"Bmp, Bmp, Bmp. Another one bites the dust. Bmp, Bmp, Bmp. Another one bites the dust."
"Bmp, Bmp, Bmp. Another one bites the dust. Bmp, Bmp, Bmp. Another one bites the dust."
"Another one down, another one do-oowwwn, another one bites the dust. Ohhh yeaa!"
A battle axe flew through the air, wide ways and flew right through the Turok-Han's neck, decapitating it and imbedding itself in the wall. As it turned to dust with a strange half choked gurgle sound, Buffy pulled another axe out of her bag. She was wearing black leather pants and a black top. She handed another axe to Faith also, and the two of them continued to dance, almost ballet like around the cave chamber, killing Turok-Han as they showed up. There were also about twelve potential slayer girls in the back behind them, watching this murderous ballet and Andrew was there too. One Turok-Han ran up in between the two slayers, hoping to surprise them. Buffy turned around and sliced off his left arm while Faith spun around and sliced off his right. The vampire looked back and forth between the two, and just as he started to make a move, both Buffy and Faith swung their axes horizontally at the same time, and chopped him into three equal pieces before he dusted. "Bmp, Bmp, Bmp. Another one bites the dust." Buffy prepared herself as more came. Buffy and Faith fought back to back, circling around, killing the Turok-Han as they emerged from the two tunnels leading into the cave entrance.
"Okay class, Turok-Han biology 101." Buffy said, as she and Faith circled around each other while staying in the center of the room, conveniently between the two entrances. The Turok-Han stopped and looked at the two before them. "Look at their tendons, their thick arms, and their thick claw like fingers. They are most certainty all solid with compressed muscle power." Buffy went on, using her axe as a pointer. "Study their feet. Similar in formation and toe and hind claws to their hands. Also such formations are able to be found on wolves and dogs. This indicates they can probably climb well. Especially in rocky and unstable conditions, such allows them to push off or launch off of nearby walls and floors and ceilings, effectively allowing them to jump, turn, or flip around faster and more importantly, more efficiently than humans, or other vampires." Buffy and Faith spun their axes around and killed two more Turok-Hans with only a single movement. "The way to counter this is not to waste any movement. They don't, neither should you. A single swing, dodge or movement. Every movement should put you in a better situation." Buffy reached into the bag, and pulled out, the M scythe. As she picked it up, she let the cave light play off of its edges, radiating its holy power.
"Hopefully, none of you will be taking on the Turok-Han yet, but be aware, these things are may seem like vampire terminator machines, but they are capable of all the same emotions as any vampire, including fear." Two more Turok-Han approached, and Faith backed up, to give Buffy the floor. She cracked her neck, took a slow deep breathe, then flipped the M scythe over the back of her right hand, once, twice, three times, each time getting faster. She swung and slid the weapon down her arm, flipped it over her head, through her legs and switched hands. With every motion, she picked up speed. Buffy began to twirl around in place, continuing to swing the M scythe over her head, through her legs, around her legs, switch hands flipping it over and around her hands. In a second, she looked like a human blur. The Turoks were getting nervous and started to back up, but before they could, Buffy leapt forward and brought down the blade, hitting the cave floor. The shockwave of her movement actually knocked the vampires off their feet, but before they hurt their bony asses, Buffy brought back up the blade and decapitated one vamp from underneath. She then switched hands, spun around and with a crack of her back to spread the energy to the other hand, brought the blade back down, decapitating the other vamp from above. All this happened in about three seconds, and both Turok-Hans dusted into a pile hitting the floor with a perfectly synced timing.
