"But I don't wanna wait until we get home!" Shawn whined. "You'll just say no."
Carlton watched in silence while Shawn huffed, sat down in a nearby chair, and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You... Shawn, now isn't the time to talk about it," Carlton finally said.
"But why? It isn't like you're actually doing anything right now!"
"I am, too. I'm dealing with a spoiled, whiny brat," he calmly replied. He could feel Shawn's eyes boring a hole into his skull, but there was nothing he could do about that right now.
"Shawn," Gus called.
"What?" Shawn snapped unhappily.
"Could you rub my shoulders and back a little bit?" Juliet answered. "Pretty please?"
"We are not done here, mister," Shawn pointed at Carlton while walking backwards to Juliet's desk.
"Detective Lassiter?" Carlton's head swung in the direction of the new voice.
"Yes, McNab?"
"Could you sign these for me?" Buzz asked, his voice composed, but his eyes laughing. The detective narrowed his eyes, but a happy moan from Juliet, who was leaning forward on her desk so Shawn could work out the tense muscles in her back, kept him from saying anything.
"Fine," he grumbled and snatched the sheets away.
"That's it!" Juliet exclaimed as she shot to her feet and tossed an empty coffee cup to her newly-changed trashcan. "No more coffee. Ever again. This is LITERALLY the eighth time I've had to pee today!"
Gus, Shawn, and Carlton all watched her stalk off to the bathroom. Shawn was the only one who looked slightly amused.
"She's-"
"Just no, Shawn," Gus cut him off.
"But-" Gus threw a wadded up sheet of paper at Shawn, then turned to face him completely with a weird look on his face. Lassiter caught the look and was trying to figure it out when Gus finally started speaking to Shawn.
"Uh, when you tan, does EVERYTHING tan?" Gus asked, shifty eyes and all.
"Gus, please please don't tell me you're tanning!" Shawn said in mock-horror, his mouth open in a perfect, little O and one hand pressed to his chest. "It's so..." Shawn drifted off and made wild, flourishing movements with his hands.
Gus angrily smacked his best friend in turn. "You know I meant Juliet! I mean, look at those legs of hers!" Gus finished with a sniff.
"Well, they are pure caramel perfection..." Shawn agreed. Lassiter snorted and looked down quickly before the two men could look over at him.
"But I wouldn't know, Gus. I'm naturally this golden-awesome," Shawn eventually said. An idea struck him then and he grinned widely at him. "Dude, maybe she's pregnant!" There was a beat of silence before they burst out into raucous laughter. Shawn fell to the floor and literally started rolling around.
"Yeah, right, Shawn," Gus gasped out.
Carlton decided to ignore them. For now. He might not be so patient in five minutes.
Juliet finally made it back to her seat and sat down. She tapped her pen on the desk surface for a long moment and made a face. It had gotten to the point that Carlton was about to throw something in her general direction, though obviously not aiming for her, when she stopped and looked up at Gus, her expression shifting from intense concentration to an almost too-sweet expression.
"When are you and Shawn getting food?" she asked with an angelic look on her beautiful face.
"Um, well, it's only 10:30. I thought we'd wait another hour or so, then get some Chinese." Stopping for a minute, he turned to Shawn. "You do still want Chinese, right? Yesterday, you changed your mind three times before deciding on thai."
Carlton shook his head and felt a smirk forming around his mouth. Gus was always giving in and doing what Shawn wants; it was almost sad. It seemed like second nature to him now. He sighed quietly and tuned back into the conversation.
"Well, Gussy, I was thinking you could pick me up some Mexican instead?" Juliet smiled even more sweetly, making sure to duck her head down a little.
"Gussy?" Shawn asked while making juvenile 'kissy' faces at Gus.
"Shawn, please. Mexican good with you?" Gus asked after he slapped his best friend for being an idiot. "If not, you're walking."
"Mmmm... Mexican," Shawn said.
Carlton looked up from his case file and noticed that Juliet looked pretty today, she looked too pretty. Hmm. Maybe she should wear less makeup; it might be a little distracting to the other officers working. He quickly dismissed the thought.
"And I was thinking you could do it, like, now instead of later. Pretty please? I'm hungry," Juliet continued. Carlton looked over at her and cocked his head to the side a bit.
Shawn, meanwhile, merely watched Juliet with an eyebrow lifted for a moment, then smiled- almost leered- at his best friend as he spoke to Juliet. "Haha, didn't get a chance to eat this morning, oh lovely Juliet?" Carlton could swear he just saw Shawn's eyebrows wiggling up and down.
"Shawn," Carlton said in a warning tone. The last time Shawn had tried butting into Gus and Juliet's sex life, Carlton had ended up having to let Shawn out of Juliet's handcuffs. In the lady's bathroom. After looking for him for three hours. On their anniversary.
"I did eat this morning, Shawn, I'm just hungry again." She turned to Gus and whined a little. "Guuuuus, please?"
He smiled. "Alright. Shawn, you coming?"
Shawn looked to Carlton a moment, blue eyes meeting Shawn's own. Shawn read the answer in Carlton's eyes and smiled the happy, little smile reserved only for Carlton before turning back to Gus.
"Let's go, Ovaltine Jenkins!"
"Shawn."
"Black Magic?"
"Shawn," Gus tried again.
"Chocolate Einstein?"
"Shaaaawn." At this, Gus curled his fists involuntarily.
"Sher-black-lock?" Shawn shook his hips side to side for each syllable.
"Sha-wn." Gus was getting angry now; Shawn's name had split in two.
"The Black Goose?"
