ROAR, it's a quarter to midnight and here comes another chapter! Dive, dive for cover before you are obliterated by crack! Before I let you eagerly commence your readings of said crack, there were some brilliant suggestions last time. Thank you! All will be used at some point.

Oooh, isn't it fantastic that Megan Fox is gone from TF3? Beautiful. C':

Finally, it must be said: beautiful reviewers, thank you for your super-kind comments. They really make a difference to how enthused I become to write the next chapter. Thank you. C:

Enough of my rambling! Onwards, brave comrades of the Transformers fandom!

Sam awoke to a roaring stomach; his hands flew to it immediately, attempting to press away the gnawing emptiness.

When he finally glanced up, he saw a huge and curious face peering at him. 'Boy, what is that noise? Do you die?'

'No,' Sam admitted reluctantly. 'I'm just- hungry.'

'For power?'

'For food, nourishment, sustenance-!'

Megatron blinked.

'Argh, you're so oblivious!' Sam face-palmed, then had inspiration. 'Starscream. Let me talk to Starscream.'

The Decepticon bristled instantly. 'No.'

'He's going to understand what I'm talking about!' Sam cried. 'Do you want me to die and crumble into ashes?'

Megatron, alarmed by the imagery, growled sulkily. 'Starscream is busy.'

'Of course he is,' Sam replied witheringly.

'I'm not leaving you alone with him,' Megatron warned.

'Oh, of course. We might start a rebellion,' Sam sniped derisively.

'STARSCREAM!' Megatron bellowed.

Sam tried to calm his startled, twitching cheek whilst Megatron huffed grumpily for a good two minutes.

There was a smack at the door before it slid open.

'Did you punch my door again?' the Commander demanded, cannon materialising.

Starscream gave a slight twitch of his shoulders. 'I attempted to push it open, forgetting it was automatic once the code was entered. How silly of me.'

'He's such a fool,' Megatron snapped to Sam.

'He is,' Starscream witheringly agreed, optics glaring at the other mech. 'What do you desire?'

'The boy wishes to speak with you,' Megatron snapped.

Sam climbed to his feet and waved from his cage. 'Hellooooo-oooo!'

'You called me from my duties so that the boy could be entertained,' Starscream ascertained disgustedly as Megatron trod away in the opposite direction.

'No, no, no, I need your help,' Sam rushed. 'See, I-'

'I am surprised that you are even still able to speak with such low energy levels,' the Seeker sniffed. 'You do not appear to be anorexic.'

'That's the thing!' the teenager cried, relieved. 'I need food!'

Starscream plucked Sam from the cage; Megatron turned to watch with a low, wary growl.

'So I have been drawn away from my responsibilities because there is yet again some difficulty in translation.'

Sam nodded with an awkwardly apologetic shrug.

'Lord Megatron,' the Seeker swiftly attacked the problem, 'the boy is suffering from lack of human food. He must eat to replenish his energy levels, else he shall become exhausted, useless, and eventually die from starvation.'

'Brilliant,' Sam mouthed, giving the mech some thumbs-up.

'Where can this cure be found?' Megatron demanded.

'Stores!' Sam cried.

'Places in which humans gather together their various sustenance for easy purchase by non-gathering humans.'

'I see,' Megatron mused. 'Then we shall go.'

Sam inwardly celebrated. Then his mind replayed the utterance. '...'We'?'

'Of course you won't be left on your own,' the Commander reassured cheerfully. 'You might get lost.'

'Or make a break for freedom,' Starscream pointed out.

'...Or that, yes. Of course I had thought of that. Not that the boy would do this, idiot Seeker.'

'Can I go now?' Starscream snapped.

'Of course you can go with us,' Megatron affirmed. 'Fetch Soundwave in addition.'

Starscream stormed out of the room furiously after dropping Sam disdainfully onto Megatron's berth.

'Woah, woah- what is that?' Sam demanded, suddenly seeing Megatron holding something.

'What is what, boy?'

'That- that in your claws,' the teenager pressed, staring intently.

'Oh, this?' Megatron 'suddenly' caught sight of the object and seemed delightedly surprised. 'Why, boy! This is your lead.'

Sam took a moment to close his eyes and rub a hand across his face.

He took another to calmly take in a breath, and then slowly begin the painful task of dissuasion. 'I'm gonna believe that I heard what I thought I heard- because it was ridiculous and so probably true- and I'm gonna ask why.'

