A/N: Good morning! Thank you guys so much for the reviews for the last chapter. The number of reviews is growing with each chapter and that makes me one very, very happy writer! =) I have the best readers around! =)
Alright, the infamous chapter four. I'll just say that I stuck to my promise. I hope that you all enjoy the way this played out and that you'll stick around to see what it means for B/B. Now we can get to the good stuff for our favorite couple!=)
Also, to those of you who requested more of the squint squad and other supporting characters, I definitely did hear you and I definitely will incorporate them. They'll be very important characters in the upcoming chapters. There just wasn't room for them in this chapter!
Many thanks to Hannah Taylor1 who read this chapter over multiple times and improved it greatly with her suggestions and editing. She just posted a 9000 word update on her story, Problem Solving, The Booth and Brennan way. Are you guys impressed? I definitely was! You should go read it and thank her properly for such a kind gift. ;-) Also, congrats to her on chapter 50!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones, Booth or Brennan!
Friday 9:51
Are you upset with me because I'm dating Ellen?
The question hung between them, both of them wondering what the answer would mean. She held his gaze and he could watch the indecision dancing in her blue eyes.
When the silence stretched on awkwardly, he turned away from her and walked towards the kitchen, opening his refrigerator and pulling out a beer. He popped it open and took a long sip before turning and finding her standing directly behind him.
Not breaking the silence, he held out the beer to her and, when she accepted it, retrieved himself another one. Clinking his bottle against hers, he settled back against the counter and watched her as he waited.
"I don't know how to answer that question." She finally said, her voice quiet.
"We can start simple. Just two options. Yes, or no."
"Booth…"
He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face, knowing that he would once again have to lead her where he wanted her to go. "Can I tell you something, Bones?"
"Yes." Relief was potent in her voice as he shifted the conversation.
He rested his hand in its place at the small her back, guiding her towards his couch and tugging her down to sit beside him. She looked at him expectantly and he took a deep breath.
"Bones, I didn't like it when you dated Sully. I didn't like it when you dated the guy who killed his brother or the guy we thought tried to have you shot down in front of that restaurant. And I didn't like your deep sea welder or your gay boyfriend either." He tapped her knee with his beer bottle, keeping his tone light. "Are you picking up on a trend?"
"I believe so, yes."
"Right." He offered her a smile. "And while some of those guys I had very good reasons not to like… the others I just didn't like because, well…" He hesitated just for a moment, "Because in some ways I consider you mine."
He held up his hand in defense, anticipating her automatic response. "Don't say it, Bones, I already know. You don't belong to anyone. You're an independent woman, so on and so forth. I know." He glanced up at her, meeting her wide, blue eyes. "But we're partners and it's my job to protect you, and somehow, wrapped up in all of that, is a kind of possessiveness. Does that make sense?"
She considered his words for a long moment. "From a strictly logical point of view, that is invalid…"
A sigh escaped him.
"… But, I cannot deny that I too have similar feelings of possession that I was unaware of until quite recently, which leads me to believe that there is some truth to what you are saying."
He attempted to restrain the smile he wouldn't be able to explain. "So then…you don't like Ellen?"
"I suppose there are people I have liked more…" She hedged.
"Bones."
"Fine, if you must know, I find her presence quite undesirable." Brennan gave in with a huff, her brow furrowed.
He should be irritated with her, but he was only relieved at her final acceptance and vocalization of the problem that was between them. Reaching for her, he draped his arm around her shoulders, squeezing her arm.
"Bones?"
"What?" Her voice was still snappy, resentful.
"It's ok that you don't like her."
That made her look at him. "What?"
"It's ok. I'm never going to like Sully ever again. And the deep sea welder guy, not on my speed dial." He leaned closer, bringing his face nearer to hers, his gaze holding hers. "And the next time you pick up some guy to date, I probably won't like him either, and you can't really expect me to because you're my Bones and you deserve better than any of those guys out there."
"That's irrational." She protested, though her smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
"Yep." He agreed easily. "But, Bones, the thing is we just have to accept those weird feelings we get when we see each other with other people and try to work past them."
