Title: Never Let Me Go
Couple: Hermione/Sirius
Rating: M, for later chapters.
Disclaimer: Really, I wish I did, but I don't own anything related to Harry Potter. The wonderful and amazing JK Rowling owns it all.

Chapter Four

The sobs echoed, becoming louder and louder with time. It was like she was standing in the middle of her family church, all silent and foreboding, until the cries broke the stillness and shattered her resolve. The sobs slowly became closer, at first sounding as if at a far distance, barely intelligible. Now, the sniffles and keening seemed to be coming from right beside her. She could almost feel his breath on her face and the little inhalations he took in between. Strong arms wrapped around her and his face buried in the crook of her neck...

'Why?' the sorrow of his his voice cut deeper than any knife and his arms grew tighter.

Hermione's eyes snapped open to utter silence. The air was still and she was alone. The sigh left her lips on instinct and she raised her hands to her face, rubbing away the sleep. It was a wonder she got any. Hermione had no wand and once she was in her room she was afraid to leave in order to ask Remus about casting a silencing spell.

She had listened to Sirius' agony for what seemed like hours and she could only take so much before it started to affect her. The pillow failed to keep the sounds out, and she resorted to hugging it instead, using it for her own comfort as the man's anguish solidified her own and tore at her heartstrings.

She'd fallen asleep with tears running down her cheeks, wondering over James Potter. If only she'd been quicker... If only she'd been a little stronger... If only she'd killed Voldemort before James came out of the house... If only she were worthy of her Gryffindor title... If only...

Hermione closed her eyes before the tears could form. Part of her wanted to blame herself. Because she hadn't ended Riddle quickly; Lily lost her husband, Harry lost his father, and Remus and Sirius lost their best friend. It was very easy to blame oneself. However, her logical side spoke up loud and clear. She had been injured pretty badly, and according to Madam Pomfrey it was a miracle she was even alive. The slash to her side had nicked a kidney, making her condition much worse than what it should have been. So, producing the Killing curse had been a major achievement that baffled the medi-witch.

While she achieved the ultimate goal of killing Voldemort, she failed in saving James Potter, causing heartbreak to everyone he held dear...

Hermione threw the covers off and stood up. She had to stop this right now! She had to focus on the facts, not the 'what if's'. No matter how tempting they were, she had to be confident and strong. Harry would have understood and told her not to worry, that there was nothing she could have done. Ron, while stuffing his face, most likely, would have agreed with their scar-headed friend.

The rest of the apartment was just as silent as the bedroom. Hermione only spared Sirius' door a passing glance as she headed for the kitchen. She smiled seeing both coffee and tea waiting for her under a stasis charm and she picked up the note address to her.

Hermione,

I would have liked to welcome you to your new home with breakfast, but as you know, we are lacking in provision. There is coffee though, never fear! As well as tea. The two things Sirius and I never fail to stock up on.

This is also a reminder that if you do go out and about, please take Sirius with you. You-Know-Who may be gone, but not all of his followers are.

Anyway, I do hope that you feel welcome here. Don't hesitate to rearrange things or even re-decorate. While we don't know how long you will be staying with us, we do want you to be comfortable. So, please do whatever you must to achieve that.

Have a nice day,

Remus

Hermione smiled. Remus was such a nice man, even now. Hermione opted for coffee and after a minute or two, she finally found where the mugs were kept. She sat at the small table, enjoying the silence and the cup of steaming bitterness. It warmed her hands, burned her tongue, and scorched a path down her throat.

It was heaven.

When there was nothing but a few drops left, Hermione cleaned the cup and started getting ready for the day. She entered the bathroom and was rather surprised to see a plethora of women products. Soaps, shampoos, body washes, brushes and combs... All unopened and at her disposal. One or both of the boys had done this for her and yet, they couldn't go for groceries? Men...

Hermione enjoyed the shower immensely. While bathing in the Hogwarts prefect bathroom had been wonderful, there was nothing like a hot shower in a cozy shower stall. Hermione also promised herself, one day when she had a bit more leisure time, she would take a dip in the clawfoot bathtub.

