Author's note: Thank you old and new readers. Your support means the world to me. It really does. This is my outlet for when times are rough or when I need to see something different, something I enjoy. I am glad you guys are here with me.

Previously on "Pivotal Question"...

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

She should have called him. At all. It was too late now. The damage was done.

"Hi, welcome. How may I help you?"

"I am here to see Dr. Burke?"

"Yes, of course, come on in," the middle-aged receptionist said. She had dark, curly hair that fell down onto her shoulders. Two moon shaped clips pinned the hair out of her face so she would not have to blow it away when bending down to retrieve files or when she moved her head toward the door, just like she had done mere moments ago. Her smile was genuine, not in the slighted way judgmental or curious. Kate figured she was used to seeing a lot of people come and go in the premises. Some of them cops. Just like her. A cop. Kate sighed and approached the tastefully decorated desk.

"My name is Katherine Beckett," the brunette said and lifted her ID for the nurse to see. She didn't have her badge anymore and it felt weird not to carry it around on her belt. Or in her pocket. Or ... in general. One among many reasons to be in this room at this very moment. Re-gaining the ability to request the badge back. Her badge. And also her life. And maybe even ...

"Ah yes, welcome Mrs Beckett," the receptionist said, her green eyes full of warmth and hospitality. She nodded and reached for a green clipboard with a form attached to it. "Since you're here very early, take your time and fill this form out for me, will you? Just do it as best as you can and then we'll see if we can speed this up a little bit. Things are running smoothly today, maybe I can get you to the doctor a little earlier in time."

Kate felt relieved and anxious at the same time when the receptionist, her name tag read "Veronica", handed her the clipboard and gestured her toward the simple brown leather couch that was placed in an adjacent corner. With a deep sigh, Kate sank down onto the piece of furniture which gave in just a little bit. She was glad. She hated sitting on couches, slouched and molded into the material, the struggle being very real when attempting to get onto one's feet. She wanted to be ready all the time, she wanted ... no ... needed to be able to on her own two feet as soon as possible. Fast reactions were what saved her in the line of duty. Well, most of the time ...

"Stay with me, please? Stay with me, ok? Huh? Kate ... I love you. I love you, Kate."

She was going ... going ... going. Gone. Drowning.
The pain eased away as her mind slipped into the dark twisted uncertainty of unconsciousness. She didn't feel anything at all. No warmth, no pain, to fear, no fury, no sadness. Nothing. A hollowness captured her heart and soul as she let go of reality and slipped into what seemed to be a dream. She couldn't tell the difference anymore. Did she just ...? Did he just ...? Did that really happen. She couldn't tell. It didn't matter now. She was free. She was gone.

Was she?

The next thing that registered with her consciousness was the soft and constant beeping, right next to her right ear.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Then she fell back into nothingness. When she forced herself to focus on the noise the next time she couldn't tell if mere hours or days had gone by, fully unnoticed to her. The beeping noise was still there, steady as her heart. Her heart? Wait, should it be beating, shouldn't it stay still and be dead, just like ... her? She was dead, wasn't she?

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The next thing she heard were quiet whispers. Hushed voices of nurses and doctors, monotone and standard commands, people checking on her vital signs, her reflexes. Someone scratching a pen on paper, making notes on her condition. The hurried affirmations that she indeed was doing better, that she just needed time to come around on her own. In her own time, in due time, it wouldn't be long. Not long? Really?

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Can I see her? Just for a minute, I am begging you," was the next thing Kate's mind registered when she came around for a third time. Her eyelids fluttered, she fought a battle against her own body. She needed to be sure ...

"Just for a minute, please, I won't be in there for longer, I just need to ... I got to ..." a muffled male plea is what Kate heard and she fought to open her eyes to verify ... is that really him ... him?

"Thank you," was the next thing the male voice said and Kate can her a chair being moved closed to her bedside. A bed that has not become her deathbed it seems. Narrow escape, very narrow. If only she was able to wake up. Her eyelids fluttered rapidly again.

"There you go, hey Kate," the person next to her said, his breath tickling her IVd arm. She got to exhausted and the flutter of eyelids ceased. A small, soft caress on her arm followed the tingle of breath, slowly and deliberately touching her. A small electric current seemed to be running through her entire body and she felt ... alive ... when in reality she wasn't. She wasn't even breathing on her own. She tried to focus and realized that she was relying on a tube in her throat ... for air. For breathing. For being alive.

She gathered all of her strength and slowly moved her fingers. A gesture not unnoticed by the person next to her, his breathing bitched and he called, "Nurse Winters, nurse Winters, you gotta come see this!" The voice got more excited the more often Kate repeated the motion so she tried to stay focussed on listening to the ecstatic cries of the man next to her bed.

Who was he?

"Nurse Winters, see? She is moving her hand!"

"I see," said the experienced nurse upon taking in the sight in front of her. It was about time that detective came back around. She had fought long enough, nurse Winters found. She started assessing the situation and then paged the responsible doctors on the day shift.

"Don't worry, Mr. Castle, it's looking very promising," she assured the visitor even as the movement ceased and Kate Beckett slipped back into the joys of unconsciousness. Castle? Here? With her? Castle?

What?

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Mrs Beckett?"

"Uh?" Kate slipped out of her daydream and back into reality. What had just happened? She was supposed to relive these moments together with her psychiatrist, not alone while waiting in his waiting room. Her hands were shaking as she handed the clipboard and pen back to Veronica, the receptionist. The dark-haired woman assessed the information quickly and then promised to be back as soon as possible, confirming that her earlier claim indeed had promise. "The last patient has left early so Dr. Burke might as well start the appointment earlier," Veronica said, smugly. Kate could tell that she was proud to see this place running ever so smoothly.

"Thank you," Kate said and grinned in response. It looked like both women liked to be in charge of everything around them. Interesting ...

"Oh, and Veronica, it's 'Ms Beckett'", Kate added.

"Oh, really?" the receptionist said, eyes widening in surprise, "I thought when someone looked like you do, there must at least be one husband. Or a whole garrison of good-looking charming men lining up to be a chosen candidate. That's rather surprising ..."

"Not to me," Kate sighed and looked onto her brown suede heels. Time to change the subject. Within seconds Veronica had gone into the office and Kate was left alone with her thoughts, yet again. She didn't know what to expect. At all. She only knew she had to do it. For herself. For him. For her job. For the city. For them. She needed this, more than she'd ever admit to anyone.

"Ms Beckett?"
It looked like this anyone had just called her name.

TBC