"We do?"
He nodded. "Yeah, we do. Because as important as you are to me, you're my partner, not my…wife." His eyes dropped from hers as an awkward tension filled the space between them. Pushing forward, he continued, "When I leave work and you for the night, I come home alone, Bones. Someday, I want to come home to someone."
It was her turn to nod. "I know." There was a pregnant pause and then she asked, "Do you want to come home to Ellen?"
He chuckled at the absurdity of the question. "We've been dating for all of two weeks. I'm not really ready to make that kind of commitment yet."
"But… someday?" She blinked at him and he felt a tug somewhere in his chest.
"I don't know, Bones. She's very sweet and we have a lot in common." He reached over and took her hand. "And she's very understanding about our relationship. If she wasn't, you know I wouldn't pursue this, right?"
He watched her struggle to find her footing on logical ground once more. "Booth, if you're attempting to find a life-long mate, you shouldn't base your decision solely on her reaction to our partnership. Such a narrow focus would certainly cause the chances of a long-term commitment lasting to be even lower than they already are."
He squeezed her hand. "You know I wouldn't pursue it, right?"
She started to speak again, but closed her mouth and simply nodded. Silence fell and then he heard, "Booth?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for assisting me in understand the nature of my anxieties. You were correct in your assessment that I should simply discuss things with you."
"Feel better, then?"
She seemed to have to think his question over thoroughly before answering. "No, but I understand my thought processes now, which is helpful."
He let out another chuckle. "Ah, Bones. You're a piece of work."
"I don't know what that means."
"It means you're unique." He squeezed her hand again before releasing it. "Are we good?"
She nodded. "Yes, Booth. And I hope you know that I truly am regretful for my actions earlier today."
"It's ok, Bones. Just… next time you want to scream at me about intercourse, maybe we could walk a little further away from all the FBI guys who are never, ever going to let me forget that moment. Ever."
She smiled, a real genuine, Bones smile. "I suppose I could make that small concession."
"Geez, you're a peach."
"I assume that's a term of endearment?"
"Yeah, Bones." He touched her nose with his forefinger. "It is."
Standing up, he took her beer from her, set it aside and pulled her to her feet. "I know you want to get back to the lab and work, but I need to know that this whole tension thing between us is over now. I need to know we're us again."
She nodded. "I will attempt to do a better job of compartmentalizing my feelings and will strive to accept that Ellen fulfills an essential role in your life despite the fact that I personally find her without merit."
He blinked at her. "Ok then."
She smiled at him for a moment before leaning in and giving him a fast, seemingly impulsive hug. He was barely able to get his arms around her before she pulled away again, but even so the gesture alone made him feel a thousand times better.
"You're gonna leave now, aren't you?" He asked her somewhat reluctantly. He'd missed her more than she could possibly realize.
"I do need to get back to the lab." She moved towards the door and he followed her. "But… Booth? Maybe we could have dinner tomorrow. At my place? I will admit that I have missed our evenings together."
He closed his eyes, his hand stilling on the door knob.
"Booth?" Her hand was on his arm immediately. "Are you ok?"
"Bones… I can't tomorrow." He opened his eyes and gave her an apologetic look.
"Oh."
"I'm sorry… I'd love to. You know I would. I just…"
"Have plans with Ellen."
"Yeah." He confessed. "Bones, I'm sorry. She asked me if I'd spend the day with her earlier this week. Her brother is coming in to town and we're having a late lunch and then we're supposed to go to the lake and…" He trailed off, wondering if he was making things worse. "Rain check?"
Her nod was stiff. "Yes. A rain check would be acceptable."
"Bones…"
"I hope you enjoy your day tomorrow, Booth." A smile accompanied her words but it wasn't the smile he wanted. It wasn't her genuine smile, it was just what she did with her mouth when she knew she should look happy.
"Bones…" He knew he was pushing it, but he reached out to touch her, hoping to somehow erase the tension that had taken over her body again after he'd worked so hard to erase it.
