iannetine: I was so used to writing school reports, I think I've lost my touch. Please review, I will be awaiting judgement.

I do not own Prince of Tennis

CHAPTER 4

"It hurts…it hurts when you're not here…"

Fuji closed his eyes in pain. He didn't imagine that being apart for Tezuka too long would be physically painful. His insides were burning and Fuji knew Tezuka was the only one who could make it go away.

He lay in the middle of his large bed, missing what used to fill the empty space. "Where are you…" he asked himself. "Who are you with?" He couldn't sleep with thoughts of betrayal racing in his mind.

And truly for Fuji, being apart with him was more painful in the heart.

"…instead of me…"

"Shusuke. I'm here."

Fuji instantly turned to the source of the voice. He smiled. "Kunimitsu…"

-oOo-

It was a loud ringing that woke Mizuki. He automatically reached for his cell phone on the bedside table. He was expecting a return call from a friend but as he put his phone to his ears, he realized that no one was calling.

It was Fuji's phone that rang loudly in that notorious melody.

"That's right…" Mizuki smiled wickedly. "Poor Fuji-kun…must be a wreck."

Surprisingly, the phone kept on ringing.

Mizuki smirked and laughed to himself. "Mm? Not answering?" He stood up and went outside to observe; rarely can you find entertainment this early in the morning. "You made Fuji angry Tezuka? I don't believe it."

Mizuki could almost foresee the next scenes in this episode. Fuji would get angry at Tezuka, but it wouldn't last for long. He would accept whatever explanation Tezuka gives and forgive him right away. Fuji's too emotionally dependent on Tezuka; he wouldn't last a day without him.

Discovering that Fuji's door was unlocked, Mizuki knocked and let himself in. "Fuji-kun," he called in a singsong voice, "you should answer that."

Walking to the bedroom, Mizuki's eyes widened with shock.

Fuji was in bed apparently, still sleeping. But he had his arm raised, as if reaching for something. He was talking in his sleep.

"What do you mean you don't deserve me anymore Kunimitsu…"

At that, Mizuki spotted Fuji's phone. But before he could reach for it, the call was cancelled.

"Don't go…" Fuji uttered in his sleep, reaching out his arms. "I will save you…"

Fuji looked like he was suffering in his sleep. "I will… save you…"

This made Mizuki worry somehow. "Fuji!" Mizuki shouted.

"Don't go Kunimitsu…" Fuji still whispered. "Don't go…"

"Hey! Wake up!" Mizuki shook him this time. "FUJI!"

At that, Fuji's eyes opened in an instant.

The room was blurry and it circled in his vision. It took a moment for it to focus on the person leaning over him.

"Mizuki!" Fuji shouted. "What are you doing here?" He asked angrily, thinking what kind of a pervert would go sneaking on other people while they sleep. He quickly sat up and moved back, bringing his blankets with him.

Fuji's stared at Mizuki's lack of answer. Mizuki had a shocked face. He had never seen Mizuki this disturbed.

"What happened?" Fuji asked. Mizuki's face made him worry himself.

"Fuji…what did you dream about?" Mizuki's voice had an unusual air of concern.

"I…" Fuji paused and tried to recall, "don't remember."

"Fuji…"

"What?"

"You're…crying."

Fuji touched his cheeks. Indeed, there were tears on his face. He didn't understand, but it was as if at that very second, a part of him died. His heart was sad.

He quickly rubbed them off, embarrassed that he let Mizuki see him like this. "I'm fine Mizuki. Thank you." He said bluntly, giving no more room for the conversation to continue.

"Very well." Mizuki said, but before he left, he spoke of his true purpose. "Tezuka still hasn't come." He said with a hidden smirk as he reminded Fuji of his misery. "Best of luck with your match this afternoon."

"Mizuki!" Fuji stood up and ran after him. "Can you tell me right away if ever you've heard of where he is…" Fuji said, overcoming his shame. "Please."

Mizuki didn't expect Fuji to put down his pride like that. Anything for his precious Kunimitsu eh?

"Of course." Mizuki smiled with air of self-satisfaction. "Anything for you, Fuji-kun."

Mizuki left the despondent Fuji to himself. Mizuki curled his hair with his finger. Everything had gone better than what he had predicted.

