Chapter 4

Kyouko determinately stayed in character as Bo from the moment that Ren stepped through the door. The conversation they had backstage baffled even Yashiro, but as soon as they stepped on set, professionalism set in, and the two ceased their discussion. Bo did not even pull faces when Ren's responses to the egg questions were borderline lies.

The problem started in the second part of the show: the food special.

"Welcome back. Since Tsuruga-san is here tonight, Bo made a special treat for him to eat. We are all glad Tsuruga-san is here tonight. Are you glad he is here?"

The Ishibashi brothers laughed and feigned covering their ears at the audience's enthusiastic response.

Ren smiled his gentlemanly smile, trying to hide his grimace at the food presented to him by his bird pal. It looked sweet, and he would have to feign enjoyment. He inwardly sighed and took a bite, fixing his gentlemanly smile in place as he lifted his fork. The delicate lemon and cinnamon flavours hit his tongue and he froze. He knew this cooking. There was only one person who could cook like this.

"Who did you say cooked this cake?" He asked the Ishibashi's thoughtfully.

"Do you like it? Bo cooked it for you."

Ren didn't register the name; he knew who had cooked it, and was just looking for the repeat of the phrase 'cooked it for you'. The words spun wondrously around his mind.

Kyouko had cooked this especially for him, without Yashiro nagging her. His gentlemanly smile slipped into a genuine one as he thought.

"Ohhhh…" Shinichi turned to the crowd jokingly, "I think he's fallen in love. Do you love Bo, Tsuruga-san?"

"Yes, I love her" Ren absently muttered and the room went silent.

The sudden change in atmosphere brought Ren out of his trance, and he hurriedly replaced his gentleman smile to face the torrents of questions he had accidently caused.

"Bo is a boy! Are you gay?" Hikaru was fast to snap.

He had just realised that Ren loved Kyouko, and was not going to be so forgiving of his slip. After all, Ren was effectively taking Kyouko from him. Even down to earth Kyouko would choose the perfect gentleman Tsuruga Ren over himself.

He had also seen Kyouko with Ren one too many times to be able to brush it off as the Sempai/Kohai relationship that Kouko claimed it was, and the cryptic banter between the two just before the show had led him to believe that the two actors had one too many inside jokes for comfort.

The Audience remained in hushed silence, waiting on tenterhooks for some kind of denial from Ren; a denial of all love, and the chance that they may still become his girlfriend.

Ren laughed freely, although inside he was twisted in knots. "No, no you misunderstood."

But he hadn't worked out an excuse yet, and made the mistake of pausing long enough for Hikaru to chip in again. "Then you must have some sort of furry fetish."

Hikaru was blind with jealousy, and normally any arguments on the show would be cut short by Bo's antics, but Kyouko was frozen. Her mind was spinning.

Kyouko had regained the ability to love, though she was in could now make the connections from Ren's words - as much as she really did not want to.

Ren knew she was Bo, and he had said he loved her, but that couldn't possibly be true. She searched her mind for a way out. Maybe it was brotherly love like the Heel siblings, or perhaps sempai love, but deep down she knew it was going to be difficult to convince herself, and she sank to the floor in despair.

The show was rapidly degrading and Yuusei rushed to find some comedy in the situation.

"Bo! Don't faint like a fangirl."

Fortunately for him, although he had hit a bit too close to the truth for those on the stage, the audience seemed to brighten at the idea, especially when Bo mimed being flustered and then embarrassed - or at least had seemed to.

At being directly spoken to, Kyouko had flapped around a little out of shame at her unprofessionalism, and hid her chicken head behind her wings. Realising that she was still on stage triggered an idea. Of course Tsuruga-san was not talking about her: he was acting. Ren was portraying his character from the new romantic film he was promoting. That made much more sense, she reassured herself.

Swinging side to side, and hugging her white board to show shyness, she wrote on it and showed everyone.

'Isn't Tsuruga-san a good actor?'
Shinichi caught on fast. "He is a good actor, don't we all agree? He can even make us believe he loves a stuffed bird!"