She evaded him. "I'll refrain from updating you on our work tomorrow so that you can enjoy your time with Ellen." She told him as she opened the door.
"Bones, no, don't do that."
"Goodnight, Booth." She stepped outside his apartment, pulling the door along with her so that he couldn't reach after her. The sound of the lock catching and her footfalls fading away crushed his heart and he turned, slamming his fist against his wall.
He'd been so close to fixing things with them and then…
He sighed and leaned back against his abused wall, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. He hated that he'd hurt her, hated to see the way her eyes shifted from warmth to cool detachment, especially when he was the reason.
Suddenly unbearably tired, he pushed away from his wall and headed towards his bed. Dropping onto the mattress and sliding between the sheets, his last conscious thought was that maybe when he woke up, he'd know exactly how to fix all of this.
~B/B~
Saturday 7:34
"Seeley, Brent is going to head out." Ellen laid her hand on his arm, and he turned to her, noting that from the look on her face, she'd probably been trying to get his attention for a while. Looking up at her brother, he grimaced inwardly at the look of irritation on the guy's face.
He stood, brushing his pants off as he did so, dislodging the bits of dirt and grass that had transferred onto them as he sat looking out at the lake. "Sure, yeah." He held out his hand for Brent to shake. "I guess it's getting late if you have a long drive back."
"Yeah." Brent's monosyllabic responses had become more typical as the day had gone on. Booth got the feeling Brent hadn't appreciated his consistently high level of distraction since they had met hours ago.
"Well, uh, it was great to meet you." Booth removed his hand from the younger man's iron grip. "Have a safe trip."
"Thanks." Brent turned to Ellen and held out his arms for her. She stepped into them and they said goodbye.
"Catch ya later, kid." Brent patted Ellen's cheek. "Take care of yourself. Thanks for a great day."
Ellen nodded, taking Booth's hand as she did so. "Thanks for joining us. Really, Brent, be safe on the way home, ok?"
"Always am." He gave her a wink and bump to the shoulder before heading to his car. One last wave as he pulled out of his parking spot, and he was gone.
Booth looked down at Ellen and found her looking up at him. He cleared his throat, dragging his hand through his hair. "Did you have fun?"
She raised her eyebrows, a small smirk on her face. "Yes, but I missed my boyfriend."
Guilt washed over him despite the casual tone of her voice. "I'm sorry, Ellen. I've been distracted all day with… work stuff.
Truth be told, he didn't remember much about their day. He thought the food at the restaurant they'd gone to had been pretty good, but he'd been more focused on trying to decide what to do about Brennan than the exact combination of spices used to marinate his steak.
The lake was beautiful and Ellen had gushed over the view and the quaintness of the little boat her brother had rented. Brent had tried to engage him in a conversation about fishing, but Booth didn't remember much of what they'd said. His partner lurked in the back of his mind and more than once he caught himself trying to think up excuses to bail on the remainder of the day so he could go talk to her.
It was driving him insane to not talk to her. Knowing she was upset, knowing that any good that had come from their discussion the night before had vanished the moment she had sensed rejection. If anything, now she was pulling away even more from him.
True to her word, she hadn't contacted him all day even though he knew she had undoubtedly been in the lab working.
"Seeley."
Ellen's voice once again brought him out of his thoughts and his frustration with himself grew.
"I'm sorry." He gestured helplessly. "I'm useless today."
She raised her eyebrows and stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his waist and tilting her head back to look at him. "Do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you?"
I cannot deny that I too have similar feelings of possession that I was unaware of until quite recently…
Brennan's words from the night before flashed through his mind and he pictured her reaction if she could see Ellen wrapped around him this way. The thought made his stomach turn and he gently eased away from the embrace.
As he stepped back from her it suddenly hit him that this relationship with Ellen simply wasn't going to work. He liked her well enough and he enjoyed the time they spent together, but more and more his thoughts were consumed with worry over Brennan whenever he was with Ellen. He couldn't even let her hug him without thinking of whether or not Brennan was comfortable with it.
