Fry's alarm went off, and his now mighty fist crushed the clock and the nightstand, an explosion of plastic and wooden splinters flew about his messy, and rather smelly bedroom.
"Whoops. That's right, super strength. Something anyone could forget." He said looking at the smashed piece of furniture's remains.
After a quick shower and scarfing down a week old piece of pizza, this one had the least amount of maggots, he checked, Fry was on his way to work. He passed a few newspaper stands on the way, with Captain Yesterday on the front page.
"If I was capable of reading big people words, I would so buy one!" He thought to himself, admiring the photograph of himself on the paper.
Tinny Tim, the orphan-bot was calling out the headlines of Captain Yesterday he gave Fry a look as if he remembered him from somewhere. "Oh no. He must be able to see through my disguise, he is a robot!"
Tinny Tim stopped pitching his sale for a moment and hobbled over to Fry, his robotic eyes somehow appeared like an innocent young child, that was desperately in need of some alcoholic beverages . "Damn it, here he comes. What do I do?"
"Top of the morning to ya govnah. Pardon me for askin, but are you friends with Bender? The small robot asked in a thick English accent, the type that was complimentary in Charles Dickens's life.
"Uhhh. Yep that's me. Just another slob. Not a superhero. Heh heh." Fry sputtered out nervously.
He grimaced at his own stupidity. If he was going to live a double identity he had to be able to conceal the dual life on each side. "Maybe I should just use my heat vision and melt him, or throw him into the sun….. look at him though he's so tiny and ill alcoholed. I couldn't live with myself."
"May I interest you in a newspaper, please, nobody ever buys them anymore. My dad was laid off at the car plant and my mum has a bad computer virus, tis the only way I can help my family, dear suh." The pathetic looking robot begged.
"Reading hurts my brain. Here take this, it's all I have." Fry said handing him some pocket change that was still in his jacket.
The tiny robot put the coins underneath his hat and gave a smile, the best smile a severely damaged robot could give, but none the less, a smile. Fry continued his walk to work, wishing something bad would happen so he could do more good, this whole being nice thing was really working out rather nicely he thought.
He finally arrived to work. Since the rest of the crew was still somewhere in space, Fry pretty much sat around all day, like any other day at Planet Express. He watched such intelligent TV shows such as, The Worlds Messiest Rooms, The Worlds Stupidest Animals, which had an hour long segment about Fry, and The Worlds Laziest Delivery boys, also with a feature of Fry.
"Man I am stupid and lazy! I was wondering when they would honor it!" Fry cheered to himself.
Leela thanked zombie Jesus when Earth came into view. The mission to the dog doo planet was a success, and Amy had to take 4 showers on the flight home. Leela giggled at that thought, that rich girl finally had to do a real job for a change, other than being on the payroll to supply the Professor with any spare organs, if need be.
Everything was functioning steadily, and once the ship was back in the docking bay everything would be fine, this had been one of her more stressful missions, even with Fry's absence. No heads stuck in craters, no loss of body parts, no asinine tours of the moons dark side, no problems what so ever.
"This mission was perfect, this must be the first one ever!" Leela commented.
Suddenly the PE ship began to break into Earth's atmosphere, and just as sudden began to shudder violently. The claxon once again sounded back on day 1 of the mission. Leela quickly activated the vidphone.
"Amy, what the hell is going on. We are out of control!" Leela paniced.
"I don't know Leela…. Everything is shorting out!" Amy cried.
"Do something!" Leela commanded, trying to keep the ship steady fighting the wheel.
"I don't have the power, Leela, I'm an intern not a machine!" Amy cried back, her face visible in a sea of red sirens going off.
"I wish we had a machine that was capable of doing something!" Leela yelled.
Bender had fallen asleep at his navigation system, unaware of what was happening. He was obviously not going to be that machine capable of doing anything to help, that was for sure. She dialed Hermes at the Planet Express office to let him know that the ship was out of control.
Within seconds Hermes ran into the room Fry was lounging on his ass in.
"Whats wrong Hermes!" Fry asked, working on his 50th can of slurm this hour.
"Sweet thrilla in Manila! The Planet Express ship is on a collision course with the city. We could get sued for dat mon!" Hermes panicked.
