Chapter 3

Oliver and I walked in, smirking at the couples that walked arm in arm, hand in hand, up the staircase. Ha, as if. I would never hold Oliver's arm in a million years. For once, Mimi Force was not the center of attention. If anything, she blended into the crowd more than ever.

We sat on two bar stools, sipping champagne.

"Did Schuyler ever talk to you about the masquerade night?" I asked him.

"Yeah. She said she met some guy… he was really mysterious. Or something like that. I wasn't really in it that night." He replied casually.

The pieces of that night suddenly fit together. Schuyler was at the party. Jack and I were at the party. I went to the restroom, and Jack was alone. Schuyler was alone. He would have worn something over his painted mask. He could have used the alone time to sneak around behind my back. That two-timing, cheating, disgusting, manipulative, sneaking bastard!

I hate him! I hate him! How could I not have realized! For the first time in my very long life, I had believed that Jack could, for once, be mine and mine alone! And he is still stolen from me, and I didn't even suspect a thing!

"I know who he was." I tried to calm myself and fight back my anger. I stared at the floor really hard to beat it down.

After a couple seconds, I saw realization come over Oliver's face.

"I see," he said stiffly. Looking at my intense gaze at the tiles, he asked, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that Jack is a disgusting, two-timing weasel. And I'm lecturing myself about being so stupid. All I did was go to the restroom and he still sneaks behind my back. I should have known."

Oliver asked another question almost right after. "What were the thoughts that ran through your mind when you found out?"

I took my time before answering this one. "I think that somewhere deep inside me… I had known all along. I just didn't want to believe it because I had thought that Jack was finally mine. But a couple days ago in the woods, I was eavesdropping on their conversation. They were so stupid, not looking up into the trees. Jack told her he loved her, and I… just snapped. I think my thoughts were somewhere along the lines of: You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. You're supposed to love me. You're supposed to remember me and your past. Who was there, was it Gabrielle, Schuyler, or me. Something like that. Pretty dramatic, huh?"

Oliver shrugged, "I was thinking along the lines of: You sick bastard. How dare you take away the thing that matters most to me. Go to hell. Go to hell." We smiled at each other knowingly, and I almost laughed. Almost.

We had both shared our thoughts without fault, effortlessly, and had said them so casually, like they were unimportant. Something that didn't matter. Because they didn't. No matter how many times we thought for Jack or Schuyler to go to hell, it wasn't going to happen.

I ordered a shot and downed it with one gulp. A girl walked up to where we were sitting. She wore a purple dress with black flats. A mask with purple feathers covered her face. With a voice that totally annoyed me, she said shyly, "Would… would you like to dance with me?" Her nervousness made her voice sound like a squeak and I wanted to shout at her: Find some confidence! If you're going to ask someone to dance, at least have some dignity! Where's your pride?

Oliver stared at her, as if he wasn't sure that she was addressing him.

The girl hesitantly said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realized you had a date."

She then looks at me and I wanted to gag. Oliver? My date? What the hell is wrong with her? Take him! And keep him as long as you like!

Oliver and I both began to speak, but I won. "No! He's not my date. He's a-" I couldn't bring myself to say friend. "-an acquaintance. Go ahead." I gestured to the dance floor with a smile and scowled with disgust as soon as she turned her back. He got up from the stool and looked back at me as he walked into the crowd. I put on a mocking smile and gave a teasing wave. It was obvious he didn't want to dance, especially with her.

Now that Oliver was gone, I tried to think clearly.

Jack, I know there are some times in our lives when we all have pain and sorrow. But there's always tomorrow and someone to lean on. I was wrong about that last part. I thought I had you to lean on. Every cycle, I fell in love with you. And every cycle, you broke my heart. I've leaned on you for the past few thousand years and you let me fall. Why? Why is it always me? Why do I always have to fight for your love? I shouldn't have to. Haven't you learned by now that I'll always win you back? But not this time.

I don't understand, Jack. We're soul mates and you still choose her… Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? I've been here all along so why can't you see that you belong with me? It's me, Jack. It's always been me. It's supposed to be me now. I love you. And underneath all the lies, secrets, and betrayals, I know that somewhere in that cold heart of yours you love me too.

I hadn't noticed that I'd started crying until someone said, "Miss, are you alright?"

I gasped and saw the small puddle on the bar counter. Nodding, I wiped away my tears and looked up, seeing a masked bartender looking at me concerned. I could see him smile sympathetically in the dark and plucked a tissue out of his pocket, handing it to me. I dabbed on my face to rid of the tears. "Bathroom's down the hall," he whispered. I nodded gratefully and got up.

As I walked down the hall, I wondered why he even bothered. Most bartenders would just stare obviously for long amounts of time while polishing glasses. For some odd reason, he seemed… familiar. What am I talking about? I've never met anyone here and I couldn't even see him in the dark. I entered the bathroom and gaped at myself in the mirror. Streaks ran down my face, my eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and my mascara was smeared. I sighed and wet a paper towel, wiping off the smeared makeup and tear streaks. Reapplying my makeup, I wondered how Oliver's dance was going. Smirking I returned to the bar to see Oliver sitting there. Taking my seat, I sneered, "So how'd it go? I'm sure she was a fabulous dancer."

Oliver glared at me playfully, "Oh, it was great. She stepped on my feet more than a few times, but I'll live."

I gulped down a few more shots and felt someone coming near me. I turned around. And my mouth dropped open.

What. The. Hell.

"Schuyler?" Oliver cried out. I quickly closed my slightly open mouth and composed my face into a cold, heartless, pale stone.

She softly smiled, "Hi, Ollie."