His partnership was suffering and his closest friend was hurting. It just wasn't worth it. He had promised Brennan that he'd never betray her and she obviously found him dating Ellen to be a betrayal.
They'd have to work through what that meant for them, but for now… he looked at Ellen and knew he couldn't keep pretending that he was here with her, when really he was miles away back in D.C. Back in Brennan's apartment. It wasn't fair to anyone.
"Seeley?" She prompted him again.
Sighing, he took her hand. "Ellen, we need to talk."
He could see the understanding in her eyes, but was surprised at her reaction. He'd broken up with his fair share of women during his lifetime, and he'd figured he'd seen all the reactions. Anger, hurt, despair, resignation, indifference. But he'd never seen a woman nod and smile almost as though she'd won a bet or heard an amusing joke.
"Yeah, I guess we do." She pulled him towards a bench, encouraging him to sit. "Go ahead."
Thrown, he hesitated for a minute as he gathered his thoughts. "Uh, look… Ellen. You are really incredible. I mean… well, you're great and perfect and…" He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
"Seeley?"
He glanced up at her.
"I know you're breaking up with me."
"Yeah."
She nodded, that strange smile still lurking on her lips. "I don't think it's because of anything I did though."
"It's not." He assured her quickly. "It's definitely not."
"I know. How could it be when I'm amazing in every way?" She was teasing him, but he hoped she knew that she was right.
"It's true." He nodded emphatically. "It's really not you at all."
She chuckled. "Seeley, I believe you. For once the, "its not you, its me" speech is actually true. And it's ok. This is ok."
Completely derailed by her reaction, he started to speak, then stopped, looking at her in confusion. "Sorry… I'm just not used to these talks going so well. Now I don't know what to say next." He confessed.
She squeezed his hand, still trapped in hers. "Look, Seeley, I liked you a lot when we met, but it didn't take long for me to realize that there were going to be three people in our relationship. You, me, and Dr. Brennan."
He simply looked at the ground because he couldn't deny her words.
"I was willing to see how big of a part she would play, because you were cute and sweet and I was hoping that someday you'd do more than kiss me in the hallway of my building." She nudged him and he looked at her, a faint flush coloring his cheeks.
She shook her head. "But I think it's becoming obvious that whatever is between you two is much bigger than what could have been between us."
He felt a chill of pure admiration for the woman beside him as he listened to her let of him off the hook effortlessly. "Ellen, I really am sorry. I had no idea…"
She smiled. "I take it you haven't dated anyone in a while."
"No." He couldn't help but smile too, ridiculous as it was. "You really are amazing. Under different circumstances…"
She nodded. "Yeah, under different circumstances."
Smiling softly, he leaned in and pressed a goodbye kiss to her lips. "Thanks."
"Sure, sure. Anytime I can help a guy figure out I'm not the woman he's supposed to be with, I just jump at the chance."
He laughed, but something about her tone niggled at the back of his mind. "Ellen… this is not because Bones and I are going to be together. You know that, right? It's not about romance with us. It's about our partnership and our friendship. That's the most important thing to me and I can't do anything that would jeopardize it. That's all that's going on here."
Ellen shrugged, crossing her legs. "Remember Daniel? My guy friend I was talking about?"
He nodded, unsure of where she was going with the conversation.
"Two days before his wedding to my ex-roommate, he came and showed up at my door in the middle of the night. I was living by myself by that time, and I had a relatively serious boyfriend. He was asleep in the bedroom when I answered Daniel's knock." She shifted, her eyes looking through him instead of at him.
"He didn't say anything, just grabbed my shoulders and yanked me to him and kissed me as hard as he could." She chuckled. "I've never been more surprised in my life."
He tried to keep the point he thought she was trying to make out of his mind. Even considering it felt like a betrayal to his partner. "Ellen…"
She touched his arm. "He stopped kissing me pretty quickly and we just sort of looked at each other for a long time. Then he told me that he just had to know. He just needed to know for sure if there was anything between us."
He had to ask. "And was there?"
She shook her head. "Not at all. Most awkward kiss of my life."