Getting out of the room, Mizuki realized he has left out one crucial factor from this scenario.

"The door is open." He said to the person walking towards him. "He needs comforting Saeki-kun."

-oOo-

Saeki knocked and entered. Spotting Fuji on his bed, he silently made his way to the room.

"Hey, are you alright?" Saeki came to him. "What was Mizuki doing here?" He was bothered by Mizuki's welcoming words. The instant Fuji turned his face to greet him however, his previous inquiry left him.

"Saeki!" Fuji's face lit up at the sight of him. Saeki was glad but then…

"Have you found Kunimitsu yet?" Fuji asked desperately. "He called me a few minutes ago but his phone's turned off now." Fuji looked fine, but his actions portrayed otherwise. It seems a few more seconds without Tezuka would send Fuji over the edge of sanity. Honestly, how can someone's absence affect Fuji this much?

Saeki's blood boiled at the mention of Tezuka's name. It was his fault Fuji's like this. "No." he said in slight anger. "The police are doing all they can. They'll inform us when they see him." He answered indifferently. He couldn't care less of what happened with Tezuka. Fuji would be much better off without him.

"Why are you still in bed?" Saeki tried to change the subject. He pulled Fuji's sheets as if motioning him to get up. "Come, let's have breakfast togeth-"

Fuji frowned. The mask that hid Fuji's troubled heart was slowly ebbing away.

"Saeki, should I call their house?"

Saeki looked at Fuji and frowned at his instability. It was like Fuji couldn't function normally if Tezuka wasn't around. Tezuka was a drug, and Fuji was addicted.

"Do you think Tezuka had come home?" Saeki asked.

"What do you think is keeping him then?" Fuji asked, as if he was insulted. "His grandfather found out that we were together and decided to take him away from me…he was the one who answered my call…that's right…he's hiding Kunimitsu from me…"

"Fuji…" was the only thing Saeki could say. Fuji was so pitiful.

"His family knew Saeki!" Fuji told him when he saw that Saeki was far from believing him. "They're hiding Kunimitsu from me!"

Saeki couldn't stand seeing Fuji going crazy like this.

"What if their not?" Saeki told him. "Wouldn't you be causing Tezuka problems later on if they found out Tezuka's missing?"

"But--but…" Fuji stuttered.

"If they weren't, then they'd found out that you and Tezuka were together." Saeki told him, getting impatient. "Or they'll find out about the phone call last night. That Tezuka was with a guy and they were hav-

"NO!" Fuji shouted, remembering the phone call. "Take that back!" Fuji shouted angrily at him. "Kunimitsu wouldn't do that!"

"Either way, you'd have to face it." Saeki said, infuriated that he wasn't reaching Fuji at all. "This relationship needs to end. You wouldn't want to destroy Tezuka's family, would you?" Saeki threatened.

"No Saeki! I will not let that happen to Kunimitsu's family! I will not!" The haze at Fuji's eyes had disappeared. "I will not let him hurt them..." Fuji grew silent "…like what I've done to Yuuta…"

Fuji's words made Saeki remember the day when Fuji vowed to not let Tezuka ruin his own family. That was the night Fuji came home crying because Yuuta had found out that they were together. Yuuta had said hurtful words and Fuji was depressed.

"Fuji? What's wrong? What happened?" Saeki asked when he saw a crestfallen Fuji walk to the sixth floor.

"Yuuta..." Fuji said, his voice was starting to crack and tears were starting to form. Fuji ran to him in despair. "Yuuta found out that we were together...h-he said his friend saw us…he said his classmates made fun of him…Yuuta said it was all my fault…"

Fuji started to cry and Saeki lend him his shoulder.

"He asked me if it was true…He shouted at me Saeki! He said I was dirty…disgusting…My father hates me, and now Yuuta…" Fuji paused, the words stuck in his throat. " Yuuta hates me!" Fuji put his hands to his face.

"That's not true. He just doesn't understand, I'm sure he'll see that someday. " Saeki comforted him. He brushed away Fuji's tears but they never stopped flowing.

"I just couldn't deny that I love Kunimitsu…I just can't…" Fuji cried again.

At that moment, Saeki decided to steal Fuji from Tezuka.

Saeki held him tight. He was surprised that Fuji didn't push him away. Instead, Fuji poured his feelings in his shoulder.