"Here endeth the lesson, any questions?" Buffy asked as she turned around and addressed the potentials. They all nodded and smiled, and were in the process of turning to head up into the light via a latter and up through the sewer access, when the lid lifted prematurely. Everyone backed up, as a man wearing a coat over his head came down out of the light and the city street above. He took off his coat to reveal, Angel. He walked towards Buffy smiling, stopping only when he saw Faith emerge calmly from behind her, cleaning off her axe. Buffy turned to Faith and said simply, "Take them home and make Andrew shut that music off before I have to kill him, and I feel a headache coming on." She finished speaking while turning to look straight at Angel, no apologies or remorse for her comment or any previous behavior in her icy stare. With a little wave of her hand, all the potentials started climbing up out of the sewer grate, Andrew pausing only long enough to shut off his miniature boom box he was carrying. The sounds of "Another one bites the dust" faded and stopped. As Faith walked by, she stopped just behind Angel and leaned back, almost as an afterthought. "Hey, take the duster off before you guys speak, will ya? I give you thirty seconds before Buffy stakes your ass again soul boy, and destroying that coat would be a real shame." She wiggled her eyebrows a moment, and then followed the rest up out of the sewer cave place, and back into the world of light.
Angel whistled. "Whoo, she must trust you a lot Buffy to leave you down here with your ex." Buffy shrugged. "Trust was never her problem. She just didn't believe she was worthy of someone as fabulous as she thought I was, right from the beginning. Now she knows, even if she doesn't think she's worthy, I do, and she trusts me not to screw up what she knows I desire so badly." Buffy said all this with her arms crossed over her breast, which would have been merely intimidating. However, she was still carrying the M scythe in her right hand, effectively crossing that across her breast too, making her look absolutely biblically terrifying. "And she doesn't doubt her worth either," Buffy added after a moment. "After all, we're getting married tomorrow." Now Angel had had plenty of sarcastic remarks about the love of his life dating this psycho prepared. None of them included the scenario where she was getting married at all, let alone tomorrow! As a result, all his well-planned arguments fell to pieces. His mouth fell open in shock. "Buffy? Y-You can't marry that psycho bitch! I can barely stand to think about how helpless I will feel when she finally betrays and hurts you while I'm in L.A. It'd be impossible for me to protect you if you're husband and, and, um? What exactly will you to be titled as? Husband and wife, wife and wife?" He finished his tirade in a moment of actual confusion and curiosity. "Well I think the actual term is life partner," Buffy added slowly, trying to answer honestly. "But since it's been stated that slayers aren't actually human due to the whole death equals newborn thing, we were all thinking we could use the excuse to come up with something that didn't sound so formal, maybe slayer king and queen? Faith has always been more dominant than me, or the title of Huntresses?" Buffy added with a hopeful smile. Faith had come up with that one, and Buffy liked it. "Naw, huntress sounds more like an order title, just like slayers do, besides," Angel shook himself out of his current mindset, snapping back to reality. "Think Buffy! There's a war on! Is this really the time for playing pretend with a stand in for me?" Buffy swung the M scythe down and dragged it behind her as she drew closer to Angel. "Playing pretend? A stand in? You?" Buffy actually tried to hold back laughter as she contemplated this. The seriousness pf her laughter was not missed by Angel. "Okay first of all, Oh my god, the ego. Second of all soul boy," Angel ground his teeth at hearing Buffy use Faith's name for him. "I love Faith more than anything, than everything! I believe I proved that four years ago. I didn't want you to die, but I wasn't going to lose Faith by either of us dying to feed you. However I didn't want you my friend, to suffer either so..." Angel felt almost actual pain as Buffy referred to him as a friend only. "And for your information, we both know there's a war on! That's why we stepped up the timetable from Halloween, when it's supposed to be quiet. If we all die soon, I want to know that I've formally sworn myself to Faith, in this life, and the next!"
This was starting to sound serious, Angel realized. Buffy actually thinks she loves that crazed freak. It only took him a moment to think of another argument. "Oh yea, well who's going to officiate it? The whole town's been evacuated." Angel smiled at this till Buffy opened her mouth and spoke just one word. "Spike." Angel's eyes actually dilated as he considered the ramifications of this. "That's impossible! Spike's not a…" Then he remembered Italy.
