Edward was staring deeply into my eyes. His were intense. They were full of emotions that I'm sure mere words could never convey. I painfully broke my gaze with his eyes to focus on his full lips. As I did so they turned up into that smile that made my heart stutter and my knees weak. I felt my knees give way and braced myself for the hard ground below, but I felt his arms wrap protectively around my waist.

Edward stopped me from falling.

He lifted his hand to my face and brushed away the hair that had fallen into my eyes.

"I want you see you." He whispered in my ear.

Soon my skin was covered in goose bumps in response to his breath on my face. I soaked up his scent, committing it to memory. And then, it happened. His head tilted down and I could feel him coming closer to my lips. I wanted it. I wanted to drown in his kisses. Our foreheads were touching when he spoke again.

"Bella," he said. But it wasn't the smooth sexy voice that I wanted to hear. In fact it was downright shrill.

"Bella," he called again. Why can't my stupid dreams get his voice right! He sounded like a little girl.

Then he was shaking my shoulders, jostling me around like a rag doll. Well! Way to ruin the moment Edward.

I slowly opened my eyes only to be confronted by an overexcited Alice, not an overtly sexy Edward.

"Dammit Alice!" I groaned, pulling my pillow over my head. Maybe if I could do back to sleep right away the dream would just pick up where it left off.

"Get up lazy ass!" Alice laughed pulling the pillow away from me, and pulling the covers off my bed. "We have a lunch date!"

Must. Not. Kill. Alice.

Alice danced over to the window and pulled the curtains aside letting in the blinding sunlight. Then she ran back over to my bed and started bouncing up and down knowing that every movement was further infuriating me.

"Lunch date?" It came out more of a growl than I expected it too. Good. That way she knows what she's up against.

"Yes," she replied calmly, not seeming to notice I was about one second away from physically wiping that smug smirk off her face for good. "I called a few people to tell them that you had some good news to announce. We're meeting at Junior's at 1:30, which means you have exactly one hour to get yourself decent."

Leave it to Alice to plan a whole event around the divulging of my good news.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I'll do this. But who did you invite to this little shin-dig?"

"Oh just our closest friends. Your dear brother Emmett insisted on bringing this woman he met last month, and I'm sure Mike and Angela will be there."

I thought that through. If I told Emmett now, then there would be no clubbing required. That thought alone cheered me considerably.

"By the way Bella, we'll have to go shopping for your Saturday meeting with the hottest man on earth. So make sure you have time for that."

Her shopping plans jogged my memory. Dangit. I forgot to divulge one essential piece of information from that phone call last night. Might as well get it over with.

"Alice, I have to tell you something." It was never good when I started a sentence with those words.

Her eyes grew three times as big as they are normally, and her face looked apprehensive as I plotted out how to say this without causing her go extreme. I could not survive an 'Alice Brandon day of beauty' again. Alice could definitely make me look better, but would four days be enough time for her to work her magic? Would my nose be back to normal by then?

"I might have skipped over one tiny little detail of my phone conversation with the director."

"What!" Damn. This was the reaction I was afraid of. "What did you do- no. What did you say? Oh God, was it like the day with Brad Pitt?"

Of course Alice would come up with the worst case scenario. I don't think it will ever be as bad as the Brad Pitt debacle. Around any mildly attractive man, my IQ drops into the negative digits. It didn't matter if the man was the nicest, most down to earth man on the planet. It didn't matter if I already had a boyfriend. I would always open my mouth and insane things came out. It was exasperating! For instance, my first week in the city I was wandering through Times Square. Somehow, I still don't understand quite how it happened, I slipped through some barricades and ended up on a movie set. Of course I had no idea and I was looking for Alice… Then I rammed into him. I knocked him down. To the ground. It was the single most humiliating moment of my life. Right up until the moment that followed. As I reached down to help him to his feet I felt my mouth open.

"I'm from Forks!" I screamed. Into his face. Yes. I actually said that. To Brad Pitt. Needless to say, I was mortified beyond belief. Many days I have pondered why those specific words decided to make their appearance at that second in time. But, sadly, there is no explanation. It makes sense that Alice would be worried about what I said to Edward Cullen.

