeseburger. I swear it was a battle just to keep that down."

Hanna giggled, "What'd you drink?"

"Tequila… And wine… I think."

"Whoa!" Hanna exclaimed proudly, "Who knew you had it in you?"

"Okay, Hanna, calm down," Aria finally said, "It's just tequila."

"Yeah, and Spencer downing it."

"Downed too much," Spencer groaned.

The girls all talked, they were all just trying to get back to normalcy, Spencer trying desperately to fight the dizziness that still plagued her, and Emily just couldn't understand why Spencer felt she had to drink alcohol to make herself feel better. Sure she had done it herself once upon a time, but it was Spencer who'd taken care of her and saw what it did to her. Saw what she felt like, more angry than anything. Angry and hopeless. It was hard to wrap her mind around Spencer's lack of communication, though the more she thought about it, the more she realized; Spencer felt alienated. That was why she chose to drink her sorrows away instead of ask for help, just the way she herself did when Maya deliberately ignored her after being sent off to juvie camp.

Just then, Emily's phone beeped and everyone jumped and looked at her expecting the worst news. She looked down at her phone and she smiled a smile of relief when she saw it was just Paige, "Any word on Spencer?" it read.

"It's just Paige," Emily confirmed as she sent a reply.

"Paige?" Hanna asked, almost disgustedly.

"McCullers?" Spencer all but shouted.

Emily was taken back for a moment wondering why the outbursts from her friends. At least Aria hadn't said anything except look at her questioningly. "Yes, McCullers."

"What'd she want?" Spencer asked, almost sarcastically.

Figuring it was best to bend the truth a little, Emily didn't want to admit to talking to Paige about this particularly delicate situation, no matter how little information she gave Paige, Emily said, "Just checking in about the swim program."

"She's being nice? She hasn't tried to drown you yet?"

"She didn't try to drown me," Emily said with annoyance. It had gotten old a long time ago everyone thinking Paige deliberately attempted to drown her. She knew it wasn't like that, not really. Sure, Paige was being a jerk, but wasn't it that when someone liked someone else, weren't they always a jerk? Didn't they say "when a boy likes you, they usually treat you a little mean," or something to that affect? Although Paige was definitely not a boy, the concept still applied.

"So you guys are on speaking terms? She didn't get all threatened when you re-joined the swim team?" Hanna asked.

Emily shook her head enthusiastically, "Actually, no. She welcomed me right away." It had been true, Paige even hugged her and everything. For a moment, and it was a moment that didn't happen too often, Emily felt compelled to tell her friends the truth about her and Paige's relationship, or lack thereof. Or previous? Whatever the case may be, she had never told them about her backwards relationship. It wasn't like Paige was in the closet anymore anyways. And what would her friends do? Put out an article in the town's newspaper? "Also, I wanted to tell you guys something," she paused and looked at her friends. They all seemed very interested, "Paige is gay too."

"What?" Spencer exclaimed.

"No way!" Hanna nearly shouted.

"Wow," Aria gasped.

"Wait," it was Spencer and the gears in her mind began to turn, "Let me get this straight, she bullied you, dunked your head under water, made anti-gay comments and she was gay herself?" Emily nodded. "Huh. It makes sense. It was some self hating psychological thing the whole time."

"And we dated," Emily added, "Sort of."

This time everyone was speechless and Emily swore their eyes were bulging out of their eye sockets. It was Aria who spoke, "Come again?"

"We dated when she told me she was gay but it didn't work out because she didn't want to come out of the closet."

"But she's out now," Aria said.

"She is, and she's a totally different person," Emily said with admiration, "She's so much nicer, more confident, and just all around," she paused to find the right word, "Better."

Hanna and Aria were both obviously having trouble digesting this, but both seemed to be accepting. Accepting what exactly? Emily couldn't say, it wasn't as if she was ready to start dating Paige again. Or anyone for that matter. Not so soon after Maya had left. But then again, her and Maya were having problems ever since the disastrous dinner with her mother and Maya lying to her face just broke her heart. But what hurt the most was that Maya had been ignoring her calls yet again then sent a picture of herself at the Golden Gate Bridge to say goodbye as if teasing her, saying "haha, made it without you." Then Emily noticed Spencer almost glaring at her. She knew Spencer would have the biggest problem accepting her friendship with Paige since they had known each other since freshman year and butted heads. Much like she and Paige used to now that she thought about it.