Saeki thought it was the comfort Fuji needed. But then…

"Shusuke?"

At the sight of Tezuka, Fuji cut loose from the embrace and Fuji came running to him in an instant.

"Kunimitsu…" Fuji held on tightly and was now crying more strongly than ever. "I'm dirty and disgusting…Yuuta hates me…Yuuta hates me!"

Tezuka caressed Fuji's hair and just let Fuji cry. "I love you Shusuke. And I'm sure Yuuta loves you too."

Saeki was surprised. This was the first time that he had heard Tezuka say such words. He was amazed that with just those few words from him, Fuji's cries had died down. The tears he was wiping away before had finally stopped flowing.

"I couldn't deny that I love you Kunimitsu…" Fuji said, closing his eyes against Tezuka's chest as if sleeping. Tezuka was barely touching him and yet Fuji seemed calmed.

Saeki didn't understand. Tezuka didn't know the story; he has no idea why Fuji was crying. How could he comfort him, and so easily?

"Thank you Shusuke." Tezuka kissed him on the top of the head. "But we hurt Yuuta, we should apologize."

Tezuka pulled himself from Fuji's embrace. He stepped away to get a clear view of Fuji's face. Fuji became silent as Tezuka searched his eyes. "But do you think I'm dirty? Do you think I'm disgusting for loving you, hn, Shusuke?"

Fuji embraced him instantly, holding tightly as to not let go this time. "No!" Fuji protested angrily at Tezuka's allegations. "You're beautiful Kunimitsu…most beautiful…" he told him, smiling to give him proof.

"But I'd rather be dirty…" Tezuka cupped Fuji's face to look directly at his eyes. "…than deny loving you, Shusuke…"

Saeki didn't understand why Fuji was crying again. All he knew was that Fuji had a smile on his face, along the stream of tears that steadily flowed down his face.

"I won't let that happen!" Fuji told Saeki with conviction. "He risked everything when he loved me so don't ever say that he loves someone else!"

"Must have been for fun huh?" Saeki said under his breath.

"What?" Fuji asked. "Take it back Saeki… Kunimitsu wouldn't-"

"Stop saying his name already!" Saeki shouted.

At that, Fuji's eyes opened in surprise. He turned his back to Saeki, pretending he didn't hear it. "Thank you Saeki. But please go." Fuji said without looking at him.

"No."

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault. Please, just go."

"I love you Fuji."

Fuji turned abruptly when he heard it. "Wha-" He froze; Saeki lay his lips upon him.

-oOo-

Saeki had him pinned down at his bed. Fuji tried to push him away, but he was caught in surprise and was too weak to fight back. Saeki held his wrists and was on top of him.

"Saeki stop!" Fuji pleaded when Saeki drew his tongue from his mouth. "I don't want to hurt you!"

"I can feel," Saeki managed to say while showering kisses on his shoulder and neck. "Your every fiber wanting me… and needing my touch…"

Fuji could only stare as Saeki's hands traced his chest and started going under his shirt. "…welcoming me…"

Realizing the foreign feelings that developed inside him, Fuji tried his hardest to push him away.

Saeki didn't take heed but instead forced another kiss. Fuji's feet dug deep in his sheets and his chest rose and fell rapidly. His kiss felt different, in every way Fuji knew. It was empty, because Saeki was a friend; he couldn't see him as being more than that.

"Why?" Saeki asked when Fuji ceased movement. He stopped fighting back and wasn't responding at all. "Don't you love me?"

"Saeki…" Fuji felt guilty that he didn't notice Saeki's feelings right away. Had he led Saeki to do this? "I'm sorry," Fuji said with sad eyes, "if I ever did something to make you think I love you…"

"Is it him?" Saeki asked, his hatred for Tezuka apparent in his voice. "You can't love me because of him?"

"You don't want to do this." Fuji said simply. He wasn't trying to convince him; it was a declaration of fact.

"I do. I love you and I can't stand seeing you get hurt by him anymore!" Saeki told him seriously. He wasn't going crazy as Fuji hoped. His words were sincere, and of truth. "I love you Fuji, more than he ever can!"

"I can't return your feelings Saeki. The one I love is Kunimitsu." Fuji told him in the same sad voice.

