Being numb is like waking up in that grey light. No noise and no thoughts, you're floating in open water. You don't have the weight on your feet, or on your heart. It's a difficult state to keep. On one hand you sink too deep and drown in your sorrow. On the other hand you face the problems and work through them trudging to survive. I think I'll stay here for a while.

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Did you know that I like your smile?

Did you know it makes me go the extra mile?

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I couldn't think. I just stood there staring at the back windshield until the car turned the corner. Suddenly I was engulfed in a hug from both sides. I turned and latched onto the person to my right and just held onto him. Lip, Ian, I didn't know but I knew I needed them. I felt them nod their head to the side and the other person backed away. Right after that I heard footsteps going up my porch stairs and the door opening and shutting. At this point I didn't care what he was doing. It took me a minute to realize but my current death grip victim was mumbling into my ear.

"Lyd... Lydia, come on, let's sit." Lip. Of course my subconscious would make me turn to him. With his arm still wrapped around me he pulled me to the steps and we sat down facing the street. Like he had the other day, he pulled my head to his chest and just held me. He was rocking ever so slightly and I wrapped my arms around his torso. His arm, that was slung over my shoulder, hugged me close and he played with a bit of my hair. I didn't notice at first but, as I stared down his chest, droplets turned into wet patches.

"I'm ruining your shirt," I mumbled.

"You're not ruining it, you're giving it character."

"That's not a thing."

"It is so. Besides if Frank couldn't ruin this shirt when he wore it two weeks ago, your tears won't stand a chance," he said with a breathy laugh. I smiled a little at his tone. He was right of course if Frank couldn't ruin it no one could. We sat there together for a few more minutes, he had lit a cigarette, and I couldn't help but close my eyes. Not long after, Ian came back out of the house with a small bag and my wallet. I sat up slowly still using Lip for most of my support.

"What are you doing?"

"I got some of your stuff, you're coming to stay with us for a few days."

"I probably shouldn't you guys... I gotta clean the house an—"

"You're coming to stay with us for a few days. It wasn't a question Lyd," Lip said. He ducked his head a bit and looked me in the eyes. "You aren't staying here by yourself."

We sat there staring at each other for a minute or two before I broke the eye contact and glanced at my hands, nodding slowly.

"Alright, come on, up and attem." Lip held my good hand as I stood up and I nearly toppled on him my legs were so sore. We must have been sitting there a lot longer than I had estimated, or they were coming down off the shock.

"Woah, hey, you want a piggy back ride just ask," he said laughing.

I let out a huff of a chuckle and said sorry before walking down the rest of the steps. We started walking slowly and didn't say much. What was there to say?

When we were just down the street from their house I heard someone yelling from behind us.

"Hey L.A.! Where have you been?" Billy. I didn't even have words. I was stunned he would even say anything to me right now.

Whispering to Ian I said, "remember what you were saying the other day?" He nodded bit. "You were so right." Suddenly his face hardened up a bit as if preparing for an ugly conversation. Lips too.

"L.A.! What, are you ignoring me now?" We could hear his footsteps now so I slowed down and stopped with a Gallagher on either side of me. We were just a half a block from their house. If we yelled Fi would come running out with The Bat. I turned around to face him.

"What's up Bill?" I said with a cool tone.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"So my four calls this morning and half a dozen texts a day for the past couple of days is you trying to get a hold of me?"

"You must have been calling the wrong number! I've been calling."

"Well so have I and I'm really not in the mood for any of your shit right now."

"My shit? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

"I'm taking to Billy Marshall, resident asshole of the South Side. You heard of him?" He took a step forward and raised a hand only to have two pissed Gallagher boys in his face.

"You touch her your dead," Ian said through grinding teeth.

"No, he'll just wish he was." Lip looked almost lethal. The sheen of sweat from walking had caused some of his hair to stick to the sides of his face which was red with anger. His biceps were jumping with pent up energy and he was shuffling on his feet every so often.

"Oh really? What are you fucking pussies gonna do huh?" Two seconds later he regretted his question.

Lip socked the fuck out of his left ear.

Suddenly Billy Marshall and Philip Gallagher where in an all out street brawl, I was screaming, Ian was throwing well aimed kicks, and Fiona was running down the street with Carl behind her carrying The Bat. Fiona pried Lip off of Billy and held him back while Ian put Billy in an arm lock to hold him off. Fiona let Lip throw her off and she started trying to ask questions.

"First off, What the fuck??"

"He was gonna hit her." Lip ground out. Fiona's eyes widened as she looked menacingly at Billy and Carl choked up his hold on the bat.

"What?" She said in that tone that mothers use before they have to beat the kid who pushed their kid on the playground.

"I wasn't gonna hit her! That's bullshit!! Tell her L.A.!"

"First of all. No one. Calls me L.A. you got that shit breath? And second of all, yes. You tried to fucking backhand me in front of two fucking people, you complete and utter ass! For all I care you can fucking rot in the sewer with the rest of the shit beneath my heels."