"So are you going to date her now?" Spencer asked, almost venomously. It made her upset to her stomach, it was something she just couldn't, or rather wouldn't, swallow. She'd always despised Paige McCullers and when she'd bullied Emily she'd sworn she'd confront her instead of going to the coach if she bullied her again. It didn't surprise Spencer how forgiving Emily was, but what she didn't understand was how Emily could be interested in Paige so soon after Maya. She had thought Emily was in love with Maya. She just couldn't understand. Just like you're in love with Toby and go and try to sleep with Wren? the Other Voice asked. Inwardly Spencer rolled her eyes, she really didn't feel like having a battle of wits with her darker self. Not yet anyways.

"No," Emily replied, not sounding confident. "I dunno. I'm not exactly ready," she tried to say convincingly.

"Well, whatever the case," Aria said, "We can be understanding and supportive. Right guys?" Leave it to Aria, the one with the most unconventional relationship among them, to say something like that.

Both Spencer and Hanna stared a moment longer. Hanna's lips tight, she was almost chewing on the corner of her mouth but then she closed her eyes and shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

"Guys," Emily said, "It's not something that's gonna happen right away," she nervously laughed.

Spencer still hadn't said anything.

"Just saying that whatever the case is, whatever you decide," Aria said with a supporting smile.

And still, Spencer hadn't said anything.

SSS

An hour or so passed and the girls finally decided to leave Spencer to rest and over come her hang over, she did have school tomorrow anyways. It was at night that Spencer finally let her mind wander and she thought of the dream she'd had at Wren's. Of course it was of some perfect reality where everything worked out. Didn't all dreams give the dreamer that? It was cruel because Spencer truly felt all the warm emotions, the love and happiness and she longed for it. It was a world without A and without the craziness of secrets that Alison made up.

Alison.

Though Spencer did consider Alison her friend, a good friend, possibly her best friend, after Emily of course, she couldn't help hating her. Alison and her conquering ways, seeing what she wanted and taking it not caring who she hurt. If Spencer wanted to thinking radically about it, she could have said this whole mess was Alison's fault. Her eating up everyone around her, taking over; she made an enemy. She made A.

But it was ludicrous to think like that and Spencer knew it. She was just tired and depressed. She couldn't blame Ali. There were other, worse Mean Girls in the world. A was just some crazy bitch who decided to not only bite back, but maul like a rabid mountain lion. Obviously there were a few screws loose in that mind and since they'd killed Ali, they wanted more fun because they were definitely a sociopath. Their misery was all a game.

"Stop," she said out loud. She didn't want to get riled up thinking about how horrible the past year had been, or how utterly unfair it had been. It wasn't as if she hurt people. Other than Toby, she thought to herself.

And that's when her eyes started to sting. She felt so guilty kissing Wren and trying to seduce him in her drunken state. Though she was very glad Wren was a gentleman in that he put her to sleep on his couch. But it had to have been him in her dream. Toby changed into Wren.

Are you sure? the Other Voice said.

Yes. Who else could it have been?

What does it all mean? the Other Voice was beginning to sound extremely cryptic and it was annoying Spencer.

"What does it all mean?" she asked out loud. "Hmph, it means I want normal back."

Nothing will ever be normal again, the Other Voice taunted, It never was and you know it.

It had a point and she knew it. And oh was she exhausted. Sleep came heavy on her that night and she dreamt the same perfect world again. And again, she started to kiss Toby only for him to change into the mystery person Spencer was so sure was Wren.

Morning came too fast and brutal and when she got out of bed she noticed she had a text. She rolled her eyes expecting it to be one of her friends again.

It wasn't.

"Are you SURE you can trust who you trust? Everyone's already betrayed you once. What makes you think they won't do it again? But you can ALWAYS count on ME xoxo - A"

Spencer's heart sank.

TBC…

Author's Note: Yeah, thinking I'm going to stray away from the show a bit now. I'll still add a few tid bits here and there, but it probably will only be to keep up the mystery of A because I suck at mystery.