Good Riddance
***
First off, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to EVERYONE that has ever reviewed this fic…wow. Believe me, I was certain I was just seeing things when I saw your reviews. I was entirely certain that it was because of the air freshener that I had been spraying. But, after numerous drug tests (damn poppy seed muffins) I have finally discovered that in fact people do like this thing that my crazed mind threw at you. Wow. Anyhow, on with the story!
(several scientists shake their heads sadly)
***
Picture this. A happy little town. Children playing happily in the fields. Coming when their parents call. Birds singing, their cheerful songs soaring through the air, making the townsfolk smile with pleasure. Tiny houses were nestled neatly between tall, comforting trees. There were no pesky salesmen, and no obnoxious husbands that liked to blow things up.
This is the world Bulma *wished* she lived in.
Now picture this. A huge, polluted city. Children smiling at each other and then promptly robbing the other of any meager valuables. Totally ignoring the pleas of well-intentioned parents, preferring to be DEVILS. Absolutely no birds except for pigeons, and they only crapped on your head. Hundreds of houses were strewn haphazardly across the landscape, and all the trees were owned by the city. There were WAY too many pesky salesmen that came pounding at your door and calling at all hours of the night. And there was only one obnoxious husband that liked to blow things up. Which would have been alright, except for the fact that he belonged to our poor, abused, blue haired scientist.
This is the world that Bulma lived in.
Well, maybe it wasn't all bad.
Bulma gave Bra a bone crushing hug.
"Good job, Bra! Straight A's! Fantastic! What would you like to do to celebrate?"
Bra smiled and pulled away from her mother. "Well, me an' the girls are celebrating the end of my course at the mall…so bye!"
Bra gave her mother another quick hug and bolted out the door. Bulma stared after her daughter, feeling horribly betrayed. Imagine that! Her daughter didn't even want to celebrate with her! Well, not like that was new. Bra had been growing up…too quickly if she had anything to say about it. At least she was growing up in the *right* way.
Good Lord, what the hell had she done wrong with Trunks? How on earth had he gotten involved with drugs? Well, that was halfway Goten's fault…but her son should have been able to say no! God! All those anti-drug commercials must be totally worthless. Maybe the government should stop making those dumb commercials…they really didn't seem to be working.
And why couldn't Trunks have just gone into rehab? No! He had to go all the way to a SUMMER CAMP in Nerima! God…speaking of which, weren't they supposed to receive a recording from him soon?
With this thought firmly held in her mind, she trekked out to the mail box, hoping to god that Vegeta wasn't training. She was NOT in the mood to fix the gravity chamber again.
With her mood growing darker, she yanked open the mailbox and glared into it. She shoved her hand into it and felt around. Then she stopped and smiled.
"VEGETA!" Bulma screamed as she ran down the hall. "VEGETA!"
He stuck his head out of the bathroom door. The Saya-jinn saw her coming and scowled.
"What do you want, onna?"
She threw her arms around his neck happily and kissed him smack on the lips. Bulma pulled away and skipped to the living room.
"We got a recording from Trunks!" she exclaimed happily.
Vegeta blinked, frowned, and pulled on his shirt. Grumbling to himself about excitable women, he stomped into the living room where Bulma was plugging disassembled recorder into the player. Then a picture of Trunks' face appeared on their BIG screen TV. Bulma waved, remembered he couldn't see her, and then put her hands in her lap.
"Uh…hi Mom. Hi Dad. Um. So I guess I'm supposed to tell you about camp."
Trunks looked at someone in front of him. "Uh, okay. Mom, Dad, camp sucks, and this is my friend Bunny…."
The camera zoomed over to look at a pretty blonde girl sitting in a chair. Trunks handed the camera to someone, and moved in front of the camera.
"Yeah, this is Usagi. She's here…'cause…um…hell, why *is* she here?"
There were some mutters, and then Bulma's screwed up baby shrugged. "Whatever. Yeah…"
Trunks' lame report went on for some time until a girl walked onto the screen and yelled at Goten, Then the blonde fell out of the chair and stole the camera. Things got MUCH more lively from there.
Bulma and Vegeta watched in slack-jawed amazement as the energetic bunny bounced to all ends of the camp. Bulma shrieked and covered her husband's eyes before he got too good of a look at the ladies' showers. After that all they could do was stare. They were watching as the girl took the camera apart and tied it into a bandana so they could have a better look at the camp. From her view, of course.
But they got one of the many shocks of their lives when the girl was first met by a demon (apparently she had met him before) and then get slapped by her mother. They saw her get killed (sort of) by the spider, and then brought back to life as a complete demon. They saw her kill the spider and reclaim her soul. Of course, they also saw her and her friends as they painted the boy's faces. It was all a very personal look at the camp. At least one very insane side.
A few hours later, Bulma remembered to breathe. When she had gotten enough air to her brain she leaped up. Bulma turned to Vegeta and grabbed his throat.
"WHY DID YOU SEND MY BABY THERE?" she wailed.
"HE'S LIVING IN THE SAME PLACE AS A DEMON! WE HAVE TO HELP MY BABY!"
Vegeta grabbed her shoulders and shoved her away. Glaring at her with coal black eyes, he shook her hard.
"Shut up, onna! You don't know what you're talking about."
Vegeta snorted. "well, I hadn't figured it out until now. But I used to be engaged to that blonde girl in that video. See, the Saya-jinns and the Lunarians were supreme in about the same era. I was engaged to that Usagi, Princess Serenity. It was purely a political marriage. Then Earth entered the fray, and the Queen re-engaged Serenity to Endymion of Earth. Then the Bitchy Beryl attacked and destroyed the Moon Kingdom. Her mother, whom Serenity refers to as the Wicked Witch, sent Serenity and her court to the future. Then she froze our kingdom. What happened next is history."
Bulma stood there, with this confused look on her face. The confusion quickly turned to anger as she rounded on her surprised husband.
"YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH A HIGH-SCHOOL DELINQUENT!" she screamed at him.
Vegeta stared at her and decided to shake her again. "GODDAMMIT WOMAN! THAT WAS A THOUSAND YEARS AGO!" he roared.
She blinked. "Oh. I see. So. What are you going to do about the fact that my baby is living with a demon?" she demanded.
Meanwhile at camp….
"Ready?"
"No."
"Okay."
Silence for a little bit. The crickets were chirping, and they could see the expectant faces of the cabin members waiting for them to come out. Deep, steady breaths. Wasn't that what you were supposed to do in CPR? But not too deep, or you'll pop their lungs. Or something.
"Ready?"
"No, but let's go!"
"Right!"
Usagi and Lorraine leaped out onto the stage. Usagi was carrying a CPR dummy on her back. Lorraine cupped her hands around her mouth.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, you will be seeing CPR: When You Are Saved by Someone Dumber Than You and Someone Else Comes to Get Rid of the Dumb Person and Brings You Back to Life- The Play! Starring Tsukino Usagi as the dumb rescuer, Lorraine Dupont as the Savior, and Mr. Ed Wardo as the Victim!"
"ACTION!" the black girl yelled, and then the show started.
Usagi walked out onto the stage, and then looked down at the CPR dummy at her feet. She cleared her throat.
"Oh my god. Look. Right there. There is a person drowning. Or dying. Or choking. Or something. Let us save the poor soul."
She bent down to pick the dummy up. Then her eyes widened and she went totally ballistic.
"OHMIGOD! THIS ISN'T A DREAM!!! SOMEONE HELP!!! HE'S DYING! HE NEEDS CPR! AHHHH!!!!!!!!"
The distressed blonde began running around in circles screaming at the top of her lungs. Bleac, Nick, and everyone else just stared.
Lorraine came careening onto the "stage" and ran into Usagi, sending all three flying. The dummy landed with a thump in the aisle. Usagi threw her hands up and screamed. She threw herself at the dummy, wailing about how much of a bad day he was having.
"I'll save you!" she cried dramatically.
Lorraine leaped down to Usagi and the dummy. She kicked Usagi out of the way.
