Blisters and Coffee Chapter 4: And I can’t see through the dust, a saving private ryan fanfic

Summary: Eden Farley wanted to prove to the world that she could be like every other man that walked the earth. But no one had ever given her the chance. Until her brother gets killed and no one's left to take his place in family tradition. Except for her. The only problem is convincing her mother that she's not the little girl her mother always wanted her to be.

Kudos to: Natuk for being my one and only reviewer. Thanks again for saving me from digging a hole to live in.

Dedication:For David, a United States Airmen, off to serve his country in South Korea. You will always be my hero.

Chapter Three

Crash and Burn

June, 1943

Meg Farley gave a slight groan as the door bell rang. A glance at the clock on her bedside table showed three eighteen am. As she slipped into her ragged slippers, she prayed that West hadn't been arrested at a party. He would have no chances of going anywhere with his life with something like that on his record. Her pace quickened as the person at the door rang the bell again. As she passed by her daughter's room, she saw Eden stumbling out of bed blindly, and nearly laughed out loud as she watched as Eden stubbed her toe on the dresser and fell back into bed.

"Son of a-" Eden started but then seemed to notice her mother standing in the doorway and chose less colorful wording, "cockatoo?"

A cheesy grin came over Eden's face as she tried to convince her mother silently, but Meg just ignored her and walked on to the front door. She heard Eden follow behind her, mumbling about stupid older brothers. Apparently, Meg was not the only one who thought that Weston had gotten into some sort of trouble. She shot her daughter a look that quickly silenced her and went to open the door. Standing on the other side were two police men, just as both Meg and Eden had suspected, who else would come calling at three in the morning? A patrol car was parked in the drive way, the flashing lights still on, illuminating the front porch and lawn in red, white, and blue.

Meg felt her stomach drop as she soon found that West was not standing between the two cops like she had expected, and both had pained expressions on their faces. Something was wrong. Call it motherly instinct, but Meg knew at that moment that something was horribly wrong. Meg reached towards Eden and she instantly grabbed her hand tightly and came to stand next to her mother in the doorway.

"Where's West?" Eden's voice asked, fear evident on her face. Her eyes held tears in them, as if she too knew what had happened and was only waiting for the officers to confirm it. Meg gave Eden's hand a tight squeeze and turned her attention back to the uneasy officers.

The two officers looked at each other before turning back to the two waiting Farley women. The taller of the two took a deep breath before saying anything. "I'm sorry, but there's been an accident."

Eden's heart stopped as her replayed what the officer had said over and over in her head. An accident. Questions raced through her head, million a minute. What kind of accident? Was anyone hurt? Where was West? Had he been taken to the hospital? Was he downtown because he drove drunk? Had Pete been hurt? What the hell was going on?

The worst possible scenarios flew through her mind, and Eden desperately tried to block them out with happy thoughts. The officer had simply said an 'accident'. That left room for nearly anything from a someone getting a paper cut to full blown head on collisions. It wasn't specific, which meant that everything could be perfectly fine and that she was over reacting. But when Eden looked up at the officers, after trying to calm herself, she knew from the looks on their faces that things were far from fine.

Eden walked numbly away from her crying mother and the two officers that were trying to comfort her. Her bare feet slapped against the cold wood floor as she made her way down the hall and stopped in front of a door. A light leaked through the half open door and Eden could see the corner of a bed and a desk in one corner. There was a burgundy carpet near the closet, and a Oregon Ducks tin trash can beside the desk. Posters of different baseball players were hung crookedly on the faded Mint Green walls. She remembered all this before Eden pushed the door fully open, and a wave of sadness hit her.

His books were still on the desk. All his clothes were packed away into the closet. A pair of shoes were left shoved underneath the bed, one just poking its head out from under the skirt. His football jersey was hung proudly on the wall, all the trophies he'd won in little league were just below them. Everything was just as he had left them that afternoon before they left to the Willard's. His graduation gown was laid out on the bed neatly, and Eden desperately wished that Weston would somehow magically appear and fill the gown. She'd give anything to have him back.

Slowly, Eden crossed across the empty room and crawled onto her brother's bed. Tears ran down her cheeks as she hugged the black gown to her. She heard the officers leave and drive away and her mother start to make phone calls, but Eden didn't care. She just wanted lay on her now dead brother's bed and cry. So she did.

Six year old Weston watched closely as his younger sister attempted to copy his sloppily written 'E' onto her own sheet of paper. Eden had come to him earlier that morning, begging for him to teach her how to spell her name. She was starting kindergarten the next week, and refused to enter the school building unable to write her name. So, Weston had promised that once he finished his chores he would teach her how. He, being about to enter first grade, had already learned his ABC's and how to write them already, granted not very well. But to Eden, he was a God for being able to do as much as count to thirty.

Her brow was furrowed as she looked between her paper and her brothers before handing him the sheet. A smile came over West's face as he saw that although Eden had managed to make it fairly straight, the 'E' was facing the wrong way. Patiently, he sat back down beside Eden and gently took the colored pencil from her.

"You did good, Eddie," he said with praise, as he placed dots on the page, "But you went the wrong way." West bit his lip and expected his work and showed it to a confused Eden. "Just connect the dots," he explained, pointing to the dots, that when connected, formed a correct 'E'.

Eden nodded and quickly connected the dots with her light blue coloring pencil. A smile burst out on her young face as she looked between her new 'E' and the one West had started out with. "I got it!" she yelled happily, jumping up from the ground she started to dance around the small living room. West laughed at his sister's happiness over a simple letter, and set to work writing the rest of her name in dots.

