Talk Show with Bartimaeus
Chapter 4: SUGAR HIGH!
Disclaimers: blah blah blah…blah…blah blah…(its my new language!) blah…blah blah blah…blah…
Voice from the heavens: JUST-
Me: OK! I GET IT! I don't own the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud…or anything else…there ya go!
Voice from the heavens: FAIR ENOUGH…
WARNING! This chapter is RANDOM! Do not read if randomness affects you in a negative way! You may have thought the other chapters were random…but they're no where CLOSE to this one!
"ANNNNNND WE'RE BACK!" screamed Bartimaeus just a little too loudly. "Man this is good coffee!" He was currently on his fifth mug.
Apparently coffee has the same effects as alcohol.
The guests couldn't keep still: They were on top of the chairs, then they were under them, then Nat was giving Barty a piggy back ride…
It was mass chaos!…even more than when the demonic muffins took over…or when the squirrels had a revolution against the chipmunk-
(gets evil glare from the "voice from the heavens" and shuts up…but I don't know how a voice has eyes…)
Here's how the scene played out…
Kitty was doing laps around the stage. After five, she stopped and said "TOUCH DOWN!" Then picked up a chair and threw it down like a football.
As I said earlier, Nathaniel was giving Bartimaeus a piggy back ride. "I always thought Nat was too weak for that" you might think. Well you thought right. And Barty discovered this the hard way when Natty Boy suddenly toppled off the stage into the audience. They all stood up and gave the djinni and the boy the joy of crowd surfing.
Rupert Devereaux and Sholto Pinn were singing the "Brave sir Robin" song from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (I don't own that either) loudly (and badly).
Jane Farrar (takes place after Nat is back on stage again) was lovingly giving Nathaniel a back rub (she was just that drunk…on sugar of course!). Well…she WAS!
Until Kitty noticed…
She jumped on Jane from behind knocking Nat on to the ground. They got into a HUGE catfight! (me-ow! jk!)
Nathaniel was trying to break it up without actually going anywhere near them. He was about ten feet away when he said, "Ladies, ladies…don't fight! There's enough of me to go around!" Then he was on the ground again (wow...AGAIN?) due to Bartimaeus randomly tackling him.
Lets see…who else…Ah yes!
The hobo was taking this "party" to his advantage. To do what you might ask. Well isn't it obvious?
Voice from the heavens: NOT TO THESE IDIOTS!
Me: Hey! You can't call my readers/REVIEWERS idiots!
Voice from the heavens: YES I CAN! NOW EXPLAIN THE SITUATION AT HAND!
Me: fine...
The hobo name Bob was enjoying the free food again. Hey! They made some pretty good cookies!
OH! And how could I forget...
Jessica Whitwell was just joining in on Devereaux and Pinn's little sing-a-long. Except she was singing an octave ABOVE the men. You can imagine how GREAT that sounded!
Buzzer!
"Time-OW-for com-get off me!- commercials! We'll be back-JOHN YOU IDIOT!-after the break! OH! THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!"
HEHE! Don't ya luv it! Yeah...didnt ya really like the part with jane and kitty? And then barty fighting Nathaniel...that was great...i was actually laughing really hard as I wrote that! REVIEW! Blah blah...with the squirrels...