When they had finished their goodbyes, Admiral Chegwidden stepped up to the video system and waited to be told they had switched to the JAG office. "Sir, Colonel Mackenzie has arranged for you to speak to your daughter first," Rushford told him.
'Oh, Sarah, thank you!' he thought as he heard Francesca's voice, "Papa? Why?"
"There is too much to explain right now, my dear, just know that I love you and regret that we didn't have more time to spend together."
"Ciao, Papa, I love you!"
"Ciao, daughter, I love you, too."
AJ was then connected to the JAG office. His vision was gone, he couldn't see the people he was talking to, and so he called them by name to say his goodbyes. "Jennifer, keep up the good work, and let Admiral Morris..."
"…finish a sentence, Sir?" she said meekly.
"Yes, Jennifer," he said with an indulgent grin.
"Okay, Sir," she said with a quiver in her voice.
"Sturgis, it was good getting to know you, please tell your father goodbye for me. Would you give him the cannon from my desk?"
"I will, Sir, it was an honor and a privilege serving with you," he nodded and stepped aside.
"Harm, what can I say? It's been a roller coaster ride with you, but one I wouldn't have missed."
"Nor I, Sir, you will be sorely missed."
"Bud, if a man could choose his son, I would have picked you. Take care of your wonderful family."
"Yes, Sir," he said sadly. "Having you as the inspiration in my life has made me a better man. No one could have had a better role model…" choking up, Bud couldn't say anymore so he just saluted.
"AJ, they won't have to call you 'little' anymore, son, you'll be the only one. Make me proud of you."
"Thank you for my birfday present, I liked it! Bye Admiral AJ," he saluted. The Admiral, knowing that his namesake always saluted when he said goodbye, saluted back, even though he couldn't see him.
"Harriett, you are as dear to me as my own daughter. Will you do two things for me?"
"Of course, Sir."
He continued, "Keep the baseball on my desk for AJ when he gets older, and," motioning her closer to the camera, he said softly, "take care of Mac for me."
Understanding dawned in her eyes and Harriett said, "I will, Sir. Thank you for our son, we will never let him forget you. I love you, Sir!" she was crying too hard to go on.
"Mommy, why is Admiral AJ going to die?" he asked with tears in his eyes.
"Because he is the bravest man in the world and loves his country very much," she explained.
"Thank you so much for thinking of Francesca, it meant a lot to be able to say goodbye to her as well. Sarah, your smile always brightened my day, I wish I could see it one more time."
Attempting to smile Sarah said, "I will miss you more than I can say, Sir."
"I would like you to take Dammit for me, I know how much you have missed Jingo since Chloe took him with her."
"Gladly, Sir, I'll take her with me jogging in the park every day, so she has some space.
"No need of that, Sarah, I have left you my house."
"Sir?" Mac asked incredulously.
Having heard that, Harriett knew her suspicions had been right all along, he loved Mac and wanted to say a final goodbye, "Let's give them a moment alone," she said, motioning for the others to follow her.
Knowing they were now alone, AJ said, "Sarah…I'm sorry that I couldn't return your feelings this morning, but I knew how cruel it would be, knowing that this was coming. I couldn't do that to you."
Almost blinded by her tears, "I knew when you kissed me that you loved me, I just didn't understand why you couldn't tell me since you were leaving the Navy. I won't ask why you volunteered, because I know the man that you are, and that makes it obvious. But there is one thing that I would like to ask you…"
With a sincerity that is only found in true love, he said, "Anything, Sarah, anything."
"Please say it…" she looked to his eyes, lost in their depth, "just once…"
Though they were miles away, he could feel her gaze, as though she was right there, with her arms wrapped around him, "I love you, my beautiful Sarah. Forever and always."
"Oh AJ," the tears were streaming down her face, "I will love you forever."
"Forever and always," he whispered to her as he switched off the camera.
AJ sat down on the floor. Opening his wallet, he took out a picture of her that he had carried for years. He had always kept it hidden behind his Navy ID so it wouldn't be seen by anyone if he were to open his wallet. He knew the picture by heart, and even though he couldn't see it, he caressed her face with his thumb. "Sarah," he whispered. AJ bit down on the capsule, the shock of the cyanide entering his system cleared his vision. He died looking at her beautiful face.
They had removed the twelve bodies from the lab and taken them to the morgue when Bud went to AJ's safe and pulled out the packet the Admiral had shown him years ago. Opening it, he began to make the arrangements requested.
When Adele and Francesca arrived for AJ's funeral, Bud gave them their letters. He had given Mac hers the day AJ died.
Sarah had waited until she was alone to read:
May 14, 2004
Dearest Sarah,
If you are reading this, then I am dead. I had known it was coming for sometime so was able to prepare. Five years ago I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, this morning, I was told it had started growing, and soon I would no longer be myself. So, I am going away. I don't want to be a burden on those I love.
I could never speak of my love for you while I was alive, but it was strong and true. I know how saddened you were when you could not conceive a child so to that end I have made arrangements for a vial of my sperm to be frozen for your use alone, should you decide to use it. I have provided for you whether or not you choose to have our child. I love you, Sarah, and have since that first day in my office.
Bud should have also given you a CD that has a song on it that says better than I could how I feel about you. The song is, 'To Where You Are'.
All my love,
AJ
She put the CD in her player and listened to the breathtaking words:
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above
Chorus:
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me
From up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on
And never leave
Chorus
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Chaplain Turner conducted a moving graveside service. No one could understand why Sarah wore a gentle smile throughout the entire service. She was carrying a precious secret under her heart.
The End