Why, hello everybody! Here's the next installment of the collab, this one written by me (YeahScience)!
This chapter is dedicated to the troll whose hateful review taught me that humor can come from even the most simpleminded of sources. Act your age, not your IQ. Next time you feel the need to spew crap, find a toilet and not a computer. Please don't reproduce. XOXO, YS and CQ (*high five*)
KARR could only remain silent. His CPU had calculated that the probability of KITT agreeing to spend time together was… well, depressingly low. And yet, here he was. His chassis lifted and his scanner brightened. Maybe this marks a turning point for us, KARR thought.
On the other hand, KITT had more of a resigned demeanor. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, he reasoned. Their fierce and hateful battles had left lines of code in his memory like scars: foul and sour memories of a time they both hoped was over, but would never forget. It would take 100 Bonnies to erase all those memories. He wasn't even sure he would like that. Any information he had on his older brother would help him determine whether or not trusting him was a safe bet.
"You know," KITT led in. "I've got an idea of something we could do." The older Trans Am cocked his tires inquisitively.
"Oh?" he said with a rambunctious tone that had never been heard from his modulator. "And just what would that be?"
"Something to get you out of your shell," KITT explained.
"You mean my molecular bonded body kit?" KARR balked. "I'd like to stay in its velvety safety if you don't mind, brother."
KITT sighed. "You have quite a lot to learn. It's hard to imagine I'm the younger of us two." KITT swished his scanner, a sort of "come on" gesture, and fishtailed away, sending up a tall spray of amber earth. His older brother galloped alongside him, keeping pace like a brilliant and loyal destrier. They both topped out at over 200 miles per hour, practically hydroplaning on the silky soil. On the edges of their vision, foliage and sky blurred together into a beautiful landscape. KARR whooped with glee.
The path they followed snaked through the landscape, alternating between hilly open areas and patches of forest so thick that light shone through only in tiny splotches. They even drove by a vast pasture of great black and white cows chomping happily on the rich grass. KITT used his voice synthesizer to "moo" at them. All the cows looked up in confused curiosity, prompting several chuckles from both cars.
After half an hour of aimless driving, KARR finally peeped up. "Where are we going?" They both slowed down to chat; the wind sliding over their T-tops made it hard to hear. Eventually, they were both shuffling along together at a snail's 30 mph.
"We are going to a party," KITT explained.
"A party?" KARR inquired. "But we weren't invited to any party that I remember."
KITT could only laugh. "The kind of party we're going to is not one you get invited to, KARR. It's a sort of 'the more the merrier' scenario. Just show up, act natural, and nobody will look twice at us."
"But we stick out lick sore thumbs…" KARR mumbled.
"Why?" KITT huffed. "Because we're automobiles?"
"I was going to say because of our scanners. But now that you mention it, the fact that we are cars might be a bit of an issue."
"Au contraire, mon frère," the younger chided. "The fact that we are cars is the whole point. Yes, we are going to a human party, but what human would turn down a chance to behold the greatest piece of machinery in the world?!" He paused. "And his buggy prototype."
KARR took the undercut with grace, laughing it off. Actually, he didn't take it personally at all. They were brothers; giving each other crap is kind of their thing.
There was a bit of concern though: the sun. It was going down, and fast, retreating behind the lush, leafy horizon. KARR asked if they ought to be heading back soon, but KITT just swerved as though shaking his head no.
They picked their speed back up, doing a solid yet legal 60 until KITT flashed his taillights.
They heard the irresistible thumping of music and smelled the barbecue before the beach even came into sight. By now the murky blanket of night had descended over the Eastern seaboard and its nocturnal inhabitants had come out to play.
When the beach came into view, KARR's front bumper nearly popped off in shock. Holy cow, did that look like fun. The flames of tiki torches cast a relaxing glow over the scene. Two large teams were playing a game of beach volleyball as several others waded in the chilly water. Several people stood waiting in a hungry circle around the fire pit, from which wafted great plumes of aromatic smoke from the grill on top. Laughter and music intertwined into a beautiful melody. The air was crisp and fresh, warm but with edges of chill. KARR could not possibly fabricate a more idyllic scene.
"What do you think, brother?" KITT prodded proudly.
"There is but one problem with this 'party,' as you called it, KITT," KARR said sternly. Resisting the urge to sigh exasperatedly, KITT indulged his brother. "What would that be?"