ITALY- Spike and Angel had been held hostage by agents of a particularly evil asshole named, "The Immortal", and during this period of hanging around in a barn, the immortal had had wild sex with both Drusilla and Darla simultaneously. In the aftermath of this event the terrifying duo had left their women and instead decided to go on a vengeance streak across Italy to leave their mark, and claim the country as theirs so powerfully, even the immortal wouldn't be able to defile it. They had stormed the Vatican and charged into the Pope's courters and threatened him themselves. In order to spare his own life, the pathetic old man had offered to officiate them as agents of God or any god that they wished. Angel and Spike had thought, "What the hell might as well have some fun? They had requested "Laddon" the Dragon God. They had thought the Pope would never go for it. If he had known who Laddon was, he wouldn't have dared. Laddon was one of the mighty Gods that made up the PTB. Not only that, but he was one of the mightier forces of nature at that. He was singlehandedly responsible for almost all of Asia's ancient history, and had woven his way through the history of man on virtually every continent, including ancient Greece. Like his namesake in Greek mythology. As the dragon placed to protect the tree, with the golden apples of immortality. The Pope had gone through with it though, and as soon as he had signed a piece of paper labeling them as messengers of Laddon, they had killed him, laughing as he died choking and cursing his own lord and savior. So much for his faith.
Angel shook his head. This was spinning out of control fast. If Buffy and Faith were married under Laddon, it would be official. Not official like on paper in a human way, but really official like in the high heavenly realms kind of way. He couldn't let this abomination come to be. "Look Buffy, you can't let Spike marry you. Even if captain Peroxide could manage to summon Laddon," Buffy looked straight into Angel's eyes. "Laddon?" She asked simply. She had thought that the drunk off his ass vampire had indeed been telling the truth about Laddon, even as everyone else had thought him to be lying. In fact, now that she thought about it, she felt like she knew this entity already. But where? Then she remembered. When she had died fighting Glory. She had died. Buffy suddenly got flashes of a garden. Robbed guys and peach trees. Chinese paradise? "Buuffyy? Buffy?" Angel shook her now. "Buffy look you can't do this, you can't TRUST HER!" Angel rambled on, but Buffy didn't care. She was thinking about other things. If Laddon was real, anything could happen. For one moment, anything seemed possible, ANYTHING. Buffy even briefly imagined Faith pregnant, then realized Faith would never put up with it, but her…
For a moment, Buffy could almost swear she heard a voice in her head. It didn't use words specifically, but it was definitely talking to her. It seemed to be asking, "Would you do it? Bear a child? Be weak for a while?" She could. Faith would be there to protect her. She smiled. "Yes! I'll do it, I'll bear the pregnancy!" If Angel was live, he would've had a heart attack. "What the hell do you mean pregnancy Buffy?" But the voice was gone. "Nothing." She laughed. "Just making fun of you. Hee Hee Hee." Angel shook his head angrily. "Now," She said. "What did you come down here for?" So Angel told her all about the magical medallion with the power of scrubbing bubbles. Buffy took the medallion and went back to the house.
Back at the house, Buffy and Faith were having sex wonderfully, but Buffy couldn't stop thinking. That voice, the choice, could it be real? She put her hand to Faith's face. Faith raised her head from Buffy's sweet pussy. "What's up B?" Faith smiled as she looked up between her thighs. Buffy put her hand through her dark beautiful hair. "If I was pregnant, would you still love me? Take care of me?" Faith started to react in any way. But Buffy stopped her. "I didn't mean from Angel. I'd never let him touch me now. I love you Faith." Faith smiled at this. "No. I mean, if by some reason, some magical reason, our love making could actually get me pregnant, would you protect me? Be there for me?" Faith smiled wider. "Even if it was me who got pregnant Buffy, you know how I hate giving up my dominance, but I'd do it for you in a heartbeat baby!" Buffy smiled at her. "I think the question was addressed towards me, but thank you, I love you so much!" Buffy pulled in and kissed Faith long and slow. They cuddled together cutely. That's when Mayor Wilkins walked in.