Saeki shook his head in disbelief. "You don't love him!" He tightened his grip on Fuji's wrists. "You only need him for comfort Fuji, and nothing else! I can give you much more than that…"

Fuji was about to protest but Saeki had more to say.

"You can freely talk about your problems with me while you hide them from him. You know he can't accept them and you're afraid he'll reject them! You don't tell him everything…the little things you care about…the things we share…"

Saeki started to smile in the bitterness of it all.

"You're always happy with me while with him, you're sad…" Saeki said, examining his face. "You don't laugh, you don't make jokes. He doesn't appreciate you Fuji… He doesn't care about you… He just uses you to satisfy his needs."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way," Fuji mindlessly disregarded Saeki's accusations. "But Kunimitsu knows more about me than you do."

There was nothing left to say for both of them.

Saeki let go of him and sat by the edge of the bed. Tezuka's name was still ringing in his ears; it was maddening. "I don't regret anything I've done." He said after some thought. "But I do love you. Think about it." He said gravely before starting to leave.

Fuji, still in shock, took a moment to utter a word.

"I'm sorry."

Saeki stopped in his tracks. So that was Fuji's final answer?

"At least there's something I know that Tezuka doesn't." Saeki gave a little laugh and finally closed the door.

Fuji followed Saeki's gaze from a moment before. The trash can was empty except for one certain object.

A white heart shaped stone.

-oOo-

"Can I wish…that he keep his promise?" Fuji stared at the magical stone. His match would start soon and Tezuka was still nowhere to be found. He wasn't in the proper condition to play, but he believed that if he did, Tezuka would come. His promise was the only thing Fuji was holding on to.

Fuji sat by a bench, overlooking the crowd. He waited there the whole morning, but Tezuka hasn't come.

Everything would be clear once he sees him. Tezuka would be able to explain the phone call; he'd be able to tell him what he was doing, tell him exactly where he'd been and who he was with. Tezuka wasn't cheating.

Unlike him.

Him who was kissed by someone else on the same bed where Tezuka made love to him. Him who had been weak and wasn't able to defend himself from being laid hands on. Him who had been unwise enough to not foresee this tragedy.

Him who fell victim of his own longings and delighted in someone else's warmth.

I can feel… your every fiber wanting me… needing my touch… welcoming me…

If Saeki hadn't mentioned it, would he still have stopped him? Or would he have given in? Deep inside, had he wanted it to happen?

"I am," he said closing his eyes, remembering Yuuta's face as he said it, "disgusting".

As he opened his eyes, he saw two feet in the ground. He quickly looked up, expecting to see Tezuka.

"Fuji."

Fuji was surprised to see a Tachibana Kippei standing in front of him.

"Tachibana-san."

Tachibana sat beside him. Fuji had bumped to a lot of tennis players from middle school since he entered this university, Saeki and Mizuki were such. It was expected, because the university has a strong reputation in tennis.

"We're about to start." Tachibana told him. "Aren't you coming?"

Fuji didn't get up. "I think I'll wait for Kunimitsu some more."

Fuji noticed that Tachibana's eyes opened slightly. He smiled. "It's alright. It's true."

Tachibana looked at him. Fuji could tell he didn't expect it to be so.

It took a moment for Tachibana to sink in. "Since middle school?" He asked, remembering the times where he saw Tezuka and Fuji together.

"No." Fuji told him. "Just last year."

Tachibana had always respected Tezuka's stature as a person. Tachibana admired Tezuka's passion for tennis. He could see the similarities they share. Back in middle school, he considered Tezuka as a captain that rivaled himself.

When he first heard about it, he couldn't believe it was true. It was impossible; Tezuka, in a relationship with a man? But he was more surprised when he heard that it was Fuji Shusuke who was Tezuka's lover.

"How is he?" Tachibana asked just for the sake of it. It took a while for him to recover from his shock.

"He's late."

"But he's coming for you, isn't he?" Tachibana asked, trying to cheer him up.

Tachibana had waited for this match for a long time. Most of the players he knew from middle school has already quit the sport and only few of the best players really stuck with it. He'd been waiting to face someone who would give him a challenge.

"He promised." Fuji answered. He looked at the dark sky that seemed to reflect his feelings. "But I'm not sure anymore."

