I almost feel like not writing anything here, but yet I'm compelled to blather. It's weird, even moreso since my own family needs to force me to partake in a conversation.
Okay, no, I think this is the extent of what I'm going to write here.
"Eren." Something poked at his cheek. "Eren, wake up."
Eren mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep, but otherwise didn't stir.
"We've been at the hospital all night and even slept in this guy's room, now come on, get up and let's go."
"Mmmmmnggh, go away…" He yawned. "Give me five more minutes…"
"I will shove you out of your chair."
At the threat, Eren slowly straightened up from his position of laying his head down on Levi's bed as a makeshift pillow and rubbed his eyes. "Go get yourself some coffee or something, Mikasa, goddamn. Or at least learn to be a morning person."
Mikasa raised her eyebrows at Eren. "There's no such thing as a 'morning person'. Now come on, we need to go. He made it through the night and we miraculously over-stayed our welcome here. You can go home now knowing that he didn't die."
He frowned slightly and looked at the man that lay asleep in the hospital bed. Eren couldn't help but feel responsible for his injury, even if only somewhat, but Mikasa was right. There was no use in moping over him.
He stood up and stretched, his back and shoulders creaking and aching in protest against his sleeping position. "Fine, then. Let's go."
As they both turned to leave the room, they heard a groan and a garbled sentence sounding distinctly like "what the hell".
Eren looked back to Levi, who was trying to sit up but fell back down with a wince.
"You're awake."
The bed ridden man sent him a withering glare. "So I noticed. Can someone tell me what the hell happened?" he asked, his voice slightly cleared.
The brunette tilted his head in confusion. "You mean… you don't remember?"
"Normally, when someone asks 'what happened', they don't know what the fuck happened." Levi bit irritably.
"You decided to try to kill yourself in the alley near our apartment complex." Mikasa spoke up, walking away from the door to join Eren and Levi. "You tried to shoot yourself in the head, but wound up shooting yourself in the shoulder instead. We drove you up here to get your wound patched up. You're welcome."
His expression sobered at the mention of suicide and then hardened, turning his gaze to the IV stuck in his arm.
"Of course he did…" Levi muttered.
"The doctors have been saying something about a forty-eight hour psych evaluation," Eren stated, which brought Levi's eyes up to him. "I've heard them talk about a mental health ward, too."
Levi nodded, taking in the information. "And who are you two? Why are you here?" he asked.
"I… was the one who pushed the gun and made you shoot yourself in the shoulder. I didn't want to just drop you here. I wanted to make sure you were alright." Eren looked a little upset as he spoke. "I'm Eren, by the way."
"You know that you're supposed to pull the gun away in situations like that, right?" Levi commented, which made Eren look at the man strangely. Was… he receiving advice from someone who a few hours earlier, tried to take his own life? There was such a thing as having a change of heart…
Levi looked up to Mikasa, eyes showing expectation of an introduction from her as well.
"I'm Mikasa. We drove here in Eren's car and I didn't feel like driving back home at one in the morning just to come back up here to pick Eren up a few hours later." She stated bluntly.
The vague reminder made something in Eren's mind click. "Oh, shit, that's right. I have work today!" He hastily pulled out his cell phone to check the time, ignorant of the clock on the wall the ticked seconds away almost completely in time with the audible beep of Levi's heart monitor. "It's nine already." Eren looked up from his phone to Mikasa. "We need to go."
"It took you looking at the time yourself to realize that when I said the same thing five minutes ago?" Mikasa sighed.
Eren pulled a face at her, locking his phone and pocketing it. He looked back down to Levi, who appeared ready to pass back out. The hospital painkillers must have been pretty heavy.
"Um… I… hope you feel better?" he offered lamely, cringing at his own poor choice of words.
"Wow, thanks. Don't forget to get me a card, too. 'Congratulations on failing to kill yourself. Don't do it again.'" Levi deadpanned. "Make sure to put money, none of that gift card bullshit."
Eren felt his cheeks flame up in embarrassment and abruptly turned to leave again, noticing Mikasa slipping out past the thick wooden door.
"Eren."
He heard Levi call his name and turned around yet again to face him, his reply none too gentle. "What?"
"Can I have your number? I know we just met, but I want to have it in case I need someone to talk to. Believe it or not, I don't really have many people that I talk to often."
The request momentarily shocked Eren, but he quickly recovered. Grabbing a note pad that sported the name of some type of medicine that he couldn't pronounce and a pen, he scribbled down his number. As a last minute thought, he wrote his name above it in big letters.
He placed the pad back on the table. "Here you go."
The man simply nodded and said nothing as Eren returned to the door.
As Eren gripped the door handle, Levi spoke again.
"I appreciate it, what you did last night. Someone's life doesn't need to be thrown away so carelessly."
It almost sounded like he was talking about someone else rather than himself. Eren shook his head, physically forcing thoughts back. "Take care, Levi." He said, and then walked out.