"No! It wasn't a hott man fiasco. But considering I did 'pull a Bella' yesterday and get hit in the face and water dumped all over me…. Well. He just… wants me to look the part."

"And…"

"And he would like for me to be more attractive by Saturday."

"And…" She was smiling widely now.

"And that is the one stipulation for me getting the role."

"And…" That damn Cheshire cat.

"And I need your help obviously." The words were almost indistinguishable through my gritted teeth. But Alice understood. She had all along. I think she wanted me to beg.

The bouncing commenced once again.

"Oh finally!" She all but sang into my ear. "I knew you'd come around eventually! Ok, here's the plan. We go to lunch, meet Emmett's secret girlfriend, yada yada yada… and then we shop!"

"Sounds great." Oh boy. A whole day of Saks, Macy's, and every tiny boutique in SoHo. I was overjoyed.

"Now get out of my room so I can mentally prepare myself for a whole day of shopping with you." Alice wasn't quite finished with her planning as I ever so gently shoved her towards the door.

"But Bella, tomorrow we'll have to get your hair done. If Paulo can't get you in then I guess I'll just have to do it myself. Then we'll need to go to the spa and get you good and waxed. It's been way too long Bells. Also, the Estee Lauder women at Macy's can probably tell us how to cover that bruise on your nose…"

It was a little harsh, but I slammed the door in her face.

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Forty-five minutes later we were out the door and headed towards Junior's. I was dressed a little too causally for Alice's taste. Dark jeans and an ivory sweater and my favorite black Steve Madden flats. I told her to make her peace with it because the rest of the week I was sure to be strutting around town in ridiculous get-ups that weren't at all me.

That shut her up.

Alice, in true Alice fashion, looked as if she walked right off the catwalk. She refused to wear a jacket over her "killer new Vintage Chanel" silk dress. She found it in a Vintage store in SoHo and thought it was fate. "The pink color goes perfect with my skin, and the high collar is in for the winter," Alice had tried to explain when I flipped out over the hefty price tag for her new purchase. It was sleeveless, and it was December in New York. She must have a death wish. Or a flu wish. Oh well, nothing stands in the way of this woman and her fashion.

As we strutted down the street laughing at a memory of a particularly nasty fall I once had in the city, I spotted the restaurant. It was my absolute favorite. Junior's was the very first place I ever ate in the city. I had moved here one week after Graduation, my only motivation was to get as far away from Jacob as humanly possible. Alice was originally from Albany, before she moved to Forks in high school, and brought me to Junior's after I saw my first play on Broadway. I had seen many shows, just never in New York. There was an unnatural high I received from being in the place where all this magic had happened for years. Then I went to this incredibly local restaurant and ate the biggest piece of cheesecake known to man. It was a day that I would never forget. I felt a weird sense of nostalgia walking back through the doors almost exactly one year later, but just as elated as I was that first day.

I quickly spotted Emmett even though he was sitting with his back to me. He was quite possibly the biggest non-body builder I had ever encountered. It didn't make sense that we were related at all. Emmett was outgoing, extremely good looking, and carried around an almost sinful self-confidence. I was shy, not much to look at, and had as much self-confidence as a shrub. But hopefully things would change in the confidence department. After all, I had the lead in a Broadway show! The back of the girl sitting next to him was strangely familiar as well. She was blond, and obviously liked the way she looked. Her clothes were practically painted on. It's Emmett. That makes sense.

Then I noticed Ben, Mike, and Angela, on the side of the table facing us, waving us over. I walked up to the table with Alice in tow, but when I reached it I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Rose?!" I screeched.

"Bella?" She replied back, just as shocked.

"Emmett…" we said in unison, both turning to smile at him.

"You're his infamous sister?"

"You're his secret girlfriend?"

We started laughing as we scanned the table and took in everyone's looks of confusion.

"This is too much! Alice, do you remember me telling you about the girl who hit me in the face?" I turned to Alice, who was a big believer in fate, and wasn't surprised to see she was already enveloping Rose in a hug from behind her.

