Trigger Warning: mentions of suicide and parental abuse. Proceed with caution and take care.

Also, if dad jokes offend you, skip this chapter.

Many thanks to LookUpI'mThere for telling me about the uploading mistake!

John Laurens headed out of the bathroom and went to his locker. He was less than 20 lockers down from Alex. When they were freshmen this section was for G-L last names, so he got lucky. And to be on the second floor of their three-floor high school was a luxury. John's fingers stretched out to the lock. "Clear it, right turn to 16, left turn, go past 16 to 46, and right immediately to 30." He muttered to himself as he followed his own instructions.

"You could just stuff a pencil in the locking mechanism, like over half the student population." That voice was without a doubt, most definitely Alexander Hamilton, and he sounded cheerful.

"Do you, Lexi?" He bit out, swinging open his locker door instead of turning around.

"No, I don't." He sounded hurt.

"Then don't tell me what to do." John spoke loudly, glancing over his shoulder at last. Alexander looked as hurt as he sounded.

"I'm- I'm sorry. If I had known you were in such a bad mood I wouldn't have said anything." He looked at the floor and started walking over to his own locker. Sure enough, he started turning the lock.

Laurens wanted to bang his head against the wall of lockers. Or maybe the brick wall a few feet over. "Hey, Alex, I'm sorry. It's not you. I'm just mad at something else and you came along. You were trying to be helpful." Although he was still facing his locker, he was staring at Alex from the corner of his left eye. He saw the teenager's hair move as his head lifted up and turned towards him.

John pretended not to notice that Alex was looking at him, choosing to pull a random textbook out of his locker and cradling it in his arm. "Hey John," Alex started, the smile shining through his voice brighter than the sun, "what do you call a deer with no eyes?"

"What?" John asked suspiciously.

"I have no EYE-DEER!" Alex started laughing.

John groaned aloud. "That was a dad joke. A really bad dad joke."

"Yes it was. Want to hear another?" Alex asked, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Not really."

"Want to hear a joke about paper?" Alex prompted.

"No." John said firmly.

"Never-mind, it's tearable!" Alex cheered, ripping a piece of paper out of his notebook for emphasis.

John couldn't help it. He chuckled. Not at the joke, because it made him cringe more than anything else, but mainly at how excited Alex was. It was adorable. He was grinning widely from ear to ear. He was beaming. Practically glowing.

"Hey, John? If you mention a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an iWitness?" John groaned again, but this time he was smiling. Smiling and laughing. "See John? You don't have to be in a bad mood."

"Maybe." John agreed, before seeing Alex's smile falter. "What's up?"

"Do you have a girlfriend, John? Because Herc keeps going on about his and I'm honestly at a loss for what to tell him right now." Alex asked.

"Haven't you had a girlfriend before?"

"Two. But neither was like his current girlfriend. Ever dated a girl who was really adventurous?" Alex elaborated. John didn't respond. "What? No girlfriend for you back in South Carolina?" When Alex still received no response, he elaborated, "No anybody down in South Carolina?"

"I did." John whispered. Alex walked over to his classmate.

"Who was he?" Alex asked softly.

"His name was-" John Laurens' voice cracked. He couldn't continue. He wanted to continue. He did. But he couldn't. Not right there. Not right then. He turned his back to the lockers and slid down until he was on the floor. "Michael." He whispered. It was easier to continue this way. "Like the archangel. Because that's what he was. An angel. To me, anyway." The tears started. Great. Sob in front of the guy you want to impress. Sob about your ex. Fabulous. "But his dad wanted- Well, he didn't approve. So one day, I went to see him, one day when I knew the beating from the day before was particularly painful, but he wasn't there. I knew his parents were out- they always were on Wednesday's. Until 7:45. Those were the best days. So I looked for him, and there he was."

Alex wrapped his arm around John. "How did he do it?"

"Pills. In the bathroom." He choked out. If the tears had been a stream before, now they were a waterfall, at a Niagara Falls level.

Alex pulled John into his chest. He rubbed circles into his back. "Just breathe. Alright John? Remember to breathe." A couple of times John choked, probably on his own snot or saliva, but for the most part he stayed calm enough to breathe.

"How did you know that-that Michael k-killed himself?"

"When I was six, my dad split. He just left me and my mom. She died when I was eight. Cancer. My cousin, he lived on the same island, so I moved in with him. Nine months later, found him hanging from the shower curtain rod. Rope 'round his neck."

"Island?" In the process of lifting his head up from Alex's chest to look him in the eye, the ribbon holding John's hair back came undone and his curls fell into his face.

Alex chuckled. "Of course you'd pick up on that. But then again, I think you're my only classmate who doesn't know, right? I'm from Nevis, an island in the Caribbean. I was moved into an orphanage in New York, but then the Washingtons adopted me. Then they moved here, and so... Connecticut."

"How can you be so matter-of-fact about it all? Like your cousin committing suicide. And your mother dying."

"I guess it's just... my story, you know? Everything happens for a reason. It sucked to live through it, but I've cried enough." Alex held John tighter. "I still cry though. On anniversaries and such. I can't remember one of my birthdays where I didn't cry either. But on other days, I get by.

"But today, I guess it's in my story to help you get by. Don't worry, I'm not homophobic or anything. Your secret is safe with me. Hell, it's kind of my secret too. Alexander Hamilton, bisexual. Glad to make your gay acquaintance."

John let out a weak laugh and smiled. Alex wiped away some of the other boy's tears. "Well, Alexander, I'm pleased to make your gay acquaintance as well."