'Why what, boy?'

'Why the hell you have a leash for me!' Sam shouted, disbelief and anger snapping through his forced serenity.

'For safety, boy!'

Sam tried to follow this argument, then gave up with a sigh. 'You lost me.'

'Exactly. And we don't want that, do we?' Megatron suddenly loomed upon him.

'I'll bite you!' Sam shouted desperately, waving his arms fearsomely. 'I will!'

The threat of great violence did not stop the mech.

In hindsight, trying to run away hadn't been the most convincing way to prove to Megatron that he didn't need a lead.

Nor did actually attempting to bite the claw nearest to him as he was pinned down.

Sam gave up his attempts to wrestle the huge being (it didn't seem fair that he could be held down with one mere hand- it was demeaning, unmanly) and exhaled heavily. 'Well, this brings back fabulous memories.'

Megatron seemed pleased that he wasn't struggling. 'Really, boy? It does for me, too.'

'ARGHHH!' Sam shrieked, noting the mech's other hand-thing approaching alarmingly fast, claws too close. 'Get your claws away from my head!'

The Decepticon tried to justify the movement. 'But boy, this is where collars go.'

There was a pause of giddy insanity.

'C-collar?'

'It's good to know that your fleshy hearing devices function well,' Megatron beamed.

'Woahwoahwoah. I can't have a collar.'

'Why, boy?'

Sam's brain set to work. 'I'm allergic.'

'Soundwave told me you would try and squirm out of this.'

'Screw Soundwave- I'm really not starting to like the guy! Listen, Megatron. Listen- and stop with the collar. Stop- stop!'

Megatron paused with a heavy sigh.

Sam took a deep breath and licked his lips nervously.

Now was the time to test it.

'Right. See here, this is where you and Optimus differ.'

The Decepticon Commander blinked.

Sam took this as Megatron allowing him to continue.

'See, Optimus wouldn't put a collar on me- because, because-!' he hurried, hearing a slight growl, '-because he respects me, and he knows that I'd feel demeaned by such an action.'

Megatron was not convinced. 'Boy, this is indeed where he and I differ. He lets you do whatever you want without consequence.'

'You- you made that a very negative thing!' Sam cried. 'I- as a person, as an individual- would be totally depressed if I had that put on me. That's the problem! You see me as an insect or whatever, not an individual. Just as you are an individual with rights and stuff, so am I! You wouldn't do this to another Transformer!'

The lack of reply from the mech was disconcerting.

Sam's voice nearly disappeared. 'Please tell me you haven't done this to another Transformer.'

'At least now you can see that this isn't done condescendingly, and it isn't just because you're a puny flesh creature.'

'Megatron!' Sam wailed. 'Please!'

'Stop it, boy. Wide-eyed pleas will not work. Are you finished?'

'Woarhghh,' the human tried again, trying to wriggle away. 'No. Alright. If you put that on me, you are reducing me to a pet. We- we discussed being your pet once before, right?'

Megatron was listening, thank God.

'And I remember I didn't want to be your pet!' Sam continued frantically. 'I know you remember it too!'

'Objection,' Megatron interjected. 'You never stated that. I shall refresh your memory.' Sam's desperate shout was startlingly and suddenly projected from the alien. 'I'm never giving you this Allspark!'

'Oh, that's just embarrassing-! My voice cracked right in the middle.' Sam thought for a moment. 'Why the hell do you even have a recording of that?'

'You did not definitively state that you did not wish to be my pet.'

'Well, I don't. Is that good enough?'

'Why not, boy?'

'Why not?' Sam shrieked. 'Because you're a tyrannical murderer!'

'I have never murdered anybody who didn't deserve it in some shape or form,' Megatron justified.

'You probably think a good reason is because somebody left your PopTart in the toaster for a second too long! You're insane. Crazy. Psycho. If you dare put that collar on me, I refuse to speak to you.'

'...For how long?'

'For as long as I live.'

Megatron thought about it.

'I'll talk to the others! Just not to you,' Sam continued furiously. 'We- we'll have awesome conversations!'

'Then I have a solution,' Megatron declared. 'And there will be no further argument.'

'Depends,' the human retorted.

'If you must protest so much about it, I assume that your problem lies in it being around your neck,' the Decepticon deduced, pointing at Sam's arm. 'Instead, we shall put it here.'