"No! I'll save you! That fluff-head would kill you! Wait. Since he's already dead, can he be killed again? Oh! And how come we can bring people back to life? Isn't that supposed to be God's deal? So does that mean we're gods or something? Since we can bring people back to life? Wouldn't that make sense? I mean, think about it. No, don't give me funny looks! Think about it! Are we gods? Are we monkey gods? Damn, that'd be sweet! Monkey-God Lorraine!"
"He's alive!" Usagi squealed.
Lorraine stopped and looked down at Usagi who was hugging the dummy tightly. The black girl blinked once, and then scratched her head.
"Now just what the hell happened?"
In Tokyo:
Tsukino Ikuko always considered herself to be a good mother and a dutiful wife. She had prided herself, actually, for raising Shingo and Usagi so well. Shingo was a wonder when it came to cars and such, and even though Usagi had never quite been the brains of the family, she had always been there when you needed to smile. So what, exactly, had happened? Ikuko drifted up the stairs, feeling more like a failure than ever. These stairs…she could see Usagi smiling happily down at her, but she could also see the bitter, angry girl that the sweet blonde was slated to become.
Ikuko paused in front of Usagi's door, before opening it. The room was dark. She could barely remember the layout, because her oldest hadn't let her into her new room once they bought it. She flipped on the light and looked around at the alien room.
The bed was in the corner by the window, and there was a dresser and a desk on a wall, too. A black bean-bag chair had been thrown into a corner. Usagi had millions of CD's scattered across the floor, but she could tell that some where missing. Her computer was sitting, dormant, on the desk. Ikuko's eyes took in the dark theme of the room, and she almost missed the black cat that was lying on the bed.
Luna looked up, and for an instant, Ikuko thought she could see tears shining in the cat's eyes. But then the shield slid over the intelligence, and the cat darted out of the room. The woman shook her head and ventured further into her daughter's chaotic room.
A few minutes later, as she was searching through the desk, she came across a blue box. It was locked, she noted with a frown. She exited the room, and grabbed a hairpin from the bathroom on her way back downstairs.
Once downstairs she sat down on the couch. Inserting the hairpin, Ikuko jiggled the lock until it popped open. Biting her lip, she removed the top. Inside there was a wealth of pictures. There were also several notes. It almost seemed that Usagi maybe had wanted it to be found. It was like a summary of her life. But no. That would be impossible.
She reached in, and took the stack of pictures. Spreading them out on the floor around her, she tried to imagine how Usagi had been turned around.
There was one large picture, of about fourteen people. Three of them she recognized as the Three Lights. Another one she knew was the racer Ten'ou Haruka, and another as the violinist Kaioh Michiru. The four younger ones were Minako, Ami, Rei, and Makoto. The two younger ones must be Chibiusa, and her little friend Hotaru. Then there was Chiba Mamoru, Usagi's boyfriend. Cute, but she had never liked him. In the background there was an unknown woman with long green hair. Usagi spoke about another woman often, so she must be Meioh Setsuna.
She flipped the picture over, and blanched. There were names on the back, but not the ones she had expected. Sailor Venus. Sailor Star Fighter. Sailor Pluto. Sailor Saturn. Sailor Mercury. Sailor Chibi Moon. Tuxedo Kamen, etc., etc., etc. There was a note in Usagi's handwriting.
"Here're all my friends! Kami-sama, sometimes I think I'm lucky! I mean, I've got my husband (Tuxedo Kamen, Mamoru, Endymion, whoever), my future daughter (CHIBIUSA-CHAN), and all the Senshi as my friend. And I'm Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice, and future Queen of Crystal Tokyo! Great stuff, huh?" Ikuko read aloud.
Then she realized what she read and almost fainted. Good Lord, her daughter was running around the city in a miniskirt waving wands at monsters!
"MY POOR BABY!" she wailed.
Odd how mothers seem to skip over the *important* things.
Capsule Corps:
Bulma scrolled through the Internet, searching for Tsukino Usagi. She *had* to get a hold of that demon's mother! Her poor baby was STAYING IN A CABIN with a DEMON. That just couldn't be right. It really couldn't. Finally, after about three seconds of searching, an IM box popped up.
Bulma stared at it, and watched in amazement as someone talked at her.
Switch_50: why r u looking 4 Tsukino?
She stared at it in shock for a moment and then typed her answer.
Blade: because I need to reach her parents.
Switch_50: whatever. You won't reach her, if you need a disk. I've been trying to contact her for weeks, and damn it blade, I think she's been shipped off to a camp. But you want her number?
Blade: please
Switch_50: dude, what are you smoking? Damn, you're all polite an' shit, it's scary as hell man. Click here for the number. She told me not to type it, in case someone's spying. Catch ya later, man
switch_50 signed off at 2:30 PM
Bulma clicked the hyperlink and was startled by her phone ringing. Frowning, she walked into the kitchen to pick up the nearest phone.
"Hello?" she asked at the same time as someone else. Bulma stared at the phone, and then frowned.
"Who is this?" she demanded.
"This is Tsukino Ikuko! Who's this?"
"Bulma Briefs! You're just the woman I wanted to talk to!"
"Why?"
"Well, I need to talk to you about your daughter."
"MY BABY!"
About five minutes later they had arranged to meet at the camp in a week, to check up on their babies. It irked Bulma, however, to find that Ikuko refused to believe that her baby was a demon. Oh well. Not her problem. But it will be if she hurts Trunks, Bulma promised herself grimly as she walked off to inform Vegeta that they were leaving.
The Ritz, New York:
Haruka smirked at Michiru, who was collapsed on the bed. The tomboy sauntered around the many suitcases and sat down by Michiru and kissed her gently. The Senshi of Neptune smiled up at her lover.
"It's nice to be off of a plane. In fact, we should call Usagi-hime now that we're at the hotel."
Haruka smiled. "Great idea. Now what was Koneko's number…? Oh, right. I remember."
She dialed the number and waited. The bunny's mother picked up the phone. For some unknown reason, the kind woman seemed out of breath.
"Tsukino-san. May I speak to Usagi?"
"Is that you, Ten'ou-san?"
Haruka glanced at Michiru, who was watching attentively. The more female of the two crossed over and pushed the speaker-phone button.
"Hai, it's me."
"Is it true that you're Sailor Uranus?"
Michiru gasped and clutched Haruka's shoulder. Haruka touched her hand and sharpened her attention to maximum level. She could be more attentive than this, unless she was in battle. But of course, this just might be a battle.
"Hai. How did you find out? Where's Koneko?"
"I found a picture with your aliases on the back. Usagi is in a correctional summer camp."
Michiru gasped again. "Why is Usagi-hime in a correctional program?"
"Apparently because she's been breaking several laws. She hasn't been the same since she went blind."
"How did she go blind?" Haruka fairly yelled.
"From the fire."
"What fire?" Michiru asked quietly.
"The fire that destroyed our house. Her friends haven't been around since then, either. Kaioh-san, are you Sailor Neptune?"
"Hai. Ruka-chan, I think we need to go to Japan. Now."
Haruka nodded and turned back to the phone. "Tsukino-san, we'll be there soon. And while we're there, I think we need to make house calls on the Inners."
"The Inners?" Ikuko asked. "Do you have separate groups?"
Haruka cracked her knuckles. "Hell yeah. Neptune, Pluto, Saturn, and I are the Outers. Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, and Venus are the Inners. Basically it's like this. The Inners are lying, cheating, backstabbing SCUMBAGS, and the Outers are the only ones that actually consider protecting Koneko. Yep, we need to make some visits, Michi-chan. Ja, Tsukino-san."
Then she hung up. Haruka raised angry eyes to Michiru's concerned ones.
"If I'm right, we should be getting a message from Setsuna soon," Haruka seethed angrily.
There was a long pause as the two senshi watched the door, waiting for the knock from fate. Fate tended to knock at their door too much. The climax was beginning to be anticlimactic, which was a pity. So when the manila envelope slid under their door and stopped at their feet, it wasn't too much of a surprise, really.