-oOo-

"Let's have a good match." Tachibana said as they shook hands. He noticed that Fuji concentration wasn't in the match.

"U-um." Fuji greeted back, his eyes scanning the bleachers once more.

Tachibana served. Fuji couldn't return it; he didn't even hit the ball. Within the minute, Tachibana had another 3 service aces. It was quite disappointing for Tachibana that Fuji could not get one in; the Fuji Tachibana knew could return serves much difficult than this.

"Where are you…" Tachibana heard Fuji say when they changed courts.

Tachibana didn't mind it and still played his hundred percent. But it was frustrating that Fuji wasn't in the game at all. He kept making mistakes. Getting a point was not a challenge at all. Fuji's hits looks as though he didn't even want to get the point. It looked like Fuji wasn't aiming for a win.

Fuji lacked concentration; Tachibana could see that much. He noticed that even the slightest mention of Tezuka's name from the crowd distracts Fuji. Fuji kept looking in the entrance and scanning the bleachers.

"Five to love"

The game was too one-sided that the crowd had concluded that Fuji was ill. The crowd gasped as Fuji fell on the ground. Fuji was so far-flung from the game that he didn't notice the ball flying towards his knee.

Fuji stayed on the ground. The audience felt pity seeing his watery eyes, but they didn't know that it wasn't caused by the pain of the hit. It was a depressing sight, seeing Fuji sit blankly on a bench as a medic examined his knee.

"Your knee's fine."

"Shall I forfeit?" Fuji asked, not paying attention to what the examiner said. There was no point in playing the match, winning, and entering the tournament when Tezuka wasn't watching.

"Fuji, are you alright?" Tachibana went to him. His worries disappeared when he saw Fuji's knee was fine.

"I'm sorry," Fuji looked up to Tachibana. "But can I forfeit?"

"What?" Tachibana asked in surprise. Ever since the game started, he was disappointed that Fuji wasn't playing him seriously. But a forfeit at this stage was a greater insult.

Fuji looked to the crowd again, he gave a sigh and gave up completely. Tezuka broke his promise. "Kunimitsu hasn't come for me."

Tachibana was thrilled when he knew that he would be playing Fuji. Now, he shook his head in disappointment. He knew all along that Fuji wasn't playing seriously because of Tezuka.

"Fine." Tachibana said, slightly angry. "To think that I'm not even worth a serious game from you."

"It's not like that…" Fuji said, feeling guilty of offending Tachibana. "It's just that I'm too worried about why Kunimitsu isn't here…" Fuji was getting the feeling something bad really happened to him.

"It was good that Tezuka isn't here," Tachibana told him, putting his racket in his shoulder and walking away. "-to see you lose so miserably."

The remark struck Fuji. Is it true?

"I feel so sorry for him." Tachibana told him. "Tezuka always had his heart in the game. But he disliked quitters most of all."

Fuji's teary eyes suddenly went sharp. "I am NOT a quitter." Fuji said, his blood starting to boil.

"What would Tezuka do when he finds out you were quitting because of him?"

His grip on his racket tightened. Could it be? Tezuka wasn't there because he wasn't playing seriously?

"Fuji Shusuke is forfeiting." Tachibana told the umpire. Everyone had started to get curious at how bad Fuji's injury was. Everyone was expecting a great game. Who knew that it would end in a forfeit?

"We'll finish this."

Fuji stood up abruptly, sending the crowd cheering for support. Fuji went back to the court, his steps angry and focused. His eyes glinted when he passed Tachibana. "I am not a quitter."

As Fuji served the ball, everyone noticed the change in the atmosphere.

The tensai has appeared.

The gap between their scores shrunk smaller as Fuji scored points one after the other. He hit counters repeatedly. It was as though the wind blew in Fuji's rage. Within minutes, the game had reached tie-break.

Fuji smiled like devil as he glared at Tachibana once more.

Breathing heavily, Tachibana positioned himself at the court. He really wanted to play Fuji seriously but he didn't expect it to be in this terms. It seemed his comment earlier had sent Fuji to a mad rush of adrenaline. Fuji was unstoppable.

"Is this all because of Tezuka?" As Tachibana wondered, a speeding ball landed near his foot. At that point, it became apparent to him that he would lose this game in the next serve. Fuji drove him to his physical and mental limit. The tensai was serious.