"Finally! A friend who can help me make over Bella!"

I cringed. She was way too excited by that possibility.

"Wait, wait wait. Hold on a second. You two know each other?" Emmett's booming voice was heard above all the commotion. He was looking at us quizzically.

We both nodded, still chucking at the odds.

"And Rose hit you in the face?!" He was angry now. No-one in the room missed that. He was up from his chair in a second, and then he was in my face poking at the bruises there.

"No! Em, it was an accident. We met at an audition, and she hit me with the door. It's more my fault really." I was laughing in earnest now, pondering the situation. It really was funny how I managed to get myself in these predicaments.

"Yeah!" Rose laughed. "She heard me bomb my audition and then and went and did hers perfect even with her nose all jacked up!"

"Then we went out for coffee and now she's your secret girlfriend!"

Emmett scowled.

"She's not a secret girlfriend. She is my girlfriend that I have been wanting you to meet for a month now." Oh, that's right. He had tried to get me to go out with them several times. But I had no intention of sitting in close proximity to Emmett and some trashy girl making out. This was a pleasant surprise.

"Well we've already met." I announced, going to sit next to Rose at the end of the table.

Alice was overjoyed. I could tell she already planned on Rose helping with the rest of the days' activities because she had an evil glint in her eye.

"I'm Alice," she said, holding her hand out to Rose. I thought that was strange since she had already molested her with a hug, but conceded that it was just Alice's backwards way of doing things.

"Rosalie," Rose said, taking her hand. She was nothing like the girl I had first perceived her as. I could tell she and Alice would be friends for a lifetime.

Emmett huffed and took his seat again as I turned to the happy couple to my left.

"How are you guys?" I usually addressed this couple as one entity, since I had never seen them apart. Angela answered for the two.

"We're great! Mike just got a gig playing piano for some jazz club uptown, and I got a temp job at a law office."

Angela and Mike were some of my best friends. We met at the equity office several months back. I was having trouble filling out all the paperwork it took for you to be counted as equity, and Angela offered to help me. Turns out she and Mike had just moved to the city to try for their big break, and they were trying to get equity as well. All New York actors know that you live and die by equity. And I do mean that quite literally. They got you health insurance, jobs, life insurance, and all that good stuff. We ended up hitting it off right away. They were the first friends I had made in the city.

"And Ben, I haven't seen you in forever! What's new with you man?!" I looked over at Ben who was sitting at the table quietly.

"I'm good. I just got a job at this little publishing house that is just getting up and running. I'll be doing a little editing for the Post on the side for a while. A guy's gotta eat," he said that last part defensively. He knew we all hated the Post. They give the most vicious reviews you think of. You don't even want a good mention in the Post, because people will skim it over and clump you with a bad review.

I liked Ben. He always was so sensitive. Since Ben was a writer we had always gotten along really well. I was secretly hoping he would write me a play someday. We met on the opening night of a David Ives play on Broadway. We were both waiting in line the whole day together, so naturally, conversation happened. We've been friends ever since.

"No, that's awesome Ben. The Post critics might be bitches, but it's a great paper!" Ben, sneaked a look at the couple who were now embracing gently. His brow furrowed. I knew how he felt. I was cynical about all things to do with love. Sometimes, although I loved them, their lovey-dovey, ooey-gooey crap made me want to slap them. I resisted the urge.

"Bells, would you like to tell me the story about you and Rosie." I saw Rose elbow Emmett in the side at the word "Rosie". Guess she didn't like her nickname. That made me smile.

"I told you Em, we met at a cattle call for a new musical. She was in line right before me, and I leaned my head against the door to hear her audition. But she barreled out of the room like a bat out of hell and the door knocked me out cold."

"Oh Emmy-bear it was so funny! You told me your sister was klutzy but I had no idea that this Bella was your sister. That's hysterical." Emmy-bear? She was definitely making up for his "Rosie" incident quickly. This girl had my brother whipped. He only flinched as his ultra-macho name.

"Then we went out to coffee and Rose took me to the doctor to see about my nose."