He shut the door behind him and headed up the hall, memories suddenly trudging to the surface of a man sitting in his study, his broad back slumped over the desk… Panic squeezed his chest, allowing him to run into a woman in a lab coat, spilling her papers onto the laminated tile floor and pulling him back to the present.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Eren immediately apologized, stooping to the floor to pick the papers up.
"No, no, you're okay! I should have watched where I was going. It's been a long day." She dismissed it, taking the papers from Eren's hands and shoving them into a manila file.
"Tell me about it." He muttered and stood up.
"I would, but I need to be somewhere. Plus, I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear all of the gory details. Literally gory." She laughed and ruffled her ponytail. "Now, if you'll excuse me."
She turned and continued down the hall, turning into Levi's room of all places.
Huh, what are the odds… Eren thought absently and made his way out of the hospital.
He looked back over to the notepad, where the name 'Eren Jaeger' stuck off the paper in big, dark letters along with his number in equally big, dark numbers.
Now I just need to make sure this gets to his phone, he thought with a sigh. If I don't do it, he sure as hell won't.
Wincing as he sat up straighter, he looked around for his clothes.
"They better be washing my clothes if they're not here…" he grumbled.
"God, I am so fucked."
Suddenly the door swung open, nearly banging against the wall. A woman with a ponytail that appeared to contain only half of her hair and wearing a lab coat walked in, a file with papers sticking out in her hand.
"Good morning, sunshine! And how are we this morning?" she practically sang, not even looking at him. She set the file down near his feet and headed straight for the chart attached to the foot of his bed.
"Do you need to be so loud? It's obnoxious." He griped.
"Oh, someone just woke up from their sedative-induced sleep, didn't they?" She patted her pockets and clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Damn, I need a pen." She headed for the table next to him, looked at him and gasped as she grabbed the pen Eren used earlier.
"Levi?! Holy crap, it's been what, fifteen years? Do you remember me?"
His response was automatic. " No."
The woman's face fell. "Hanji? Hanji Zoe? The girl from the orphanage that named a ladybug Gerald?"
"No."
"You don't-" Hanji stared at the chart in her hand. "'Suicide attempt'? What brought this on?"
He shrugged. "Hell if I know. I didn't do it."
Hanji furrowed her eyebrows and pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose with the pen. She grabbed the file off of the bed and opened it, flipping papers around and scanning the contents of them.
"I'm not speaking to Levi, am I?" she asked after a small silence.
"No, you're not." He sat back.
"Who may I be having the pleasure of speaking to, then?"
"Rivaille."
Hanji nodded. "Rivaille, is there a way you can… patch me through to Levi?"
"Do I look like some sort of telephone operator? Besides, this isn't exactly voluntary." Rivaille gestured to himself.
"No, I understand! It's just that some patient with Dissociative Identity Disorder sort of… learn to channel their alters in a sense?" she explained.
"I have a question about that. Exactly how common is it for someone to 'channel' personalities?"
Hanji averted her eyes, seemingly not willing to answer the question. She set Levi's file down and noticed the piece of paper with Eren's name and number on it. "Ooh, planning a hot date, are you? Wow, they write with a heavy hand." She ran her hand over the paper, feeling the grooves in it from the writing.
Rivaille entertained Hanji's change of subject. "He's more of a beacon of sanity for us. But, if it turns out to be a more involved relationship, I won't complain." He shrugged indifferently.
"So, Eren's a 'he', huh?" Hanji wiggled her eyebrows.
Rivaille leveled Hanji with a glare, deciding to change the subject back. "You never answered my question."
"Ah, it's not really all that common, but-" she started, but was quickly cut off.
"That's what I thought."
Hanji made a strange strangled noise. "Anyway, I need Levi right now, not you. I know switching isn't entirely voluntary, but in order for the two of you to get out of here any time soon, I need to speak to Levi."
"I'm sure he'll come back soon. Just give it time."
She chuckled. "You make it sound like Levi's a little kid that constantly runs away from home."
"He is." Rivaille insisted. "Think about a few things, Hanji. Levi was addicted to drugs, alcohol, he's tried to kill himself." He counted the offenses on his fingers. "Doesn't a lot of that sound like someone who wants to run away?"
"How do you know about the drugs and alcohol?" Hanji inquired.
"Because I've seen the bottles, the syringes, the lines of coke. I've woken up completely tripping balls too many times to be comfortable with. I also checked his sorry ass into rehab six months ago."
"Right. Well," Hanji flopped herself down into the chair near Rivaille's bed. "I guess I'll just wait for an hour or two like you said. I need a break anyway because dear god, I've been up half the night doing case reports. Transplants, heart attacks, asthma attacks, there was even one animal attack." She shook her head. "Poor sap got mauled by a bear. He made it, though. His right leg and part of his hand, however… not so much. It's nice to get a head case ever once in a while. Oh, um, no offense, Rivaille."