'No.'

'It is going somewhere.'

'What is the point? Listen, listen. When would this be for- like, being out? Really, look at me. Look,' Sam demanded.

Megatron's optics compliantly flicked up and down Sam's body.

The human didn't quite manage to repress a shiver. 'Do you think there's any possible chance of me outrunning you?'

'You escaped previously,' the Decepticon justified.

'Because of the Autobots!' Sam nearly shouted. 'Besides, how would it even work? You got a giant leash, genius?'

'I have better. This will electrocute you if you are at too extreme a distance.'

Sam didn't even know how to respond.

'Ever noticed the differences in our leg sizes?'

'Rather.'

'So I'm at an immediate disadvantage.'

'Don't worry yourself, boy. Ravage will take good care of you.'

'Ravage.'

Megatron blinked in affirmation.

'Ravage being the... dog?'

'Kitty.'

'Panther,' Soundwave interjected, waving a tendril into the room before he slid in.

'Shut up!' Sam shouted furiously. 'You are not involved in this dispute!'

'The boy wants me to himself,' Megatron deduced. 'Do shut up.'

Soundwave waved a tendril over his faceplate in a gesture of muteness.

Megatron narrowed his optics, and from what Sam could see, the two mechs seemed to be engaging in silent conversation.

That was fine.

They could do that.

Just cut off the actual argument mid-flow, no problem at all.

If Megatron wasn't able to remember what they had been fighting about, too bad.

Sam wasn't going to remind him.

Electrocution, indeed.

'Booooooy?' Megatron attempted to distract Sam from his thoughts.

The teenager decided to make a stand.

He was fed up of being bullied and discriminated against, and he would make his point.

Silence was the answer.

'Boy, how does electrocution sound for you?'

Painful, Sam's snarky mind remarked. And unnecessary. Unnecessarily painful. Would I turn out like Ash Ketchum when he gets shocked by Pikachu? Hair on end, smouldering, twitching?

However, Megatron clearly wanted a verbal response- he jabbed Sam with the end of a claw.

Pained, Sam's left cheek immediately screwed up into itself, but he gritted his teeth defiantly, refusing to make any noise. The voice in his head was fairly vocal, however, screaming at what surely felt like a stab wound.

'BOY!'

Sam gestured rudely and turned his back.

Megatron glanced over to Soundwave. The Communications Officer rolled a tentacle encouragingly.

'Boy?'

Sam kept up his cold silence.

'It won't be too harsh an electrocution.' Megatron attempted to appease him.

'You think cutting my skull open is delicate,' Sam snapped, head whirling back to glare efficiently. Well, the metallic idiot had to be informed of what was happening, else he'd continue trying to ruin the silence. 'You have no concept of anything, and I'm not talking to you anymore.'

Megatron considered this for a moment.

Clearly his appeal had done no good; Sam felt a cold snap of metal around his upper arm- some sort of band.

'I will take my chances.'

Sam curled up into a small, Sam-shaped ball. He'd damn well sulk and angst whenever he wanted to.

Megatron clearly did not concur.

Sam found himself being (very painfully) uncurled; Megatron's claws were pulling at his folded limbs. 'Will you get off?' he ordered furiously, kicking at the Decepticon pathetically.

'Booooooooooooy-'

'You're insane.'

'Goody.'

'We're having ten seconds of silence,' Sam declared, pushing a claw away from his face.

'We most certainly are not,' Megatron disagreed. 'We are speaking.'

'Ten seconds,' Sam repeated firmly.

'What does this prove?' the mech demanded.

Sam held up his hands and shook his head slightly.

Megatron moved his claws away with a petulant growl.

Sam glared as the sound continued- and then finally could stand it no more and gestured for time-out.

The growl deepened (if that were even possible).

'What is wrong with you?' Sam asked irritably. 'Silence means silence!'

'You are breaking the silence now,' Megatron frowned.

'T!' Sam shouted, slamming the fingertips of one hand into the palm of the other. 'T-shape! Time-out!'

Megatron was faintly puzzled. 'You are still speaking.'

'Fine! We'll start again! Now-' Sam jabbed a finger at the alien- 'no noises. Silence.'

One second.

Two seconds.

Three sec-

Megatron snarled.

'You- you are incapable.' Sam offered wearily.

'Silence bores me.'