Seeing as Haruka was too busy imagining ways of torture, it was left to the calmer, aqua-haired senshi of the sea to actually open the letter. So Michiru knelt, picked it up, and opened it. A letter fluttered out. Michiru rolled her eyes at the drama and picked the letter up.
"Dear Uranus and Neptune," she read aloud. This caught Haruka's attention, now. She leaned forward and listened as Michiru read the rest of the letter.
"As you may have discovered, Usagi-hime has come to be at a correctional summer camp through a bizarre twist of destiny. Regardless of the fact that she is perfectly happy there with her soul-mate, and has no wish to return to being the Princess, I have been given a direct order to collect her and bring her back to Tokyo.
"The camp is on Lake Nerima. She will be relatively simple to find, seeing as she has a unique energy signature. Sincerely, Pluto."
Michiru and Haruka stared at each other. Then Michiru smiled happily.
"Let's go stop Setsuna-san from taking Usagi-hime away!"
Haruka rolled her eyes, and began to repack her suitcases. Not much fun, believe me. Especially when you just finished unpacking. Good grief.
"Yeah," Haruka growled, "let's go kick some Inner ass."
"HARUKA!"
Lake Nerima, Cabin 10:
If you were just a ghost floating aimlessly around in that cabin, you would constantly be provided with endless entertainment. At this moment, in fact, you would be watching one of many comical scenes. You would see two sets of eyes peering over a dark surface. Then you would realize that this dark surface is a bed, and that there is someone in the bed. The two pairs of eyes glance at each other, and one set ducks down. You would undoubtedly hear the sounds of zippers and things tumbling to the floor.
"It's not here!"
"Look harder!"
"Can we forget it and just steal her bras and underwear? We could run them up the flagpole!"
"We'll do that, too! Now shush! If Tsuzumi wakes up, we're toast! Where're you going?"
"To hide these, in case the witch wakes up!"
Silence…then: "Okay."
There was a long pause, and then there were two pairs of eyes again. They looked at each other again, and then stared at the lump under the covers. One set of eyes looked at the other set. The second set stared at the first.
"You're joking!"
"No."
"Fine! I'm going in."
An arm snaked over the edge of the bed and wriggled under the pillow. Set Two felt around, and then hissed something at Set One. Set One nodded once, and Set Two began to pull something out from under the pillow.
Until something grabbed her wrist. Set Two's eyes met Tsuzumi's. There was silence for approximately 3.2 seconds. Then everything fell to pieces.
"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TSUKINO?"
Lorraine, the uninjured Set One, threw herself at her bed and scrambled under her covers. Snores could be heard promptly. Usagi whipped her head around, and was horrified to discover that there was no escape. She just barely ducked as Tsuzumi threw herself out of bed and attacked the blonde.
Usagi screamed and leaped up. Tsuzmui raised herself to her knees, and looked at the frightened bunny evilly. Usagi panicked, kicked the Japanese girl, and ran out of the cabin as fast as she could. Deciding to make this look as weird as possible, she threw her arms up and wailed.
Her eyes, unfortunately, were so teary that she ran smack dab into the flagpole. The bunny fell backwards slowly, only to be caught by her trainer…what was his name…? Had he even told her? Ugh…what did the blonde say when she walked into a bar?
"Ouch." She mumbled. "That's a stupid joke."
There was an Australian laugh behind her, "No one's joking, m' dear. Now why did you miss your training?"
Usagi rolled over and glared up at them. Good Lord, they actually expected her to *think*? Jesus, she had just run into a goddamned pole for Christ's sake!
"I am not in any condition to make any coherent response, seeing as my brain is currently swelling up like a balloon, ready to pop. Then I'll die. Go away, I want to die in peace!"
Amos and the…nameless dude…exchanged an amused looked, and then faded into the night. Usagi raised her head and looked around warily. Ha! No one was there! Which meant that she was alone.
She crawled to her feet, giggling evilly. 'Tsuzumi, you're gonna get it now,' Usagi thought victoriously. Finally, about five minutes later, she viewed the outcome of her feat with glowing pride. Glowing pride. Usagi's thoughts froze right there, and instantly switched to hacker mode.
Glowing Pride. What a fantastic name for her latest creation! So much better than A.I. or whatever else they had out there. Ah, when she got home, back to her computer…THE HORRORS SHE COULD CREATE!
Smiling happily, dreaming of the terror she could inflict upon the people that opposed her, she drifted back towards the cabin, where Tsuzumi was sleeping with one eye open.
Actually, after three attempts on her life, she was "forced" to go sleep with Ranma. Loads of fun! Of course, she wouldn't dream of telling anyone that.
Tokyo:
Ami walked steadily though the throngs of people, milling around, wasting their petty lives in ignorance. She honestly couldn't understand how anyone could live like that. Just walking around, totally consumed with what they were going to wear the next day, and who they were going to marry, and so on. The sad thing was that she was close to two people just like that. Mia and Minako. Of course, there had been Usagi, but her name was like a curse among the Senshi now.
She genuinely felt bad about what they had done to the happy go lucky blonde. She had been a wonderful Sailor Moon, and even though Liko Mia was a strong leader, she just wasn't Usagi. But it wasn't like she could voice her opinions to Rei and the others.
She looked up at the blue sky, sighed, and hugged her books closer to herself. Why was *everything* up to her? She was supposed to go out and buy food for all of them. Ami was really beginning to see why Queen Serenity had chosen her daughter to rule, instead of Liko Mia. Mia was a dictator. She expected things to be done her way, and right away. Usagi had always been nice to everyone.
Ugh! People are so STUPID sometimes! They are just totally clueless! When they have something fantastic, they throw it away for something that looks great but really isn't. But when they realize that the great new thing isn't so great after all, they throw *that* away and expect the fist fantastic thing to come back smiling. But the first one is already mad, so it doesn't come back, so they're left with nothing.
Amazing how that tends to happen. Wasn't there even a phrase for that? Ah, yes. The diamonds are always brighter on someone else's hand.
THUMP
Ami fell backwards, her whole life flashing before her eyes. Her butt connected with the ground with a painful thump, causing tears to spring to her eyes. Nevertheless, she climbed to her feet and offered the other victim a hand up. She almost reconsidered, however, when she saw that the other victim was in fact Usagi's mother Ikuko.
Yikes.
Ikuko dusted off her skirt and paled when she saw the pretty white face staring at her. That same pretty face was framed with short blue hair, too. Mizuno Ami. The smartest girl around, and traitor to her daughter Sailor Moon. She smiled politely at the girl.
"Konichiwa, Sailor Mercury."
Then she pushed past her, anger glowing red hot in her eyes. Ami stared after the retreating woman for a moment before coming to her senses.
"Tsukino-san! Tsukino-san! Matte! Matte," she cried as she frantically ran after the woman.
Ikuko stopped and turned around, almost making Ami run into her again. The older woman looked down at Ami with cold eyes.
"What?"
Ami swallowed. This could get her in big trouble. But then again, hadn't Usagi always stuck up for her? This firmed her resolve.
"Where is Usagi?" she asked softly.
Ikuko stared at her, and smiled grimly. It was, really, not the smile Ami had expected.
"You really want to know?"
Ami swallowed hard and nodded. What on Earth was she getting herself into? Did she really want to know where Usagi was? She hadn't been in the arcades. The bunny hadn't been in SoHo's lately. And more importantly, the now familiar bunny icon (Usagi's hacker symbol) had been suspiciously absent.
Of *course* she wanted to know. Duh.
After five minutes of silence (Ami timed it) they reached the all-too- familiar Tsukino residence. Ikuko turned the doorknob just as a black limo screeched to halt in the street. IT backed up slowly, and then stopped in front of them. With a burst of action, a blue haired woman shot out of the car dragging a very short man. Two men and two women got out of the car more slowly.
Ikuko blinked, and then smiled.
