Title- Aftermath

Fandom- Criminal minds

Rating- K+

Pairing- Hotch/Reid

Other Characters- Jack Hotchner

Word count- 2,066

Author's note- Sorry this took a little longer to get going, I really want to present as realistically as possible, and the grief process is in my experience a long process, but I do want to develop this further than just the funeral and look at how Spencer and Jack move on past this, and continue their lives. As always reviews are really appreciated as these encourage me a lot. Thanks

Chapter 4

Spencer does not expect Jack to volunteer any information on what he has learnt, or what Aaron has left him, and he knows better than to ask. It doesn't stop Spencer wondering though. Whatever Aaron had recorded, it took Jack four hours 32 minutes and around 18 seconds (not that Spencer is counting) to finish with them and knock on the study door. He opens it before getting an answer, a habit that even Aaron hasn't been able to stop the boy from doing, though he is more cautious after catching Aaron and Spencer in an uncomfortable situations on a number of occasions. Even so Spencer isn't too bothered when he sees Jacks head pop through, though his heart does a little drop when he catches Jacks eyes studying the recliner chair which is furnished with blankets and pillows, making it appear as it is being used as a bed; which it is.

Spencer has been consciously careful about keeping his current sleeping arrangements discreet; making sure that Jack is in his room for the evening before venturing to the study for much needed sleep; even going to the extremes of making the bed in the room he shared with Aaron look as if it has been slept in. This illusion has been getting decidedly harder to employ over the last few evenings as Jack has been going out with friends and not returning to late, pushing Spencer's own disjointed sleeping habits even further out of whack as he strives to keep another secret from the younger Hotchner.

The crux of the matter is that Spencer cannot bring himself to sleep in the bed.

The bad that was a location for so many defining moments of Spencer's relationship with Aaron, the bed that is meant for two, the bed that doesn't feel the same without him.

Spencer has tried to sleep in it, as he knows logically that he is being stupid. The bed will give him a much better quality of sleep then the recliner that has only been used very sparingly in the past, as somewhere to spend the night when Spencer and Aaron had a fight, yet Spencer cannot bring him to sleep in the bed. He tries once every few days, slipping beneath the sheets, still favouring his side of the bed. At first it is fine, he has a book in hand and he can almost ignore what is missing, but it is when he removes his glasses, puts down the book and is in the very early stages of sleep, as his mind begins to slow and he instinctively moves toward the middle of the bed to embrace the body that is absent, that Spencer cannot ignore what is missing any longer, for it is oppressive in its absence. The solitude almost choking him as his stomach clenches involuntarily, as if he has been dowsed in ice cold water. He quickly removes himself from the situation and runs to the safety of the study.

Spencer waits with a level of trepidation as Jack takes in the impromptu bed in the study. Spencer could kick himself for not hiding it more carefully, but Jack has very little cause to be in this room, and Spencer stupidly didn't even think that Jack would come in search of him. He makes a mental note to add this omission on his part to the notebook, as these little lapses in his usual astuteness have been happening more regularly since Aaron's death, and waits for Jacks reaction.

"I'm finished with the DVD's" He states, in a way that brokers no questions as he pushes the door further open, and hesitantly steps into the room. Spencer assumes Jack will mention the elephant in the room, as the boy is usually quite direct. Spencer actually finds himself for three tenths of a second disappointed that Jack has not forced him to face this problem head on, before instantly reprimanding himself. He is being ridiculous, however much he may act like it, Jack is not Aaron, he is not even an adult yet, and it is most certainly not Jack's place to guide Spencer through this bereavement, if anything Spencer should be helping Jack.

"Okay" He beings unnecessarily "I'll just finish this chapter and then we'll sort something out for dinner" it is his best interpretation of a responsible adult but it sounds false to his own ears. His eyes quickly fall to the page, though he does not take in a word, too busy trying to formulate a successful strategy of how to proceed through this evening.

"Have you gone through all the contents in the box of dad's things?" Jack asks, waiting for spencer to put the book back into the shelf, standing a good foot away from him. Spencer can't help but smile at the small courtesy, it's one of the rules Aaron had been particular stringent on during Jack's childhood. He was not allowed to interrupt either Aaron or Spencer when they were reading, and was to wait patiently until they had put the work away. In truth the main reason for this rule is that Aaron and Spencer had the habit of bringing case files home, and this ensured that Jack would not interrupt any important work, or more importantly walk in on a grizzly image of a murder victim.

"Umm, not yet I haven't had the chance to sort through it yet, why?" Spencer asks, though he has a feeling Jack is going somewhere with this, rather than just genuine curiosity.

"It is just something that dad had mentioned in one of his- goodbyes" Jack replies, his voice reminding Spencer of the months back when Jack was going through puberty and his voice would alter from falsetto to baritone in the same sentence, Spencer had tried to console Jack by going through the transformation in a detached scientific manor, quoting the Cooksey's range of stages of maturation in the male vocal cords but this didn't seem to work well in that instance.

