Dude, Where's my Girlfriend? Chapter 4: KISS Your Life Goodbye, a phineas and ferb fanfic

Phineas and Ferb

Dude, Where's My Girlfriend?

Chapter 3: KISS...Your Old Life Goodbye

A/N: Thanks to all the people who are reading this story and reviewing it! I didn't realize this story would be so popular! Keep Reading & Reviewing. I can't wait to hear what you have to say! And be honest, but not rude! Oh, and look out for some more Seth MacFarlane related references and more music! This is kind of a musical, if you want to think of it that way. The rating is officially going up to T. There's nothing too bad, but I don't want to take a chance.

Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also any songs featured in this FanFiction are also not mine unless I say they are, which probably will not be the case!

After learning she was no longer in Virginia, but not in Missouri, but in Sah-Nah-Ta-Ah-Nah (Santa Ana), she raced to figure out what to do next. She was really paranoid about this because she had no idea what to do about it. And to make matters worse, her uncle Fredward was still dead.

So she did the only thing that she saw fit: call her mom. Luckily she did bring her cell phone with her. Otherwise, she would've been screwed. She dialed home and waited for an answer.

Meanwhile, back in Danville, the investigation was still on. Only now, they had actually had something to work with. So while the CIA along with Phineas and Ferb were searching the web for the Cross-Country Unit of Narcissistic Transportation, or the 'C' word, for short, Vivian overheard her cell phone ringing, and checked the caller ID to see that it was Isabella calling. So she quietly snuck away so nobody would notice, and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Mom, I have a problem."

"What is it, Mija? And can't it wait?"

"No, mama. It's can't. I fell asleep on the bus and instead of going to Missouri, I ended up in Santa Ana!"

"California!?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Oh my god!" She had to take herself away from her own cell phone for a moment so she could absorb what just happened. She turned around to make sure nobody had seen her and become curious, and she was right. "You're in Santa Ana!?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh this is terrible!!"

"I know, mom! My uncle's not here at all, and there's no way I can afford a house on my own, and I certainly can't get a job to get the money to get a home! What am I gonna do!?"

Vivian sighed, realizing the only thing she could do, and she knew that it could possibly jeopardize not only their whole plan, but also the time left she has as a free woman. "Isa, I fear there is only one way out of this. I have to tell them all the truth!"

"No, mom! You can't! We agreed we wouldn't tell anyone about this unless I said it was OK!"

"Isa, listen to yourself! You 4,000 miles away from here with nowhere to go! I can't let you stay there all by yourself. You'll surely get killed!"

Isabella pondered on that for a moment and thought about all of her options, and everything she thought about drew her closer to the realization that her mother was right. "You're right, mom. OK you can tell them where I am. But if Phineas goes crazy trying to look for me, calm him down."

"I will, Isa. And know that I--"

"Hey, who are you talking to?" Stan asked as he and Roger walked over to Vivian, who quickly tried to hide her phone and forgot to hang it up.

"Um...uh, nobody. I'm not talking to anyone. Who's talking to anybody? I'm not. I'm most certainly not."

Stan and Roger seemed a bit confused by Vivian's actions, and seemed compelled to investigate. "Who were you talking to on your phone? We could hear you from way over there."

Vivian looked at them for a moment before giving another answer. "Um...my...my brother! Yes, that's it! My brother! Fredward Garcia-Shapiro!"

"Wait a minute? Garcia-Shapiro? Fredward Garcia-Shapiro? Liutenant Fredward Garcia-Shapiro!?"

"Yes..."

"He's been for over 5 years."

Vivan looked at Stan and then at Roger for a second, and the both of them gave her the exact same reaction. "No...No, yo-you're lying to me! You have to be!!"

"Jeez, woman, you look like you haven't seen him in years and that you miss the hell out of him or something." Roger commented.

"Oh no, I hated that guy so much. He always mooched off of me and my daughter. But that's not why I'm crying!" She told them, which caused them to become even more confused than they first were. "Listen, I need to tell you something. But I want everyone here to hear this, so gather them up right now! 'Cause I've screwed up worse than those guys who were involved in the tragedy on the Hudson!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, we do not speak ill of the dead!"

"Wait, people died in that incident?" Roger asked.

"Yes. 9 of them."