"Bella, I wasn't even going to ask. Half the times I see you you're bandaged or on crutches or something. I for one am not at all surprised," Mike laughed.

"Ha ha. It's not international pick on Bella day, so keep your comments to yourself lover-boy." Angela blushed at my comment and that made me wonder about their relationship. It was usually pretty rocky. Even though they had been together two years, it seemed like they broke up at least twelve times since I had been friends with them.

"Emmett, how long have you and Rosalie been dating?" Alice questioned them. I could tell she was excited about their relationship. Hell, I was excited about their relationship! The fact that Emmett had been seeing one woman long enough to bring her to lunch with his sister was blowing my mind.

"Well," Emmett started shifting in his seat, but Rose reassuringly grabbed his hand that was resting on top of the table. I loved them together already. He flashed her a smile and continued. "She came to my club about three months ago and these guys were giving her a hard time, so I saved her. And we've been together ever since."

Rose quickly elbowed him again and I could tell that maybe his version of the events was slightly embellished.

"Em's right, the guys were all over me. And he was on his way over to pull them off when he saw me slug one of the pretentious bastards. He asked me out for two months before I ever said yes." She flashed us a huge smile, proud of being the one woman who apparently made Emmett grovel.

"So Alice…what are you up to these days?" Angela hedged, taking the tension away from the shame of Emmett's exaggeration.

"I'm just free lancing right now, but I hope to do some costume design soon. It's something I never realized I was interested in until Bella here got her great news." She raised her eyebrows at me, effectively forcing me into recounting my story.

"What news?" Angela turned to meet my red face in a flash, as did the rest of the table.

"Ok. Don't freak out, but Alice invited you guys here because something really incredible happened yesterday. After my horrendous audition-"

Cough. "Liar." Cough. Rosalie was already picking up on my self-confidence issues.

"Fine. After my fabulous," I sneered the word at Rose, "audition yesterday, the director called and told me I had the part."

Silence. As silent as the grave. It seemed the whole restaurant had secretly been listening to our conversation, and they were silent as well.

My mind was screaming. Of course they're shocked Bella! You've never been the lead in anything before! If I was being honest, they probably thought I had finally cracked up and were wondering what home for the insane would be right for me.

Then, as if on cue, Emmett started clapping. The slow clap.

Mind you, we are in a restaurant. Full of people. Strangers, no doubt, but still, they are people, with ears.

All the occupants of the table were clapping as loudly as I'd ever heard. In fact, my right ear was going partially deaf due to Emmett's pounding.

Then they were yelling. All at once there was laughter, and tears, and screaming. All the lunch-goers thought we'd all lost it I'm sure.

I soon found myself in the center of a cliché group hug full of my closest friends.

"Bells you did it!"

"So proud of you sis!"

"I told you the director loved you!"

"This is incredible!"

Choruses of congratulations were swarming about, and I was overwhelmed.

"Thanks guys," I cried, "but let's sit down. We're making a scene."

Everyone laughed and returned to their respective seats. I looked expectantly at Rose, worried that this might upset her. After all, I got the part that she wanted.

"Don't look at me like that Bella. I'm in the chorus. We'll be working together."

Inwardly I let out a huge breath I wasn't aware I was holding. That meant that I would at least have one friendly face when I started this thing.

"What's the show sis?" Emmett appeared to be reverting back to his childhood. He was smiling so widely that his dimples were on display, and his cheeks were flushed with the kind of excitement he used to show on Christmas mornings.

"It's a Shakespeare poem, Venus and Adonis, but modernized, and set to music. The script is in Elizabethan English, and it's got almost all the original text, but since the poem is so short, a lot of dialogue had to be added. The writer was at auditions."

"Wow that sounds really interesting. I've read the poem. You're playing Venus?" Angela questioned.

I blushed. Obviously a few people at the table were familiar with the poem. And I'm sure that they thought it as odd as I did that I was chosen to play Venus.

"Yeah… it ought to be challenge." I was hinting to Alice that it was going to be more than a challenge (next to impossible) to make me into the Greek goddess of love, but she returned my subtle hint with an endearing smile.

