"Oh, NO," wailed Hermione dramatically. "It's so, AWFUL. Harry has EATEN professor Umbridge's BRAIN! WHAT shall we DO? Oh, the hu-MAN-ity." She was sweeping her arms about and talking like a loon. All the other students were laughing for their lives. However, neither Harry nor Hermione was laughing that afternoon in Dumbledore's office that afternoon. Fudge's face was a shade of purple that would have made uncle Vernon proud.

"This is grounds for expulsion!" he shrieked, pounding his fist on the desk. Hermione was frantic, horrified that Voldemort would try to kill Harry if he left Hogwarts. It was up to her to keep him safe.

"You can't blame Harry, really," she told him coldly. "It says, in the ethical treatment of magical creatures, subsection B, paragraph 113, that no zombie can be arrested or executed for eating anyone."

"I am aware of the wizard's law, Miss Granger," hissed Fudge, "but those laws were written for full-zombies. Potter could have very well known what he was doing," he leaned into Harry's vacant stare with a sneer on his face. "Listening to her scream… cutting me down a man… probably has a hit list or-"

"no." said a voice from the door. The three turned to see Draco Malfoy in the doorway. "I saw the whole thing." He strode forward and pointed at Harry's collar. "he was fussing with it, so Hermione loosened it a little bit, and she started waving her hand in front of his face, and… well, it gave him just the lenience he needed. Well, a dog will bite you if you bait it, won't it? And you know her thing about half-breeds, and… well, Think of it as a giant cheeseburger just sitting there." With the last line, Fudge slouched back in his chair.

Fudge nodded slightly. "I like cheeseburgers." He murmured.

"Of course you do!" said Draco, using this to his advantage. "Now, imagine a leash holding you back from the biggest, juiciest, cheesiest cheeseburger there ever was, just sitting there, right in front of you. If you got a chance to lunge for it, would you take it?"

Fudge closed his eyes and licked his lips. Smack, smack, smack. "Mmm…m'okay…y'can go. I'm goin' to McDonalds." And he stumbled out of the room, holding his hat in his hands.

Hermione looked to Draco. "How did you do that?!"

Draco shrugged. "The man likes cheeseburgers. Whenever he has dinner at our house, he always asks the house-elves to make him a cheeseburger." He locked eyes with Hermione, blushed, and said, "Well… 'Bye." And ran off.

"Wait," called Hermione. He, unsurprisingly, didn't stop. "Wait!" she called again, dragging Harry as fast as she could after Draco. Through long corridors, down winding staircases, deeper and deeper into the castle she chased him. Finally, he turned the wrong corner and faced a stone wall. Hermione caught his shoulders and turned him toward her. Harry had long-since fallen behind and was now wandering around the castle with a heavy metal collar around his neck.

"OK, then, spill," she said in a voice much like Professor McGonagall's. "You hated Harry and me just yesterday. What changed, besides the fact that he's now half-undead? Think you'll stand a better chance taking him to Voldemort if you get close to me?"

"No," said Draco, embarrassed. "I, uh… it's kinda complicated-"

"I don't mind complicated."

He let out a sigh. "Alright… alright…

"When I first met you, I was terrified of my parents. When I went to my father, saying I'd met the smartest, most beautiful girl in the world, but she was muggle-born, he shot me a curve-ball. Y'see, Dad's been wanting out of the death eaters for ages. He told me it was too dangerous to repent right now, there were rumors of something strong happening. So, I played the muggle-born hating, pureblood worshiping douchebag. I fooled everyone, even the sorting hat, even Dumbledore, even… you…

"And then, last year… well, you kinda know… but, Dad went to Dumbledore that same night, and said he wanted to be a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. He told me I could finally talk to you, maybe even… make a friend of you. Perhaps more, if you wanted. I've been working up the nerve to talk to you for ages. Today, in class, Umbridge gave me the perfect chance. I told you guys about Alyssa, and I backed you and Harry up- close to my father, Fudge is- and, well, here we are."

"Here we are," agreed Hermione. She, too, was now blushing furiously. Had Malfoy, rich, pureblood, prejudice Malfoy, been admiring her from a distance for years, put on an act, all to keep them both safe? She wrapped her arms around his neck, and stared into those unfathomable gray eyes. He stroked her cheek, brushing back her hair, only making the blushing worse. "Erm, would you mind, maybe, being friends with Harry too?"

"I don't see why not." Their foreheads were touching now. His teeth nicked her upper lip. Then, with a thrill of horror, she pulled away.

"Harry!" she gasped. "Oh, god!"

"What is it?"

"Harry! I've lost him!"