"I am sure your new film will be even more convincing, since it must be easier to show your love to a pretty woman like Haru-chan" Yuusei chipped in, mentioning the nickname of the lead actress in the film.

The show returned to usual, and no-one watching the show noticed that much had happened. Hikaru's unusual rude behaviour was just taken as a stunt by everyone. Everyone except Lory Takarada, that is.

The drive home, however was full of tense silence. Ren was shocked and embarrassed at his own slip, and Yashiro had been frightened into silence by his gloom. Kyouko had no intention of starting a conversation as she still had not come up with a reasonable excuse for her injuries, and she knew that if she spoke, even to apologise for unprofessionalism, then Ren would somehow turn it against her.

That night none of them slept. Yashiro was too infuriated at the near miss of a proper confession. Kyouko spent the whole night trying to organise her thoughts. She loved Ren … as a brother … and Ren … Ren kept giving her mixed messages. He had told her his secrets, which could suggest trust, or it could just be that he was doing the honourable thing after giving her such a fright. He often treated her like a princess, though he was always in character when he did, and he often showed a strong dislike towards her. Surely that was his true feeling. Dislike was the most believable reaction: Ren was just too gentlemanly to actively bully her for it like everyone else did.

She started crying into her pillow when she remembered the thing that she had almost forgotten: she was unworthy of love. No-one would love her. No-one could love her. She had known this all along, and when Sho had left, the knowledge had comforted her. If she was unlovable then no-one would love her and she would find it easier not to love others, so she would not get hurt again. At the time she had not even needed to convince herself, since she knew in her bones that if even her own mother could not like her, then no-one could.

Kouko could not remember when she had forgotten that no-one could love her. With Maria, and Moko-san and the Hizuri's all being so nice to her, she had started to believe in friendship and familial love. She was angry at herself for becoming so arrogant as to believe herself worthy. It made the truth much harder to swallow.

When the Okami-san came to comfort her, Kyouko shrank in fear from the kind touch and nearly fell backwards off the bed. The older woman tried to comfort her verbally, but it only seemed to upset the girl more, so she reluctantly returned to her husband's arms. Taisho knew his wife could not go on like this. They were not able to have children of their own, and Kyouko was the closest they had to that. If she did not let them into her heart soon, then he would have to do something about it, though what, he did not know.

Ren's night was just as lacking in sleep, but a little more productive in terms of emotional growth. He was kicking himself for his behaviour. Letting his emotions slip out on national TV was surprisingly not what his issue was. Sure, it was foolish, and the President would make his life hell for it, but tonight was supposed to have been about helping Kyouko. Ren knew from experience what a victim of bullying looked and acted like, and he had intended to use the drive home to work out why she was in trouble and to help her with it. Instead he had spent it moping.

Whether he himself deserved to be loved or not, Kyouko did not deserve to be ignored just because he had insecurity issues. He spent the night with a glass of whiskey in hand, trying to work out how he could have reacted differently. He could not even remember what Kyouko's reaction had been. She must have heard him, but he had been so wrapped up in his own self-hate that he had not considered her feelings or reaction. Kyouko deserved so much better, and he was determined not to let his own problems get in the way of helping her ever again. He knew he could not solve his own problems just by thinking of Kyouko, but he was pretty sure that he could put them aside for her.

At 6am he rang his parents, knowing that they would be on their lunch break. The whiskey gave him the courage he needed to tell them the truth about his feelings, but it also worried his parents.

"Kuon, I thought you weren't drinking anymore."

He looked guiltily at the empty bottle of whiskey which was the cause of his slurred speech.

"Sorry, Dad. But what should I do about Kyouko?"

They assured him that they would speak to her themselves, but that they had confidence that he already knew that to do.

"Oh, and son?" Kuu added as they were saying goodbye.

"Yes, dad?"

"You are not to drive until you are sober. I have told Boss to provide a company car and a suitable punishment."

Ren groaned at the thought of Lory Takarada having free reign over his punishment, and thought that perhaps whiskey caused more trouble than it was worth. His father was right about one thing, though: he was in no fit state to drive.