I was accosted with a never-ending stream of questions for two more hours. When do rehearsals start? Who is my co-star? In what theatre will it show? Who is my director? (All the girls squealed when I mentioned my angel, Edward Cullen. I just got butterflies attacking my stomach.) Will there be a lot of dancing in the show? Who are the producers? Most of the questions I conceded to not have the answers to yet. After all, most of that would be taken care of on Saturday.

Saturday… I did not have time to fret about that just yet. I had more pressing matters at hand. Once Alice mentioned our little shopping excursion after lunch, Rose and Angela both jumped on board. That meant that there would be three pairs of eager hands clawing at me for hours on end. Emmett laughed at the horrified expression on my face, and I vowed to give him a taste of his own medicine sometime in the near future.

Soon I was hugging everyone and being drug out into the streets of Manhattan for what was sure to be one adventurous day for me.

But somewhere in the back of my mind there was a little voice that was not opposed to my "New and Improved Bella Image."

That voice was the voice that assured me Edward would like the "New and Improved Bella."

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"Just SHUT UP and try it on!" Alice squawked through the dressing room door. Guessing she was a little fed up with my surly attitude I tugged the tiny garment over my head.

"I don't even know how this thing goes on!" I mumbled obscenities as I tried to force my head through the arm-hole, yet again. This was my fifth attempt to try on the same dress. "It. Won't. Work." I snarled at the crew waiting for me beyond the door. Practically in tears, I ripped the dress off over my head, grabbed the hanger, and sent it flying over the door. There was an "ouch" as the hanger made contact with someone's head. At the moment, I was too frustrated to care. That is, until Rose's voice bellowed throughout the department store.

"Bella. I am sick and tired of your bitching. The next thing you try on will be your outfit. You will like it. You will smile and let Alice pay for it. You will look sexy. And you will shut up. And then I will have myself a stiff drink. Have I made myself clear?"

Alice sighed and grumbled at Rose's demands. She was clearly upset that this announcement meant the end of shopping day. I wasn't. A little afraid of Rose's tone, I quickly hurried to put on the next dress, when I heard Angela's stifled laughter. Then I lost it. Quickly succumbing to a giggling fit, I slunk down to the floor in my underwear and my dress only half-way on. Alice threw open the door only to crack up at the sight. Next thing you know we are all on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Sorry," Rose choked out, "I just get a little too domineering sometimes."

"It's fine. I'm used to it! Have you met my best friend Alice?" I glanced mischievously in her direction and saw the reaction I was going for. She was much too easy to provoke.

"Hey!!!" Alice demanded. "I don't ever yell at you! Or make you do anything you don't want to."

"Ha! May I remind you of one incident of a thousand? Let's see… how about the time you forced me to get a bra fitting with that lesbian?"

"Well… I don't yell!" She replied emphatically. "I just firmly share on opinion on the matter at hand. And to clarify, Sherry was still questioning her sexuality at the time. How was I supposed to know she would feel you up?"

"Yeah, I didn't complain too much. It was the most action I'd seen all year."

This sent everyone roaring again.

"You made her get a bra fitting from a lesbian?" Rose guffawed.

"Uh-huh! I actually thought I'd never get her to step foot inside a department store ever again."

"That's horrible!" Angela cried, but the tears falling down her face reminded me that her comment couldn't be that sincere.

"If you saw the position her girls were in you would have done the exact same thing."

Rising from the floor I looked at my friends and smiled. Then I decided that giving Alice free reign wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would definitely make her happy.

"Ali," I sighed. "Just pick out whatever you want, not anything slutty, and I promise I'll wear it. I'm raising the white flag. Do with me what you will."

"Thanks Bells!"

In a flash she had grabbed Rose by the hand and took off finding everything in the store that was my size and throwing it at Rose. I suppressed a groan. After all, I had given her permission. Angela sidled up next to me near the cash registers while I watched the hilarity ensue. She put her arm around me and sighed.

"Those two are really made for each other huh?" She indicated Rose and Alice.