Hermes continued running around aimlessly look someone panicking in a comic book, or super hero movie. Fry continued to sit there and blankly watch TV.
"It would take a superhero to stop the ship from crashing! A superhero!" Hermes screamed in fear.
Fry scratched himself in the crotch region, and took a sip of his Slurm, Hermes words echoing in his mind. "It would take a superhero, It would take a superhero, It would take a superhero…" Seemed to flood his mind like an ocean.
What does this mean! My brain feels hurty! Fry thought to himself. Man, I can fly, burn people with my eyes like ants under a magnifying glass, ha ha ha, sit on my ass for god like hours on end, yet I don't know what this Superhero talk means. I wonder if All my Circuits is on TV!
The TV show Fry was watching had just ended, now the News at Noon was coming on.
"Good afternoon, New New York. I'm Morbo, soon to be your tyrannical ruler" The green alien with the pulsating brain said.
"And I'm Linda. Today's top stories, New New York is about to be obliterated as a dark matter space vessel has apparently lost control, and is about to slam into the city, destroying it."
"Morbo loves obliterated city, the sounds of screaming humans and the stench of their burnt flesh is most pleasant." Morbo said, following with a sinister laugh.
Linda giggled at her co anchor's "joke".
"We now go to Asian reporter, Trisha Takanawa's head in Manhattan who is on the scene live." Morbo grumbled.
"Good afternoon, Morbo and Linda. How are the kids Morbo?" The talking head asked.
"Balgerant and numberous!" Morbo growled.
"That's good news. Unfortunately that's not the news here in Manhattan today. An out of control space vessel is plummeting to earth, and due to a loop hole in DOOP policy, no weapons are to be used to damage an out of control object falling toward a planet, according to the Armageddon Charter, section 4 paragraph 666 which was created by a panel led by Zap Brannigan. I have here little Sally from the Cookeville Orphanarium who has a special message for a certain someone"
"Aww how cute, Morbo. Doesn't she look adorable?" Linda giggled.
"Not as cute as she will as a puddle of plasma!" Morbo grumbled, Linda following always with her signature giggle.
The camera panned in on little Sally, who wore tattered clothes and her eyes held an infinite sadness. It was a shame such a harmless child had to be erased from existence in a cruel, harsh reality. She took the microphone in her small, doll like hands and began to speak.
"I know it looks like it's the end, but maybe a miracle will come and save us and the poor people on the ship. New New York has been through a lot through the years and we always came through, maybe somebody can help. Maybe it could be Zapp Branigan or Calculon himself. But I know somebody that sure could, Captain Yesterday!" Little Sally went on, almost all of Earths viewers in tears due to her sweetness and child like naiveness.
"Yeah, that's right! Captain Yesterday will save us!" Fry exclaimed. "Oh yeah, thats me!"
In a matter of seconds he was in his familiar disco-era costume, hurtling toward the stratosphere to the damaged Planet Express ship. It was falling fast, almost at the speed of sound without the engines running, just Earth's gravitational pull drawing it in.
Leela sat at the helm, tears coming out of her single eye. She had failed her mission and her crew. She was buckled into the seat awaiting impact. She had just given the brace for impact order.
"Leela, if it means anything, here! I stole this from you 2 weeks ago." Bender said handing Leela a small white cardboard box.
"Hey those are my birth control pills!" Leela yelled to him.
Bender had engaged his magnetic feet so he could still walk around in a 0 gravity environment while plummeting miles to his doom.
"Woooooo, Leela. Getting it on, huh? Who's the lucky guy!" Bender exclaimed.
"That's none of your damn business, now brace yourself, impact in 30 seconds!" Leela ordered.
Captain Yesterday squinted still seeing the PE ship in the distance, he would need to build up a lot of momentum to resist the ships speed and slow it down. He began to accelerate and an Owl crashed into his face.
"Stupid Owls. This city really needs an exterminator!"
To be continued…….
Well Captain Hero be able to stop the Planet Express Ship? Or will he fail miserably due to the fact he is a complete and utter idiot? Tune in next time, on the same Yesterday Channel and the same Yesterday time!