Voice

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.

Reid sat and looked at the phone in his trembling hand. The effort it had taken to make the call made his head feel like it was going to split open. He slowly put the phone back to his ear.

"Gideon are you there?"

"Reid can you tell me where you are? I can come to you."

"I don't - I don't know. I am on a train."

"Where are you going?"

"Gideon. Elle knew."

"Elle knows where you are going?"

"No, I don't suppose she knows that."

"Spencer, I don't understand."

"No you don't. Elle knew. Floyd knows. He is there n n n now. I can't – can't get rid of him." His voice was getting quieter and quieter. "I have to go. He's back."

And Reid cut off the line.

………….

Hotch looked over at Gideon. "We are getting no where. We can't spend all our resources making sure Reid is alright. We have Flanders in custody. It's time to move on. I am not going to stand here and tell you I don't care because you all know I do. I just feel Reid needs to sort this himself. We cannot afford to let this distract us from our work." Hotch turned to look at JJ. "You have case for us?"

They all stood and looked at Hotch for a second before clicking back into action. "Yes sir, but we are still going to look for him?"

"JJ can we go over this new case please. We will talk about what to do with Reid at a more appropriate time. We can safely assume he is not part of the team at the moment. Leave it there." Hotch's face was not showing what he was feeling. His face looked sad and tired. Haley was coming home again on the promise that Hotch had got rid of Reid. She liked him but if he was going to start acting up she didn't want Jack there but Hotch missed Spencer's company. Even if it was odd and even if it did feel a bit dangerous. He missed Reid.

…………

"Hotch" Gideon said. "I need to make a call. I will be back soon." And he got up and left the meeting to return to his own office.

He flipped through the address book he took from the drawer and found the phone number he was looking for. He punched the number in and waited.

"Hello?" Said a familiar voice.

"Elle, its Gideon. I need your help."

"Gideon, I am really busy, sorry. I can't talk now."

"It's Reid."

"Reid? What's happened?"

"He said you knew something."

"Knew something? Gideon what has happened to Reid?"

"I just need to know. Did he tell you something? Something about himself or his mental health? His childhood? Anything out of the ordinary."

There was silence for a while and Gideon could hear Elle's breath catch.

"He said something once. A while back. The time the unsub held us hostage on the train. He said he used to hear voices in his head. That they helped him, but he told me after that he was just playing along. I was never sure what part of the story was a lie."

"Thank you Elle."

"Jason. Is he alright?"

"I don't know Elle." And he hung up.

………….

Reid stood and shakily started the what seemed enormous task of locating the men's room on the train. He was going to be sick. He could feel the coffee and chocolate cake he had devoured a few hours ago climbing its way back up into his throat. He pushed his way by a woman with a buggy "Excuse me" he mumbled holding his hand over his mouth in fear of vomiting over her child and made his way through the small door. He locked the door and knelt on the floor and brought up all the had eaten and all he hadn't.

Leave me alone.

I don't want to run.

They are my friends.

You wouldn't know.

I need them, not you.

They won't hurt me.

Or abuse me.

Let me go. This is over.

And sobbing from deep inside he watched as he threw his phone down the toilet with his stomach contents.

I needed that.

Please leave me alone.

Reid sat on the men's room floor until the train arrived at its final destination.

……..

Spencer walked on slow tired legs down the dusty road towards a small hotel he had seen when he had been here before. He was mumbling to himself and every now and then would stop to look behind him then carry on the walk. The hotel reception was bright and cheery and the young woman on the reception desk was smart and Reid supposed pretty. He booked a room for himself and she turned the guest book towards him.

"If you don't mind just signing in Mr…………………?

"Flanders."

Why did he just say that?

And his hand moved with the pen as he signed in as the man who was inside his head.

He was shown up to his room. It was small but was good for what he needed. He closed the drapes and then took something from his messenger bag and sat at the small desk.

It was a letter. It had his name on the front. His name. Not Flanders. It said clearly 'Spencer'. He tore it open and began to read it.

I don't want to do this.

Please get out.

Leave me alone.

He sat in the half light and read the letter he had been carrying.

Spencer,

All work no play makes Spencer Reid a dull boy. Come play with me.

Fascinating as it may seem I do not want to remain in your head.

Release me Spencer.

Let me take you to places you only dreamed of.

The rest of the letter was just a list of jumbled words

Castes off boots love me only in winter.

Confine my only need to break water and swim.

The words went on for pages.

I love you I love wantneedwantloveneedwantneedwantloveneedwant.

He sat and looked at the pages over and over again until the sounds of birds outside pulled Reid from his trance like state and he walked to the bed and lay down on his stomach and slept.

……….

Jason met with Hotch the next morning.

"I am going to look for him. He asked for my help and I can't just sit back and do nothing Aaron."

"Good. I am glad. Go and find him and bring him home." Hotch shuffled through his paperwork "If you can."

"Aaron." Gideon waited for Hotch to stop fiddling and look at him. "Did something happen between the two of you? What is he so angry with you about?"

Aaron just shook his head. "Jason, nothing happened which shouldn't have. I have no idea what he was talking about either." And he went back to fiddling while Jason watched him. "If that is all Jason you better get going. Do you know where to start looking?"

Gideon nodded and left the room. Morgan was standing outside the door and grabbed Gideon's arm as he walked by. "I am coming with you."

"I need to do this alone."

"No you don't. You need to do this with me. We need to go and help him. He spoke to JJ."

"I know."

"Then I am coming with you. I want to see what that son of a bitch has done to our boy. Then I am going back to Flanders and I am going to skin him alive like he tried to do to Reid."

Gideon nodded. "Come on then. They can cover this case without us."

Jason spent the next while informing Derek that he had a jolly good idea where Reid had gone. This was based in the call he had received that morning from transport police who had found his cell and upon investigating it (having a good nose around) they realised that the phone should be returned. No he didn't know at what point in the journey the phone had been submerged but fortunately the cell was water proof and they now at least knew which train Reid had been on. And as it was a fast train there were few places he could have gotten off. Gideon guessed Reid had gone to the end of the line.

Now it was their turn.

…….

Reid woke up with a stonking headache and a need to drink as much water as he could. He glanced over at the letter he had read the previous evening and smiled at it. He walked to the small bathroom and stood looking in the mirror.

"Where to then? If you insist on being there at least talk to me. Let me know your plan."

And he stood at the mirror, occasionally touching it gently and running his fingers down the glass.

You have me now.

Don't hide.

Tell me what you want.

He suddenly leaned forwards so his lips where nearly touching the glass and breathed out to form a light mist.

HELP ME

He scribed in the fog

Then he turned and left the room. His messenger bag still on the floor where he had left it.

…………..