Summary: Without John Connor is there is no hope. He must live on at any cost. -- Terminator 4 x Marcus.
Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the Terminator series.
Chapter 4
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Most of the time I do not separate us in my head. It's easier that way. I am John Connor to most people. But a select few know the truth. Only on rare occasions will any of them dare to call me "Marcus". There's a quiet fear that we share. A quiet desperation if you will. One gaffe, one slip of the tongue, one mistake... then it's all over. All of our sacrifices would be for naught. If the machines knew they killed John Connor, then John Connor will never exist.
I tell myself, it's better this way. Who better than a hybrid to carry this burden? But when I'm honest I know the burden isn't mine alone.
I wave to Kyle as he walks by. His strides slow to a stop.
He has become my closest friend and most trusted soldier. He lives with the sacrifice John Connor made for him. He pays it forward by doing what he can for resistance. He is an important Lieutenant in the war against the machines due to his resolve. He fights to make his existence mean something, so John Connor did not die in vain. He has yet to know that every breath he takes ensures humanity will live on.
"Hey John," he says with a smile. "How was Tulsa?"
He doesn't know I drove all the way to Omaha instead. He doesn't know Blair and I made love for hours.
"It was good. We uncovered vital intel," I lie.
"That's good to hear. There was a good deal of chatter picked up last night in Santa Fe. Did you hear?" He looks tired, but this fight never ends.
I shake my head. "Fill me in on the details tonight."
"Understood," he says, walking away.
I walk over to join the crowd gathered in the corner of the room. New weapons are being issued. I push my way through until I'm close enough to the table to catch Kate's eye. She smiles at me before returning her attention to a young soldier.
I stand there for awhile, just watching her.
She demonstrates how to correctly hold an assault rifle to a solider no more than 17. Her blue eyes deep in concentration as she shows the young woman how to assemble the gun. She is an incredible warrior. She is a brilliant strategist. While people recognize me as the leader of the resistance, it is Kate who is actually leading the way.
Kate is the one with the heaviest burden.
She is not recognized as being a widow. She lost the love of her life. The father of her child. Yet, from the day we quietly put him to rest, to right now – this moment – she has had to pretend. Pretend to not be sad. Pretend that I am Jack's birth dad. And above all, pretend to love me. A machine. The enemy. The man who could not save her husband.
I look away, suddenly feeling guilty about meeting up with Blair. It is risky every time we meet up. Yet, I know she's the only thing keeping me alive.
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A/N: See, I promised explanations. Still there's a lot there to chew on.
By the way, Feedback = Awesome :D