"Oh wow, that is a bummer."

"Yeah. I thought it was going to be more." Roger looked at Stan for a second before returning his attention to the situation at hand. "Alright, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro, we'll gather everyone in the neighborhood. But do realize this. If what you're about to tell us throws this whole thing out of proportion, you could spend the rest of your life in prison!"

"I know. But I'll do anything I must to protect my daughter!"

And so, Stan and Roger gathered everyone in the neighborhood in one place so Vivian could make her big announcement.

"Everyone, I have something to say." She first said as soon as everybody was gathered in one spot. She looked at all of their faces, and each one said the same thing: curious, anxiety, and bathroom break. "I...I know where Isabella is."

There were suddenly several murmurs in the crowd as they discussed this new revelation in the case. Even Stan, Roger, Bullock, and Dick were shocked.

"Now, now, everyone, I know what you must be thinking. But I assure you, Isabella is not hurt!"

There were some sighs of relief.

"You see, everybody, a couple of days ago, after she came home crying about Phineas forgetting his and her "friendship anniversary", she devised up a plan to make him feel miserable and realize his mistakes. So, we got her a bus ticket to go stay with her Uncle Fredward in Missouri for a few days until he came to his senses. But then she fell asleep on her bus and ended up in California instead. And on top of that, her Uncle Fred's been dead for half a decade! Of course, I never heard anything about it!" She hissed the last few words to Stan, Roger, Bullock, and Dick.

"So what are you saying!?" Phineas called out.

"I'm saying Isabella is lost somewhere in California!!"

"What!?" Everyone shouted out simultaneously.

"Why did you do this?" Phineas asked.

"Well, it was Isabella's idea. She wanted to teach you a lesson!"

"Well she could've done it without leaving the state!"

"Phineas is right! We have to do something!" Candace shouted, agreeing with her brother for once, as she made her way to the front and towards Vivian. "And as for you..."

"Oh boy..." Linda groaned.

"What made you think in this world that you just send your own daughter to another state and expect her to just survive!" Candace started shouting into Vivian's face, who simply looked on in horror, as did everybody else. "I mean, I'm 16, and even I can't survive out there all by myself! That's why I'm still here! And I certainly wo--" She was stopped after she said Vivian go into her pocket and pull out a piece of gum and offered it to her. "Thanks." She took it and started chewing. "And I certainly wouldn't send my two brothers out there to survive by themselves, even if they are annoying, and even if they would be able to do it by themselves! And another thing--"

Finally, she was stopped when Stan snuck up behind her and hit her hard in the head with a cinderblock and knocked her unconscious. Everybody stood there, shell shocked. "What? She was annoying as hell."

Everybody nodded their heads in agreements.

"So now what do we do?" Vivian asked him.

"Simple. We launch another investigation into this case, only this time, we take our search to California." Bullock said as he arrived on the scene. By now, Candace was starting to wake up.

"Uh...what happened..." She slurred as she started opening her eyes up.

"Wake up, we're going to California." Stan said as he and everyone else started heading home. But then he and Bullock and Roger stopped and turned back around. "Oh," He said again. "And when someone offers you a piece of gum, it's not because they're trying to be nice."

"No, it's beacuse your breath smells like the ass of a donkey." Bullock added to the chargin of Candace, causing both Stan and Roger to break out into hysterical laughter, and causing Candace to glare, though she was only half-conscious.

"Oh, god, Bullock, that was good! That was good..." Stan said to his boss as his watch started beeping, as did Bullock's, so the three of them left the scene, leaving a barely conscious Candace there on the floor. Finally, she lost consciousness, and her head plopped back onto the ground, and started snoring really loudly.

Meanwhile, deep beneath the Flynn household, the family pet, Perry the Platypus, or better know in his other name, Agent P, was down in his secret lair, about to receive what he would later realize was one of his most important missions ever.

"Good afternoon, Agent P." His boss, Major Monogram said over the satelite feed. "I'm sorry to bother you on your week off. But we've got a big mission ahead of us! This is possibly one of our biggest missions ever..."

Perry was tired of hearing the same 'Dr. Doofenshmirtz' stories over and over again, so he was in for a big shock.

"...and it doesn't involve Dr. Doofenshmirtz."