"WE AREN'T THERE, THAT'S WHAT!" KARR bellowed, revving his engines and streaking through the grass to get to the excitement. The noise and commotion made several partygoers lift their heads in confusion. When they saw what was fast approaching, however, they were certainly pleased. Several approving cries of adoration broke out from men and women alike. A fine piece of machinery can be appreciated by all.
KITT snaked his way down, following in the tire tracks of his older brother. This elicited another wave of cheers from the crowd. The younger brother sauntered in slowly, allowing several adoring fans to approach and marvel at his silky black exterior. Hands ran over his exterior, eyes gawked at his scanner. KITT stared right back. Grinning smugly, he revved his engine. It roared like a tiger, and the crowd roared back.
KARR, on the other hand, had skipped the formalities and jumped right into the game of volleyball. Whenever the ball was falling towards him, he bumped it by opening his auto-roof and sent it sailing to the other side. Once, he did so so skillfully that he scored, causing several teammates to jump on his hood with joy. KARR flapped his doors with pride as KITT purred his engine.
Many partiers scurried towards KITT to get a closer look. He quickly wiped his windshield, desiring to impress, as always. And, again as always, he was successful. What could he say? Men and women alike could agree that he was a sexy car: the perfect mixture of sleek and sharp, futuristic and classic, menacing and attractive. He teased his fans by revving his engine as soon as they approached, making them jump, then giggle.
The supercar's older brother glanced over from serving the game point. Once he secured his victory with an ace, accepting several kisses and a bucket of confetti from teammates, he sauntered over to his little bro.
Unfortunately, KARR had the upper hand- er, tire? "Hello, ladies," his resonant voice turned all the heads. Now the older one had all the attention. "Thanks for babysitting my little brother. He can be a little childish sometimes." KITT swished his scanner as though rolling his eyes. That manipulative hunk of tin, he grumbled. He just HAD to be built before me.
Now all the ladies were petting KITT in the way they'd pet a tiny puppy. "Aww, this is your little brother?" they squealed. "He's so cute!" KITT gave his brother the stink eye (stink scanner).
"Yeah," KARR continued, eating up all the attention. "Our mechanic asked me to take him out for a night on the town. How could I refuse?"
"What a sweet brother you are!" cried one woman.
KITT was trying his hardest to keep his voice modulator quiet. Of course, KARR was spewing lies. I guess not even Bonnie's mechanical prowess can fix that, he growled. Part of his programming told him to remind all the partygoers that KARR had killed people. Like, a significant number of people.
Just when he was about to give KARR a taste of his own medicine, he noticed a strange sheen from the older model's windows. They were glowing an unsettling orange. Terrified that one of the tiki torches had caught the beach on fire, KITT pulled a 3-point turn and gasped. No, the beach wasn't on fire. Much worse than that.
"KARR!" he screeched. "IT'S ALREADY DAWN!" Yes, the sun was poking its bald and luminous head over the aqueous horizon.
The brothers had been out partying all night. They exchanged glances and, with a unified "BYE," turbo-boosted all the way back to the beach house.
All the lights were still off when they finally arrived home: a good sign. Nobody would know that the brothers had gone to an all-nighter. They opened the garage door and backed in in unison. They had just begun to shut down their circuits when the lights snapped on.
"Hello, boys."
The supercars froze and gulped. It was Bonnie. She was waiting for them in the dark garage.
They remained silent. "Do you have any idea how long you've been gone?" KITT remained silent, but KARR burst out.
"By my calculations, approximately 12 hours," KARR whispered like a child holding back tears.
"And just what were you doing for 12 hours?"
KITT took this one. "We were driving, Bonnie," he said with a tone that KARR picked up on. "We just went exploring along all the fantastic roads around here."
"I was worried sick," Bonnie said, letting her anger fall away for a split second. "I had a hundred terrible scenarios running through my head, you two! Don't ever do that again!"
The two cars lowered their headlights in capitulation. "Yes, Bonnie."
"Good," she huffed. Then she turned around and moved to leave the garage. Her hand hovered over the lightswitch, however.
"KARR," she said practically inaudibly. "What's that under your wipers?"
"Nothing," came his immediate response. But after a split-second scan, both brothers realized, with horror, that a single piece of pearlescent confetti was wedged under his right windshield wiper.
"Just checking," Bonnie said with artificial sweetness. "Good night!"
She returned to bed, shaking her head, but grinning. "Those boys…"