"He said, that in the case of his death that somewhere in his belongings at the BAU is a form that he has filled that states that you will be the full time primary guardian, and you have full custody of, well me, if you sign."

Jack finishes, at break neck speed, each word uttered quicker than the one preceding it. Spencer can tell that the young man is nervous, his eyes scanning Spencer for any emotional leak. All Spencer can do is blink, his lids moving across his eyes, as he struggles to contemplate what Jack has just said.

It shouldn't come as a shock, after all Spencer has been a carer (He really hates that word, it reminds him to much about the people at his mother's Sanatorium but he cannot think of a better word) for Jack since he was five. Yet Aaron was there, and Spencer was only a background player, sure he would fascinate Jack with stories of the history of dinosaurs, and recite all of his favourite stories word for word on demand, but that was merely a quirk of Spencer's extreme intellect he surmises, the proper parenting, as Spencer likes to think of it as, was done by Aaron.

He was the one who stopped Spencer from rushing Jack to the hospital the first time the six year old contracted chicken pops. He was the one who had discussed the birds and bees with Jack after the ten year old had accidentally walked in to the master ensuite at a rather inopportune moment, when his school bus had failed to appear one morning. Spencer had grabbed a towel and high-tailed it out of the room, leaving Aaron without anything to cover his modesty. Aaron had forced all three of them to sit down in the dining room that evening for a really awkward sex conversation where Spencer had used the word fertilization, no fewer than six times, and had even suggested asking an associate from the local university to bring round working silicone reconstructions of male and female reproductive systems, before Aaron had taken pity on both Spencer and Jack who was visibly squirming at this point, and suggested that Spencer go into the den and get a start on his reading for his latest PHD paper.

No, upon reviewing his performance as Jack's carer so far, Spencer does think that he is seriously lacking in any of the necessary experience to be allowed sole responsibility for the young man. Of course he has been alone with him for the best part of eleven days, but that has been different, the two have been grieving, and both Spencer and Jessica had decided it would be best for him to stay in familiar surroundings but Spencer has assumed that final arrangements would change and be decided after the funeral, but Aaron's decision has put him in a tail spin.

"It should be in his belongings" Jack continues, his weight moving from each foot, as he squirms in the situation he has found himself, before taking the opportunity to move and find the document.

Spencer silently follows him back into the living room, watching as Jack unceremoniously takes the lid off the box, and rifles through Aaron's belongings, occasionally taking out items and places them on the table to aid his search. Spencer recognises a lot of the paraphernalia; letter openers, paper weights and photo frames that should litter his desk, and not this box. Jack takes a few minutes to find it, but somewhere at the bottom of the box is official looking paper which Jack hands over as quickly as he recognises it. Spencer takes them, the knowledge seeping into his brain without really comprehending it.

"Well?" Jack asks expectantly, though Spencer is still in too much of a daze to know what is expected of him.

"Um, well it looks official enough, but being a former prosecutor, I would expect nothing less"

"Well yes, of course." Jack agrees, "But what I mean is, what do you think? Will you sign? Will you have me?"

Will you have me?

The note of uncertainty in Jacks voice, the edge of almost desperation to be wanted hits Spencer somewhere near his gut like a physical blow, and for the first time he sees Jack not as a young Aaron, but as a young Spencer. For as long as Spencer can remember his conscious thoughts he remembers this unnerving need to be wanted, and more importantly be cared for. With an apparent level of maturity that he now possesses Spencer can see, that he was indeed needed by his mother, and that even with her illness Diana Reid, always wanted and loved her son dearly, but it didn't stop her young son from basically growing up alone, as her illness began to further entomb her in her own mind, and that as it always does brings his mind onto the subject of William Reid, and as soon as the name is brought up. Spencer knows that he can never say no to Jack, even if he does secretly deep inside think that Jessica would be a better guardian, he can never let Jack even think for a second that Spencer would ever turn his back on him.

"Of course, I want nothing more. . . I . . . love you . . . Jack" Even though he stutters over the last four words, still unfamiliar with voicing his feelings in such an overt manor, Jack cannot help but beam at the man he always thinks of as papa in his head, though he has never had the courage to say out loud.

Spencer braces himself as Jack pulls him into a bone crunching hug; Jack has always been more tactile than his father, and Spencer has got a lot better at least accepting his many hugs, though he is still working on initiating them. He smiles as the first slithers of real happiness begin to filter through his nerves, a real smile beginning to make its way across his face, though in the confines of his mind, he makes a mental note to get a clause amended to the end of the papers, where if any signs of mental disorder effect spencer he wavers all guardian rights and Jessica is appointed sole carer.