Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 4: Dear Sister

Merlin couldn't tell if Morgana had understood her words, but he certainly had. Merlin had been able to do the math. Morgause had been four years old when Morgana was born. On the eve of her ninth year, her mother had passed away, just around the time that Morgana's mother had passed away. It was too similar to be a coincidence. A feeling of unease spread through Merlin. He could not figure out why Morgause was here, but he was afraid to find out the true reason. Merlin braced himself for the words he knew were coming, even as he desperately wished that he was wrong.

"The man my mother fell in love with was Gorlois Le Fey," Morgause said slowly. Morgause waited a moment for her words to sink in. "Hello sister."

Merlin watched as the color drained from Morgana's face. Morgana closed her eyes, trying to understand what she was feeling. Trying to untangle the twisted web of emotions coursing through her. She didn't know if Morgause spoke the truth, but instinct told her she had.

Merlin wanted nothing more than to go to her and tell her that everything would be okay. He wanted to hold her until she believed him when he told her that. He wanted to stay with her until she felt safe and sure of herself. But he couldn't. Because Morgause was here and no one could know that Merlin was secretly meeting with Morgana in the very dead of the night. Merlin cursed their unfortunate circumstances.

"You're my half-sister," Morgana said slowly, testing the words out. It made so much sense. It explained the strange connection she felt with Morgause. Morgana kept her voice neutral. She was struggling to control her emotions. Her feelings were hard-wired to her magic and she didn't know what would happen if she didn't calm down. She didn't have as much difficulty with it anymore, but on the occasions when her composure lapses and she is overcome by anger or fear, something always ends up broken… or on fire.

Morgana was trying a technique Merlin had taught her. He told her to recite something over and over again in her head. Never a spell because then she might accidentally do magic, but something that would help calm her down. Thinking of Merlin, Morgana's eyes flickered over to where she knew Merlin was hiding.

Morgana wanted nothing more than to talk to him. Merlin would know what to say to make this better. He always knew how to make everything better. Sometimes, he knew how to make things better before she even knew that they were wrong. She would just have to wait until Morgause left, then he would make it better, he would make everything okay. Mentally reciting his name over and over and over again, like a mantra, Morgana turned back to Morgause reluctantly.

"Why are you telling me this?" Morgana asked her. She could help the accusatory tone in her voice. Why would Morgause come to her room in the dead of the night to relay news like this? Surely this was the type of information that one didn't just blurt out, especially not in the dead of the night.

"You are the only family I have left," Morgause said softly. "And I am the only family you have left. I wanted to meet you. I've heard that you look like our mother as well. I can't say I disagree. I see the resemblance between us."

Merlin eyed Morgause skeptically now. There was absolutely no resemblance between Morgana and Morgause. Morgause had blonde hair that looked a bit like straw. Her cheekbones stood out, making her face look angular. Morgana had black hair and a soft face that made her look innocent and approachable. They were complete opposites. Anyone with eyes could see that. Merlin wasn't sure he would be able to find two women that looked more different.

"Why did you leave?" Morgana asked her quietly. "Why have I never heard of you?"

"It wasn't safe for me anymore," Morgause explained. "My father had been executed for studying magic. I think my mother feared that if I grew up here, constantly hearing about how my father was murdered for his magic that I would want to study magic. She wanted to distance me from that. It's ironic, because it had the opposite effect. I grew up in a druid camp, surrounded by magic. Eventually I studied it, just as my father had."

"You study magic?" Morgana asked. Her eyes widened with hope. It was rare that she got to meet someone that studied magic, someone that knew how she felt. For a long time, only Merlin understood her. Now she had a sister. A sister that knew magic. For a moment, Morgana forgot all of her fears and doubts.

Morgause nodded. "That is another reason why I am here," she said slowly. "I have heard that you suffer from nightmares. No one could tell me if you had magic, but I figured if you were having visions you might need some help. I wanted to see if I could be of assistance."

Morgana stared for a moment. How could Morgause have known about her nightmares? They weren't kept secret, not exactly. But they weren't exactly common knowledge. "My nightmares have not plagued me in a very long time," Morgana told her. They hadn't bothered her since Merlin started helping her with magic. She knew part of it was the spell that resided in her necklace, but part of it was also the comforting presence Merlin had on her. She felt safe when she was with him.

Morgause studied Morgana for a long moment. "I know this must be frightening for you. I just want you to know that you could trust me," Morgause told her. Morgause hesitated as if she were uncertain with what would happen next. "I want to make an offer to you. I would like to offer you the chance to be yourself. You could leave with me and I could teach you magic. You could become the powerful priestess you are destined to be." Morgause looked at Morgana, taking in how drained she looked. This had been a lot for her to take in all at once. "You don't have to choose right now. Meet me in two night's time outside the gates with your answer. I hope you will accept my offer." Morgause's voice dropped to a whisper. "We could be a family."

With that Morgause left. Morgana stood there until the door closed, a thousand thoughts swirled through her head.

The second the door closed, Merlin leapt out of his hiding spot and was at Morgana's side. She embraced him, burying her head in his shoulder. After such a long time of trying to appear strong, it felt nice to feel protected.

Merlin didn't try to talk to her about Morgause's offer. He knew she wasn't ready for that. Instead he just held her. He held her and hoped that she wouldn't choose Morgause. He hoped she would choose him.