Disclaimer: As usual, all that is of the Potter universe belongs to JKR. I merely have this plot to offer and some out of canon ideas. What She Wants
"I don't suppose you want to eat lunch yet?" Sirius asked sometime nearing noon.
"Actually, now that the migraine broke, I am famished again. This time it is my turn to astound you with my culinary skills, Mr. Black," Hermione commanded.
Not willing to allow her to out do him, he swept her up in his arms again and threw her over his shoulder. "Very well, your highness, to your throne room you go."
He then unceremoniously plopped her on the countertop where she proceeded to glare at him.
"After all these years you know that glare has no effect on me," he scolded.
She merely quirked her eyebrow and then her expression softened. Her eyes grew large and soft, the edges of her mouth fell, and a nearly imperceptible quiver began in the region of her lower lip.
"You have no shame do you?" Sirius asked.
"Of course not," Hermione replied hopping off the counter and grabbing the old white apron from its hook. Before she could reach around to tie it, Sirius took the strings from her and made a neat bow at the back of her waist.
"Thank you very much kind sir, now go sit."
"Yes ma'am," Sirius replied as he took a seat at the table.
Hermione proceeded to spend the next fifteen minutes humming to herself as she methodically moved around the kitchen. Where Sirius seemed to move in the kitchen as is every action was a casual response to a momentary impulse, Hermione buzzed as if she were following a detailed choreography. Indeed, to the man watching her, she seemed to move with a grace he had not truly noticed before.
As she began to set the dishes and food on the table, Hermione noticed that Sirius was silent and watching her every move. A silent Sirius is usually something to be wary around as it usually meant there were some plots running in his mind. However, given the day, she thought he might again be immersed in memories.
"It's not much, but it's what I felt like," she explained as they surveyed the salad, cold cuts, and rolls she had placed before them. She went to get some pumpkin juice to drink and then took her seat.
"Hermione, I am a male. If it is food, I'll eat it," he simply stated.
"That's one way to compliment the cook," she rolled her eyes. "However, I do have better plans for dinner."
"As I have an idea for a fantastic dessert then, that is ideal," Sirius commented while chewing some salad.
Hermione shook her head as she chewed her salad with a closed mouth. 'Honestly, what is it in the Y chromosome that keeps men from having basic manners?' she thought to herself.
For a few minutes silence fell on them. Both became lost in their thoughts. Hermione continued along her theoretical genetic inquiry. Sirius' mind was on quite a different track. As his next comment gave evidence.
"Hermione, do you have everything you want out of life?" he asked.
Startled by his question, she pulled herself out of her scientific ponderings. "Where did that come from?"
"Well, you talked about that you just want to live your life, but are you happy with your life?" he clarified.
Realizing he was genuinely curious, she paused to consider her answer. "My job at the ministry is rewarding and enjoyable. I love my friends and my various pseudo-nieces and nephews. I have fun when I am off work with friends. I am content to spend an evening at home with a good book. I believe I am happy," she concluded.
"Is there nothing else you want in life?" he persisted.
"Oh, Sirius, I don't know. I want to travel more still," she drifted off. She thought perhaps this would satisfy the suddenly inquisitive man across from her.
"So all that you want beyond what you have is to travel?" he asked, not believing she was fully truthful with herself or with him. He let the silence back into the room. Hermione was always one to thoroughly think things through, so he gave her the time he knew she needed.
"No, I want more than that. I do want what I see between Harry and Ginny. I think I would want that to grow into what I see between Molly and Arthur. Somewhere down the line I think I want to have a bunch of kids running around. A part of me wants that just like a part of me wants to be Minister some day."
'Finally, she got it all out,' Sirius thought. He had long thought that the witch who seemed married to her job and content with playing the favorite aunt wanted more than that for her life.
"It is low to kick a girl when she is already down," she commented finally.
Hermione continued eating without making eye contact with Sirius. Suddenly her salad became utterly fascinating. For every bite she took, she pushed the leaves around several times. She was lost in thoughts about what she wanted from life. After the tumultuous years spent at Hogwarts, this quiet life was what she always wanted. It was why a relationship with Victor or Ron never would have worked. The life of Quidditch stars is not what she wanted to be a part of and those two loved Quidditch first and foremost. The residual fame resulting from the war and all the misadventures while in school were more than she ever wanted.
For her entire childhood everyone from her family to her professors told her of the great things she could accomplish. Her parents saw her intelligence and pushed her to study hard so she could be a great doctor or barrister or professor. Once at school, her professors saw her genius and all suggested she pursue their favorite field. She acknowledged all these hopes, but carved a role out for herself in the ministry. She did not use her celebrity to push her way to a top position. Continuing the stubborn streak, which Ron still felt necessary to point out to her, she was determined to work her way to the top. A part of her wanted to be Minister of Magic, to fix all the problems of the world.
