Stella

"Come on, Stella, we're here." Mac's voice woke me up from my nap. "Whoa, what time is it?" I asked, seeing him getting the luggage out of the vehicle. "It seems like I've been sleeping for hours."

"It took forty-five minutes before we could get outta there," he answered. "At least we didn't miss our flight."

"Yeah… oh my God I would've felt so bad. It was my fault that we were stuck in all that traffic. I'm still sorry."

"Look, I decided to go get you a coffee," he said, looking up at me from outside his truck. "You comin' now?"

"Yeah, yeah." I jumped out of the truck and grabbed my luggage. I followed Mac through the airport and a few minutes later, we got into our airplane. "Okay so where are we sitting?" I asked, looking around.

"Here," Mac said, showing me a place on the left, near the windows. "I hope you're not scared of flying."

"Ah, just a little bit," I admitted. "I get a bit dizzy and sick but most of the time, I'm capable of holding everything back." I smirked and sat down on the seat closer to the window. Mac chuckled and placed our luggage on the overhead shelf. Then he sat down next to me and waited for the plane to take off.

"What about you?" I suddenly asked. "Do you get sick when you fly?"

He shook his head 'no'. "No. I don't get sick at all, actually."

"Of course," I said, leaning back on my seat. "Mac Taylor can take everything. You ain't scared of nothin' are ya?"

He shrugged. "I can't think of anything. Well maybe three things at the moment; losing Claire again, losing my job or losing you."

I smiled at his response and took his hand into mine. "You don't have to worry about the last thing. You won't lose me, Mac. You seriously think you could get rid of me that easily?"

We both laughed and that's when the plane took off. "There you go," I said, holding on my seat. "Protect yourself in case I throw up on ya."

"Wow, that's great," he said. "Can I do something to comfort you?"

I smiled and only thought of one thing. But of course, that, I couldn't tell him. "Maybe you could actually."

He looked into my eyes and knew I wouldn't specify my answer. I think he somehow knew what I meant. Anyway, we both knew something like this wouldn't happen now. The love he had for his wife was stronger than anything else. And now that she was back in the picture, I certainly couldn't make any move—that would be totally immoral. I have to admit I had always been drawn towards Mac. On many, many nights I had dreamt about him, thinking maybe one day, it would happen. I had had impure thoughts, yes, and a few erotic dreams, I couldn't deny that. But to me, Mac remained a married man and I just couldn't get in a relationship with him even if I wanted to more than anything else in the whole wide world. It had actually been hard to keep my hands off him when we were in Greece. Such a beautiful, romantic country… it would've been perfect. We were just the two of us, nothing and no one to disturb us. Some nights, I could almost feel him with me, feel his breath against my cheeks, his hands caressing my body. The worst thing in that was that I knew damn well that it was a simple illusion, that something like that couldn't possibly happen. How many nights I had dreamt of making passionate love to him, of enjoying every inch of him... it would be so great. How many times I had stopped myself from entering the men's locker room while he was there. How many times I had imagined him under his clothes, wondering if he was as amazing as I thought he was. Just thinking about it made me want to jump on him. My heart started to race in my chest, the sweat started to run down my back as those sexual thoughts crossed my mind once again. Looking at him would only worsen the situation so I couldn't turn back. Suddenly, I felt his hand on my thigh—my breath got stuck in my throat, my pupils expanded in the middle of my green eyes. God this man knew how to arouse me...

"Do you fell better?" he suddenly asked me.

"Y-yeah," I breathed, still looking out the window. It took me everything not to drag him to the nearest bathroom and fulfilling my longing needs. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something else. I couldn't lose control here, now, this was way too important for him. I couldn't ruin something that beautiful because I was too self-centered. I satisfied myself with thoughts and finally gained back my sanity.

"You okay?" Mac finally asked me. "The biggest part passed."

I looked at him and tried to smile. "Yeah, I know. Thanks." The urge had passed but the desire was still there, deep inside of me. Mac was an irresistible man and it seems like I just couldn't stop thinking about him.

He was such a great person... God, sometimes I wished I would've acted earlier! Maybe we could be together now... But then again, maybe our relationship would be broken and that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me! Losing Mac would be losing my own self. I just couldn't live without him. He was too important.

I wonder if we would've been together, how he would've reacted to the reappearance of his wife.

I looked back at him and enjoyed my view for a few seconds, until he realized I was staring at him.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked with a curve on the side of his mouth. "Why're ya starin' at me?"

I shrugged. "I think I have the right to admire a good-looking man. Especially when he's sitting right next to me."