"Bulma-chan!"
The blue haired woman beamed. "Ikuko-chan!"
They ran at each other and hugged, wailing and sobbing. The two women were acting like long departed friends. Very strange behavior for women who have never met.
The short man grunted. "Shut up, baka woman. Onna, tell us about this demon living with the brats." He demanded.
Ami spun on a sheepish looking Ikuko. Demon? Demon? Usagi was gone, Ikuko was meeting strange people, Usagi should not be seeing, and her family was alive when they shouldn't be. This could only mean one thing.
"Usagi's been taken over by a demon!"
Ikuko sighed and rubbed her temples. "Not exactly, but sort of. This will take a while to explain, Ami. Of course, you have a few things to explain yourself. Bulma-chan, come inside. We will discuss everything."
Ami winced, and followed Ikuko inside, trailed by Bulma and the others. Usagi's mother showed them to the living room where they all stood, rather awkwardly. Ikuko smiled at them all.
"Sit, please!"
Everyone sat. Wow. Amazing, huh?
"So, Ami, care to explain your history as Sailor Scout, and what happened to make you ostracize Usa-chan like that?"
All eyes turned to the uncomfortable Ami. She flushed and gulped what she was certain was her last breath of air and tossed a prayer to whatever god was up there.
"Well, it goes like this, ma'am…."
"And so," Ami gasped out an hour later, "We asked her to step down. She wouldn't give up the crystal, so we took it from her. Then she changed."
Bulma folded her hands. "So you're not human?"
"No ma'am, and yes ma'am."
"Say what?"
"Well," Ami explained, "when transformed I revert to 100% Mercurian, and like this, I'm 100% human. However, now it's your turn. Where on Earth is Usagi?"
Ikuko traded a look with Bulma. "Well, she's in a correctional summer camp. Apparently, she is also 100% demon, Ami."
THUMP
Gohan looked down at Ami, and then looked at his father, mother, Bulma, and Ikuko all in turn. He checked her pulse, and looked back up at them dubiously.
"Was she supposed to faint?"
Camp on Lake Nerima (I need a name!)
Early Morning
Usagi and Lorraine huddled under the innocently sleeping Trunks' bed, hoping to god that when the horns sounded, Tsuzumi wouldn't head right for the flagpole like she usually did every morning. Why, oh why had she done it? Usagi was afraid for her life. Lorraine was afraid for her life. You know, it's the whole guilty by association.
DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM DUM DUM DUM DUM!!!!!!!!
They clutched their heads as they heard noise above them. Trunks rolled over in his bed and groaned. Everything was silent for five minutes, when a number of things happened.
Trunks mumbled "Lorraine" in his sleep, making Lorraine squeal loudly right as Shiro came busting into the boy's half of the cabin in a rage.
"TSUKINO, DUPONT! TODAY YOU MEET YOUR DOOM!"
And then she dived under the bed to kill the two girls, for she had seen her My Little Pony underwear and her numerous bras of assorted colors waving proudly in the wind on the flagpole.
But that had been in the morning. Now it was afternoon, and she had spent a full half-day running from Shiro. Screaming, too. Now she was thirsty, tired, and she wanted food.
Now don't get me wrong, Usagi liked her life.
Honest to god, she did. There was probably only one thing she didn't like, however, and she was finding that running through the woods screaming was becoming a common nighttime activity. But more infrequently, and worse, was when she was hung upside down over a boiling pot of water.
But that wasn't happening either.
What *was* happening was that she was being screamed at by a drill sergeant, and she was quickly deciding that she wasn't too fond of the experience. Ick.
He spit, too.
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" he roared in her ear.
She waited until the ringing went away, and then nodded. "Yep."
Of course, this got him started all over again. Apparently the lecture that she had been ignoring was on saying "yes sir" and "no sir". Maybe she should have listened.
Then she gave him the finger, and he got all revved up again. The bunny almost broke down laughing right there. It was just too much fun.
It was just too much goddamned fun.
Five minutes later…
Okay, this really wasn't too much fun. She had been assigned one hundred pushups, and the guy was still standing above her, screaming his lungs out. Wasn't there a disease that comes from yelling too much, or putting yourself under too much stress?
'Yeah,' her mind snickered, 'it's called death. You could pop a vein or something….
"TSUKINO, USAGI!" someone yelled. "MAIN OFFICE, RIGHT NOW!"
Yes! God still did love her, unless it was the Devil saving her right now! She leaped up and flashed a perfect smile at him. The man just glared at her.
"Thank you soooo much, dear, but I'm afraid we have to cut our meeting short! Toodles!"
She gave him a peck on the cheek and zoomed off, leaving the poor man wondering whether he should be happy or completely pissed off.
He decided to be happy. It was really so much healthier, he thought as he succumbed to weak knees. The man collapsed onto a dead tree and smiled dreamily off into space.
Down the road quite some ways, Usagi was running at full tilt towards the office. Really, if she aimed it just right, she could twist the doorknob and summersault into the room…. She adjusted her angle a bit and grinned. This was it! This was it! Ahhhh!!!! Ahhhh!!! OPENING DOOR!
"BONZAI!" she hollered as she went in for the rolls anyways, totally plowing down whoever was opening the door.
They all went down with a thud, but Usagi, being somewhat like a pogo stick, jumped right back up and ran into the office, not even out of breath.
"Hi, Mrs. Whatsyourface, I got called here?"
The woman glared at the smiling blonde, and pointed towards the door where a disheveled Setsuna was smiling at the horrified Usagi.
The blonde panicked and picked up the closest thing to her. A vase. She was ready to hurtle it at the smiling green haired woman when something gripped her mind. There was a feeling like a bubble sliding into her mind, and then taking her over.
Usagi wheeled around and smiled sweetly at the secretary.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me, ma'am. Bye!"
The shocked woman waved after her weekly, wondering what was better. The brutally honest Usagi who wore her emotions on her sleeve, or the sweet one that made you feel like you were drowning in honey….
Setsuna took Usagi's arm and guided her out of the building and towards the car. Usagi's heart did this awful flip-flop squeeze thing, and she honestly felt like she was going to die. What right did Setsuna have to do this to her? She was just like Diamond! Just like every single other goddamned person WHO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND!
White-hot rage exploded in her mind, and she began to see red. The happy before-the-fire-Usagi-bubble popped, and Usagi was her own, pissed off self again.
"GET YOU FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, YOU MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!" Usagi screamed.
Heads all across campus turned. Duo, Wufei, and Hiiro among them. Lorraine, Nick, and the rest in Cabin Ten sprinted over to see who Usagi was screaming at this time.
Lorraine stood beside Usagi, who was beginning to glow a fiery red. Nick, Trunks, Goten, and Bleac flanked her. Nick fixed the surprised Setsuna with a glare that could freeze fire.
"What the hell do you want with Usagi?"
The fire erupted around Usagi's body. Her eyes glowed an unreal blue, and her lips were twisted into a furious scowl.
"She tried to take over my mind and force me back into a life that I don't want."
Setsuna smiled inwardly. She had warned Serenity that her daughter wasn't going to take kindly to abduction, but no! Don't listen to the Guardian of Time, who, by the way, has been around much longer than the Queen! But for the sake of form, she tried to argue her case.
"Usagi-hime, I'm following your mother's orders. She outranks both of us. Now come along, before the future is utterly devastated beyond repair."
Usagi's voice was cold. "Then, as Cosmos, Serenity, and a demon, I order you to get the hell out of my face."
Setsuna nodded once. "Hai. Sayonara, Usagi-hime. I'll tell your mother, you realize."
Usagi just stared at her. "Get the fuck out of my face."
She suddenly morphed into Sailor Pluto and faded away. Usagi's red aura suddenly disappeared and she let out a huge sigh. Wiping a hand across her forehead, she turned to face Lorraine and the others. There were all looking at her expectantly.
"Explanation, right?"
Everyone nodded silently. Except for Lorraine, who let out a huge whoop.
"That was so fucking COOL!"