'Silence- silence doesn't have to be boring!'

'I do not tolerate silence.'

'Have you never watched those movies?' Sam tried desperately. 'Silence can be creepy, horror-inducing, tension-building-'

Megatron's optics narrowed.

'I see that you still induce fear!' the human cried. The words tumbled out faster and faster until there was hardly a pause between them at all. 'I- I wasn't suggesting that you didn't- or that you weren't scary- or creepy, or incapable of striking horror into everyone- you're a pro, you've got it down, nice knack for it- and if you have your own style about it, who am I to try and- try and change it? Just do what you want to do, what feels right- ride like the wind-!'

Megatron was simply watching him. With the realisation, Sam began to worry.

'Say, uh, why don't I just go this way and you can stay over thisway and continue with your honed evil intensity. Sounds good? Yes, very very good, I know, so here I go-' he began shuffling backwards, '-see how fun this is? You can stay there and be evil- glare at that empty space like you mean it, grr, be evil thee-ere, and I'll run away and-'

The giant mech stabbed a claw at his open jacket, pinning him to the surface.

'NOOOO,' Sam wailed, 'not my jacket! My mother will-'

Another claw snapped down on his other side.

'Now you invite her wrath-!' he exclaimed, staring madly at the material and praying it hadn't ripped.

A short and sharp snarl snapped out from the Decepticon.

Sam's vocal chords wrapped around themselves- his mind was regurgitating a torrent of words but he could no more protest futilely than cry out in terror.

A strangled guhk was all that could be forced out. Then he was frozen, staring dumbly at the giant being.

'Your continuous spewing from your vocal capacitors is a cause for concern.' Megatron finally broke the silence. 'It both astonishes and intrigues me. How thrilling.'

'J-jacket?' Sam stammered miserably, the word stumbling from his lips.

'No. I rather like pinning you down.'

Sam attempted to heave a claw up. 'This isn't fair!'

'But I enjoy it, boy. It is rather amusing and faintly therapeutic, unlike pinning down minions or enemies, which is simply exhilaratingly- and most satisfyingly my right.'

'Oh, I see!' Sam cried, flailing a leg back, knee to his chest, then flung it at a claw. Quite what he was hoping for, he didn't know. 'So answer me this, tough guy- if I'm not a minion or an enemy, what am I?'

'Is this a riddle?' Megatron queried after a pause. 'These are not my sort of thing.'

'Forget iii-itt,' Sam groaned. 'Why did you even want the leash anyway?'

'So you don't get lost,' Megatron reaffirmed.

'I am less likely to get lost in a store than you are. You wouldn't even be in there anyway, you're too big!'

Sam was sure that Megatron winked- but that was impossible. Decepticons did not wink.

Right?

Two hours later, he was skulking in Walmart's cereal aisle, trying to formulate an escape plan.

He had managed to 'lose' the Decepticons (so far), who were currently flying around above the building somewhere (there had been no sight of them, so he assumed they weren't tearing the place apart yet. They weren't the most inconspicuous types).

However, he had told them he wouldn't be over ten minutes, but twenty minutes of inspecting nutrition labels had gone surprisingly quickly. It wouldn't be long before they did something drastic. Like electrocute him.

He had to think of something quickly. Was there a chance he could get a phone and call the Autobots?

He hurled the cereal box he was holding to the floor in a temper. It bounced; most unsatisfying. Why was life so cruel?

He snapped back to the present to see a small boy looking at him curiously.

Some random child had wandered up to him? God, Sam didn't need this. 'Hey, kid- just go and find your mom or dad, alright? You shouldn't be running off-'

The child was staring at him.

'Daad-?' it suddenly sang, almost questioningly.

'Yes, your dad. Can't be far away- just wander out of the aisle-' Sam ushered at him desperately.

'What's a dad? Is that like a father?'

'Eh?' Sam took a closer look at the small boy- he was maybe seven, eight, ten- hell, why not fifteen or sixty; Sam had never been good with ages. The child was red-headed, tousled-looking and cute. Very cute.

'Hell, I'm with the bran flakes! What kind of kid likes bran flakes?' Sam nearly shouted.

'Dad,' the child muttered, almost as if he was testing the word. 'I like it. Dad.'

Sam was about to just leave the weird boy there and find a new hiding place when three men startlingly appeared in front of him. And damn, they were smouldering. It hurt Sam's teenage pride to admit it, but he finally knew that what Mikaela had pressed him to confess near on every time she saw a 'hot guy' was true.