Rivaille ignored her comment and raised an eyebrow in questioning. "How is it 'nice' dealing with psychos?"
"Well," Hanji crossed her legs and placed her hands on her perched knee in a dramatic sweep. "it offers a change, shakes thing up a bit. You've got the crazies that babble to themselves and eventually get put into full body restraints, the people who come in every other week claiming they have some sort of fatal illness, and the people who offer a new person to talk to every five minutes. The list goes on, really."
She put a hand on her face and puffed out air, sending her bangs flying. "They never stay long, though, which sucks. The psychiatric ward is always quick to claim their patients. You probably won't have me as a doctor by tomorrow, but I'll try my damnedest to keep your case. You and Levi are interesting. It also might help Levi, seeing a familiar face. Suicidal people normally feel alone."
"For someone who claims to be tired, you run your mouth a hell of a lot." Rivaille pointed out. His eyes flicked over to the table and he remembered what he wanted to do before Hanji appeared.
"Where are my clothes? I need my phone."
"Your clothes? They should be in here." Hanji got up from the chair and started to look around the room, finding a neatly folded stack of clothes in a bag near the foot of the bed. "Aha! Here they are!" She lifted the bag for Rivaille to see, and then pulled a mischievous grin. "So… are you more of a boxers guys or a briefs guy?"
"Right now? Nothing because these sheets aren't even thick enough for me to wipe my ass with them and there's a draft in here that will probably make me literally freeze my balls off. Now hand me the bag, you pervert."
Rivaille raised his arm, but let it fall back to his side. His face evened out and his thought came to a screeching halt.
…Why was he there? Wait, it was a hospital. He…
Grey eyes widened.
A gun.
A boy with green eyes fighting with him over a life.
His life.
Levi's life.
Oh. He didn't die after all.
Was that a good thing?
There was a woman in front of him, holding out a bag to him. She looked concerned, saying something Levi couldn't quite discern.
She was familiar.
Levi blinked one, twice.
The woman's still talking, clearer now.
"Rivaille? Are you okay?"
"Who…?"
The woman stopped for a moment, and then spoke again.
"…Levi? Do you remember me?"
He remembered a girl, her hair put haphazardly into a ponytail, new glasses too big for her face, and a cheeky grin with a missing tooth.
"Hanji."
Hanji smiled, looking relieved.
"Been a long time, huh?" Her smile faded. "You know why you're here, yeah?"
"I…" Admitting to someone he hadn't seen in fifteen years that he tried to commit suicide suddenly seemed very hard to do.
What have you been doing with your life?
Oh, mostly trying to throw it away.
He forced the words out anyway. Step one is always to admit you have a problem.
Stupid rehab.
"I tried to kill myself."
Hanji nodded. "It says you were admitted with a gunshot wound to your right shoulder. There are two witnesses that say you originally planned to shoot yourself in the head, but the gun was pushed, causing a less fatal wound. There is no nerve damage to your shoulder or arm, but I don't recommend you using your right arm for a few more days. There will be minor aches and pains, which you'll be given painkillers for regularly.
"Now, um…" Hanji ruffled the hair gathered in her ponytail. "About your… situation. The hospital wants to keep you for a couple more days for a psych evaluation, just to make sure you're okay. I'll try to keep tabs with you, but I can't guarantee that I can."
Her eyes flickered back and forth behind her glasses and then widened. "Oh! And!" She grabbed a piece of paper from a note pad beside Levi's bed and shoved it into his hands. "A friend of yours wanted you to have his number on hand. You clothes are here in this bag if you want to grab your phone and save it."
Hanji leaned closer and cupped her mouth. "Don't worry, I haven't snooped and found out what type of underwear you wear. You're still pure." She winked and Levi swatted her away.
"Nice to see you haven't changed." He muttered.
"Stop, you'll make me blush, Levi." Hanji turned her head and made an 'oh you' gesture with her hand.
"Whelp, I'm pretty sure I need to go do rounds and junk now, so I'll leave you be. If you need anything, there's a button on the wall next to you. The hospital recommends using it for emergencies, but screwing with the orderlies is just as good. I'll see you later!"
She grabbed a file from the table next to him and left, swinging the door shut behind her.
Levi looked at the paper in his hand, confused. Who the hell was this Eren Jaeger person? He wanted to just crumple the paper and toss it, but something kept him from doing that.
The same thing also urged him to grab his phone. He looked at the bag placed by his thigh and started to reach for it with his right hand, but instantly pulled back as surged through his arm. He tried again using his left hand, weakly grabbing the plastic and pulling it towards himself.
He shuffled around the clothes until he found the pants he wore that night, retrieving his phone.
Flipping the phone open, Levi began dialing numbers, not even looking at the paper and saving it as a new contact.
After her typed in the name and pressed 'OK', Levi sat back and silently wondered why he felt like he knew the name and number by heart.