Perry's eyes opened widely in shock, as he was now tuned in, giving Monogram his undivided attention.

"As I was saying, this is a very big mission, Agent P. So listen closely. We have reason to believe that there may be a secret drug ring taking place at this location in California." The screen then cut to a seemingly abandoned warehouse, which was actually in great shape, but nobody was actually "living" in it. "There have been reports of people going into the home and then coming out either under the influence or intoxicated. Plus, a recent report from the DA office claims that the number of people who have admitted to taking drugs within the last year has skyrocketed a whopping 32%. Considering California's population, that is an astonishing number."

Perry agreed by nodding his head in a form of shock.

"Your mission, Agent P, is to infiltrate this facility and find out exactly what's going on in there. Then, you are to grab the drugs you find in there and take them back to our headquarters so we can get in touch with the FBI so they can go in and take care of the rest. Oh...and speaking of Federal Agents..."

Perry was instructed to look up as CIA Agent Stan Smith came down the shoot and landed right next to him, and Agent Avery Bullock took the split screen with Major Monogram.

"I'm pairing you up with Federal CIA Agent Stan Smith to help you."

"Agent Smith, you are receiving the same mission as Agent P here." Avery said to Stan as he looked over at Perry, and slightly winced.

"You're pairing me up with a semi-aquatic farret?" Stan asked, insulting Perry in the process by calling him a farret.

"Now Smith, this is a platypus, and according to Major Monogram here, he is one of the finest agents of the industry, having various defeats of a Dr. Doofenshmirtz to account for."

"Sir, with all due respect, there is nothing accountable for fighting a 50-year old virgin whose only goal in life is to turn the moon purple."

"No, that was Ted Turner's idea and it was brown."

"Wasn't that just a cutaway FOX did back in the 20th century?"

Avery looked at Stan for a moment, and then at Monogram, and then at Stan again. "Touché, Smith."

"Look, Agent P is one of our finest agents here, and he is a valued member. Just suck it up for the time being and try not to kill each other." Major Monogram said to Stan.

"I'm not worried about killing him. I'm worried about him killing me." Stan said, slightly afraid.

"Don't worry. He can't really harm a fly." Avery assured him. "After all, he is a platypus. They don't do much."

"Except beat the stuffing out of 50-year old virgins." Monogram added, which caused both of them along with Stan and Perry to break out into uncontrollable laughter which lasted for a good 2 minutes. Afterwards, though, they were sent out to complete their mission.

Meanwhile, back in Danville at around the same time, the Flynn-Fletcher family, along with Vivian Garcia-Shapiro, Baljeet, and Buford were at the airport, ready to board the airplane to take them to California, hopefully to get back their best friend from certain doom.

While boarding the plane, Phineas was awfully quiet, and Lawrence was the only one who noticed.

"You know, you've been awfully quiet lately." Lawrence commented to his son.

"It's just...what if we find Isabella, and she doesn't want to come back with us? I'll feel like it's all my fault."

"Nonsense, Phineas. All boys go through this at some point in their lives. You're just going through it earlier than most."

"Really?"

"Sure. I promise you, if you just talk to Isabella, everything's gonna turn out for the better."

"I hope so."

As everyone boarded the plane, Phineas contemplated on what Lawrence had told him, and what he was going to do when he found her. He was so confused he was dizzy and felt like throwing up.

Meanwhile, outside of the plane, Stan and Roger were about to enter when he realized something.

"Hey Roger, did you see that girl in that red bloude and white skirt?" He asked his alien friend.

"You mean the one that talks like she's the only adult in the family and sounds alot like that Ashley Tisdale girl from the High School Musical movies?"

"Yeah."

"Oh yeah. I dragged her to a white Jeep while she was asleep and dumped her in the trunk."

"You...you did?"

"Yeah. But there was this little toddler body in there, so I took it out, sprayed the inside of the car with chloroform, and then dragged the little toddler to a deep wooded area and covered her skull with Duct Tape and then put a heart shaped sticker on the child's mouth."

Stan stood there, horrified as to what Roger was describing to him. (I'll give a cookie to anybody that can guess that culteral reference.) "Roger...are you insane!?"

"What?"

"You're gonna get in trouble!"

"What!? These kinds of things happen all the time!"