Without a wand to dry her hair, Hermione pulled her wild mane into a messy sort of bun and then dressed. Choosing what to wear came easily; simple jeans and a plain blue jumper. Casual and appropriate for a bit of shopping.

The comfort she'd been feeling ever since reading Remus' note, plummeted when she was faced with Sirius' bedroom door. She was ready to go and wanted to leave right this moment. However, Sirius wasn't awake and she was smart enough to heed the advise she was given about an escort. To say she was in a pickle would be an understatement. From what she heard that night, not only was she hesitant to wake the grieving man from his slumber, but a fragment of fear sparked at what she might find inside.

Come now, Hermione, she told herself. Suck it up and be a Gryffindor.

Hermione lifted her hand and gently tapped on the door with her finger, then waited.

And waited.

She did it again, and when she was left with no answer, her hand went to the knob. Marginally surprised that it opened, Hermione looked in, cautiously. It was dark and only a stream of sunlight filtered through the curtains, a strip of sunshine cutting across the bottom of the bed, leaving everything rather obscure, except for the large lump in the middle of the mattress.

Feeling that nothing would jump out at her, Hermione entered the room quietly. The smell of firewhiskey assaulted her senses and her nose wrinkled. Her footfalls were muted on the Persian carpet as she side-stepped and walked over empty bottles of what she assumed was Ogden's finest. She briefly second guessed her decision, wondering if maybe she should wait for Remus, instead...

Hermione slowly walked around the bed, to where the lump was sleeping. Although dark, it was easy to make him out. He lay on his side, an arm under the pillow and the other hanging off the edge of the bed. His lips were parted and his breaths were soft and even. He looked so tranquil as he slept. His aristocratic features relaxed in his stupor.

He was breathtakingly beautiful.

The thought was sudden and out of the blue and even as she backtracked, she couldn't deny it.

His hair hung in his face and all Hermione wanted to do was reach forward and brush it back and then touch a finger to his lips to see if they were as soft as they looked... "Sirius?" Hermione leaned forward and tapped his shoulder. He didn't move. "Sirius?" her hand palmed the bare skin of his arm, as she gently shook him. "Siri- OH!"

It all happened so fast. One moment she was standing over him the next she was stuck between the plush mattress and his hard body. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Hermione screeched, bracing her hands against his chest, as his body pinned her down.

"Hermione?" he looked down at her, confused.

She had to turn her face away, his mouth was mere inches from her, his breath warm and the stench of firewhiskey nearly toxic.

"Yes, Hermione!" she replied, flustered at the turn of events. "How many other girls would sneak into your bedroom to wake you?"

"You'd be surprised."

Hermione looked up rather appalled, but she couldn't find the words. Their position becoming so very clear as she realized just how close his face truly was to her. Her gaze traveled down to where her hands rested on his chest. His bare chest, that was... And her thumb betrayed her as it slowly passed over his pectoral muscle.

Oh, dear, Merlin!

She pushed. "Get off," it was whispered, her voice committing treason with its breathlessness. As she squirmed she felt something poke her thigh and her eyes grew wide as it dawned on her that Sirius Black had been resting between her legs the whole time. "Get off. Get off!" Hermione tone got louder each time. "GET OFF ME THIS INSTANT, SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

"Alright, alright!" Sirius flipped over onto his back, and Hermione scrambled off from the bed, getting as far away from him as she could, her back pressing against the wall. "Merlin's beard, you don't have to scream, woman," he grumbled, fixing the dark blue sheets over his body.

Hermione wanted to say that, clearly she did have to scream, but she nearly died right then and there. "You're-" she brought her hand to her chest. "You're naked," she stated, her lips curling in a mixture of embarrassment and nausea.

She could see his smirk in the dark. "So, I am," he then pointed a finger at her. "And don't go looking like that, love. It was a teensy mistake, and will never happen again," there was a short pause. "Unless you want it to.

"Ha!" Hermione scoffed and shook her head, folding her arms over her chest as she looked away.

"What are you doing here anyway, waking me up in the middle of the night?" she didn't have to look to know his eyebrows were waggling suggestively.