'I am a male,' he finally admitted, at last repeating what she had said to him on many an occasion, 'and I can say that other men are good-looking without being gay.' He paused to let the revelation sink in. 'Gah!' Sam cried, spinning in the opposite direction. Their attractiveness hurt. 'What is this, beauty contest in the muesli section? I'm going to relocate my ugly self to the detergents!'

'Hello, boy.'

He froze. Then turned.

Upon further inspection, they weren't quite normal.

It wasn't that they were deformed or the wrong colour or anything (Sam was slightly thankful that they weren't silver or bronze coloured)- they were just perfect to look at. Too perfect.

The one in the middle had to be Megatron. Imposing build, threatening expression and overall demeanour, and if that didn't give it away, the silver hair might. It wasn't grey, it wasn't white. It literally was silver.

Sam moved his head from side to side slightly to check if it changed shade or shone or something.

It didn't.

So who was on the left?

He was taller than Megatron, with reflective glasses and with hair so dark it seeme- the child had run up to him and started bouncing on the spot.

'I found him, Dad!'

'Screw me sideways,' Sam breathed. 'Soundwave?'

'Sideways: dead,' the dark-haired man intoned. 'Impossible.'

Sam tried not to think about whatever it was he had unknowingly said, and glanced at the remaining 'human'.

Broad shoulders, dirty-blonde, athletic figure, tossing and catching a shiny apple without even looking, faintly arrogant air- he probably knew he was divinely gorgeous, the scum- God knows who it was, but he could barely tear his eyes away.

Perhaps this was how girls felt over that Edward Cullen vampire person thing.

But freakily enough, no matter how different they looked, they were all so real- and depressingly handsome.

'I'm not gay!' Sam unintentionally shouted, feeling the need to reassure himself.

...Luckily nobody human seemed to have heard.

'I am!' somebody roared from a couple of aisles down. 'What section you in?'

Oh, hello to his good friend cringing humiliation.

The three 'adults' exchanged glances. The unidentified one shrugged nonchalantly, and Megatron and Soundwave seemed fairly worried.

'Boy?'

'I, uh- I'm not pleased about this! I'm not gay with delight about any of this!' Sam hurriedly smoothed, shouting so that everybody close by would be reassured.

'Irrelevant,' Soundwave stated.

'This is ridiculous,' Sam hissed, muscles tensing. 'Leave me alone. I don't want you here!'

'If you even shuffle so much as one step in the other direction, I will hurl this apple at you at a speed likely to break your bones.'

Well, one question answered: the figure on the end had to be Starscream.

'Look, let's talk this through,' Sam suggested, brandishing a packet he had picked up earlier. 'Over a cookie?'

'I have a different proposition,' Megatron replied- and instantly Sam's stomach fell. The tone wasn't one you were allowed to argue with. 'It is you coming with us immediately. You have spent long enough doing nothing. It is clear that you are not interested in-' He glanced at the shelves. '-Frosties.'

'I like Frosties,' Sam scowled.

Megatron was off on one of his mind-wanderings again. 'Frost. C-'

'Oh, Go-ooood,' the teenager gestured wildly. 'Back to the present! What if I don't go?'

The Decepticon snapped back to reality, evidently quite pleased to remind Sam who was in control. 'Ravage tests his holoform.'

'Ravage; dangerous,' Soundwave added. 'Holoforms; hard to control.'

'For idiots,' Starscream sniped, currently intertwining both hands' fingers and stretching his arms out before him.

'Not everybody has enough processor space for such trivial things,' Megatron retorted witheringly.

'Clearly not everybody has a processor as brilliant as mine,' Starscream smugly replied. He had obviously been waiting for such a line.

Megatron's hand snapped up to grab Starscream's ear- the other Decepticon shrieked in pain as it was twisted.

'I'm sorry!'

'I thought you would be.'

'Let go-oo?' Starscream begged, eyes filling with uninvited tears.

'How about I rip this off?' Megatron snarled, giving the ear a cruel tug.

'How-about-please-don't?'

'Give me a very good reason.'

'Because it would hurt,' Starscream whimpered. 'And because-'

'But it wouldn't be permanent damage to yourself, would it.'

'Does anything change?' Sam dumbly asked, transfixed by the scene even as Soundwave took his arm.

