Trainwreck on Kamabakka
Chapter 4: As Steam Flies Up to Join the Sky
They arrived at the market, and Sanji moved skittishly out of his embrace. Zoro let him, and looked up and down the surprisingly short row of buildings and stalls. A modest crowd milled about, every single member either a man dressed as a woman, or a woman dressed as a man. He wasn't sure what disturbed him more, the ones who did horrible jobs or the ones that were shockingly convincing. No wonder Sanji hated it here; all the females had cast away their feminine beauty, and all the feminine beauties were really male.
"Oh, Cook-chan!" the merchants called out as they passed by. Zoro was disappointed they didn't call him by name and thus end the game, but amused when he realized that Sanji must have made a point not to give his real name out. He almost felt bad about tormenting the poor guy.
Heh heh. Not really.
"So, what kind of supplies are we looking for?" Sanji asked, a few steps ahead of him. His long golden hair shimmered in the late morning sun, and Zoro found himself staring at the spot where he knew the fake hair must start, trying to see the difference. Sanji turned around when he didn't answer, though, so he pasted on an innocent expression.
"You know…food."
"Food. Are we talking hardtack here, or something a little more palatable?"
"Um…lets assume that an expert chef will b—is on board, and we'll need whatever they would want?"
Sanji gave him a deadpan stare, causing Zoro to sweat nervously. With a huff, he turned away, muttering something about ignorant savages and being entirely too nice. Zoro grinned and found himself thanking the gods of the ocean that his cook cared more about getting things done right then proving his own point. But just to play it safe, he'd keep the teasing to a minimum until Sanji had finished doing his work for him.
The cook moved quickly from shop to shop, stall to stall, haggling expertly for every purchase. For some sellers he breathed down their necks aggressively, bristling threats until they surrendered and knocked a few belis off the price; for others he smiled sweetly and peered demurely through his eyelashes until the cost reduced on its own. He looked particularly grumpy after the latter type, though. Flour and yeast, meat and salt, a wide variety of spices, barrels of water and beer and citrus fruits; one after the other the orders were placed to be delivered to the docks, where the ship's purse would pay the bill. Zoro had to admire his efficiency. By noon the shopping was already done, with a better variety and for a better price then he could have gotten on his own.
Sanji emerged from the last shop, emanating rays of irritation. Realizing he was doing a poor job of "showing the lady a good time," he tried to think of what he could do to correct that problem. "Um…is there anything you would like? For yourself, I mean." The cook gave him an unreadable look as he got out another cigarette.
"Lunch. Away from here. Go buy something suitable for a picnic." At Zoro's hesitation, he pointed to a food stall and the swordsman scrambled to comply.
* * *
They walked towards the beach, Sanji's mood still dark even as the crowd fell away and a cool breeze blew in off the ocean waves. Practically every merchant or fellow shopper he talked to wanted to know who his "handsome date" was, or how he had snagged him, or congratulated him on his catch, or had some dirty comment about "great his day was going to end." It wasn't fair! How come Zoro got to dress as he pleased and was admired for his manliness, but he got hunted down and forced into drag? I'm every bit manly as he is! I'm a strong fighter, and would protect any woman with my last breath. So what if I'm a fabulous cook and take pride in how I look and dress? What, just because I don't eat testosterone for breakfast or lift 500lb weights with one hand, that somehow makes me girly? He glared daggers at Zoro, who did his best to ignore it as they reached the end of a short, grassy cliff overlooking the sand and surf. He felt somewhat mollified as he watched the swordsman struggle comically to lay the large sheet he had purchased over the grass while the wind kept catching the corners and blowing it over. Some manly man, can't even figure out a picnic blanket.
Finally Zoro used the basket and a few rocks he found to weigh down the corners and they sat. Sanji removed the wicker lid and examined the contents inside: bread, cheese, fruit, chocolate, a knife, two plates, two glasses and a bottle of wine. Simple choices for a simple man, I suppose, but they seem romantic enough as a whole. I guess he passes. He removed the knife and was about to slice the bread when Zoro stopped him with a hand on his wrist. "Allow me. This is your chance to sit back and relax." Sanji stared at him, nonplussed, as Zoro took over and neatly served up the food. He's no cook, but he knows how to handle a blade, I'll give him that.
Puffy white clouds sailed dreamily by overhead as they ate, and the ocean waves ebbed and flowed over the sandy beach below. Sanji drained the last of his glass and lay back on the blanket, savoring a piece of chocolate on his tongue. This wasn't so bad, at the moment anyway. He thought about lighting up another cigarette, but the sun was warm and the salty breeze pleasant, and sleepiness was creeping up on him. If he closed his eyes he could almost believe that he was back on the Thousand Sunny, his friends all around him and relaxing away an uneventful day.
* * *
Aho-cook, Zoro thought with a smile twitching his lips as he watched Sanji's painted eyelids drift lazily closed. As if a real girl would fall asleep beside a strange man she just met. He watched his chest rise and fall as the rhythm of his breathing slowed and evened, and decided to take the opportunity to stare without being glared at. It was odd when he thought about it; both Sanji and Nami possessed some ugly expressions, and both spent entirely too much time on their looks. But while he didn't think Nami would make a very appealing man if she tried to dress up as one, Sanji was surprisingly pretty as a woman. Perhaps it was because he was so obsessed with them. But then again, most of the okamas he'd seen today were obsessed with womanly beauty (for themselves) as well, yet looked hideous. Perhaps it was because they overdid it? Zoro tried imagining Sanji with the kind of caked-on clown paint the others had worn, and found himself doubled over with stifled laughter. He would bet almost anything that those cross-dressers had painted him up like that at first until he rebelled. Which meant that he was doing the makeup himself now, didn't it? Zoro pictured the cook leaning in front of a mirror next to Nami and Robin, mouth slightly open, applying mascara to his lashes and pastels to his parted lips.
For some reason, Zoro didn't find that quite as funny as the first image. It probably had something to do with the fact that the real Sanji, sleeping like a baby in front of him, had parted his lips slightly in his sleep. The sun had just peeked out from behind a cloud, causing the elongated lashes to cast delicate shadows upon his skin, and the long golden hair to shimmer in the light. The combined effect was making Zoro feel distinctly uncomfortable. His plans for the day were to embarrass his crewmate, maybe get a little blackmail for holding over him when he was being particularly annoying, not to gain any kind of appreciation for his new look. Obviously he had been staring too long.
Arranging his swords more comfortably around him, Zoro rested his arms over his crossed legs and bowed his head, ears open to catch anyone's approach. It really was a gorgeous day for sleeping outdoors, and far be it for Zoro to miss out.
Chapter 2 has now been corrected. Who knew "complement" was not the same as "compliment?" I do now, that's who.
Props to those of you who noticed the chapter titles. Yes, they'll form a poem. Corny? Probably.
Guess what? I'm already working on the this story's sequel. But I need your help! What are some of the usual ways that fanfics get Zoro and Sanji together? You know... the clichés that you're tired of and/or loathe with a passion. You should tell me about them in your review, so I can purposely set them up and then completely dodge them. It'll be fun, I promise! :P