Sorry it's been a while. I've taken a bit of a break, and now I've started working on a new fic.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It's time for the wives to meet their new families.
(There is a knock on the door, and Rose goes to answer it. Her new family is standing there, in their best clothes, with a bunch of flowers.)
Rose: "Hi! Great to meet you! I'm Rose."
John (handing her the flowers): "Hello Rose. These are for you."
Rose: "Oh thank you! And who are these little cuties?"
Jennifer: "I'm Jennifer, and that's my big brother Michael."
Rose: "Oh, aren't you adorable!"
(She leans down and gives Jennifer a hug, then goes to do the same to Michael, who backs away.)
John: "Very good Michael. Sorry Rose, it's just that I want my son to learn the appropriate ways for a man to show emotion. I don't want him growing up to be, you know, one of them."
(Michael looks up at Rose, his puppy-dog eyes showing his longing for affection.)
Rose: "I see…"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Miranda is sitting in the captain's chair, when suddenly the door is flung open and the Doctor, David and Romana run in.)
Miranda: "What the…"
The Doctor (speaking very quickly): "Hi, nice to meet you. We're being chased by aliens right now, so if you could just excuse me…"
(He goes over to the central console and powers up the TARDIS. They are taken into the time vortex.)
The Doctor: "That's better. So, where were we? Ah yes. Hello. I'm the Doctor."
Miranda (confused): "Oh, hello. I'm Miranda Smith."
The Doctor: "And this is my daughter Romana and my son David."
(Romana and David give small waves.)
Miranda: "Now - Romana, what sort of name is that exactly?"
The Doctor: "It's Gallifreyan. The language of my home planet. A language which I have great respect for."
Miranda: "Yes, of course you do. I don't suppose there is any English translation of the name?"
(Romana steps forward)
Romana: "My full name's Romanadvoratrelundar. I think you should just stick with Romana."
Miranda: "Yes, very well. However young lady, I'd appreciate it if you'd only speak when you're spoken to, okay?"
(Romana glares at Miranda, but says nothing. Miranda turns back to the Doctor.)
Miranda: "Now, about this whole alien thing. Could you please elaborate? Your wife wasn't extremely clear on the matter, you're not exactly as alien as one would imagine."
The Doctor: "Well, not on the outside. But believe me – I'm more alien than you'd believe. Two hearts, respiratory bypass system … oh, and when I'm about to die I regenerate into a whole new form. I've only got a couple left though, so I'd better be careful. Oh, and did I mention that I'm over 900 years old?"
Miranda: "B-but, that's impossible…"
The Doctor: "That's us. The impossible family. Hurray!"
(Miranda looks around, unable to control her emotion anymore. Her eyes roll back into her head and she faints. The children laugh.)
The Doctor (sighing): "Okay guys, let's get her into the medbay."
David: "Do we have to? She smells funny."
The Doctor (sniffing): "Yes, I agree with you David. She has a distinct smell of boring old housewife. We're going to have to change that, aren't we?"
(The kids grin and nod.)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Back at the Smith household, John, Rose and the kids are sitting on the couch.)
John: "Jennifer, Michael, why don't you two go to your rooms? The grown-ups would like to talk alone for a while."
(The kids lower their heads and slowly walk away. At the last minute, Michael turns his head.)
Michael: "Dad, since you're home early, can you please play catch with me in the backyard sometime?"
John: "Sorry son, I've got a report I've got to do for work next week, and I thought I might get a head-start on it now. To succeed in business you need to put in the hard yards. Remember, it's my job that puts the food on the table."
(Michael nods and walks off. John turns back to Rose, who looks uncomfortable with the situation.)
Rose: "So … your name's John Smith?"
John: "Yes, typical I know. But my mother always wanted to name her son John, and she ended up marrying a Mister Smith so, you know."
Rose (uninterested): "Yeah. You know, my husband sometimes goes by that name."
John (confused): "Goes by? What, he uses a different name? Is he embarrassed by his real name? Or does he work for British Intelligence or something? In that case it's very unprofessional for him to appear on a TV show."
Rose: "No no, nothing like that. He just doesn't have a name. He calls himself 'the Doctor'. But sometimes people ask for his name, so he picks John Smith."
John: "Wait, I'm confused. Why doesn't he have a name?"
Rose: "I think he disgraced his people or something when he started interfering with the universe, so they took his name away. He was considered a renegade, a rebel."
John: "Oh, who are his people? Is he, ehem, coloured?"
Rose (eyes widened): "Er, no. But…"
John: "I'm not racist or anything, I just think we should all stick to our own kind."
Rose: "Riiiiiiight. Well no, he isn't black. As a matter of fact, he's from another planet. But I'm sure you'll be happy to know that even after 10 regenerations, he's remained as white as you and me."
John: "Huh?"
Rose (sighing): "This is gonna take a while…"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I can't believe how unlikeable I've made the adult Smiths. Oh well, I've seen worse on the real Wife Swap. Please review, it keeps me happy!