Illusions.

Chapter 4 :

"Questions"

R e c a p :

I remember being awoken in the middle of the night, the sound of creaking, A figure above me. The cold embrace I felt on top of me, pressure my body in the bed. Practically pulling me, forcing me to do its bidding. As I look up I saw him, My father, The demon. Come back for more, what more could he possibly get from me? . He's already taken enough.

I feel the bulging between him, as it rubs against me.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

It was happening again, Once raped, Forever be raped. Its just the way its meant to be for me, Why hasn't he said nothing, Why haven't we moved in so long. I feel frozen, Trapped.

I can't breathe.

.

I arose, Gasping in a panting sweat.

A dream. Nothing more than a dream I told myself. A single tear slid down my porcelain cheek, I couldn't stop it from falling.

I don't wanna live like this anymore, How much longer could I hold out. My nightmares, They feel as if its neither reality or a dream. Can that really be?

I smacked my wet face into a pillow, Trying to suffocate my screams in its fluffy texture. I wish I could just die, Right here, Right now. Inside this room, Nothing to look back on.

My thoughts paused as I remembered.

Itachi.

The one thing I still breathe for, I take on the world, My friends, My enemies, Even my own father, Hoping that I'll make it to the day I see my older brother once again. Rush into his chest and cry tears of joy. I began to choke on my own thoughts. Oh, Itachi, I miss you so much. I'd give the anything just for you to walk through my bedroom door. Where could you even be, Big brother?

I sat myself up and looked outside of my window pane, I stared into the outside with such a blank face. Not a thought ran through my mind just watching as the branches of the trees swayed in the wind. I bet those leaves feel just as I do, Hanging on by a branch, Hoping, Praying that I wont fall to the dirt. My reflection started becoming more clear beyond the windows glare. I see a broken boy staring back at me, On the verge of tears, Of death. As I put my fragile hand up against my lip, I wondered, When will it finally be over? When?

Looking into that refection made me realize how not only my father had changed, but how I have changed due to his becomings. I'm not even me anymore, I don't know who I am...I suppose, I just want to be normal. I also see the world differently now, Noone sees the same as I do. Everyone sees different. Some see only pain, Despair. Others, See happiness, Joy even Laughter. I wonder, What exactly does my father see when he looks at me? Does he see his son, Or a mere piece of dirt. Does he even see that I'm only human?

I laid back onto my bed, All these thoughts passing through my mind. All these unanswered questions about me, My father and most important, My brother. Just what has become of my brother?

.

Everyone's gonna yell at me for a short chapter. My defense is, I cannot write...It's becoming really hard for me so don't hurt me all you yaoi fans XD

I'll try to get inspiration again..Just showing you all I'm not dead and haven't given up even with everything.

Ja-ne.