He blushed and smirked, not knowing what to respond. I started to laugh. "Hey, why do you feel so embarrassed? I tried to give you a compliment, accept it and be proud of yourself!"

"Well," he babbled. "Thanks."

"No problem! Claire will be glad to see you haven't changed a bit. You're still as hot as you were at those crazy Christmas parties at your house."

He chuckled, remembering the good memories. "Yeah, those parties were great. You and Claire were so alike."

I grinned and looked down at my nails. "Yeah, we were great friends too. She was an amazing woman."

"Yeah," he replied. "And I hope she hasn't changed either."

"Well it's possible that she's changed a little bit but don't be afraid. After all those years, things change. You have changed, interiorly. Not a lot, just a little bit. But I think that what you liked in her is still there. I'm sure."

"I just want her to be the Claire she's always been to me. I want her to still love me."

I bit my bottom lip and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "You'll see she'll still remember you and love you. If she doesn't remember you, well, she'll just fall in love all over again, simple as that. I don't know one woman who wouldn't fall in love with you, Mac Taylor. You're the greatest man I know."

"Does that mean you loved me some time in your life?" he asked with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

I could honestly say he had shut me up; what was I supposed to reply to that? "Uh, well... I don't know."

"You don't need to be shy with me, Stel. I can say I loved you."

'Loved' me? Did that mean that now, he didn't love me anymore? "What do you mean? I love you Mac, I really do. You're a great friend and everything—not to mention that you're very attractive. Yes, you're someone great. I can honestly say I don't know what I would do without you. You're my best friend, my confident."

"Did you ever love me more than a friend, I mean?" Damn! The hard question again!

"Well... I don't know! You're so complicated!"

"No, I'm not. You're the one making it complicated."

"Mac!" I shouted. "What the hell do you mean? Yes, I love you, Mac, I fuckin' love you!"

That's when I noticed everyone's gaze fixed on me and realized what I had just said. God I was stupid!

He started to laugh and looked back at me. "I think you've made your point. Now everyone in here's gonna think you've made the big declaration."

I frowned and gave him a tap on his arm. "Oh, shut up! If your plan was to embarrass me, well, I can say you've done one damn good job."

"Yes, I think I did."

"What was your point anyway in all this?"

"I just wanted to know. You told me you didn't know any woman who wouldn't fall in love with me. That means you already have."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Mac... maybe I did, the first time I saw you but after that, I learned to know you and you became my best friend, so did your wife, and it just became friendship I guess."

"So you had a crush on me?" he asked with a small curve on the side of his mouth.

"Well, yeah, I guess," I babbled. "Isn't it like this for everyone? You meet someone new, you think he's the best, then you realize you both have your own lives and that really, there isn't truly anything going on between you and that person. What about you? You said you've loved me."

"Well yeah," he replied, uneasy. "I guess you just reminded me of Claire and..."

"And what?"

"Well I'm not telling you I would've cheated on my wife or anything, it was just that kind of attraction you know? That silly attraction you have for someone who resembles someone you already love."

"Yeah, I guess." It took me a few minutes to realize he had actually admitted he had once loved me. That was great, right? "How long did that last?" I couldn't help but to ask.

He shrugged. "A few months, I guess. Maybe a year, I don't know. What about you?"

I made the same gesture. "I guess I can say quite a long time. Did Claire ever notice anything?"

"Well she knew we were great friends and we were very alike but I don't think she actually noticed something to be worried about. She knew I was faithful and I would not have cheated on her. And she trusted you too."

I smiled. "Good. I want people to have trust in me."

"Well she did. She even told me..." He stopped promptly, leaving his words unsaid.

"What did she tell you?" I asked with a frown on my face.

"Oh, nothing," he said with a sigh. "It's not important."

I didn't bother him, I just forgot about it. If he didn't want to tell me, it was his choice. Maybe it was better that way. "So let's change the subject!" I finally said. "This conversation has been a little awkward, I have to admit."

"It's nothing," he said. "We're friends, what can it do to tell each other those kinda things?"

"It can break it," I quickly replied.

"How's that?" he asked.

"One feeling a certain way and the other, not feeling the same way at all. One finds the courage to tell the truth than the other deserts her and she's left alone for the rest of her life, losing both a fantasy and a good friend."

"You're speaking as if it has already happened to you," he commented.

"It hasn't," I replied.

"You were talking of the one rejected as a woman," he said. "Couldn't it be the whole way around?"