However, as she watched Harry and Ginny over the last couple of years, she started to have some unusual mental rumblings. All her aspirations to do something magnificent, to continue to save the world, to be the heroine, seemed not quite sufficient. She was loathe to admit it and until Sirius had demanded an answer, she had not voiced it even silently to herself. Now, after having to articulate it to another, it drove home that there was more that she wanted out of life. For the first time since the end of the war, she had to admit there was something that she wanted to have, to do, and could not in the least fathom how to go about achieving it. And that, that lack of knowledge or power to grasp what she wanted scared her like nothing had since that final battle.
Hermione would have been significantly more concerned as she went through this vastly uncomfortable thought process that she was been scrutinized by Sirius. Even more discomforting would be the knowledge that each thought was as easy to read as a first year spell. Sirius knew that during the war she had a face of stone. It was easier to get an emotional response from the walls of Hogwarts than Hermione Granger. However, over the years and under the influence of all her unofficial nieces and nephews, Hermione had softened.
Sirius was deep in his meditations on the changes Hermione had gone through since he had first met her all those years ago when she was just thirteen. Hermione suddenly jumped out of her revere and became incalculably ill at ease. Luckily she realized it was now after noon and she had yet to shower. In fact, she was not sure whether she had showered the day before. Her life was really too hectic.
"Umm, yeah…I'm going to go hop in the shower. Do you mind cleaning up a bit? I think you can occupy yourself for a bit. Do whatever you want, just don't permanently damage anything, please," she said.
"Whether you want to believe it or not I can manage not to wreak havoc for a whole half an hour, Miss Granger," Sirius retorted.
"Not from what McGonagall told me," she sing-songed her way out of the room.
"Think what she wants, I'm not done with her yet," he mused as he put away the dishes with one flick of his wand and wiped the table with the other.
Finishing putting the kitchen to rights, he wandered down the hall. He knew he would only have a few minutes until Hermione returned. Even when getting ready for formal events she never took more than half an hour to prepare. Figuring the library was the most entertaining room, after all, that is where Hermione practically lived, he headed back down the hallway. He chuckled as he thought that she had three levels to her flat, she spent most of her waking hours in one room.
He glanced at the walls, lined with book shelves of course, looking at the book titles. Realizing he was not going to read he instead walked over to the television and chairs. Taking a seat he flicked on the set and flipped through the various channels. Muggle television fascinated him, though he would not admit it to many.
Meanwhile, Hermione had made it to the top of her flat where her room and bathroom were. Peeling off the pajamas finally and stepping under the steaming hot water helped to clear her mind. It took quite a bit to unnerve Hermione Granger and Sirius had managed to do so with just one question.
"That man is utterly infuriating!" she huffed as she shampooed her hair. "Who does he think he is? I am perfectly willing to comfort a friend in a difficult spot. Honestly, I've even gone with him to all those Quidditch games when Ginny kept Harry at home." Finishing her tirade as she began rinsing the shampoo out she was silent until the conditioner went on, then she started her rant again.
"I know what I want in life. I know I want to continue to make my life count for something. I want to accomplish something grand," again she stopped when it came time to rinse.
She managed to make it through the rest of her shower without talking to herself any more. However as she dried herself with her favorite oversized towel and charmed her hair dry her mind picked up its tirade. Not quite articulating its dissatisfaction with the situation, it degenerated into more a disgruntled mumbling.
As Hermione's mind began to berate him, Sirius was absentmindedly continuing his perusing of Muggle television. His mind was contemplating the woman whose life he had invaded. In his life he had known only a handful of people who would have put their lives on hold for a slightly insane man showing up on the doorstep at two in the morning. In fact, he began to list them, "James, Remus, Lily, Harry…" There the list ended. Considering that the only other person on that list who was alive was Harry, and now he was occupied with his own new family, Sirius realized Hermione was an incredibly unique person in his life.
"Hmmm…" he contemplated. Actually, Sirius realized that Hermione had entered his thoughts more than usual lately. Of course some of that was aided by the fact that Harry was so busy with the baby. He had convinced Hermione to accompany him to all the major Quidditch matches of the past season. They had of course gone to see every one that Ron had played. Given some of those were tournaments in Ireland and Romania, they had even had a few times where they had actually spent several consecutive days in each other's company.
Sirius chuckled, "Even Lily began to lose patience with me after a long weekend with James present as a buffer. How does Hermione do it?"
Hermione was pulling out an old pair of jeans, shirt and a cardigan thinking much the same thoughts as Sirius. "Honestly, how do I ever put up with him?" As she pulled her hair back in a loose braid she headed back downstairs.
"Why would he even care what I want out of life, anyway?" she questioned.