'Soundwave has suffered many millennia of this.'

'But Megatron wasn't even around for a lot of it- he was on Earth.'

'Millennia,' Soundwave repeated firmly.

'Decepticons aren't supposed to be having squabbles by Frosties,' Sam half-heartedly complained. 'I- I just want to be normal. Right now I want to be the guy the next aisle down who can just hear two idiots snapping at each other and think: 'Save it for the bedroom'. I don't want to think 'Oh, that'll be the Fallen and Barricade disputing which cereal to buy'.'

'The Fallen; dead,' Soundwave gently reminded.

'Just- just an example.' The human fell silent.

Soundwave (who seemed to want to bring him out of his depression) gestured at the red-headed child. 'Boy, this is Rumble.'

The child grinned mischievously. 'Can we wrestle?'

'You'd beat me,' Sam replied witheringly.

'Using simple human terminology, Rumble: son,' Soundwave continued.

'You- you've seen quite a few Decepticons, right?' Rumble suddenly asked- and if the Transformers had full awareness and control over their expressions, Sam would say the boy was nervous- and sick.

This seemed an odd question. 'Not that many.'

Soundwave shook his head firmly.

Rumble fell quiet, then mumbled. 'I know he was on Earth and that you came into contact with a lot of us. I just want to know how he is. Or- or even if he's dead. If I knew he was dead, I might feel better because then I'd know he wasn't suffering.'

Confused, Sam's mind unwittingly returned him to the horror of Sector Seven torturing his 'bee. He closed his eyes tightly, unwilling to imagine any type of Cybertronian suffering the same agony.

'You- you ever felt that way?' Rumble asked. 'You ever missed someone so bad that you feel sick? I feel it right now, deep in here.' A small hand pressed against Sam's stomach briefly, then pointed upwards at his chest. 'And there, in my spark.'

'Heart, Rumble.' Soundwave interjected quietly. 'Sam has a heart.'

'But isn't it the same thing?'

'Cannot say,' the adult answered. 'Can only judge from one perspective.'

'Worst part is he might still be alive,' Rumble whispered, eyes locked on Sam's. 'They- they blocked out the Allspark and Lord Megatron from detection. I- I can't even tell if my own brother is alive-'

'Stop, Rumble.' Soundwave wrapped an arm around the child's shoulders. Rumble buried his head in his father's coat, then turned back to a speechless Sam once more.

'D-do you know anything?' Rumble begged. 'It would almost be a relief to know- to know that he was dead.'

Sam swallowed hard and tried not to think of anything.

He was only identifying with them because they looked human, for God's sake.

The Decepticons were evil. They didn't have families and they certainly didn't love, and they did not mourn or pine.

'Frenzy is Rumble's twin,' Soundwave divulged softly. 'Appearance: very small, silver, blue optics. ...Please?'

Sam had inspiration. 'He was with... Barricade?'

It was almost painful to look at their faces. It was easier to look at Soundwave's covered eyes; you couldn't see the excruciating hope.

Sam continued the line of thought-

Oh no. Mikaela had hacked him up with a saw, and he'd even gone and kicked the head like a piece of trash.

How did you tell a father and a brother that you'd ganged up on and killed-

No, wait!

He'd seen Frenzy's head somewhere. Something niggled at the back of his mind.

'Boy?' Soundwave gently pressed.

Simmons.

The ex-agent had eagerly explained to Leo where the head had come from; some kind of giant battle with fire and shruikans and being outnumbered, outgunned and ready to sacrifice himself for the good of man when he had managed to defeat the enemy.

Frenzy's head was in Simmons' meat locker.

Oh hell, how could he tell them?

Megatron strode over at that very moment, a squirming Starscream tucked neatly under one arm. 'Well, boy? Are you coming quietly?'

Sam licked his lips nervously, trying to think of an answer that would tell Soundwave that he hadn't just been ignored-

Something nudged gently at him, mentally.

Now I'm a nutcase, Sam thought giddily. Insanity does run in the Witwicky genes.

The hysteria was broken as what could only be described as Soundwave entered his mind.

'Oh hell!' Sam shouted, hands pressing against his ears and bending over slightly. 'Tentacles!'

Megatron was affronted. 'Is it that hard a question?'

Soundwave was urgent. Boy, answer query. Do you know?

'Y-yes?' the human wavered.