***
First off, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to EVERYONE that has ever reviewed this fic…wow. Believe me, I was certain I was just seeing things when I saw your reviews. I was entirely certain that it was because of the air freshener that I had been spraying. But, after numerous drug tests (damn poppy seed muffins) I have finally discovered that in fact people do like this thing that my crazed mind threw at you. Wow. Anyhow, on with the story!
(several scientists shake their heads sadly)
***
Picture this. A happy little town. Children playing happily in the fields. Coming when their parents call. Birds singing, their cheerful songs soaring through the air, making the townsfolk smile with pleasure. Tiny houses were nestled neatly between tall, comforting trees. There were no pesky salesmen, and no obnoxious husbands that liked to blow things up.
This is the world Bulma *wished* she lived in.
Now picture this. A huge, polluted city. Children smiling at each other and then promptly robbing the other of any meager valuables. Totally ignoring the pleas of well-intentioned parents, preferring to be DEVILS. Absolutely no birds except for pigeons, and they only crapped on your head. Hundreds of houses were strewn haphazardly across the landscape, and all the trees were owned by the city. There were WAY too many pesky salesmen that came pounding at your door and calling at all hours of the night. And there was only one obnoxious husband that liked to blow things up. Which would have been alright, except for the fact that he belonged to our poor, abused, blue haired scientist.
This is the world that Bulma lived in.
Well, maybe it wasn't all bad.
Bulma gave Bra a bone crushing hug.
"Good job, Bra! Straight A's! Fantastic! What would you like to do to celebrate?"
Bra smiled and pulled away from her mother. "Well, me an' the girls are celebrating the end of my course at the mall…so bye!"
Bra gave her mother another quick hug and bolted out the door. Bulma stared after her daughter, feeling horribly betrayed. Imagine that! Her daughter didn't even want to celebrate with her! Well, not like that was new. Bra had been growing up…too quickly if she had anything to say about it. At least she was growing up in the *right* way.
Good Lord, what the hell had she done wrong with Trunks? How on earth had he gotten involved with drugs? Well, that was halfway Goten's fault…but her son should have been able to say no! God! All those anti-drug commercials must be totally worthless. Maybe the government should stop making those dumb commercials…they really didn't seem to be working.
And why couldn't Trunks have just gone into rehab? No! He had to go all the way to a SUMMER CAMP in Nerima! God…speaking of which, weren't they supposed to receive a recording from him soon?
With this thought firmly held in her mind, she trekked out to the mail box, hoping to god that Vegeta wasn't training. She was NOT in the mood to fix the gravity chamber again.
With her mood growing darker, she yanked open the mailbox and glared into it. She shoved her hand into it and felt around. Then she stopped and smiled.
"VEGETA!" Bulma screamed as she ran down the hall. "VEGETA!"
He stuck his head out of the bathroom door. The Saya-jinn saw her coming and scowled.
"What do you want, onna?"
She threw her arms around his neck happily and kissed him smack on the lips. Bulma pulled away and skipped to the living room.
"We got a recording from Trunks!" she exclaimed happily.
Vegeta blinked, frowned, and pulled on his shirt. Grumbling to himself about excitable women, he stomped into the living room where Bulma was plugging disassembled recorder into the player. Then a picture of Trunks' face appeared on their BIG screen TV. Bulma waved, remembered he couldn't see her, and then put her hands in her lap.
"Uh…hi Mom. Hi Dad. Um. So I guess I'm supposed to tell you about camp."
Trunks looked at someone in front of him. "Uh, okay. Mom, Dad, camp sucks, and this is my friend Bunny…."
The camera zoomed over to look at a pretty blonde girl sitting in a chair. Trunks handed the camera to someone, and moved in front of the camera.
"Yeah, this is Usagi. She's here…'cause…um…hell, why *is* she here?"
There were some mutters, and then Bulma's screwed up baby shrugged. "Whatever. Yeah…"
Trunks' lame report went on for some time until a girl walked onto the screen and yelled at Goten, Then the blonde fell out of the chair and stole the camera. Things got MUCH more lively from there.
Bulma and Vegeta watched in slack-jawed amazement as the energetic bunny bounced to all ends of the camp. Bulma shrieked and covered her husband's eyes before he got too good of a look at the ladies' showers. After that all they could do was stare. They were watching as the girl took the camera apart and tied it into a bandana so they could have a better look at the camp. From her view, of course.
But they got one of the many shocks of their lives when the girl was first met by a demon (apparently she had met him before) and then get slapped by her mother. They saw her get killed (sort of) by the spider, and then brought back to life as a complete demon. They saw her kill the spider and reclaim her soul. Of course, they also saw her and her friends as they painted the boy's faces. It was all a very personal look at the camp. At least one very insane side.
A few hours later, Bulma remembered to breathe. When she had gotten enough air to her brain she leaped up. Bulma turned to Vegeta and grabbed his throat.
"WHY DID YOU SEND MY BABY THERE?" she wailed.
"HE'S LIVING IN THE SAME PLACE AS A DEMON! WE HAVE TO HELP MY BABY!"
Vegeta grabbed her shoulders and shoved her away. Glaring at her with coal black eyes, he shook her hard.
"Shut up, onna! You don't know what you're talking about."
Vegeta snorted. "well, I hadn't figured it out until now. But I used to be engaged to that blonde girl in that video. See, the Saya-jinns and the Lunarians were supreme in about the same era. I was engaged to that Usagi, Princess Serenity. It was purely a political marriage. Then Earth entered the fray, and the Queen re-engaged Serenity to Endymion of Earth. Then the Bitchy Beryl attacked and destroyed the Moon Kingdom. Her mother, whom Serenity refers to as the Wicked Witch, sent Serenity and her court to the future. Then she froze our kingdom. What happened next is history."
Bulma stood there, with this confused look on her face. The confusion quickly turned to anger as she rounded on her surprised husband.
"YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH A HIGH-SCHOOL DELINQUENT!" she screamed at him.
Vegeta stared at her and decided to shake her again. "GODDAMMIT WOMAN! THAT WAS A THOUSAND YEARS AGO!" he roared.
She blinked. "Oh. I see. So. What are you going to do about the fact that my baby is living with a demon?" she demanded.
Meanwhile at camp….
"Ready?"
"No."
"Okay."
Silence for a little bit. The crickets were chirping, and they could see the expectant faces of the cabin members waiting for them to come out. Deep, steady breaths. Wasn't that what you were supposed to do in CPR? But not too deep, or you'll pop their lungs. Or something.
"Ready?"
"No, but let's go!"
"Right!"
Usagi and Lorraine leaped out onto the stage. Usagi was carrying a CPR dummy on her back. Lorraine cupped her hands around her mouth.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, you will be seeing CPR: When You Are Saved by Someone Dumber Than You and Someone Else Comes to Get Rid of the Dumb Person and Brings You Back to Life- The Play! Starring Tsukino Usagi as the dumb rescuer, Lorraine Dupont as the Savior, and Mr. Ed Wardo as the Victim!"
"ACTION!" the black girl yelled, and then the show started.
Usagi walked out onto the stage, and then looked down at the CPR dummy at her feet. She cleared her throat.
"Oh my god. Look. Right there. There is a person drowning. Or dying. Or choking. Or something. Let us save the poor soul."
She bent down to pick the dummy up. Then her eyes widened and she went totally ballistic.
"OHMIGOD! THIS ISN'T A DREAM!!! SOMEONE HELP!!! HE'S DYING! HE NEEDS CPR! AHHHH!!!!!!!!"
The distressed blonde began running around in circles screaming at the top of her lungs. Bleac, Nick, and everyone else just stared.
Lorraine came careening onto the "stage" and ran into Usagi, sending all three flying. The dummy landed with a thump in the aisle. Usagi threw her hands up and screamed. She threw herself at the dummy, wailing about how much of a bad day he was having.
"I'll save you!" she cried dramatically.
Lorraine leaped down to Usagi and the dummy. She kicked Usagi out of the way.
