A/N - Whew this was difficult to write. Don't you hate when characters hijack your plot and decide to tell their own story? I think I've finally sorted out what they wanted and here is chapter 4. I envision two more chapters but who knows, apparently I'm not in the driver's seat, Tony is.
Tony was clearly driving over the speed limit. In a Lamborghini convertible it was hard not to. Add to that his worry about whether he could get Bruce to come back and it was amazing he wasn't hitting triple digit speeds. About five miles before Tony reached Bruce he started to notice all the police cars. As he would pull up alongside them to pass, the officer would give Tony a quick wave, make a u-turn in the median, and head in the opposite direction.
"Hap has a lot of friends; I wonder what the hell he promised them for doing this." Tony mused that he would probably be writing a pretty big check in the future. It didn't matter though, it was only money; he'd just make more.
He could see Bruce now, walking along the side of the road. He didn't seem to even acknowledge the cars passing by, like he had given up on catching a ride while the police were out in force. Tony breathed a sigh of relief, Pepper had said he was okay but seeing him made it believable. Tony pulled the ultra-expensive car off the road onto the gravel shoulder about 20 feet ahead of Bruce, kicking up enough dust and rocks to get his attention but Tony blew the horn just to make sure.
Through the rear view mirror Tony could see Bruce walking toward the car. He tilted his head down hoping that Bruce would be so happy to get a ride that he wouldn't pay much attention to the car or the person in it. Luckily the vanity plate on this one just said Tony. There could be a lot of rich guys name Tony right?
Bruce opened the door, "Thanks for pulling over; I thought with all the police patrols I would have to walk all day."
"You're welcome." Bruce jumped back and quickly closed the door.
"I should've known it would be you Tony. I'm not going back."
"Back to hitchhiking to some remote area of the world, of course you're not. You are getting in the car, and coming back to the city where you belong."
"Tony, I told you I wasn't going back. I can't. I'm too dangerous to be around you and..."
"Bruce I'm too dangerous to be around me and I'm still here right?"
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Neither does a brilliant scientist hitchhiking on the side of the road when he has a perfectly good place to stay, but here we are."
"Tony, I'm really grateful you let me stay at Stark Tower and spend time working in the labs. I had missed that out on the road. But understand I need to go away now."
"I don't understand, now get in the car, I'm hungry and I need a drink."
Bruce sighed. "Why can someone so smart not understand why I need leave?"
"Maybe because you're being a dumbass." Tony regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. It must have been a record on how fast he went from witty banter to childish retort. But he didn't want to banter, not now; he wanted Bruce in the damn car. He wanted his new normal back. If Bruce had told him he was going on a trip and was coming back maybe it would be different. But this running away, it was hitting all of his abandonment issues big time. "I didn't mean to call you a dumbass Bruce, but you have to admit you are being unreasonable."
"I'm being unreasonable? Wanting to protect people who have been way nicer to me than I ever deserved is being unreasonable? Do you think I look forward to the other guy destroying their lives? He will you know, it's not theory Tony, it's time and time again of me letting my guard down and everything going apeshit. I have no choice but to live with the monster inside, please let me chose not to inflict him on others."
"First, Bruce you always deserve people to be nice to you. Hell people should be a lot nicer to you than they are now. You DID help save the world, by the way, and me too, don't forget. Secondly, we can work on Mr. Green and Ragey. That was the news I was coming home with before someone decided to go walkabout. You know that biomed meeting I had this morning? We came to an agreement and starting Monday you will have 20 assistants to work with you on calming the other guy down." Tony flashed Bruce one of his winning smiles. He loved springing surprises. Unfortunately, Tony was in for a surprise of his own.
"Work with me or on me?" Bruce said with a barely concealed growl. "Dammit Tony, I thought you considered me a friend, not just another one of your experiments. If I wanted to be poke, prodded and shot up, shit, I would have given Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. the first option."
Tony felt dull pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the arc reactor. "But Bruce I …"
"You what, Tony, only did what you thought was in my best interests?" Tony mutely nodded. "How do you know what my best interests are, what do you even know about me?" Tony goes to answer and Bruce cuts him off with a snarl. "I'm going to walk away now… Don't follow me." Bruce stomps off further down the shoulder of the road.
Tony beats the steering wheel with his hands; he wants to run after Bruce, to help in some way. But he knows right now all he will do is push Bruce over the edge, if he hasn't already and let the other guy out.
"What does he mean I don't know him? He loves science, hates the other guy, and oh yeah, he's always angry. Well he's made that fucking apparent now." Tony spent a while drumming on the steering wheel trying to figure out what about the good news set Bruce off. He considered calling Pepper for her opinion but figured the call would involve her sighing a lot and him feeling more like the dumbass he accused Bruce of being. Finally he decided, screw it, he would just ask him. Tony turned the ignition, shifted into gear and headed back on the road to find Bruce again.