Hermione opened her mouth to lash at him, but then remembered all the crying she heard. Composing herself of the anger that boiled beneath the surface at his audacity, she sighed. "It's morning, actually," she informed, primly. "I would like to get groceries and Remus told me you would take me."

"Did he, now?"

"Yes. I also need to go by Gringott's and Ollivander's. So, please be ready to go in ten."

/-/-/-/

"Fucking ridiculous," Sirius snapped, pushing the Daily Prophet away from him in anger.

Hermione looked up from her fish 'n' chips. Swallowing a mouthful of food, as she pulled the magical newspaper closer. What could possibly- Oh. Her eyes landed on the surly wizard next to her. His hair hanging in his face as he pulled his chips apart furiously.

'Lily Potter Escapes: Was her husbands death a relief?'

It wasn't headline news, but the title was scandalous enough to grab attention and cause trouble. As was true Rita Skeeter form.

Hermione didn't hesitate. She reached forward and placed a comforting hand on Sirius' arm. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, the rest of his chips left unharmed as he took a moment and then finally looked at her.

"I don't need your pity," the words should have held more vehemence, but they came out as a breathy sigh.

"This is not pity," Hermione shook her head, squeezing his arm gently. "Merely an attempt to comfort," she said, quietly.

Sirius nodded and they stared at each other a moment longer, before each went back to their lunch, to avoid the the awkwardness that would soon follow. Hermione's attention was brought back to the Prophet, while Sirius started to eat his massacred chips.

He had snatched the paper on their quick departure from Diagon Alley. Hermione hadn't been expecting the large crowd nor the sudden praises she got once she was spotted. Sirius had all but hexed the throngs of people for bombarding them and Hermione was at a loss for words. For once she understood how Harry must of felt. It was quite overwhelming, and near the point of causing a panic attack.

Once they were inside Gringott's things settled down tremendously. The goblins were as grim and professional as she'd ever seen them, but even they looked at her as if she were something special. It took a while for her to get her affairs in order. Since she didn't have a wand, it took even longer than normal for them to make sure she wasn't an imposter. But, after many tests and even more huffs from Sirius, they were done and Hermione had a hefty sum of spending money in her purse; both wizard and muggle.

By the time they left the wizarding bank more people had gathered and the moment Sirius and Hermione stepped foot outside, the flash of a camera blinded them. Before she knew it, Sirius had grabbed her hand and they were running toward the Leaky. The thrill of it all had her laughing and as they ran through the Leaky Cauldron, Sirius nicked a Prophet from one of the patrons.

They hadn't stopped running until they were good and lost in muggle London. Any resentment toward Sirius for what happened that morning gone, as they stood beaming at each other. Leaning against a brick building while they adjusted their heavy breathing and their laughter faded out.

Sirius apologized and promised they'd visit Ollivander's tomorrow. With the Daily Prophet rolled under one arm he offered her the other and then asked if she were hungry.

She had wondered how so many people had recognized her. Looking at the newspaper now, Hermione had her answer. It was a little shocking to know it was Sirius who had found her, if the picture said anything. There she was in black and white, unconscious and in the arms of Sirius Black. In the photo Sirius' face looked wet and his eyes glassy, she needn't wonder when the background became clearer. The Potter's home was just behind them and a couple men and women in Auror robes stood about. If she really focused good, she could just make out two medi-wizard's levitating a body...

Hermione shoved the newspaper away, then turned to Sirius and asked, " Are you finished?"

Sirius dropped the chip back into the red basket and sighed in relief. "I'd never thought you asked."

She smiled and stood, stuffing the Daily Prophet into her beaded bag, unceremoniously. "How do you feel about shopping at a muggle grocery store?"

"Lily took Remus and I with her once," he stated casually, pushing the diner door open for her as they left, but Hermione missed the mischievous glint in his eye.

TBC.

A/N: You guys are so lovely! Really and truly! I wanted to get this chapter up by yesterday, however, Easter was the one month anniversary of my great grandmothers death and so, it was a bit of a hardship. However, I got up this morning, put a few last minute touches and wah la! Hope you enoyed it. =)

Reviews are lovely too, you know...