Panting slightly, Eden flopped down beside West and watched in fascination as he finished off the last dotted letter and pasted the paper to her. A few moments later she stared proudly at her crookedly written name. She looked up at Weston, love showing clearly in her honey eyes. "Thanks, Westy."

West simply shrugged and gave her a one armed hug. "No prob little sis."

Hours later, Eden awoke to the sound of the front door slamming shut and voices coming from the kitchen. With a groan she pulled herself up from the bed and gently set Weston's gown back onto the mattress. She rubbed her eyes that stung from the dryness that occurred whenever someone cried too hard for too long. As she passed by the clock in the hall Eden realized that she had slept for over twelve hours and it was almost four in the afternoon.

She walked slowly down the hall and ran a hand through her tangled hair absentmindedly. As she neared the kitchen, Eden was able to make out one of the voices as her mothers. Though not absolutely sure, she thought some of the others sounded like Pete and his mom. More voices could be heard, but Eden was unsure as to who else was sitting in her kitchen. It wouldn't surprise her if the entire female population of her small town hadn't decided to come and comfort her family.

Rounding the corner, Eden saw that she had been nearly correct in saying the whole town would show up. Pastor Dave was in one corner of the kitchen, conversing with an older lady Eden soon saw was Ms. Colter, one of Eden's neighbors. Pete Molt was sitting at the kitchen table across from her mother, his own mother standing a little ways away, but kept looking at the pair apprehensively every very moments. It was like Mrs. Molt wanted to comfort Eden's mother, but knew that her son and his best friends mother were grieving together.

Nestled into another corner of the small kitchen, Eden saw a smaller group of Westley's friends. All of them had looks of anguish splashed across their faces. Eden noticed Lorraine sitting in a chair beside the group, a blank look haunted her face. Her blue eyes were blood shot and puffy. Her normally perfectly curled red hair lay limply on her shoulders. Over all, Lorraine looked exactly how Eden felt.

Eden wanted to go over and comfort the older girl, but was afraid that she would break down crying again. Instead she went in the opposite direction, towards the cooler. She felt everyone's eyes on her back as she silently opened the door and grabbed a Coke from the rack. She heard the screech of a seat being moved across the kitchen floor and felt a light hand on her shoulder.

With her eyes glued to the floor, Eden slowly turned around and instantly recognized the beaten brown loafers as those that Pete owned. She didn't say anything as he pulled her into a hug and slowly she felt herself start to break again. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Eden hugged Peter to her tighter, and he soothingly rubbed her back. Sounds of footsteps neared them and Eden pulled away from Peter to see Lorraine standing beside them. Quickly, Eden wrapped her arms around the girl's neck and hugged her fiercely. She felt Lorraine start to cry again as she did and her tears wet the back of her shirt, but Eden didn't care as she clung to the older girl and continued to cry.

Eden stood silently next to her mother as the priest crossed himself and turned to the ground where West's body was going to buried. He solemnly crossed the plot and Eden realized that as he did, it was like a final seal to what had happened. The priest had unknowingly just took away all hope that Eden had had left and thrown it into the coffin with her brother. There was no way that Eden could escape the truth any longer as she watched the priest nod to the man beside West's coffin. West's coffin. Tears sprung back to her eyes as it hit her again.

Never again would she see her brother alive. He would never play football again. Never go on another date with the girlfriend he left behind. He would never have his nineteenth birthday, or watch his children grow up. He would never have children, or have the chance get married. Never again would he see another sunset, or hear the rain fall. West was gone. He was dead. All because of a stupid accident that wasn't even anyone's fault. Except for Weston, which made his death all the more painful. Knowing that he could have saved himself, but all because of one simple mistake, he'd died instead.

Pete had explained it all to her later that night when she had cried with Lorraine. The party they had gone to had turned out to be boring, filled with girls who only wanted one thing, and guys who had too much to drink in celebration. So, West had opted to drive home. It had been dark by then, and he didn't even have a chance of seeing the deer jump in front of his car before it was too late. He'd swerved off the road and run straight into a light pole. It wouldn't have been that much of a big deal, just bruises and being shaken up, if only West had been wearing his seatbelt. The second Eden had heard the story, she made a promise to always wear her seatbelt.

It had killed her mother to know that it wasn't anyone's fault but his own that Weston was dead. His death would have been easier to deal with if they had had someone to blame. No one could bring themselves to blame Weston, seeing as his mistake had cost him his life. It was no one's fault but his own. Eden had tried every way to find someone else to blame. Pete, for not going with him. Lorraine, for allowing him to leave early. Herself, for letting him go without her in the first place. She even blamed the stupid bimbo who had thrown the party in the first place. Without her, none of it would have happened to begin with. But, deep down Eddie knew there was no one to blame but the one who had felt the full blow of his actions.

As Eden watched her brother's coffin disappear into the ground and people started to walk back to their cars, she cursed the deer that had thought jumping in front of a moving car would be fun.

Grrr. This chapter was hard for me to write, seeing as I've never been in a position like Eden's in before. Thankfully. The flashback though, I did copy off of one of my own childhood memories with my brother.

Hope everyone liked it all the same. However, I know that I am not self centered enough to look at my own writings almost 40 times. Honestly, I do have standards. I plan on taking this to the end, but still, words of encouragement are always welcomed. So please review. :-) I probably won't update again until sometime next week. I'm a geek, so I have band camp this weekend. Whoot.

Mkay, off to other adventures.