It took Tony very little time to find Bruce. He hadn't "hulked out" as evident by the fact he was still dressed, so he only was covering the distance at human speed. As Tony passed by he could tell Bruce, although visibly calmer than when he last saw him, was still pretty tense. It would be best to pull off somewhere ahead and walk back to him, it would be less confrontational and maybe he wouldn't go off the deep end. Plus the walk would give Tony time to figure out how not to put his foot in his mouth again.
"Go back to your car Tony." Tony had made it within 50 feet of Bruce before he noticed him. "I'm barely holding the big guy in."
"I just want to apologize."
"For what?" Bruce snapped.
"For assuming that I knew what you needed. Bruce, you are the closest thing to a friend I got besides Pepper and I wanted to do something nice for you. I fucked that up apparently, even though I'm still not sure how. But in my defense how the hell do you expect anyone to know what you really want when you run off just as they are getting to know you?
Two things effected Bruce greatly, anger and guilt. Anger was the other guy's territory, guilt, amazingly gave Bruce the strength to put the rage genie back into bottle for a while, if for no other reason than to avoid more guilt if he got out.
"I'm such an ass, Tony. The big guy has been rattling his cage for the last two weeks. He wants out and I've done everything I know how to keep him in. But as you can see he's seeping out all over the place and," Bruce sighs, "I'm so tired of fighting him."
"You should've said something Bruce," Tony moves toward Bruce, to comfort him. Bruce puts his hands out in front to keep him away, but Tony still wants to help. "Why don't we go back to the car …" Bruce glares at him. "Just to talk Bruce, no tricks I promise. Here," Tony reaches in his pocket for his keys and holds them out "you can even hold the keys."
"Aren't you worried I could "hulk out" and destroy your really, really expensive car?" Bruce says with a slight smirk on his face.
"It's a car Bruce, not a person, it can be replaced."
As they walked back to the car, every few steps Tony would glance over at Bruce. He still didn't trust that Bruce wouldn't just turn and go in the other direction.
"I've got the big guy under control right now Tony, you don't have to worry."
"I'm not worried. The big guy likes me."
"And you came to that conclusion how?"
"He did save my life."
"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that out."
"Maybe you have more control than you think?"
"It's not enough Tony, not nearly enough."
They arrive back at the car, get in, and just sit quietly. Cars pass by, the occasional truck pelts them with a fine mist of dirt but still they continue to say nothing.
"What's wrong Tony?"
"Why would you think something's wrong?"
"We've been sitting here at least 10 minutes, and you haven't said a word. The only time you go this long without saying something is when you are unconscious."
Tony hrmphs. "I thought I was being considerate. Obviously something is bothering you so I thought I'd let you tell me."
"You know what's bothering me. The other guy wants out."
"Nothing more? Really? Because I thought he always wanted out, so why would that make you pack up and leave?"
Bruce really couldn't answer that, all he knew was that there was some new anxiety in him that was making it hard to keep the big guy under control. He was pretty sure it had something to do with Tony and Stark Tower but couldn't figure out exactly what, the big guy was making it hard to think anymore. Running away wasn't the most mature way of dealing with it but it was what he knew and right now he really didn't want to talk about it. "So why do you want me to come back?"
"Oh, not going to answer my question? Okay I'll let it go right now. I want you to come back because having you around has created some kind of normalcy in my life; one that I like and don't want to go away anytime soon."
"Wow Tony, if I'm normalcy, then your life is more fucked up that I realized."
"Or maybe you are not as fucked up as you think. Putting, big, green, and destructive aside you're a really great person. You are smart, you are caring, did I mention you were smart, and you may not think I noticed but you have a wicked sense of humor. I've heard those whispered wise cracks during Fury's long-assed briefings. Your comments are much funnier than Barton's."
Bruce had to smile at that. It had been a long time since someone said he was good at something that didn't involve his research.
Tony looks over in time to catch the smile just before it fades. "See that's another thing. You have such a great smile that no one ever really gets to see. It lights up your whole face."
Bruce chuckles quietly, "Mr. Stark, are you trying to seduce me?"
"Of course, I mean of course not. You know," Tony takes his time really looking at Bruce taking in all the parts that makes up that man with the beast inside. When he reaches Bruce's eyes it becomes all too intense and he looks away, "I've never really thought about it. I don't mean just you, I mean any guy. I just go where the gonads tell me to and that's been to women but maybe that's because that was what was available… I have seen you naked and I wasn't repulsed, I even found parts appealing... I don't even know what that even means and how that could even work… and what if it ends up being bad, does that mean you leave again, heck I don't know if you are even staying now …
Bruce places a gentle hand on one of Tony's wrists that is attached to a hand currently white knuckling the steering wheel. "Let it go, Tony, you are going to give yourself an aneurism." Tony continues on for a few more sentences before it registers what Bruce had said. He takes a deep breath, than another trying to calm him down. Had he really just wound himself up that much just thinking about the possibility that he wanted more from Bruce than a business partnership and friendship?
"Do you want me to seduce you?"