Fuji got in position ready to serve the next ball. One more point and the game was his. "Ready?" Fuji asked, raring to finish the match.

Fuji threw the ball in the air.

"FUJI!"

The ball dropped to the grass as the silence was broken. Irritated audiences scowled at the disturbance and the umpire called for silence. There were boos in the crowd as Mizuki entered the court.

"Step outside the court Mizuki." Fuji seemed too focused on the game that he didn't notice Mizuki's frightened face. "I'm finishing this."

"What's going on?" Tachibana ran to them. "What are you doing here Mizuki?"

"Fuji," Mizuki panted. He held Fuji's wrist to make sure that he was listening. "Tezuka's been shot."

"What?" Fuji's racket slipped from his hand.

Mizuki avoided his eyes; he didn't wish to repeat it.

"Ha ha," Fuji laughed. "Stop joking around Mizuki." He stopped laughing all of a sudden. "It's not funny." Fuji picked up his racket again.

"He's been shot this morning." Mizuki explained. "Tezuka's in a coma, Fuji"

"This morning?" Fuji laughed. "Impossible." Tezuka called his cell phone this morning. "You lie."

Mizuki was still avoiding his eyes. Tachibana had his head back down.

Fuji looked around him. Suddenly everything had become quiet. He can see people shouting in annoyance, curious people talking and the tennis officials fussing over them. He could also see Saeki in a hurry, rushing toward him in the distance. But strangely, it had gone quiet.

The dark clouds seemed to cry the tears Fuji couldn't shed.

-oOo-

Fuji laid his head on his beloved's shoulder. His breathing slowly steadied in the silence. With all power drained from his body, he could only muster to lift his eyelids.

What greeted him was Tezuka's loving gaze. Fuji treasured it most. Tezuka always looked at him as if he were a goddess of beauty, his usually cold eyes declaring eternal adoration and worship.

He blushed, feeling unworthy of Tezuka's stares. His face was glistened with sweat, his hair in disarray and his lips swollen. He must look horrible.

Fuji could only gaze back in silence as Tezuka's hands traced the outlines of his face, a finger daintily pushing back a lock of hair that covered his eyes. Tezuka's thumb brushed his lips gently, slightly parting his lips. A finger stroked the flesh under his chin made him lift his head.

And as Tezuka lowered himself gently, Fuji closed his eyes expectedly. Tezuka kissed him…as if it were their last.

As it ended, Tezuka leaned his forehead to Fuji's, caressing the back of Fuji's head with his fingers.

"I wanted this night to be perfect for you."

Fuji inhaled Tezuka's warm breath. The kiss had finally drained all Fuji's energy so his smile didn't stay on his face for too long. "Mmm." His lips vibrated in Tezuka's cheek.

Tezuka ran his hands to Fuji's arms. Reaching the ends, Tezuka pulled Fuji's hands to his lips and kissed each finger softly before bringing them back to Fuji's chest. Fuji closed his eyes as Tezuka kissed his eyelids. He could not open them and so Fuji handed himself to sleep.

"I won't be here when you wake up." Tezuka whispered to his eyes.

Fuji's eyes shot open wide, full of alarm and shock. The fears Tezuka kissed away came back to him suddenly. His scared eyes looked at Tezuka in question.

"I don't deserve you anymore."

Fuji didn't understand. Why is Tezuka saying this…after making love to him so beautifully?

His hands firmly held Tezuka's cheek, pushing him away to look at his face. He could not believe what Tezuka was saying.

"What do you mean you don't deserve me anymore Kunimitsu…" He asked, his heart getting torn apart in pieces as Tezuka couldn't look at him anymore. His eyes danced, looking for the answer in Tezuka's face.

"I'm doing this for you."

At that moment, everything seemed to be engulfed in darkness. Fuji instinctively reached for Tezuka, who started to disappear into nothingness.

"I can't stay. You can't save me Shusuke."

"Don't go…" Fuji's breathed, his voice small in his own ears. "I will save you…"

He felt himself getting pulled away from Tezuka. Stretching his hands for a final reach, Fuji stroked his face just before Tezuka disappeared.

"I will…" he whispered, in a dying breath. "…save you…"