He let out a relieved laugh. "Counting that one the other…"
She held up a hand. "Yes, counting that one, but let's not revisit."
He enjoyed the light moment while he could, but it passed quickly and he was forced to deal with what she had said. "Ellen, I appreciate the hint and all, but Bones and me… it's not like that. It could have been once. A long, long time ago. But we made our choice. We're partners, friends, nothing more. We never will be. Besides, Bones, she doesn't even believe in romance and love and marriage and all that. She thinks it's for… less intelligent people."
Ellen nodded and shrugged. "It's none of my business anymore. I hope you find what you're looking for, Seeley. I really do. Whether it's her or someone she can deal with having in your life. I hope you'll be happy."
Leaning in, she kissed his cheek quickly before standing up. "I'm going to catch a cab."
He stood too. "No, Ellen, I can drive you back. I'm not going to just let you stay out here and wait when I have a car right there."
Looking down at the ground, she sighed before she met his eyes again. "Seeley, I know I'm being nice about this, but that doesn't mean I didn't just get dumped. I'd really rather wait for a cab." She offered him a smile. "Call it claiming a little dignity."
A pang of guilt stabbed at him and he found himself unable to deny her this small request. "Yeah, I get it."
"Thanks."
"I can wait… till the cab gets here."
She shook her head. "No, I'll just go over to the lodge area and wait inside. Go on, Seeley. I know you want to see her."
He nodded. "Yeah. Ok. Good luck, Ellen. I hope you find what you're looking for too."
She smiled over her shoulder, already walking away. "Don't worry. I will."
~B/B~
Saturday 8:46
He didn't call her to warn her he was coming. They hadn't spoken since she'd left last night and knowing her, she'd avoid him. He didn't have time for that now. Not when he had so much to say to her.
So he sent up a silent prayer that she'd be home as he strode down her hallway and lifted his hand to rap at her door. Feeling sneaky, he changed the usual rhythm of his knock just to make sure she'd answer.
The door swung open and she stood in front of him in a pair of jeans and a tank top, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail, her face void of all make-up. She looked young and sad.
"Hey Bones."
She frowned. "Booth, we agreed that we would postpone our evening together so that you could spend time with Ellen. I don't think she would appreciate you being here and I didn't prepare dinner."
"Are you going to let me in or not?"
He shouldn't have been surprised when she took a moment to really think about the question before she stepped aside and let him in. "Bones, last night…. I've been going crazy all day. You can't just walk out on me like that when I'm trying to talk to you."
Shame clouded her blue eyes, telling him that she already knew she had done the wrong thing. "I apologize, Booth. It was not my intention to challenge your mental stability."
"I wanted to explain."
"There was nothing to explain, Booth. As you stated we have to come to terms with our discomfort with each other's romantic partners and determine a way to interact in an acceptable manner." She stepped over to her coffee table and picked up a pad of paper. "In fact, I have been devising a plan with a number of guidelines for both of us that I feel will enhance our ability to compartmentalize…"
He strode over and pulled the paper out of her hands, startling her, before tossing it on the floor.
"Booth!"
"I broke up with Ellen." He told her as he stood too close to her, his eyes too fixed on hers.
She smiled, before incongruously stating, "Oh. I'm sorry."
"You're smiling."
"Oh." She made a poor attempt at arranging her facial features into a more appropriate expression. Her tone, when she spoke, was sincere, though, even if her body language was not. "Booth, I am sincerely sorry. I wish you weren't feeling pain. "
Reaching out, she laid her hand on his arm and pressed softly in an attempt to comfort him that he appreciated far more than the more elaborate gestures most people made in such situations. He moved his arm so that his fingers met hers and their hands fell between them, still linked.
"Bones, we need to talk about why I ended things."
~B/B~
I do apologize for another cliffhanger! I don't do it on purpose... it just works out that way, promise. Send me lots of reviews so that I'm motivated to get the next chapter up pronto! ;-)
Another reminder: I'm attempting to be spoiler free, so please don't mention any of the numerous season six spoilers that I'm desperately trying to avoid when you review! Pretty, pretty please? Thanks!