"Yes, of course," I quickly answered. "I was just saying... it could be like this on one side or the other. In the end, both persons are broken. Don't you think?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Anyway, don't be afraid of sharing anything with me, Stella. I'll never reject you."

I smiled. "Thanks. I know you're a good friend and I really appreciate that."

"Now, have you ever thought of me in a sexual way?"

My eyes widened and I blushed. "What?" I almost yelled.

He started to laugh at my reaction. "Are you fuckin' crazy, Mac Taylor? You dare asking me this? This is totally crazy and I'm not answering this one."

"What, you've got something to hide?" he asked with a smirk.

"No!" I quickly replied. "It's just a dumb question and I refuse to answer it. God, you're not like this usually, what's wrong with you? Is the fact of seeing your wife again makes you that way?"

He chuckled. "I guess it's just the stress. And your reactions are pretty priceless too..."

"Yeah, yeah, must be... have you ever thought of me in a sexual way... you are sick, Mac!"

"Hey, it's a simple question like any other."

"Yeah, really simple..." I said with an eye roll. "How about you? Have you ever thought of me in a sexual way?"

He frowned. "Yeah, actually."

My jaw dropped to the floor and then I realized he was kidding me. "Oh Mac! You are disturbed, really disturbed. We are friends, we aren't supposed to talk about things like this, it is just sick."

"What?" he said, looking back at me. "There isn't anything wrong with that."

"Yes, when you're married especially. Thinking of fucking me when you have a wife is pretty disturbing."

"Oh, Stel, get over it!" he said. "I was just joking."

"Okay, okay. I mean, I can think about things like that but you can't. You've already got somebody in your life."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You're one special case, Stella Bonasera. It's true though that I've noticed you checking my ass on many occasions when you thought I wasn't aware."

"Oh Mac Taylor! I have never checked out your ass, ever!"

"Liar," he said, playing with the watch around his left wrist.

"Where have you taken this dirty idea?" I asked him.

"Hey, you were the one staring, I just noticed."

"Yeah right and you think I wasn't aware either when you were looking down my cleavage almost every day?"

"That is not true," he denied.

"Yeah, yeah, when it comes to you, it's not true, of course. Mac Taylor, the perfect human being."

"Of course," he said. "I wouldn't do something like that. I'm decent."

"That is pure bullshit and you know it."

"Okay, I might've caught a few glimpses, and?" he finally admitted. "It's not my fault if you're wearing revealing tops."

"Oh because it's my fault again now? You're unbelievable, Mac!"

"You're probably wearing them just so I can notice you more."

"Mac!"

"That and your tight pants that show greatly your pleasant figure..."

"Mac! Stop it! You're starting to scare me! Are you turning into some kind of pervert of somethin'?"

He laughed again. "God, it's so easy to make you uncomfortable..."

"From now on, I'll wear sweaters and track pants so I wouldn't be blamed for any sort of self-selling."

"Self-selling?" he repeated with a frown. "That's a good one."

"You know it's the most bizarre, odd, scary and awkward sex-talk I've ever had..."

He chuckled. "It's actually the funniest I've had..."

"Yeah," I replied with a grin. "Me too. It just feels weird talking about sex with you. We've never had that kind of talk before."

"Hey, the flight's gonna be long so we better keep ourselves entertained."

"Yeah, yeah, great excuse, oversexed beast..."

"So uh, tell me, Stella... if you had one last person on Earth you could get lucky with, who would it be?"

I frowned and sighed. "Stupid question, not answering." Of course, I couldn't give him my answer...

"Oh come on, Stella, don't be shy with me."

"I am not shy, I'm just not answering questions like this. It's useless..."

"Don't try to tell me you have nobody in mind."

"Actually, I don't," I said, folding my arms across my chest. "Not interested in anyone at the moment." Anyone except for him... "Okay, it's my turn to ask the sick question; craziest place you've ever done it?"

He took a moment to think and came up with an answer. "That would have to be in a photo booth."

I started to laugh. "You? Mac Taylor? Having sex in a photo booth? You have to be kidding me!"

"No, actually, I'm not. It was on a vacation Claire and I had taken... we had spent two weeks in Vegas. Of course, all the alcohol hadn't helped... It was spontaneous but pretty cool actually."

I laughed. "So how 'bout you?" he asked. "I answered, now it's your turn."

"Oh, my sex life hasn't been really exciting. The good old bed would have to be to answer."

He smirked. "Seriously?"

I nodded. "No crazy attempts. Not like you... But I've got to admit the photo booth thing is pretty hot."

"Yes, it was indeed."