This seemed to satisfy Megatron, who had still been waiting on his question to be answered. 'Then move.'

Query, boy: will you help?

'If I can,' Sam replied miserably.

'If you-' Megatron's patience had been used up for the day- a hand snapped out and took Sam's arm tightly (with a grip stronger than- well, anything Earthly) before striding off. 'We are going.'

Cringing in pain, Sam offered no resistance, almost trotting to keep up with the pace.

Starscream was snarling angrily from Megaton's other side. 'Put me down!'

'NO!' Megatron bellowed, seeing several concerned people watching. 'You aren't getting any candy!'

Some knowledgeable parents nodded wisely, glancing at their own staring offspring.

'Don't make a scene, brat!' Megatron continued loudly.

'I'm not the brat,' Sam hastily called out to the bystanders. 'I'm just- just the good son!'

'Son?' Megatron hissed.

'No normal human carries another of no relation- especially under their arm whilst dragging another along, Megatron,' Sam snapped.

They were nearing the checkout now. Hopefully they'd just go past without a fuss-

'Put me down now!' Starscream shrieked, wriggling manically.

'He acts like he's five,' Megatron commented with a dashing smile to the checkout girl.

She nearly fainted.

'He's incredibly dense,' Sam added. 'Very good looking, but that's it.'

'SOUNDWAVE!' Megatron roared suddenly. 'Get the boy some FOOD!'

'In fact,' the human continued venomously, 'they're all dense. Runs in the family. If they've got the looks, they're just really, really dumb.'

Megatron released Sam's arm momentarily to cuff him soundly.

'Oaahhhhhh!' Sam groaned, other hand massaging his head. 'Why would you do that?'

'So which are you?' the girl asked.

'Eh?' Sam grunted embarrassingly.

'You don't seem dumb,' she elaborated shyly, 'and you're just as nice as the rest of them.'

Sam's cheeks blossomed into giant balls of flame, and he could only stammer, his mouth opening and closing mutely.

Megatron was side-glancing him incredulously.

Sam suddenly managed to get his vocal chords to obey him. 'Got to go!' he roared, voice startlingly loud, attempting to charge towards the exit.

However, his arm didn't follow the rest of his body due to it being held back by Megatron.

Sam's lower limbs slowly backpedalled underneath his torso.

'I have it!' Megatron suddenly announced.

'Oh God,' the teenager prayed. 'God, I never prayed much before but please help me now. I swear I'll be a better man.'

'SOUNDWAVE-!' the Decepticon Commander bellowed. 'The boy needs a mate!'

'Soundwave; currently overwhelmed by choice of cereal,' the other mech wailed back.

'Ooooh!' Sam cried, seizing his chance. 'Fruit Loops! Get me something sugary!'

Starscream punched at Megatron's chest. 'As if you need something sugary, you hyperactive-'

Enraged at this notion that he would be deprived of sugar, Sam hit the Seeker in the face hurriedly. 'Stop ruining my life!'

There was a moment of shocked silence.

Starscream sneezed, and Megatron twitched.

'Stop that noise, you fool.'

'He punched me in the face!' Starscream shrieked indignantly.

'Don't be an idiot,' Megatron snapped witheringly.

'Didn't you see?' the other Decepticon wailed, trying to hold his nose.

'I was glaring at the ceiling,' the Commander snarled. 'Of course I didn't see something that didn't happen, you-'

'He did!' Starscream accused, pointing unhappily.

'The boy is incapable of violence,' Megatron reminded him. 'Besides, as if it would hurt you. Are you or are you not second in command of the most dangerous army in existence?'

Starscream grumbled an affirmative.

'Then do not make such unmechly noises as that retarded nose and mouth snort-wheeze.'

'...Sneeze?' Sam offered.

'That's what I said, boy. Snort-wheeze.'

Poor Starscream. LOL JK, who doesn't like abusing him?

Yeaaaaaaasssssss, that was nearly some sadness with Frenzy earlier in this chapter. Shock. xO And I will actually be going somewhere with that storyline too; Soundwave and Rumble will return!

Till next time, in which the boy is given inappropriate food and Ravage may finally get out! ;D

PS. My line breaks may have gone a little dodgy. Please forgive this, good people. I shall try to RECTify it as soon as possible. (LOL, injokes with the WTTTOROTF crowd. I'm so immature today.)