"No! I'll save you! That fluff-head would kill you! Wait. Since he's already dead, can he be killed again? Oh! And how come we can bring people back to life? Isn't that supposed to be God's deal? So does that mean we're gods or something? Since we can bring people back to life? Wouldn't that make sense? I mean, think about it. No, don't give me funny looks! Think about it! Are we gods? Are we monkey gods? Damn, that'd be sweet! Monkey-God Lorraine!"
"He's alive!" Usagi squealed.
Lorraine stopped and looked down at Usagi who was hugging the dummy tightly. The black girl blinked once, and then scratched her head.
"Now just what the hell happened?"
In Tokyo:
Tsukino Ikuko always considered herself to be a good mother and a dutiful wife. She had prided herself, actually, for raising Shingo and Usagi so well. Shingo was a wonder when it came to cars and such, and even though Usagi had never quite been the brains of the family, she had always been there when you needed to smile. So what, exactly, had happened? Ikuko drifted up the stairs, feeling more like a failure than ever. These stairs…she could see Usagi smiling happily down at her, but she could also see the bitter, angry girl that the sweet blonde was slated to become.
Ikuko paused in front of Usagi's door, before opening it. The room was dark. She could barely remember the layout, because her oldest hadn't let her into her new room once they bought it. She flipped on the light and looked around at the alien room.
The bed was in the corner by the window, and there was a dresser and a desk on a wall, too. A black bean-bag chair had been thrown into a corner. Usagi had millions of CD's scattered across the floor, but she could tell that some where missing. Her computer was sitting, dormant, on the desk. Ikuko's eyes took in the dark theme of the room, and she almost missed the black cat that was lying on the bed.
Luna looked up, and for an instant, Ikuko thought she could see tears shining in the cat's eyes. But then the shield slid over the intelligence, and the cat darted out of the room. The woman shook her head and ventured further into her daughter's chaotic room.
A few minutes later, as she was searching through the desk, she came across a blue box. It was locked, she noted with a frown. She exited the room, and grabbed a hairpin from the bathroom on her way back downstairs.
Once downstairs she sat down on the couch. Inserting the hairpin, Ikuko jiggled the lock until it popped open. Biting her lip, she removed the top. Inside there was a wealth of pictures. There were also several notes. It almost seemed that Usagi maybe had wanted it to be found. It was like a summary of her life. But no. That would be impossible.
She reached in, and took the stack of pictures. Spreading them out on the floor around her, she tried to imagine how Usagi had been turned around.
There was one large picture, of about fourteen people. Three of them she recognized as the Three Lights. Another one she knew was the racer Ten'ou Haruka, and another as the violinist Kaioh Michiru. The four younger ones were Minako, Ami, Rei, and Makoto. The two younger ones must be Chibiusa, and her little friend Hotaru. Then there was Chiba Mamoru, Usagi's boyfriend. Cute, but she had never liked him. In the background there was an unknown woman with long green hair. Usagi spoke about another woman often, so she must be Meioh Setsuna.
She flipped the picture over, and blanched. There were names on the back, but not the ones she had expected. Sailor Venus. Sailor Star Fighter. Sailor Pluto. Sailor Saturn. Sailor Mercury. Sailor Chibi Moon. Tuxedo Kamen, etc., etc., etc. There was a note in Usagi's handwriting.
"Here're all my friends! Kami-sama, sometimes I think I'm lucky! I mean, I've got my husband (Tuxedo Kamen, Mamoru, Endymion, whoever), my future daughter (CHIBIUSA-CHAN), and all the Senshi as my friend. And I'm Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice, and future Queen of Crystal Tokyo! Great stuff, huh?" Ikuko read aloud.
Then she realized what she read and almost fainted. Good Lord, her daughter was running around the city in a miniskirt waving wands at monsters!
"MY POOR BABY!" she wailed.
Odd how mothers seem to skip over the *important* things.
Capsule Corps:
Bulma scrolled through the Internet, searching for Tsukino Usagi. She *had* to get a hold of that demon's mother! Her poor baby was STAYING IN A CABIN with a DEMON. That just couldn't be right. It really couldn't. Finally, after about three seconds of searching, an IM box popped up.
Bulma stared at it, and watched in amazement as someone talked at her.
Switch_50: why r u looking 4 Tsukino?
She stared at it in shock for a moment and then typed her answer.
Blade: because I need to reach her parents.
Switch_50: whatever. You won't reach her, if you need a disk. I've been trying to contact her for weeks, and damn it blade, I think she's been shipped off to a camp. But you want her number?
Blade: please
Switch_50: dude, what are you smoking? Damn, you're all polite an' shit, it's scary as hell man. Click here for the number. She told me not to type it, in case someone's spying. Catch ya later, man
switch_50 signed off at 2:30 PM
Bulma clicked the hyperlink and was startled by her phone ringing. Frowning, she walked into the kitchen to pick up the nearest phone.
"Hello?" she asked at the same time as someone else. Bulma stared at the phone, and then frowned.
"Who is this?" she demanded.
"This is Tsukino Ikuko! Who's this?"
"Bulma Briefs! You're just the woman I wanted to talk to!"
"Why?"
"Well, I need to talk to you about your daughter."
"MY BABY!"
About five minutes later they had arranged to meet at the camp in a week, to check up on their babies. It irked Bulma, however, to find that Ikuko refused to believe that her baby was a demon. Oh well. Not her problem. But it will be if she hurts Trunks, Bulma promised herself grimly as she walked off to inform Vegeta that they were leaving.
The Ritz, New York:
Haruka smirked at Michiru, who was collapsed on the bed. The tomboy sauntered around the many suitcases and sat down by Michiru and kissed her gently. The Senshi of Neptune smiled up at her lover.
"It's nice to be off of a plane. In fact, we should call Usagi-hime now that we're at the hotel."
Haruka smiled. "Great idea. Now what was Koneko's number…? Oh, right. I remember."
She dialed the number and waited. The bunny's mother picked up the phone. For some unknown reason, the kind woman seemed out of breath.
"Tsukino-san. May I speak to Usagi?"
"Is that you, Ten'ou-san?"
Haruka glanced at Michiru, who was watching attentively. The more female of the two crossed over and pushed the speaker-phone button.
"Hai, it's me."
"Is it true that you're Sailor Uranus?"
Michiru gasped and clutched Haruka's shoulder. Haruka touched her hand and sharpened her attention to maximum level. She could be more attentive than this, unless she was in battle. But of course, this just might be a battle.
"Hai. How did you find out? Where's Koneko?"
"I found a picture with your aliases on the back. Usagi is in a correctional summer camp."
Michiru gasped again. "Why is Usagi-hime in a correctional program?"
"Apparently because she's been breaking several laws. She hasn't been the same since she went blind."
"How did she go blind?" Haruka fairly yelled.
"From the fire."
"What fire?" Michiru asked quietly.
"The fire that destroyed our house. Her friends haven't been around since then, either. Kaioh-san, are you Sailor Neptune?"
"Hai. Ruka-chan, I think we need to go to Japan. Now."
Haruka nodded and turned back to the phone. "Tsukino-san, we'll be there soon. And while we're there, I think we need to make house calls on the Inners."
"The Inners?" Ikuko asked. "Do you have separate groups?"
Haruka cracked her knuckles. "Hell yeah. Neptune, Pluto, Saturn, and I are the Outers. Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, and Venus are the Inners. Basically it's like this. The Inners are lying, cheating, backstabbing SCUMBAGS, and the Outers are the only ones that actually consider protecting Koneko. Yep, we need to make some visits, Michi-chan. Ja, Tsukino-san."
Then she hung up. Haruka raised angry eyes to Michiru's concerned ones.
"If I'm right, we should be getting a message from Setsuna soon," Haruka seethed angrily.
There was a long pause as the two senshi watched the door, waiting for the knock from fate. Fate tended to knock at their door too much. The climax was beginning to be anticlimactic, which was a pity. So when the manila envelope slid under their door and stopped at their feet, it wasn't too much of a surprise, really.