"Yeah." I snorted. "I'm pretty sure that they're the long lost twin daughters of Coco Chanel."

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, you know that."

"Well, it's just that…I think Mike is going to propose soon. I know we've been kinda rocky in the past, but we've been together a really long time. And lately everything has been so good. We talked about children a couple of nights ago." I grinned, knowing that it was Angela's dream to have a house full of children. "I have this hunch that it will be soon."

"That's awesome! I am so excited for you guys!"

"Do you think you could, I don't know, hint to him as to the type of ring I might like. I'm not like Alice or anything. It doesn't have to be extravagant. Mike is just horrible at things like that, and I know that you and I have similar tastes."

"Of course Ang. You can count on me. I know that Mike is pretty dense."

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An hour later I trudged through the door of my apartment bogged down with weight of my new wardrobe.

Stumbling to my room, I threw down all the clothes into a heap by the door. I would have plenty of time to sort through them later. Fully dressed I flung myself into my bed without a second thought. I found solace in the fact that Angela, Alice, and Rose had gone out drinking. That meant there would be no fashion show this evening. They asked me to go, but I simply couldn't will my legs to take another step, much less go to the club where Emmett worked.

My thoughts drifted swiftly to Jake. I'm not sure why I kept thinking about him today. Probably because I was envious of Angela, how she had found Mr. Right. And I had nothing. I hadn't been past first base in over a year. Hell, I wasn't even at the ballpark. No worse, I hadn't even received the flyer announcing the game. I was desperately and entirely stuck.

But was I stuck on someone? Not allowing myself to think about Jacob really hadn't done me any good. It just kept me from dealing with the past. I remembered what he told me before the night that had practically ruined my life.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I love you. I have loved you ever since the day I first laid eyes on you, and I will continue to love you as long as you are living. You know that I'm not perfect, and I'm not good at the romantic stuff. But I can promise you this. I will never leave. I will never hurt you. And I will love you harder than anyone else possibly could. Please, be my wife."

I stood stark still. I wasn't ready for this. I hadn't even told him I loved him. Did he know that? Was he expecting me to say it now?

"Baby," he whispered, cupping his hand to my cheek. "Please talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling."

"Jake…I…I…don't know. I just…"

"What? Whatever's going on it's nothing we can't work through."

"It's just… I'm not where you are. I'm not ready for a 'forever' commitment. What I expected, from you, from us…" I wasn't making any sense.

"What do you expect Bella? For this to be perfect? Just like your dreams?" He was crying now. I did that to him. I caused this. "I can't believe you. Nothing I ever do is good enough. NOTHING!" I could see his anger pouring down his face. "I try to make a good life for you. I've given you everything I have. My heart, my soul. What else do you want?!"

"I don't know." I whimpered.

"Well it sure as hell isn't me. You've always had this delusion of what love would be like. These fantasies where no-one ever gets bored, and love is a force to be reckoned with. And as much as I try to live up to your deluded misconceptions I always let you down. I see it in your eyes every day. You wish I were something else. Someone else. I give you everything and you still want more. Well guess what, I've run out. There's nothing left."

"I'm so sorry.." I sobbed. "I…lo..love you. And I want us to be together, I just don't like marriage. I don't trust it. You know about my parents and-"

"STOP! Don't you dare put this on Renee and Charlie. This has nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. YOU. You make yourself miserable Bella. You don't trust anyone. Won't let anyone in. Even me, who loves you the most in this entire world, you hurt me every day and you don't give a shit. I'm done."

He started walking away.

"Wait! What do you mean?"

He whirled back around, fury radiating from his whole body.

"I'm finished. With you. You're dead to me."

I hit the ground with a thud, not remembering my knees giving out. My head was pounding, and I was shaking as I vomited into the grass. How have I ruined everything?

He was right. He was right about everything. But still. Here he is. Coming back into my life. Not giving up. Still fighting for us. For me. Do I want to refuse him?

No. I want to be loved. I want what Mike and Angela have. I want to be safe, secure, warm. I want to be happy again. I want Jacob.