I reared back and kicked him straight in the balls. He started screaming, Kev and V ran out of their house, neighborhood dogs started barking, it was a whole big mess. I fucking loved it.

Fiona winced at the obvious anguish that the boy, who Ian let fall to the ground so he could cup his junk, was in. I honestly couldn't care less. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Fool me three times? Not a fucking chance.

It wouldn't have been the first time that he hit me. But the third. And like I said, not a fucking chance.

I leaned down to look him in his pained face, I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "By the way Bill. If you couldn't tell by the stabbing pain in your dick, the multiple lacerations on your face, or even that black fucking eye that is developing. We are done." With that I stood up and heard all the Gallagher's, and Kev and V, cheer.

Not wanting him to truly die Lip and Ian picked him up out of the road where he had landed and laid, more like tossed, him on the side walk on the other side of the street. Ian kicked his thigh for good measure before picking up my bag that he had dropped earlier.

After they got back over to us we all walked the last few paces to the house and went inside to the kitchen.

"Jesus Lydia what a day, huh?" Fiona asked standing next to Lip with a concerned look on her face. Standing there in the middle of the kitchen however seemed to overwhelm me because suddenly I was swaying and my vision was blacking out.

"Shit, shit! She's passing out, Ian!" I think that was Lip.

When I woke up I was on the Gallagher couch in the living room and everyone was staring at me. Between you, me, this couch was comfortable as fuck.

"Jesus Lyd." Lip.

"What's up Lip?"

"You gonna give anyone else a heart attack today or just us?"

"I think I gave Billy a dick attack, is that close?" He gave a real laugh.

"Fuck yeah... I think that's the best thing I've seen all summer."

"How long was I out?"

"Well I caught you and brought you in here, you've been out maybe two hours," Ian said.

"Two Hours?!" He started laughing. "You dick! How long? Come on."

"It was only five minutes," he said laughing.

"Did you see God?" Carl asked, Fiona slapped him upside the head.

"Carl she didn't die... did you?"

"No Debs, I didn't die," I said chuckling. I loved being surrounded by the Gallagher's. With them there I wouldn't be so inclined to think about my... my mom.

I was so horrible to her, so stupid, so self—

"Hey, self distructo girl. You gonna let me squeeze in and check your vitals or what?" V, mama bear without cubs.

"Come on over Mama Bear." She smiled at me with a little glare thrown in for good measure.

"You seem fine... how many fingers am I holding up?" She lifted her hand in the air making a fist.

"V if you wanted a fist bump all you had to do was ask. No fingers." I said with a smile as she laughed and shoved my shoulders. Slowly I sat up and everyone crowded in to sit around me.

"So, I heard that we're gonna have a new face at the home this week." V never really was one to beat around the bush when she wanted to know something. I could feel my face heating up.

"Yeah, you will. Um, if it's okay I'd rather not talk about it."

"You sent your mom to the crazy house? Harsh." Lip slapped Carl upside his head. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"It's not a crazy house, you doof. It's inpatient care."

"Again, please, new topic." My mother hates—

"What do you want for dinner Lyd? We've got... Well... we have mac and cheese?" Asked Fiona.

"That actually sounds super good. Yes please," I said with a small smile. She nodded her head and went straight to the kitchen to start mixing it up for everyone.

"Okay girlie, don't you fall asleep for another four hours okay? Just to be sure Ian caught your head properly," V said as she raised her eyebrows at me. I laughed softly and said "Yes mam! Will do." It wouldn't be hard to stay awake here. There was constant chatter and running around and fights. It would be like living in a soap opera.

V smiled at me and stood before heading into the kitchen to talk to Fiona.

"So you didn't die? Not even a little bit?" Carl asked. When I shook my head no he huffed a bit. "That sucks." He then dodged a hand to the back of the head and ran upstairs, chased by Debbie who was actually trying to slap him in the back of the head the whole way up the stairs. I love the Gallagher's.

I sighed and glanced around at Ian and Lip.

"What is it with me this week? All I seem to be able to do is cry, or fall. You know I'm not usually like this."

Lip shrugged one shoulder and said, "maybe you're on your period." My mouth dropped open at him and he started to smirk and laugh. Ian busted out laughing and I couldn't help but join in after slapping Lip on the arm.

"You are such a dick!" His eyes were sparkling and he still had a smirk on his lips. We stared at each other for a minute before I shook my head and reached for the remote to the tv. Ian was silently staring at me and Lip.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head and raised his eyebrows. "Nothing," he said with a little smile. I shook my head and smiled at him before turning back to the television.

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Okay guys, Billy is history I think. Thank god. And honestly Lydia doesn't normally have all these balance issues but it has been a pretty emotionally heavy week for her. Hopefully it'll look up soon!! Her and lip have been sharing some stares!! :)

Updates coming as soon as I can write them!!

Thank you for all the views!!

Drop4Lunar