Seeing as Haruka was too busy imagining ways of torture, it was left to the calmer, aqua-haired senshi of the sea to actually open the letter. So Michiru knelt, picked it up, and opened it. A letter fluttered out. Michiru rolled her eyes at the drama and picked the letter up.
"Dear Uranus and Neptune," she read aloud. This caught Haruka's attention, now. She leaned forward and listened as Michiru read the rest of the letter.
"As you may have discovered, Usagi-hime has come to be at a correctional summer camp through a bizarre twist of destiny. Regardless of the fact that she is perfectly happy there with her soul-mate, and has no wish to return to being the Princess, I have been given a direct order to collect her and bring her back to Tokyo.
"The camp is on Lake Nerima. She will be relatively simple to find, seeing as she has a unique energy signature. Sincerely, Pluto."
Michiru and Haruka stared at each other. Then Michiru smiled happily.
"Let's go stop Setsuna-san from taking Usagi-hime away!"
Haruka rolled her eyes, and began to repack her suitcases. Not much fun, believe me. Especially when you just finished unpacking. Good grief.
"Yeah," Haruka growled, "let's go kick some Inner ass."
"HARUKA!"
Lake Nerima, Cabin 10:
If you were just a ghost floating aimlessly around in that cabin, you would constantly be provided with endless entertainment. At this moment, in fact, you would be watching one of many comical scenes. You would see two sets of eyes peering over a dark surface. Then you would realize that this dark surface is a bed, and that there is someone in the bed. The two pairs of eyes glance at each other, and one set ducks down. You would undoubtedly hear the sounds of zippers and things tumbling to the floor.
"It's not here!"
"Look harder!"
"Can we forget it and just steal her bras and underwear? We could run them up the flagpole!"
"We'll do that, too! Now shush! If Tsuzumi wakes up, we're toast! Where're you going?"
"To hide these, in case the witch wakes up!"
Silence…then: "Okay."
There was a long pause, and then there were two pairs of eyes again. They looked at each other again, and then stared at the lump under the covers. One set of eyes looked at the other set. The second set stared at the first.
"You're joking!"
"No."
"Fine! I'm going in."
An arm snaked over the edge of the bed and wriggled under the pillow. Set Two felt around, and then hissed something at Set One. Set One nodded once, and Set Two began to pull something out from under the pillow.
Until something grabbed her wrist. Set Two's eyes met Tsuzumi's. There was silence for approximately 3.2 seconds. Then everything fell to pieces.
"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TSUKINO?"
Lorraine, the uninjured Set One, threw herself at her bed and scrambled under her covers. Snores could be heard promptly. Usagi whipped her head around, and was horrified to discover that there was no escape. She just barely ducked as Tsuzumi threw herself out of bed and attacked the blonde.
Usagi screamed and leaped up. Tsuzmui raised herself to her knees, and looked at the frightened bunny evilly. Usagi panicked, kicked the Japanese girl, and ran out of the cabin as fast as she could. Deciding to make this look as weird as possible, she threw her arms up and wailed.
Her eyes, unfortunately, were so teary that she ran smack dab into the flagpole. The bunny fell backwards slowly, only to be caught by her trainer…what was his name…? Had he even told her? Ugh…what did the blonde say when she walked into a bar?
"Ouch." She mumbled. "That's a stupid joke."
There was an Australian laugh behind her, "No one's joking, m' dear. Now why did you miss your training?"
Usagi rolled over and glared up at them. Good Lord, they actually expected her to *think*? Jesus, she had just run into a goddamned pole for Christ's sake!
"I am not in any condition to make any coherent response, seeing as my brain is currently swelling up like a balloon, ready to pop. Then I'll die. Go away, I want to die in peace!"
Amos and the…nameless dude…exchanged an amused looked, and then faded into the night. Usagi raised her head and looked around warily. Ha! No one was there! Which meant that she was alone.
She crawled to her feet, giggling evilly. 'Tsuzumi, you're gonna get it now,' Usagi thought victoriously. Finally, about five minutes later, she viewed the outcome of her feat with glowing pride. Glowing pride. Usagi's thoughts froze right there, and instantly switched to hacker mode.
Glowing Pride. What a fantastic name for her latest creation! So much better than A.I. or whatever else they had out there. Ah, when she got home, back to her computer…THE HORRORS SHE COULD CREATE!
Smiling happily, dreaming of the terror she could inflict upon the people that opposed her, she drifted back towards the cabin, where Tsuzumi was sleeping with one eye open.
Actually, after three attempts on her life, she was "forced" to go sleep with Ranma. Loads of fun! Of course, she wouldn't dream of telling anyone that.
Tokyo:
Ami walked steadily though the throngs of people, milling around, wasting their petty lives in ignorance. She honestly couldn't understand how anyone could live like that. Just walking around, totally consumed with what they were going to wear the next day, and who they were going to marry, and so on. The sad thing was that she was close to two people just like that. Mia and Minako. Of course, there had been Usagi, but her name was like a curse among the Senshi now.
She genuinely felt bad about what they had done to the happy go lucky blonde. She had been a wonderful Sailor Moon, and even though Liko Mia was a strong leader, she just wasn't Usagi. But it wasn't like she could voice her opinions to Rei and the others.
She looked up at the blue sky, sighed, and hugged her books closer to herself. Why was *everything* up to her? She was supposed to go out and buy food for all of them. Ami was really beginning to see why Queen Serenity had chosen her daughter to rule, instead of Liko Mia. Mia was a dictator. She expected things to be done her way, and right away. Usagi had always been nice to everyone.
Ugh! People are so STUPID sometimes! They are just totally clueless! When they have something fantastic, they throw it away for something that looks great but really isn't. But when they realize that the great new thing isn't so great after all, they throw *that* away and expect the fist fantastic thing to come back smiling. But the first one is already mad, so it doesn't come back, so they're left with nothing.
Amazing how that tends to happen. Wasn't there even a phrase for that? Ah, yes. The diamonds are always brighter on someone else's hand.
THUMP
Ami fell backwards, her whole life flashing before her eyes. Her butt connected with the ground with a painful thump, causing tears to spring to her eyes. Nevertheless, she climbed to her feet and offered the other victim a hand up. She almost reconsidered, however, when she saw that the other victim was in fact Usagi's mother Ikuko.
Yikes.
Ikuko dusted off her skirt and paled when she saw the pretty white face staring at her. That same pretty face was framed with short blue hair, too. Mizuno Ami. The smartest girl around, and traitor to her daughter Sailor Moon. She smiled politely at the girl.
"Konichiwa, Sailor Mercury."
Then she pushed past her, anger glowing red hot in her eyes. Ami stared after the retreating woman for a moment before coming to her senses.
"Tsukino-san! Tsukino-san! Matte! Matte," she cried as she frantically ran after the woman.
Ikuko stopped and turned around, almost making Ami run into her again. The older woman looked down at Ami with cold eyes.
"What?"
Ami swallowed. This could get her in big trouble. But then again, hadn't Usagi always stuck up for her? This firmed her resolve.
"Where is Usagi?" she asked softly.
Ikuko stared at her, and smiled grimly. It was, really, not the smile Ami had expected.
"You really want to know?"
Ami swallowed hard and nodded. What on Earth was she getting herself into? Did she really want to know where Usagi was? She hadn't been in the arcades. The bunny hadn't been in SoHo's lately. And more importantly, the now familiar bunny icon (Usagi's hacker symbol) had been suspiciously absent.
Of *course* she wanted to know. Duh.
After five minutes of silence (Ami timed it) they reached the all-too- familiar Tsukino residence. Ikuko turned the doorknob just as a black limo screeched to halt in the street. IT backed up slowly, and then stopped in front of them. With a burst of action, a blue haired woman shot out of the car dragging a very short man. Two men and two women got out of the car more slowly.
Ikuko blinked, and then smiled.
"Bulma-chan!"