He swiftly remembered that he was angry with her and hardened his face as I had. We rose from our seats.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, anger raging. My eyes were already becoming darker.

"I wanted to find you two. I found out about the crash and knew you were on that plane. After I discovered you were Colerain, Ireland, I followed you. After searching a thousand hotels, I broke into your room and found the flyer. Look, it doesn't matter how I got here. I just wanted you to know that-"

"-that you're sorry?" Oliver cut in. "We know. And frankly, we don't care. Because it doesn't change anything."

The harsh tone in his voice surprised me. He's never angry with her. She's like his Mona Lisa. He adores her. But the venom in his voice showed that he was just as angry with her as I was. Of course, we both hated Jack more, but she wasn't off the hook. Her face fell and she looked like she wanted to reach out to Oliver, though he would never let her.

"Where's Jack?" I hissed, not giving time to recover. She shook her head to get her focus off Oliver and looked to me. She answered, "He's here."

Then I figured it all out. Jack and Schuyler discovered where we were. They followed us to the masquerade. Schuyler would blend into the crowd looking for us and Jack would be a bartender to see if we ordered any drinks. I didn't even need to turn around to know that the "bartender" was right behind me, having the same pitying, apologizing face as Schuyler. Once they found us, they would corner us and make us listen to them. But what was there to hear?

And that's when I ran. I hurried into the crowd and blended in, knowing Jack or Schuyler would never create suspicion running too quickly. However, I also knew they wouldn't take their time merging into the bunches of people, so I ran into the lobby squealing, "Help! There's two people after me! Help!"

With that, I ran from the building and down the street, my body a blur. My feet moved quickly and I jumped onto a low roof and then to a higher one in the rectangular buildings. Racing across the buildings, jumping roof to roof, I fled. From Jack. From Schuyler and Oliver. From everything.

I just wanted to be alone. Why was that so hard?

I sat in the tree, staring up at the moon. I had lost them on the roofs and now I could hear the sirens. Guess that clerk was good for something. The woods were outside of the town and the only light was the moon. The silver crescent shone brightly and I wondered whether the angel of the moon was just as beautiful. I looked down at the ground and saw complete darkness. My home. The dark was always my home. No matter how many times I wanted to reach up and grasp the light, I couldn't. The darkness was my home, where I belonged. I would never belong anywhere else. And I guess that's why Jack doesn't love me. 'Cause I'll never try to leave my home. What he doesn't realize is that it's his home too. It's the home we share. But it's never enough for him. Michael, Gabrielle, and Schuyler all live in the light, the brightness. We live the dark, the blackness. Sometimes, I want to change. I want to be part of the light. Just to see what it feels like… and so Jack would love me. Cherish me.

That's when I heard the slightest movement. But I already knew.

"Hey, Jack." I didn't take my gaze off of the moon and knew that he was in the closest tree, on the branch that was the same height as mine. Jack would never try to talk to me on the ground. He always talked to me while looking at my face.

"Hi, Mimi." I could hear his soft voice a few yards away from me. "I want you to listen to me."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Please. I'm begging you." He pleaded me with that desperate, apologizing voice. Just like he does every time. But nope. Not this time.

I remained silent, but vowed to not let him fool me again.

"I…I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It was wrong. And I never should have underestimated you or your feelings. You just seem so…" He trailed off and I glared at his dark silhouette.

"What? What, Jack? I seem cold? Heartless? Like I don't care about how many times you betray me? Like it never hurts every time you stab me in the back? Like it doesn't matter how many times you leave me? I'll just forgive you every time? Well, I'm done. I've waited. You made your choice. It's over. So leave me alone."

I looked at the moon and knew Jack wasn't going to budge.

"You can trust me."

"Why do you expect me to believe that? If I've learned anything in the past few thousand years, it's that you can't be trusted. You have a long string of lies and you're still convinced you're innocent. Well, I'm done putting my faith in someone who's just going to break me. … And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I can't be what you want. I'm sorry I'm not Schuyler. And I'm sorry that I'm never going to shine. Gabrielle and Schuyler bring life. That's what you love. Their brightness, their light. Everyone loves them. Their the good guys, the heroes. And I'm the dark spot on the white cloth. The bad guy, the evil villain. Everyone fawns over life, including you. But who could love death? That's right, no one. So why even try to be loved? But I was stupid and thought that you could… 'cause you're destruction. But even destruction can be used for good. Me, however… I'll never be good." Silently, I said, No one will ever love me… Tears were filling my eyes. Maybe Abaddon had never been who I was meant to be with. Because I wasn't meant to be with anyone. Every vampire has a soul mate, but not me. I'm not capable of being loved. Death is powerful. Death is one in itself. But it'll always be alone.

"I love you, Mimi."

"Liar. If you loved me… then you wouldn't have even glanced at Gabrielle. If you loved me, then you wouldn't have kissed Schuyler at the masquerade. Stop pretending. It hurts more to see you fake your feelings. I know that I can't be loved. So stop making this harder than it has to be." A few tears ran down my face and I let them fall.

I jumped down from the branch, my ankles not quavering when they hit the hard forest floor. Jack followed me and I looked at the moon through the braches. It shines so brightly. Just like I never could.

Jack walked up behind me and put his arms around me. "Mimi," he said into my hair, "I'm really, truly sorry."

You're not fooling anyone but yourself.

And that's when I took his arm and flung him against a tree. I could see his shock-filled eyes through his mask and he stared at me in fear. I knew my eyes were coal black. God, that felt so good. I walked up slowly to him.

"You're not. Trust me, I know. You weren't sorry last time and you're not sorry this time. The only thing you're sorry for is that you got caught. Newsflash, Jack. I'm not buying it."