"Oh I know that, Roger. The CIA gets things like this at least once a week! I was talking about with --" He began singing. "The Fellas at the freakin' FCC!"

Roger stood horrified at Stan's horrible singing voice. "What the f*ck was that!?"

"What? You never saw that Family Guy episode--"

"No, of course I did! I stay at home all the time, all I do is watch TV. But that's not what I meant!? Was that really necessary?"

"Well yes. Yes it was."

"Well we're not going to have time for that. We have another song scheduled for a few minutes, and we won't have time for this one."

"Is it an original song?"

"No. It's Rob Thomas."

"Damn!" Stan reached over Roger's shoulder and yelled across the street to Peter, Brian, and Stewie of Family Guy (The latter, of which, was wearing a ballerina tutu.). "Sorry, guys!"

"You mean we're not going to get to sing!?" Peter shouted from across the street. "We came all this way for nothing!?"

"This was the only original song we had!" Brian called. "And it actually had meaning!"

"And I never got a chance to break out my new ballerina tutu!" Stewie said, admiring his own clothing. "What a ripoff!"

"You've got issues." Brain said calmly to the babby.

"You've got a tiny penis." Stewie retorted back.

Meanwhile, on the plane, Phineas reached into his pocket and pulled out what was the class ring Isaeball was going to give him for him to be her boyfriend. Vivian had given it to him before they had arrived at the airport. "Man, I don't understand any of this relationship stuff at all. I don't understand what it is to be a boyfriend. But maybe, just maybe, someday, I'll figure it all out."

And speaking of Isabella, she was having a hard time too, because it had just started raining in Santa Ana, and she was now freezing coat. She had to go as far as usual a left-over black coat to keep her warm as she wandered the streets.

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to
make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all
you want to do is cry

With nobody to talk to, and nobody to shelter her, Isabella was forced to endure the cold pouring rain and freezing temperatures. She was crying on the outside and on the inside, because all she really wanted to do at this point was go back home.

And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make
things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live
our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, Someday

Phineas spent the entire plane ride to California looking at an old photo of him and Isabella together. It brought him to tears too, but onyl because he was so confused.

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away
then maybe you can change
your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on
everything around you
Man it's good to be so warm

After looking around for a place to stay for a couple of hours, Isabella finally gav eup and found a nice, dry, dark alley to take refuge in. She said down, curled into a fetal position, and sat there, waiting for the rain to stop. Unfortunately, some of the rain was also getting through what was supposed to be the roof covering the alley, and pretty soon Isabella got soaked. She couldn't help but break down into tears, beginning to reconsider what she has done.

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

All she wanted to hear from Phineas was that he loved her. That's all she wanted.

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just
feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live
our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow Someday

All Phineas wanted was for Isabella to come home safely so they could be friends again.

Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

Isabella was so focused on getting Phineas to notice her that she failed to realize that she didn't need him to love her. He just needed to be her friend, because they've had such great times together in the past by just being friends that it didn't matter that they were really in love.

Oh, and while the plane was in air, one of the luggages fell off and fell down nearly 20,000 feet, striking a house down below, and completely destroying the front of it, and also causing a man who was in the bathtub to fall to the ground.

"No, no, no, NO, NO, NO!" The black man yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Santa Ana, the rain had let up slightly, so Isabella decided to keep walking, and try and find a real shelter to for the night. But it was getting much harder because she had no idea where she was going.

"I have no idea where I'm going!" She said to herself as she kept walking. "But I have to find shelter soon or I'm gonna--" She stopped as soon as she heard some screeching tires coming her way. It was at that moment that she saw a bus coming her way, whiched turned out to be a tour bus owned by the famous and infamous band KISS. Of course, she didn't know this yet, but she would in time, because in just seconds, the bus swirved out of control and suddenly struck Isabella. Luckily, it was only going 60 miles an hour, because any faster and she would've been killed on the spot. But she was seriously injured, and feeling guilty,. the band decided to take the girl into their bus and treat her while they made their way back to their apartment.

End of Chapter 3!

Next Time: Isabella begins her new life while Phineas and the neighborhood search for her. Plus, Perry starts his mission with CIA Agent Stan Smith.

Expected Update: Don't expect another chapter for at least another week.