The blue haired woman beamed. "Ikuko-chan!"
They ran at each other and hugged, wailing and sobbing. The two women were acting like long departed friends. Very strange behavior for women who have never met.
The short man grunted. "Shut up, baka woman. Onna, tell us about this demon living with the brats." He demanded.
Ami spun on a sheepish looking Ikuko. Demon? Demon? Usagi was gone, Ikuko was meeting strange people, Usagi should not be seeing, and her family was alive when they shouldn't be. This could only mean one thing.
"Usagi's been taken over by a demon!"
Ikuko sighed and rubbed her temples. "Not exactly, but sort of. This will take a while to explain, Ami. Of course, you have a few things to explain yourself. Bulma-chan, come inside. We will discuss everything."
Ami winced, and followed Ikuko inside, trailed by Bulma and the others. Usagi's mother showed them to the living room where they all stood, rather awkwardly. Ikuko smiled at them all.
"Sit, please!"
Everyone sat. Wow. Amazing, huh?
"So, Ami, care to explain your history as Sailor Scout, and what happened to make you ostracize Usa-chan like that?"
All eyes turned to the uncomfortable Ami. She flushed and gulped what she was certain was her last breath of air and tossed a prayer to whatever god was up there.
"Well, it goes like this, ma'am…."
"And so," Ami gasped out an hour later, "We asked her to step down. She wouldn't give up the crystal, so we took it from her. Then she changed."
Bulma folded her hands. "So you're not human?"
"No ma'am, and yes ma'am."
"Say what?"
"Well," Ami explained, "when transformed I revert to 100% Mercurian, and like this, I'm 100% human. However, now it's your turn. Where on Earth is Usagi?"
Ikuko traded a look with Bulma. "Well, she's in a correctional summer camp. Apparently, she is also 100% demon, Ami."
THUMP
Gohan looked down at Ami, and then looked at his father, mother, Bulma, and Ikuko all in turn. He checked her pulse, and looked back up at them dubiously.
"Was she supposed to faint?"
Camp on Lake Nerima (I need a name!)
Early Morning
Usagi and Lorraine huddled under the innocently sleeping Trunks' bed, hoping to god that when the horns sounded, Tsuzumi wouldn't head right for the flagpole like she usually did every morning. Why, oh why had she done it? Usagi was afraid for her life. Lorraine was afraid for her life. You know, it's the whole guilty by association.
DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM DUM DUM DUM DUM!!!!!!!!
They clutched their heads as they heard noise above them. Trunks rolled over in his bed and groaned. Everything was silent for five minutes, when a number of things happened.
Trunks mumbled "Lorraine" in his sleep, making Lorraine squeal loudly right as Shiro came busting into the boy's half of the cabin in a rage.
"TSUKINO, DUPONT! TODAY YOU MEET YOUR DOOM!"
And then she dived under the bed to kill the two girls, for she had seen her My Little Pony underwear and her numerous bras of assorted colors waving proudly in the wind on the flagpole.
But that had been in the morning. Now it was afternoon, and she had spent a full half-day running from Shiro. Screaming, too. Now she was thirsty, tired, and she wanted food.
Now don't get me wrong, Usagi liked her life.
Honest to god, she did. There was probably only one thing she didn't like, however, and she was finding that running through the woods screaming was becoming a common nighttime activity. But more infrequently, and worse, was when she was hung upside down over a boiling pot of water.
But that wasn't happening either.
What *was* happening was that she was being screamed at by a drill sergeant, and she was quickly deciding that she wasn't too fond of the experience. Ick.
He spit, too.
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" he roared in her ear.
She waited until the ringing went away, and then nodded. "Yep."
Of course, this got him started all over again. Apparently the lecture that she had been ignoring was on saying "yes sir" and "no sir". Maybe she should have listened.
Then she gave him the finger, and he got all revved up again. The bunny almost broke down laughing right there. It was just too much fun.
It was just too much goddamned fun.
Five minutes later…
Okay, this really wasn't too much fun. She had been assigned one hundred pushups, and the guy was still standing above her, screaming his lungs out. Wasn't there a disease that comes from yelling too much, or putting yourself under too much stress?
'Yeah,' her mind snickered, 'it's called death. You could pop a vein or something….
"TSUKINO, USAGI!" someone yelled. "MAIN OFFICE, RIGHT NOW!"
Yes! God still did love her, unless it was the Devil saving her right now! She leaped up and flashed a perfect smile at him. The man just glared at her.
"Thank you soooo much, dear, but I'm afraid we have to cut our meeting short! Toodles!"
She gave him a peck on the cheek and zoomed off, leaving the poor man wondering whether he should be happy or completely pissed off.
He decided to be happy. It was really so much healthier, he thought as he succumbed to weak knees. The man collapsed onto a dead tree and smiled dreamily off into space.
Down the road quite some ways, Usagi was running at full tilt towards the office. Really, if she aimed it just right, she could twist the doorknob and summersault into the room…. She adjusted her angle a bit and grinned. This was it! This was it! Ahhhh!!!! Ahhhh!!! OPENING DOOR!
"BONZAI!" she hollered as she went in for the rolls anyways, totally plowing down whoever was opening the door.
They all went down with a thud, but Usagi, being somewhat like a pogo stick, jumped right back up and ran into the office, not even out of breath.
"Hi, Mrs. Whatsyourface, I got called here?"
The woman glared at the smiling blonde, and pointed towards the door where a disheveled Setsuna was smiling at the horrified Usagi.
The blonde panicked and picked up the closest thing to her. A vase. She was ready to hurtle it at the smiling green haired woman when something gripped her mind. There was a feeling like a bubble sliding into her mind, and then taking her over.
Usagi wheeled around and smiled sweetly at the secretary.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me, ma'am. Bye!"
The shocked woman waved after her weekly, wondering what was better. The brutally honest Usagi who wore her emotions on her sleeve, or the sweet one that made you feel like you were drowning in honey….
Setsuna took Usagi's arm and guided her out of the building and towards the car. Usagi's heart did this awful flip-flop squeeze thing, and she honestly felt like she was going to die. What right did Setsuna have to do this to her? She was just like Diamond! Just like every single other goddamned person WHO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND!
White-hot rage exploded in her mind, and she began to see red. The happy before-the-fire-Usagi-bubble popped, and Usagi was her own, pissed off self again.
"GET YOU FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, YOU MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!" Usagi screamed.
Heads all across campus turned. Duo, Wufei, and Hiiro among them. Lorraine, Nick, and the rest in Cabin Ten sprinted over to see who Usagi was screaming at this time.
Lorraine stood beside Usagi, who was beginning to glow a fiery red. Nick, Trunks, Goten, and Bleac flanked her. Nick fixed the surprised Setsuna with a glare that could freeze fire.
"What the hell do you want with Usagi?"
The fire erupted around Usagi's body. Her eyes glowed an unreal blue, and her lips were twisted into a furious scowl.
"She tried to take over my mind and force me back into a life that I don't want."
Setsuna smiled inwardly. She had warned Serenity that her daughter wasn't going to take kindly to abduction, but no! Don't listen to the Guardian of Time, who, by the way, has been around much longer than the Queen! But for the sake of form, she tried to argue her case.
"Usagi-hime, I'm following your mother's orders. She outranks both of us. Now come along, before the future is utterly devastated beyond repair."
Usagi's voice was cold. "Then, as Cosmos, Serenity, and a demon, I order you to get the hell out of my face."
Setsuna nodded once. "Hai. Sayonara, Usagi-hime. I'll tell your mother, you realize."
Usagi just stared at her. "Get the fuck out of my face."
She suddenly morphed into Sailor Pluto and faded away. Usagi's red aura suddenly disappeared and she let out a huge sigh. Wiping a hand across her forehead, she turned to face Lorraine and the others. There were all looking at her expectantly.
"Explanation, right?"
Everyone nodded silently. Except for Lorraine, who let out a huge whoop.
"That was so fucking COOL!"