"Shawn!" Gus finally got a little loud, though not loud enough to worsen Juliet s headache.
"Chocolate Columbo?"
"Shawn!" Gus looked like he was about to hit Shawn. Carlton shook his head yet again. He didn't understand why Shawn loved doing that to Gus. For that matter, he almost didn't know why Gus put up with it. Almost.
"Lodge Blackman?"
"SHAWN!" This time Juliet, Gus, and Carlton yelled at Shawn. Juliet was hungry and Gus was about to kill his best friend. Carlton was just trying to save Shawn from an angry Gus and a certain ravenous, gun-toting junior detective who was already irritated with the younger man.
"Okay, let's go. You paying, Doughnut Holschtein?" Shawn kept up the name game with Gus like he hadn t been yelled at.
"No, I am not, Shawn. You're paying for your own damn tacos," Gus said in a huff as he walked toward the doors.
"Just for that, Gus, I'm renaming you Scrooge Jones!" Shawn yelled out as he jogged for the door.
Carlton sighed deeply again and tried to refocus on his work, but there was something something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He kept thinking about all of the things that had been going wrong with his partner today. If she were sick, he couldn t risk her getting worse and missing work. It was hell trying to work with some ditzy, untrained partner.
Various thoughts flashed through his head. Back pain. Headaches. Urination. Nausea. Hmm. Could be the kidneys. He made a mental note to talk to Juliet later, maybe give her a heads up.
Twenty minutes later, after three phone calls from Juliet adding things to the list of the usual food she eats and two more calls from Carlton telling them to get their asses back before O'Hara started eating the desk, Gus and Shawn finally walked through the door. Carlton glanced up to see his boyfriend's arms loaded down with food, everyone's drinks in Gus's hands.
Juliet looked up eagerly and waited for her food. Gus passed her three supreme tacos, some chicken nachos, a burrito, and a churro while Shawn took his and Carlton's food out of the bags. He grabbed their food and drinks, walked over to the chair Carlton pulled up beside him, and sat down.
"I got you chicken nachos, a taco, and a churro. Good?" Shawn sat Carlton's food in front of him and carefully set their drinks to the side. Carlton took a moment to look away from his work to smile warmly at the man at his side.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Shawn," he said, but then frowned. Shawn was looking down at the file in front of Carlton.
"Uh, babe." Shawn leaned closer, read a few more lines, then looked at Carlton again. "I just solved your robbery case for you," Shawn quietly exclaimed while again smiling that private smile of his.
Carlton looked at Shawn again for a second.
"You did?" He was shocked, but was hiding it well enough. Literally five seconds of looking at the file and this- this genius- in front of him had solved the case. He was slightly skeptical all the same, even though he'd been around this for years and knew how Shawn really solved the cases.
"Yeah, it was the owner. He figures since the robberies were of a pawn shop, no one would notice when things go missing. But when the original owner of that cap gun there, the one from 1903, came by and saw it'd gone, and the owner didn't have anything to show the guy it'd been sold, the owner claimed he'd been robbed the night before. Before you and Jules could show up, he grabbed some of the more expensive items there and shoved them into the ceiling tiles above the front counter. I bet if you look now, the missing items will be back on display."
Carlton had a little difficulty closing his mouth.
"What?" Shawn asked.
"No visions and bouncing around this time?" Carlton asked.
"You sound disappointed," Shawn noted, amused.
Carlton ignored him, then called out to Buzz. The other man ran over and smiled at Carlton. "What's up?" Buzz asked after he caught the bag of tacos and burritos Shawn tossed at him.
"I need you to go back to Murphy's Pawn and look for the stolen items. We had a 'tip' that they are back on display. If they're not, I almost guarantee they're above the counter in the ceiling tiles."
Buzz smiled again before turning away and calling to another officer. The officer listened to Buzz a moment then caught the taco Buzz chucked at his head. The two men walked out of the precinct, laughing good-naturedly. Carlton scowled a little halfheartedly, then gave it up as a lost cause.
"You know, if you keep making that face, it's gonna stay that way," Shawn said around the bite of taco in his mouth. Carlton smiled and took a bite of his nachos.
"Ohh, really?" he tried to ask, though it came out kind of muffled.
Shawn chuckled to himself and watched Gus and Jules bicker over who had the most hot sauce on their tacos. When it was decided that Gus actually had the most sauce, Juliet traded him tacos.
"A child, Shawn?" Carlton asked quietly, almost out of nowhere. Shawn had about forgotten about announcing it earlier.
"Well, yeah I mean, I like kids," Shawn said and tried to shrug off how important this conversation really was to him.
"You know having a child is a really big deal? More important than that turtle we bought last year-"
"Or the bunny two years ago, or the kitten last week," Shawn continued on with what Carlton was saying.
"What kitten?" Instant Lassie Storm Clouds settled on Carlton s face, so Shawn hurried to get to his point.
"The point is, Carlton, you've always wanted a baby, a child. I like kids... want a kid of my own'... like, when you weren't home, I would still have someone to talk to and teach my awesomeness to... You know?" Shawn asked a little desperately at the end while peeking up at Carlton s face.
The Lassie Storm Clouds were gone, so Shawn could breathe a little easier.
"You really want a child?" Carlton couldn't believe he was even having this conversation right now. He sighed. Shawn had been hinting about this for months now, as had Buzz, Henry, Juliet, Gus... hell, even the chief had mentioned it in passing a few times.
Shawn's green eyes were saying everything right now. Carlton found himself getting lost in them, as he usually did. He broke the trance by blinking and looking out towards the rest of the station before looking at Shawn again.
"Give me a little time to think about this, Shawn."