"Let it go, Tony," Bruce repeats because he's not sure what he feels either. Tony is quiet but he's still white knuckling the steering wheel. "Here," taps the keys against Tony's knuckles, "it's getting dark; maybe we should get off the side of the road." Tony is startled out of his thoughts and takes the keys and starts the ignition.
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know Tony, could we just drive for a while."
"We could do that," Tony shifts into gear and eases back onto the road and drives on into the ever darkening night.
"Crap. I probably should've called Pepper by now. Sometimes I swear I need another Pepper to remind me of the stuff I need to do for Pepper." Tony has the onboard system make the call.
"Hi Tony, is everything okay?" Tony looks over to Bruce, glancing away when he returns the look.
"He's in the car."
"Great, when are you all making it back to the tower?"
"Uhm, we are taking a drive and…"
"I haven't decided if I'm coming back," Bruce interjected. "I know what Tony wants, but the big guy is getting hostile and I want you and Tony to be safe."
"Believe me, being around Tony you get used to not being safe. I know the decision is yours but my vote would be for you to come back. Tony needs someone to talk science with and I need someone vaguely sane around here. You are a really sweet guy Bruce, you don't need to be out there all alone."
"I'll think about it Pepper, that's all I can promise right now."
"I understand Bruce. Tony, you be nice to him."
"I'm trying Pepper."
"Then do better, I want him back here." They continued talking for a few more minutes, business stuff, then Pepper disconnected after insisting Tony call when they were headed back.
"Would a three-some convince you to stay? I'm sure I could convince Pep…"
Bruce let out and exasperated sigh "Let it go, Tony."
"Okay, letting it go."
The conversation turned to more mundane things, of experiments, journal articles, Tony's business acquisitions, and the like. Just driving and talking like there was nothing else in the world than just the two of them in a car and the long stretch of highway. Bruce began to realize just how relaxed he was. Not the relaxation he usually achieved through meditation but that boneless full body satisfaction that usually came after a long day and a good meal. The only times he can remember feeling even close to this has been in Stark Tower, particularly when he and Tony hung out after a long day in the lab. It was a nice feeling he could get used to. "Oh crap," he thought "Do I want to be seduced by Tony Stark?" He took in deep breath of cooling night air. "Let it go, Bruce," he thought to himself, "just enjoy the ride."
Bruce realized that the conversation had died; maybe he had drifted off to sleep. It was entirely possible. He couldn't remember the last time the big guy let him sleep. He looked over to see Tony looking at him.
"Have a nice nap?" Tony practically whispered.
"Yeah, sorry."
"Don't be, you needed it," Tony continued still in a really quiet voice.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Well," Tony raised his voice just a little so he could be heard clearly over the open road, "I'm experimenting with quiet. I'm trying to understand you better and it seems quiet is very important to you."
Bruce nods. "The other guy likes quiet."
"That's what I thought. So, while you were asleep I made a point of being quiet. No humming, no whistling, no talking to myself. Then I realized how noisy my brain was so I worked on quieting that."
"So, what are your results?"
Tony hmms, "Not sure, I mean being quiet is one thing and kinda nice. You can hear the road, the breeze, your snoring. Which by the way is nowhere near as loud as I thought it would be. But when even my brain was quiet, it felt really lonely."
"Yes, it does. But that's what I had to do at first to keep the big guy under control. Just not think of anything, because I was afraid of what would make me angry and set him off. I avoided people as much as possible too for the same reason. Then I learned to embrace the anger, to make it part of me but be able to contain it, for the most part. That way I have back some control of my life."
"Control, is that why you got upset about the biomed deal."
"Sort of. It wasn't that you did it, I appreciate that, I know you really wanted to help. I just don't trust them to not want to take complete control of the situation. Whenever I collaborate on the "hulk" problem, eventually people forget I'm still human and just start treating me like a lab rat. They think I'm being too slow and hesitant. Well of course I am, it's my life they are experimenting with."
"I promise you, if they ever try that I will snatch their funding immediately. You just say the word and the contract is over."
"I almost believe you mean that."
"I do Bruce, I don't know how to prove that to you now but I do."
After yawning for the fifth time in the past five minutes, Tony decides it's time for Bruce to make a decision. "I'm going to need to head back to the tower soon; oddly I think I may actually need sleep. Please say I'm taking you back with me?"
Bruce was quiet. He wanted nothing more than to go back to his "new normal" with labs, and a regular bed, good coffee, Pepper and of course Tony. But what about the big guy, he seemed placated now but what about tomorrow, or the next day? Tony seemed to be reading his mind.
"I'm not asking for forever; just try living like a normal person a little while longer."
Bruce couldn't really argue with that, "Okay, I'll try."
Tony puts a quick call into Pepper and then finds a place to u-turn, heading back toward the city.
"Fasten your seat belts, next stop Stark Tower."
Bruce puts a hand on Tony's shoulder "Don't you mean home?"
Tony lets out a happy sigh and smiles, "Are you trying to seduce me Bruce?"
"Let it go, Tony."